Jem…Chapter 68

Chapter 68

We’re sitting and talking with Mr. Walker about the Halloween thing he’s got planned and the food comes but not our order but. “Here are some of the new offerings for the concert night offerings. Honestly the brittle’s gone over so well that I’d like to ask your opinions.”

The first is a small salad that is these chunks of cucumber and tomatoes in chunks as well but it had these green sour grape halves and a dressing of oil and vinegar and liberal amounts of fresh dill.

I kind of liked it the grapes wouldn’t work if they were sweet though. Rayne was making faces though. Me… “This needs just maybe some salt and some fresh pepper just before you serve it.

There’s another salad that’s just ribbon like peelings of courgettes both yellow and green and multicolored carrots. It’s dressed with something that has a bit of standard salad dressing like stuff oil and vinegar but instead of using the dollop of mustard like in a lot of dressings it has roasted red pepper paste? In it, there’s that red bellness to it and the hint of paprika there in there and lemon juice. They best thing is you can eat it like pasta and it’s really good.

“This is yummy.” I’m smiling and Rayne gives me her share of her sample. I’m thinking she’s not a huge veggie fan. “The only thing I’d do with this is have it offered as a side for your dinner or supper menu.” I eat her share too. The courgettes go really well with the dressing…I might just make this at home.

There’s a few other things but mostly the kind of stuff that’s wrapped like puff pastry finger foods with fillings.

Most are iffy for my tastes with like pate and stuff and I try honestly not to think or refer to them as dog-food. Rayne likes the pates so I guess it’s a matter of taste but I like this one that has a ground chicken meatball with fennel seed in it and brie cheese and the cheese makes it because it’s all gooey and creamy and melty. It’s the first time I’ve ever had brie and I liked it. Mind you I think it’s one of those good in small doses things.

And there’s this really, really decent mini chocolate croissant with dark chocolate running through the folds but this thick fudgy bit of chocolate and hazelnut that has the sweet balanced by the dark chocolate and the butter in the croissant just blends everything else together.

Oh…okay maybe it’s psychosomatic with being trans or that it’s the fact I have a girl brain but it’s really, really good…like foodgasmy good.

Rayne’s smiling with this I’m in heaven look and she grins at Mr. Walker. “You get a few glasses of wine into the women and they won’t care about how many calories these are or how much they cost, they’ll sell.”

We talk about that night coming up and maybe us playing a thanksgiving gig too something earlier in the night and low key like live dinner music for the crowd that comes in there and apparently he usually has a good turn out for that with things like specialty done turkey and squash filled ravioli and things and where it falls on a Monday we’ll be able to do it.

I’ll just cook our Thanksgiving dinner like a lot of people do that Sunday.

It’s hard to believe that I’ve been angel for nearly a month now. Like four more days. I thank Mr. Walker for the food and Rayne and I head off and I smile when she opens my door for me again.

“Thank you…you know you don’t have to do that right?”

“I know but I like to, besides can’t I treat my girlfriend like a lady?”

“You certainly can.” I’m blushing a bit but smiling.

Rayne leans over in the seat and she kisses me and I lean over a bit more just so I can wrap my arms around her neck and really get into the whole long and soft drawn out kisses.

I’m really getting my girl-on as the whole thing just gets really long and sweet and steamy…soft lips on soft lips, lipstick on lipstick and tongues tangoing together as we get hotter.

Rayne’s hands slide over my butt and nails trace then she cups me with a squeeze…chills run through me and I’m feeling like I’m boiling inside…

“Rayne…Rayne…Jesus…Rayne…”

I’m scare of where this is going, but I want it so much… “It’s okay Ange…god…I…I love kissing you.”

“I love kissing you too but last night….”

“I know…I know but we keep trying….”

“Trying…?”

I’m sort of waiting for an answer but we’re still kissing and Rayne hasn’t said anything because her tongue is impersonating Shakira right now….But her hands slide back and forth over my butt….up my sides.

I break the kiss gasping. “Trying?”

“I want to make you feel good too Angel.” Rayne runs her fingers through my hair.

“Sex isn’t everything honey.”

“No, no it’s not but I still want us to try….get past this bump…”

“Is it a bump?”

“It is to me…We.. can’t be… Me. It‘s not right Angel.”

I look her in the eyes and despite how scared I am given last night’s flop all I see is Rayne and her heart and the way she cares. And bare bones of life really is that it might take me a long time before I’m getting myself actually fixed…I have to live right?

I take a deep breath. “I wanna try too, we have to try….I wanna be with you the way I’ve always been meant to but who knows how long…”

She takes my head in her hands and deeply kisses me again. I kiss her back and reach up and can’t help but cup her chest as we’re leaning into each other fondle…squeeze…

We’re both shivering by the time we separate. “Whoa…” We both sorta say it at the same time and smile…bite our lips and blush tucking heads just being two shy girls in love.

I sit back and pull my legs up and rest/wedge them on the dash hugging myself… “Hunter street mall?”

“Okay…yeah, we can do that.” Rayne looks as keyed up and shaky from it as I am. You ever been so into someone that you feel like she leaves you shaking? Never in my life…it’s so scary but I love this.

Breathy, Shaky, Electric…

“I need chocolate.” She breathes and yeah…sex, kissing….chocolate, I could definitely go for some chocolate.

“Oh God yes that sounds good.” I sigh. We sort of look at each other smiling and she heads off to Hunter Street Mall. It’s a little post excitement too quiet and the MP-3 just seems…I think it’d be rude for me to turn it on. But Rayne turns it on with a shy smile and Rayne starts to hum along wit the first song that pops up…God I swear we’re brain wired together and I’m picking up the song. It’s an old tune by this great band called “Deep Blue Something.”

I start to sing, it’s a great tune….And Rayne’s coming in with me…It’s one of my sleeper favorites and apparently Rayne too with the way that we’re singing along with *Breakfast at Tiffany’s*

You say that we've got nothing in common
No common ground to start from
And we're falling apart
You'll say the world has come between us
Our lives have come between us
But I know you just don't care

CHORUS:
And I said what about "Breakfast at Tiffany's?
She said, "I think I remember the film,
And as I recall, I think, we both kinda liked it."
And I said, "Well, that's the one thing we've got."

I see you - the only one who knew me
And now your eyes see through me
I guess I was wrong
So what now? It's plain to see we're over,
And I hate when things are over -
When so much is left undone

CHORUS:
And I said what about "Breakfast at Tiffany's?
She said, "I think I remember the film,
And as I recall, I think, we both kinda liked it."
And I said, "Well, that's the one thing we've got."

You say that we've got nothing in common
No common ground to start from
And we're falling apart
You'll say the world has come between us
Our lives have come between us
But I know you just don't care

CHORUS:
And I said what about "Breakfast at Tiffany's?
She said, "I think I remember the film,
And as I recall, I think, we both kinda liked it."
And I said, "Well, that's the one thing we've got."  

It’s funny how just singing out a song with someone you’re really like hanging with or love even and actually driving along and singing your lungs out…It’s just something really powerful or it is to me. I’ve never got to jut drive and cruise with friends, or rocking out to great tunes just because you love the tunes for the treasures they are.

I actually love this…and even after out busking concert we’re still singing along. I love to sing, love music and I always have. To be with Rayne, doing this, being myself, discovering myself and her still loving me even though I born a male.

I’m actually really happy right now y’know.

And we pull into the oldest mall in town and I’m actually sort of excited to be here because it’s just me. I like the other mall fine but Hunter Street is a survivor and it’s got all these little shops and older stores. Bi-way, Dollarama, The great Canadian Dollar store, Frenchy's, and the Salvation Army plus all these different ethnic shops that are the starts of a new life for the immigrant families in town here.

“Okay first chocolate right?”

“Oh yes chocolate definitely.”

We head into Second Cup there in the mall and we’re greeted with a wave from the staff. I busked here the day I met Mike and the manager here and some of the staff had come to our gig at The Pine Tree.

“Jem, Raven what will you girls have!?”

Coolness he’s happy to see us. I smile at Raven and she’s looking surprised but happy surprised.

“Uhm can we get two of your hot chocolates and heavy on the shaved chocolate?”

“Sure!” He actually starts to do our order up himself. And that’s when I notice that the music playing in the background of the place is us… More specifically it’s *Billy Holiday.* I look at Raven.

“Hey…”

“Hmm?”

“Listen.”

She never even noticed and she stops and she listens and her eyes widen. “Oh whoa that’s us!”

“Yeah how cool is that?”

The manager smiles at us and he points to one of the flat screens that’s actually us from one of our You Tube videos. “We’ve been playing your stuff here a lot actually it tends to bring in some more of the kids.”

“Really?” I ask.

“Yeah we like the music anyway but I noticed it playing out of one of the kids lap tops the other day and then another one another day and I thought that it might be a good idea to put you girls up for the younger crowd.”

He passes us our hot chocolates…big cups with lots of whipped cream on top and grated chocolate over that. Second cup has great coffee I’ll have their when I’m not having Tim’s it’s my choice over Starbucks or Dunkin doughnuts. “Here ladies on the house.”

“Hey we should pay you know.” I say.

“No, no I’ve been playing your songs here and getting some younger people in here so I figure I owe you.”

“Well we’re on I-tunes now so you can but the songs or the videos and you can play them as much as you want or this I’m cool with it.”

Raven nods. “Me too.”

He smiles. “Thanks girls.”

I grin and pull Raven over to one side and whisper in her ear a bit and she nods. “Hey, you sell coffee club cards right?”

“Sure and debit gift cards too.”

“Well how about we do you the shop a gig sort of?”

“Gig sort of?”

“Well you’re space poor for playing but how about for every hundred club cards that are all punched you take them and get people to write down their face book pages and e-mails and stuff and you do a draw and the five top winners out of that hundred we’ll play an online song dedicated for them?”

“Really, but what are you girls getting out of it?”

I shrug. “Good will?”

“That’s it?”

Raven smiles “The occasional free coffee or hot chocolate?”

“If that’s the case sure!”

We talk it out and we use his office computer to print up a cheap leaflet that he puts up all around the store and out in the mall proper and stuff. We even get a big hug from him before he get’s embarrassed and turns red. We hug him back and give him a very flustering double kiss on the cheeks and head off to do some shopping.

Rayne looks at me. “We’re really going to do this?”

“Sure, it’s great press and great word of mouth and not just for his shop but he’ll be in our corner whenever we come up. We’re doing videos all the time anyways it’s not really going to be a problem to dedicate a few to the winners and let them put the videos we sent out for them on their pages.”

“So we still look good.”

“We look good to the fans and we are helping a local merchant which makes the band look like we play ball well with the local businesses and that gives us a good reputation there and that matters if we go for bigger and better gigs sometimes because people that set these things up ask about stuff like who plays well with others.”

“Mr. Walker’s right angel you belong in business school.”

“And I’m going to, I really want to now.”

She kisses me. “You know that I love the fact that you actually have ideas about living outside of the band.”

I kiss her back. “There’s no guarantees of fame or fortune I’ll be satisfied if we can do it and maybe even make a living with our music, but as much as I love all of this music is not my life…my life is my life and it’s got stuff more important in it than just that.”

“Really, like?”

“You.”

“Aaaw…Angel…” She kisses me and we have some watchers some okay with it some likely not but Hunter Street’s not one of those places where people get in your face about this kind of thing. But we slip into holding hands even afterwards and we hit the shops here too. Frenchy’s first, that’s a bin styled shopping place for second hand clothes and seeing as it’s Monday to get people in if you by five items or more you get twenty five percent off.

I used to shop here a lot because this is one of those places where you can find old but still great concert and rock t-shirts and other finds. I start bin diving and my options are so open now. I can wear anything I want that’s cute or just cool.

I kinda love this girl thing.

I get lucky and I score a Grateful Dead t-shirt and a Kansas shirt with Wayward son on it and a couple of just cute girly shirts with like pink and scooped necks, or lace edges and a huge loosely knit while sweater that hangs to my knees and the sleeves are way too long but it’s really soft and comfy, I get a Jem and the holograms tee-shirt that makes me squeal and okay it’s a bit small but it works really well as a belly shirt! I get three belts and a couple of cute knit caps and two guys fedoras hat look good on me…actually they look better on me as Angel than they ever would’ve on Jason.

And I barely spend thirty dollars.

Rayne got herself a couple of nice t-shirts that fit her of course in black and these killer black cords that’ll really look sexy on her and she buys a few belts that are more grrl styled and a beat up old denim vest with an Iron Maiden patch on the back and a couple of plaid shirts.

I grin and tickle her. “So…what is it with lesbians and plaid?”

“One…it’s comfortable, two it’s not a lesbian thing to me it’s a grunge thing. I like the look.”

“I like the look too, I’m so picturing you with a bandana on and signing.”

We kiss and head to Salvation Army… There’s more thrift store shopping and Rayne’s looking at the used books and some of the house ware stuff. Some things you can get that you should given the chance. Ice cube trays, potato mashers the good older metal ones they’re like ten bucks new. We get one for .50 cents there. A cheap wok which we don’t have and cheap pictures that we get more for the frames really and I get a couple of nice blouses, and five dresses that are kind of cute in a vintage way. There’s this cream colored cotton and lace trimmed spaghetti strapped sun dress that I just had to get…those with my white knit styled stay up stockings I have will make a killer out fit.

The rest of the shopping is mostly looking and stuff but I buy some stuffies for my room at Bi-Way and I’m getting few odds and ends at Dollarama while Rayne went down to the basement. There’s an open set of stairs that go down to a few shops that are…well they deal with stuff like adult stuff and video stores with adult stuff and there’s a smoke shop there and a pawn shop too. I meet up with her pushing the cart with all of our stuff and she has a black plastic shopping bag from Mystique.

Yeah that’s the adult store.

“What did you buy?”

“You’ll see?”

“Uhm Rayne…” She’s giggling at me then kisses me. “Later Angel.”

“What did…okay how did you buy it you’re underaged?”

She looks at me and laughs. “Ange, it’s run by a pair of lesbians, as long as you’re not a tweenager they’ll serve any girl.”

“Oh…” I’m blushing and she…she opens my door again and se loads the stuff into the back of the van. “Rayne I can help okay?”

“No…I want to do this.”

“Why?”

“Because, cannot a girl be Shevallerous for her girl?” Okay…she’s French…I remember that…she’s like prairie French so I’ve not idea that she speaks it well enough that she slipped into this sexy French accent when she said that to me. Shivers…sweet sexy shivers of Yayness dance up and down my spine.

Images of Rayne dressed up in a deep black version of the Jessica Rabbit outfit.

“Sure…” But I’m smiling and biting my lip. I’ve always been a hard worker and I sort of want to pull my own weight and stuff but Rayne wants to do this and…it’s kind of nice to get pampered.

We drive home and we both unload the van since most of the stuff is mine and well I’m just starting to separate the stuff for the wash when she’s leaning against me from behind and pressing her breasts to my back…kissing my neck…cupping my breasts and more kissing and I turn around her and she walks me to my bed taking my clothes off…I’m taking her clothes off and she lays me down and we kiss…those sweet deep French kisses that I’m getting used to…loving but getting used to…

I…we…break for air.

“God Rayne you kiss like we’re dancing…”

“Good…yay…” She purrs.

I purr back. “Mmm…Shakira, Shakira…”

“Lips don’t Lie?”

“Mmm…”

We kiss some more and se gets me down to my panties and it gets so boiling hot…ten Rayne goes down on me…

Okay not like that but she pushes my almost stiffy downward before it’s raging and…well it is what it is… (Mind-frown.) But she…she licks and nuzzles my panties she gets the satin/nylon wet and it feels so thin there…there right at the tip.

“Oh…found your clitty…”

(Squeak…!) I get out a squeak…I’m shaking and she never moves it from being flat…and one hand rubs my mound and the other holds it flat but her mouth…her lips….the licking pressure of her tongue right there through the cloth is driving mw insane…I can’t stay still.

It doesn’t feel like it…all my sensations these crazy insane super delicious sensations are coming from that one part. And it’s so good!, It’s so good she changes the entire feeling of that ugly truth…I feel like a girl…I feel like a virgin getting her first taste of being taken by a Sapphic goddess!

“Rayne, Rayne, Rayne….oh my…my clitty…..!”

I cum…hard…into my panties…but it’s not the same…it’s still all from the tip…it’s so sensitive that…and it might be all in my head but…something just feels like this fuzzy heat lamp inside of my abdomen afterwards.

I’m bawling happy tears…this wasn’t the same…it wasn’t the same…Rayne Kisses me and Kisses me and nuzzles my face…Then I feel her move my panties aside…Coolness of lube like last time at dad’s house and I bite my lips and my insides twitch in excitement as she tears open a condom with Her teeth and I feel her fingers sink in…

Oh…It’d different this time I’m still very OMG that this is happening and she’s still using one hand to hold it down… and it takes me awhile to adjust…I mean it’s her fingers there but she finds that spot deep in me that…oh…

And to be honest Rayne’s using her first two fingers to make love to me but her thumbs siding over my tip and…it’s not like but it’s like…she, she found a way…this is why she really wanted to try again because she figured it out…figured me out and found a way.

And there’s nothing guy and girl about this me getting taken like this, made love to and I’m crying…because the pleasure…it’s that place deep inside and that super sensitive little tip at the same time and she’s kissing me…shoving her hand into me like her other lesbian lovers she’s had and…

My second has me arch my back and I squirted yeah but her fingers kept banging and rubbing my spot inside as I was squirting and clenched and I felt something stronger than the squirt inside.

I’m bawling and crying… “Rayne!…Rayne…thank you! Oh baby thank you! I…I…I’ve never felt so me before! (Big Sniffles.) ever!”

It’s so true…

Bye Jason…thanks for protecting me…

“Angel…?”

“Yes Rayne…?”

“Close your eyes baby.”

I close my eyes and more happy, more fulfilled tears run out. I hear something and I’m being kissed.

“You want more?” I feel something and it’s not a finger…

I open my eyes and Rayne’s wearing one of those lesbian toy harnesses…with a gel clear uhm model guys bit hanging from it.

My eyes widen, and I start giggling, and laughing. “Oh my gawd Rayne it’s hot pink!”

“I thought you liked pink?”

I loose it in this giggle fest.