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Author's Note: Picture used with permission from *lavonia on deviantart.

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Chapter 114
 

Jem…Chapter 114

Chapter 114

*Before…

And then we’re done…or done for now and I have to make myself get up and move and clear the table…Dad takes the plates from me and stuff I have and smiles. “We’ll do the rest you and the girls go and relax and stuff and us guys will do the clean-up.”
I give him a hug. “Deal.”
It’s pretty cool the look of…huh? On the faces of Carmen and Molly as the guys pretty much shoo us out of there and take over the cleaning up. It’s so very cool to see how happy that it seems to make Brooklyn and Rayne that they are doing that for us.
We head into the TV room and all sort of settle in the couches there and the chairs and we turn on the TV and search through the things on satellite until decide on something to watch all together and Rayne had the remote so we actually end up watching *Lillo and Stitch* together.
Happy sigh…and I fall asleep in Rayne’s arms pillowed on her chest with blankets and everything just…Awesome.

*And Now…

It’s not too long before I’m actually drifting awake and I’m smiling because I feel so good and cozy and stuff plus I had a really nice dream.

It was after…it was after Adam and it was after a lot of the stuff with the girls and school and we were all still doing the band thing and we were all going to school. It was a mix of the business school and the computer college and stuff but it was so good because I was me…I was post op and smooth and nothing dangling and stuff and my breasts were my breasts and they felt so good…not like porny good but like they were real and they moved and they swayed and did all the things to me that told my brain that yes…yes I’m finally right with this whole inside out thing.

Waking up after that wasn’t ever really a letdown either…I mean there was so much about all of that that didn’t really change with things in my life between the way that they are now and the dream that it doesn’t feel like a dream in the fantasy way but more like when I do my list dreams.

Yes, I always have this bunch of lists in my head of things I have to do.

Things that I need to do soon.

Things that I want to do and plan on doing them.

And the things that I really, really want to do. The kind of if I had the spare time things and stuff and special projects sort of things and sometimes things can and do migrate from one list to another but they’re always there in my head.

The dream was like the last one, something that I want to do and it’s one of those things that’s so within actual reach.

So waking up and still sort of being right there in the sort of same place almost feels really nice. And I sort of smile at other thoughts like I have a face full of Rayne’s breast under me and while it’s sexy and cool it’s her breast like it’s just…sort of normal and not some giggly boy spazzy thought thing. It’s kind of flicking my girl brain switches and my lesbian switches in that it’s sweet and it’s sexy but not like in a creepy way.

Actually the sexiest thing right now as I sit up and I look at her is her face. She’s got that no make-up and her glasses resting on the edge of her nose thing that is so sweet and sexy mixed up with her hair doing that messy but I was sleeping on the couch so somehow it’s still sort of perfect thing going on.

And yeah I’m her girlfriend and I’m biased and that’s in no way coloring the way that I’m seeing her.

It’s semi dark in here too and the living room is getting sort of lit by the TV and as I’m sitting up I can see Dad and the guys and brook and Kim outside at the thing that Dad was building with Uncle Mitch and there’s a good fire going and I smile, I like a fire and a sort of campfire and stuff a whole lot there’s something that’s sort of cheery about it and stuff like maybe even something that goes like way back in the human whatever like from caveman days.

Even from here I can tell that Kim’s excited since she’s a city girl I don’t think she’s ever really done the campfire thing I lean over and I kiss Rayne and she smiles and does the little bewitched nose twitchy thing.

“Mmm…what time is it?” She says after the kiss and licking her lips and then doing the fingertip girl thing with wiping the sleep from her eyes.

I still have to fight not rubbing my eyes when I have make-up on all the time… some things I never got to learn to be built in habit. “No idea but it’s been a couple of hours I think.”

“I could so go back to sleep but a bed would be just about right?”

I kiss her again. “Uhm…how about a bonfire instead?”

She looks at me and she blinks. “Oh…oh it’s been a long time since I’ve been at a bonfire.”

“So…convinced you?”

“Hell yeah, you feel like playing?”

“Playing sure, like around the bonfire?”

“Yeah and maybe even shoot some, I’ve never done that playing by the bonfire thing before and it’s look great as a video or two.”

I nod and lean back and pull on her hands and help her up off the couch and she comes up off of it and she kisses me right fast and deeply and she even dips me a little too.

Yays.

I giggle some and actually enjoy the whole feeling and the moment and stuff…god that’s just so nice to not have to pretend or like not be into this. I know I’m right there in the whole stereotype and a girl stereotype that a lot of people just don’t like but honestly and really I’m not even trying I’m just letting go and being myself.

The benefit of not acting like I’m a goalie stick is that I don’t have to act tough anymore. Not that I was a whole raging guy of like…Ugh Jase tough…it’s more like as a guy I had no real clue that I was supposed to do anything else but be able to take it.

And it’s just this sort of me falling into all of this as being me that cleared things up. I mean I have a sneaky suspicion that even out of here and away from Adam and all of that stuff I’d still had been unhappy in that whole tortured artist way and not getting it.

There is a sort of freedom in actually knowing in how you’re messed up.

So all in all there’s no bull going on while I’m being dipped and kissed, and there’s no bull and stuff with Rayne being bigger and stronger than me.

It’s all good and with the rest of today all good is just awesome really.

I head with her to find our stuff and the guitars and the instruments and stuff and the cameras and thing and a lot of it’s actually not there and I smile. “Looks like we’re not the only one’s thinking about a jam session.”

Rayne grins back and we get the cameras and I slip back to the laundry room and I knock and cough. “You two want to come out and hang out at the bonfire?”

I hear some movement and some shssh’s and a quite laugh-snort and that wet on wet sound of a kiss happening. I kind of smile as I hear. “Uhm…yeah sure just a moment…a minute…” Molly and right after that Carmen. “We’ll be out after we’re dressed.”

And there’s a tiny smacking sound and a hushed Molly saying. “Shssh…don’t tell her that.”

I step away smiling, did they just fool around? Did they hook up? And sort of more seriously there’s the whole Carmen thing and just how and where is she with her head space kind of thing. I actually set that aside for now since she sounded sort of happy, or at least having a good time and I’m not superstitious or anything but I am a believer in like not borrowing trouble when you don’t have too.

I meet back up with Rayne and we head out to the yard where the bonfire is and okay it looks cool.

My place or “Uncle Remy’s place” is one of the last houses on piper street and we’re an old street too so it’s like it was going to expand and keep going but there were other sub-divisions built in other areas and the new houses sort of stopped when mom and Dad bought the place.

So that sort of left this really big huge field that was empty lots beside us and dad bought those and he put of the garage and stuff. So when you get to our place and there’s this line of small spruce trees that divides our property from the neighbors and a little strip of side lawn where the oil tanks are for the furnace and then there’s the then the house.

The house is blue grey painted and it’s narrow in the front with the 50’s styled pillar porch front and the everyday use doors are actually at the side of the house and it’s a lot longer than it looks from the road so it’s a big sort of rectangle house it’s got two stories plus a full sized attic and a big basement and on the side entrance of the house is the old driveway that leads to a matching shed garage the same color of the house and that’s where all the stuff like the mowers and stuff is at.

The rest of the place is big and it’s near fenced off with chain link fence and ivy that mom had planted to make it look not quite so bad and wild lupin flowers along the outside edges of it too….all except for this big new plywood sheet bolted to it with our band logo painted on it…

That’s My Dad…our Very Own Billboard.
But near the front of that big side yard is more pavement over concrete for the big equipment and then “The Shop” which is three bays long with a side office and behind all of that is the rest of the lot with parked salvage vehicles for parts and stuff.

The fire pit is actually really neat it’s two big sheets of thick corrugated steel welded together and on it is cinder blocks and quick set concrete I think but the whole ring is like three feet high and five feet wide and it’s sitting on top of some cinder blocks.

And they have bench seats made from the old back seats from some of the cars from our salvage yard bolted to 2X4 frames so there’s easy sitting. There’s a cooler for drinks and stuff and things to roast marshmallows and to make s’mores and stuff there too.

I go over and I hug-snuggle him and gesture at it all. “A bit much?”

He shakes his head. “Nope…it’s all one piece and with the blocks I can forklift it out back when we don’t need it and the seats can double in the shop and stuff.”

Kimmie’s. “Are you serious this is the coolest thing ever!”

I smile and she’s got her phone out and she’s taking pictures of all of it and stuff and it kind of reminds me and stuff about just how much some of the kids raised in other places don’t get some of the things that we usually do.

I get a seat and Rayne sit’s with me and Brooklyn’s sitting with Mike and he’s got her grandfather’s guitar out and he’s playing and starting to get into it and Billy’s got his harmonica out and playing along with Mike and they’re just sort of guy jamming.

Molly and Carmen come out from the house last and they look like they’ve been doing stuff with some flushedness and shy smiles. Molly’s eyes are dancing quite a bit and she’s still sort of looking at Carmen like she’s sort of in shock…good shock but shock and Carmen’s looking like there’s something good that’s happened but it’s something that she can’t really put into anything that she can process right now.

We get some seats and sort of snuggle and stuff I’m a sucker for toasted marshmallows no matter how bad they might be for me and I pop one on a dollar store bbq-fork and get mine started.

It’s kind of cool to watch and not be in the mix of it for a change and they start to sit sort of close together as a kind of a group and the guys start to sing. I look at Rayne and I feed her my marshmallow and the way too hot is gentled by her sucking on my fingers and she smiles with her mouth closed and she sets up the camera to record this…we might not use this and we might.

I’m nodding and smiling as Mike’s strumming away into a familiar tune and a favorite of mine too.

*More than Words* By Extreme… And it’s Davey with the light touch voice….in that holy crap surprising way.

Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you…
It's not that I want you… 
Not to say, but if you only knew 
How easy it would be to show me how you feel 

(And right now is when all the guys chime in…)
More than words is all you have to do to make it real 
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me 
'Cause I'd already know….

What would you do if my heart was torn in two 

(The guys.) More than words to show you feel 
That your love for me is real 

What would you say if I took those words away 

(The guys.) Then you couldn't make things new 
Just by saying I love you 

More than words…..

Now that I've tried to….. (The guys) talk to you and make you understand….
All you have to do is….. (The guys) close your eyes 
(The guys) And just reach out your hands and touch me 
(The guys) Hold me close don't ever let me go

 
(The guys) More than words is all I ever needed you to show 
(The guys) Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me 
(The guys) 'Cause I'd already know……. 

What would you do if my heart was torn in two….

(The guys)More than words to show you feel 
That your love for me is real
 
What would you say if I took those words away 

(The guys) Then you couldn't make things new 
Just by saying I love you 

(The guys) More than words…….

Oh it’s so good with the spaces and all of them doing the breaks with the la-de-da-de-la… parts in acapella style and they’re all being those guys, the whole did the dishes and build this thing for all of us ca serenade to a bunch of girls type of guys….and not like in the whole we’d ever hook up with the perv stuff that some weird people might think but that because you’re guys and that’s a song that you just do stuff like this with.

I’m eating another marshmallow and we’re kind of eating those and yeah I know we had deserts and stuff but this is a bonfire so there’s like traditions and stuff. That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it.

Dad actually does a little guy whisper to Mike and the tune changes and they’re doing the brolingo talking to each other and the kill a few more drinks and Mike actually sings and he’s still that sexy guy throaty voice thing and he starts to go into. *To be with You* By Mr. Big.

And with Mike at least he’s not singing to us he’s singing to Brooklyn and she leans with her back on Kimmie’s knees that are pulled up on the car seat and she bites her lip and she wraps her hands and arms around her knees…her eyes are seriously shining.

Hold on little girl..
Show me what he's done to you.

Stand up little girl
A broken heart can't be that bad…

When it's through, it's through 
Fate will twist the both of you…
 
So come on baby… come on over… 
Let me be the one to show you…

(And cue the guys doing the chorus) I'm the one who wants to be with you
Deep inside I hope you feel it too…. (Dad extra back up…)…feel it too…
Waited on a line of greens and blues
Just to be the next to be with you….

Build up your confidence…
So you can be on top for once.

Wake up who cares about 
Little boys that talk too much…

I seen it all go down 
Your game of love was all rained out.

So come on baby… come on over…
Let me be the one to hold you!

[Chorus] (The guys.)

Why be alone when we can be together baby…?

You can make my life worthwhile
And I can make you start to smile…

Wow…wow, of wow and I’m grinning and Brooklyn shoots off the seat and she kisses him and then she does this fingers of both hands and runs them through his hair and she stares into his eyes after she breaks the kiss and she says something to him that looks a lot like she said…olive juice to him.

She says something else and he nods and he adjusts the guitar and he starts to strum and then moves so she can sit in his spot and he stands and he plays for all of us but he serenades her with their song… *Daughters* By John Meyer.

I know a girl…
She puts the color inside of my world…

But she's just like a maze
Where all of the walls all continually change.

And I've done all I can…
To stand on her steps with my heart in my hands…

Now I'm starting to see
Maybe it's got nothing to do with me…

Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do…
Girls become lovers… who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too…

Oh, you see that skin?
It's the same she's been standing in…

Since the day she saw him walking away…
Now she's left.
Cleaning up the mess he made…

So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do…
Girls become lovers… who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too…

Boys, you can break..
You'll find out how much they can take.

Boys will be strong
And boys soldier on.

But boys would be gone without the warmth from
A woman’s good, good heart…

On behalf of every man…
Looking out for every girl….
You are the god and the weight of her world

So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too…..

Just watching them and seeing her and how utterly happy she is has me wiping at my eyes and sniffling and I look over to see Dad sitting with Kimmie and she’s doing this semi-snuggle into Dad’s shoulder and she’s crying and stuff and dad’s well; he’s being dad and he’s got an arm around her and holding her while kissing the top of her forehead and I look and see Carmen looking fascinated and upset too along with Molly who are sort of both watching dad and Kim and Mike and Brooklyn.

I’d be right there more sniffly and more upset with things because there’s girls like Brook, Molly, Carmen who have never really seen a good guy before and I’m pretty sure never actually had one in their lives before.

But they sort of seem happy to be here…to feel and see this and Rayne’s got her arms wrapped around me in the whole needing to hug and hold onto me thing.

Her and her dad parted really badly when she came out and she lost that chance to really make up for it when he passed away.

I reach on her arms and rub my hands over then and lean back to tuck my head under her chin and I feel her rest her weight on my head some and sigh.

“I Love you Rainbow.”

“I love you too Angel.” (Sniffle.)

Dad gets the guitar and he smiles at us and he looks at Kimmie who whispers in his ear and he nods. “I think I can play that.”

He starts playing and I sort of recognize it and I sort of don’t and I completely recognize it as Kimmie is up and dancing in front of the fire and she starts to sing. *Iko-Iko* as done By Cyndi Lauper…

It’s awesome because it’s a bunch of girls singing around the campfire hyped up with marshmallow sugar singing loudly “Hey-now! Hey-now!”

And then Dad who’s actually an okay singer follows that with Elton John and he sings *How wonderful life is…* and on the acoustic and he’s singing it to all of us girls…and that gets me all happy and sniffling.

I’m so playing that for the formal gig at The Pine Tree…it’s sweet and it’s happy…and it’s just amazing really.

Then he goes from that with Uncle Mitch into *Roller Derby Queen* By Jim Croce and that’s a kind of an old but fun song and while they’re on a roll as it were they both end up doing *Cover of The Rolling Stone.* By Dr. Hook. Okay not a lot of my generation are familiar with Dr. Hook but dad listens to them a lot and it’s actually pretty common in some places…yeah the older set sure but if you’re really into music it’s hard to have never heard the song “Cover of The Rolling Stone.”

And yeah we’re singing along with the chorus as it’s being played.

By the time I get the guitar I have a song in my head and I start to play and we all end up singing. *Give a little bit…* By Supertramp around the campfire. That’s actually a really feel good song and one that we can all sing along to as well.

I can’t help but to get with some of the songs that I think are great sing along kind of rock tunes now that I have the guitar. So we go from that into… *A Little Help From My Friends.* By the Beatles

That’s another song we all fall into regardless if we’re in the band or with the band.

It’s all kind of the same thing right?

I go from that into one of our personal faves and a right proper song for this kind of thing and that’s… *We’re Here For A Good Time.* By Trooper and it’s a song we’re all used to from our show but it’s still just one of the right fits for this.

It’s been good food and a good day and loved ones and lovers and then ending it all off with this it’s a great way to end the day.

I pass the guitar back to Brooklyn and get up. “It’s getting later than I thought you guys, we should start packing things up and get ready and stuff we have the special show at The Pine tree tomorrow.”

There’s some groans and some nods and we leave the guys to it and stuff and we head inside and I start to get some of the stuff together in the kitchen and Dad was smart and he left most of it alone just doing the dishes so he could let me do whatever I needed to do with them and stuff and I pack one of those plastic zip up cooler bags that Mom had you know the ones that look like plastic picnic baskets with the sort of plaid pattern making up for it not being wicker or woven wooden strips…I don’t know what that’s called?

I put in it some mason jars of the chili and the beans and I do up some cleaned out containers from yogurt and majorine with some of the dressing and potatoes and some of the vegetables and then I put in a container with some left-over turkey.

While I’m doing that Kim’s doing the same and she’s quickly making some turkey fried rice with instant rice and some veggies and once it’s done there lots of turkey fat and loose turkey bits off the bird to do the rest and she makes a bunch of sandwiches too.

That reminds me I get some of the baking too and I wrap it up…bread and rolls and I get a tin pie plate mom had saved from before and I make up a pie out of several slices of different pies and wrap some of the pumpkin and mincemeat for Kim.

That all done and stuff I squirrel it away into the van and start organizing the leftovers for the guys in Tupperware dishes with labels and stuff and then go down to the laundry room to see how things are going.

They have most of it done and there’s a pile of stuff that’s been set aside and I look it over and Molly’s blushing. “Yeah some of it’s old stuff and some of it won’t fit me anymore.”

I nod. “There stuff here that I can fix.”

“Really?”

“Sure, I’ll be across the hall okay?”

“Uhm…okay.”

I take the stuff across the hall to mom’s sewing room and the first thing I do is look for the stuff that I know fits her but has wear damage. Yeah if you’re really, really broke and you don’t know how to do this stuff well things get set aside as a someday thing. I look around and mom has some of the stuff here that you can use to replace things with like buttons and snaps and zippers and all that stuff and extra material.

I’m getting things laid out when Rayne sits behind the sewing machine and she sets it all up and takes a few things that I wasn’t sure what to do with and she’s ripping at the seams with this thingy.

Okay…okay…I’m not a sewer, I’ve used the machine before though because I had to with some of my own clothes for like hemming pant legs and stuff.

She’s pulling those pout and letting out pleats? Okay there’s folds of folded up cloth in some of these things and letting the out actually seems to work and stuff and we’re actually doing a lot of this stuff up and Rayne’s fast and she really knows what she’s doing with this.

“You’re good at this.”

She smiles. “Actually yeah, it’s one of the few things that I was good at in Home Ec. I wanted to design outfits for the band and stuff.”

“Cool so are we going to be doing that now?” I smile at her and offer some blinks of please and stick my lower lip out.

“If we can get a sewing machine sure and stuff.”

“Can we use this one?”

“No, it’s your mom’s.”

“She not exactly using it.”

“Angel, you ever think that your dad might just want some stuff as is?”

“Oh…yeah…he kind of likely does and stuff. We should get our own.”

Rayne nods. “Besides we can mark it under wardrobe and stuff for the band.”

I nod. “We can actually set up a prop and costume room in the office if we get the go ahead from the landlord.”

“For…?”

“I wrote and asked if we could convert the old garage into our offices given that we’re moving Carmen in.”

“That would be great I assume that you talked to your dad about building it and stuff?”

“Oh yeah he’s in.”

She looks at me and she smiles. “I really, really am more than lucky that we are doing this…that we like found each other.”

I smile and I look at her. “Me too Rainbow.” I lean over and I kiss her and she kisses me back.

“You are way too fond of calling me that.”

I smile and headrub with her and Eskimo kiss with her into the next kiss… “I am… (Kiss.)... I really am.”

She wraps her arms around my neck in that sexy way. “I guess I can live with that.”

I sort of pull her up and she goes with it and I sway and we dance there together on the spot kissing each other and we’re sort of doing this humming back and forth thing to Bon Jovi’s *Thank You For Loving Me.* no words but just sort of humming it back and forth between each other and our kisses.
And a few words slip out from me and her with really light just to each other singing… “Thank you…for loving me…”

Rayne… “For being my eyes…When I couldn’t see…”

Me… “For parting lips, when I couldn’t breathe…”

And both of us together and leaning together closer and closer for another kiss… “Thank you…for loving…me…”

Then we’re kissing again and this time it’s really deeply and Rayne’s doing that angel’s brain getting stirred thing to me with her tongue…

We’re doing that until there a couple of coughs and a snicker that was Kimmie.

We break it up and we both turn a little red because we were really getting into it with some uhm…touching and stuff was starting to happen.

Molly and Carmen are there with Kim and Molly’s red faced and flustered and Carmen actually smiles and she gives us this okay hand sign and Kim…well she has her face in some towels in her arms but she got that look like she just saw two of the people she’s been shipping being together and she wants to girly squeal about how cool it is.

Rayne and I break it up and she grabs the pile of stuff we, well that she did and passes it to Molly who’s blinking in surprise. “Here, I let somethings out and sewed the rest with fixes except for two pairs of the jeans that you had and those I made into…” and she holds up a shoulder bag with the pockets on the outside and stuff but it looks cool with the fancy embroidery that the jeans once had on it all relocated by her deft hands and stuff.

Molly’s like… “Wow…uhm…wow…you did this for me?”

And yeah there’s that bit of that Molly into Rayne fan girl stuff going on and Rayne smiles at her. “Uhm…yeah you’re part of the band Molly, you’re one of us right? We do stuff for each other.”

Kimmie bursts out with… “Cause the band is like family!”

I nod. “Damned skippy.”

There’s some full arm sort of hugs and we leave and we look for anything we might have left over and then we head out to our vehicles and stuff and Dad and Uncle Mitch are there to hug us and stuff as we’re getting ready to leave.

Dad gives me a big hug. “This was awesome Angel, I loved it and your Mom loved it, I could so feel her here with us today and tonight y’know.”

I hug him back hard. “Yeah I know Daddy.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Sure you’re coming too?”

“You betcha, I’m going to be sticking by my girls no matter what.”

I hug him again and then I have to share him again as the girls hug him and Carmen does too and Molly…well she shakes his hand and she’s not there yet but she is smiling as she did it though and that seems to me a pretty cool thing.

Mike has his car and we get into the van and Brooklyn has hers and as we’re pulling out there’s the rumble of Billy and Davey behind us on the bikes as our escort…I got to admit it makes me feel safer when things are still up in the air like they are and everything.

It doesn’t take too long to get back to Molly’s house…place and we stop and we get in and her room…house mates are there and it’s three other girls and there’s some guy there and stuff and they look at us as we come in and there’s some questioning looks and stuff and one of the girls perks up.

“Holy shit you’re Starlight Butterfly!”

I smile. “Yes, that would be us.”

“You know Molly?” There’s this…it’s like it’s surprising that she’d know us thing there in her voice. I don’t like girl on girl catty digs, it’s not cool.

“Sure do, Molly’s been a friend of the band for a long time now and stuff and we really needed a cool computer ace to help us with all of our stuff so Molly was the first person that came to mind she’s actually pretty awesome.”

There’s this look at me like… like she wants to say something or maybe call me a liar or something and Rayne chimes in with. “She’s a great addition to the band.”

The other girl looks up. “She’s part of the band? You made Her part of the band?”

Okay…okay…there’s this…

I’m mad…and I head after Molly to her room and she’s blushing and it’s not the embarrassed kind either and I look at her. “You okay?”

(Sniffle.) “Yeah…never was one of the cool kids.”

I take a breath and I step in and I hug her. “Are you going to be alright?”

(Sniffle.) “Yeah they’re just being assholes, showing off because of like bullshit reasons.”

“You don’t have to stay here.”

“Yeah I do, it’s my house and my room and stuff.”

“Molly you can come and stay with us.”

“No, no I can’t Angel.”

I look at her and she looks at me and stuff and there’s this thing there between me and her. She doesn’t want the pity. She’s hard her share of it I think more than she can stomach and stuff.

I get that…the sick kid, the freak…there was a lot of pity from a lot of people especially after mom died and stuff. Molly’s a big girl, yeah she has a lot of extra weight and stuff and I’m not shaming that…it takes all kinds but there’s a lot of head fuckery if you’ll pardon the language with that and self-perception and pity…and whatever else had happen with her.

“Okay…but the offer stands. It’ll always stand.”

(Sniffle.) “Thanks…I don’t know why…you’d…”

I hug her really tight. “I don’t need a why, being human to other people doesn’t need a why Moll.”

We break up the hugs and we start unloading her stuff and there’s an attitude shift with her roomies since it’s readily apparent that we’re not going to play their game and we’re not going to take their shit and Kimmie’s got garbage bags and she’s cleaning out the junk that I wanted too and she’s shooting them looks like they’re a bunch of lazy assholes for not doing this themselves.

Hell…I just let her go…I was going to and they look like they might say something and Molly’s sort of between embarrassed and giving them the look too and yeah…the guy on the couch gets up when Brooklyn gets the mop and the bucket.

“Hey this isn’t your place, just what the fuck do you think that you’re doing?”

He runs into Billy’s hand on his chest as he steps in from just being outside. The guy looks shocked. “You shut up, you don’t ever talk to any woman in this house ever again like that with that tone or I’ll be carrying you nads around in my back pocket.”

He swallows as Billy looms in on him and stuff…I see the guys eyes flicker to Billy’s jacket and the patches.

We’re nice girls, we’re nice people but I’m not going to stop him from thinking whatever he’s thinking now.

In fact… “We’re dropping some stuff off here too for Molly and we’ would appreciate it if you’d not help yourselves to it. If you ask and she says it’s cool fine but…”

Billy… “No more mooching off of Molly. Got it? We clear?”

The guy kind of wheezes-weasels… “Super clear.”

Molly’s there with this stunned look on her face for a second and she looks like she wants to cry and she’s smiling and stuff and I take her by the hand. “C’mon let’s get the rest of your things.”

She nods and she looks at me once we’re outside. “I…jeeze…no one’s ever done this kind of stuff…and just…stuck up for me….”

I grab the bags with the food and pass them to her and her eyes get a little bigger and then there’s some tears. I grab the bags with the extra laundry stuff and the cleaning stuff.

“Band is family.” I look her in the eyes. “Family stands up for each other.”

She’s still crying and she’s nodding…. (Big Sniffle.) “Wh…why me though?”

“Why the hell not you? There’s nothing wrong with you Molly.”

“Nuh...no one’s ever said that…”

I heft the two bags of stuff and I head into her place walking backwards. “Well they’re blind and they’re stupid because I see you Molly and I think you’re effing amazing.”

She follows and she (Sniffles) “Why…?”

“Because it’s true Molly, I don’t need a reason other than that.”

“But it’s not…”

We get inside and the girls are there and they’re looking at me and stuff and her and Rayne leans on the kitchen counter. “Sorry Molly, who ever said that stuff to make you think that…they’re not here and we are and we have the bullshit outnumbered.”

She starts crying and her roomies leave, they leave pretty fast and I hear a muffled oh shit as they seen Davey outside on his bike and we close ranks with her and we hug it all out.

I don’t bring it up again my offer and stuff, and we get the food put away and stuff and we clean stuff up and molly retreated for a while into het room to get her bed made and stuff with Carmen going to help her and I just…

I can’t help it, I don’t like them…I don’t like whatever happened to her, I don’t like not having her close buy where she can be safe and stuff.

Rayne hugs me from behind. “We can only be there for her when she needs us and stuff…it’s her life.”

“I offered her a place with us.”

“I know.”

“You mad?”

“Why would I be mad? It’s you being you Angel. I’m so in love with your heart…besides.”

“Besides?”

“What’s Jem without Starlight House?”