Jem…Chapter 160

*Before…

“We should get ready, we kind of pushed it.”
“But…?”
I kiss her mound and then her belly button. “We have time later, I’m in no rush hon, we’re not keeping score.”
She pulls me up to kiss me and it’s that deep, deep swirling melt my brain kiss that ends with her forehead to mine.
“Say that again Angel?”
“We’re not keeping score.”
She kisses me again as we’re getting up and I honestly think that that’s the most important part of everything that we just did.

*And Now…

There’s still quite the little bit of a rush for being in a good relationship. It’s so nice to have Rayne in this whole mood where she’s holding my hand as we go to the bathroom and we’re getting showered and we’re getting changed.

I mean it’s really, really cool because we’re into that deep relationship touching.

You know the stuff where they touch your with their hands and their eyes.

And fingers touching your face, trailing your jawline, a thumb running over your lips.

Those make you ache kind of kisses.

And it’s a good ache, it’s a great ache really but it’s a confusing one because I want so many things and part of me even with how I am I’m still almost boiling over from it all. I’m in little tears because it’s so good and I don’t even know all these things that I want…that my body wants.

It’s not confusing with like my gender in that way that I want Jase things, no these are definitely not boy feelings that I’m having and there’s this pretty big part of me that’s okay with it. Like super okay with it.

It’s so that teen-sex-ache-girl-in-love-good-heart-ache.

And it’s sinking in bone deep and making me feel so very much alive.

And in love.

There’s so much kissing, kissing in that deep over and over again way where Rayne’s slipped her tongue if with mine and she’s playing her very own versions of naughty Twister.

There’s this point where I want her under my skin, I don’t want her to stop touching me. But life does have that thing where it keeps going on and we have to get ready and get dressed and going for our show at The Amsterdam tonight.

We did really have to rinse off and get out of the shower and get ready. And that was still its own kind of fun and other things y’know. There’s a lot to be said about drying each other off and untangling hair so Carmen can do her thing with it later and brushing your teeth together.

And Rayne nearly swallowing her mouthful of mouthwash as we were trying to make funny faces at each other in the mirror as we were rinsing.

She coughs and spits and I’m laughing and then she tickles me and I tickle her back and she laugh squeals when I do that and we laugh some more and she slips her arms around my hips and then come together in the small of my back and well that have me blushing hard because it’s still there and even if I’m in my double set of panties it’s still there even if it’s not doing anything but be there and we’re really close, like pelvis to pelvis.

It’s so intense and at the same time it has me feeling really vulnerable.

Which is why when she lifts my face up by the tip of my chin so she can kiss me it’s amazing.

We get back to our room and from there it’s just the basics of getting ready for the show since Carmen is handling our outfits now and we save getting ready until just before the show which keeps us fresher especially after loading and unloading all of our gear and getting things ready.

This way we can do that in our street clothes which are usually stuff that’s easy to work in and change out of.

Which for me is a sleeveless jean top I bought I think at one of the thrift stores and cargo pants. It’s funny it wasn’t until now that I ever wore cargo pants. I love the pockets and I really should have gotten invested in these a lot sooner.

Rayne’s in a Michael Buble tee shirt and old jeans and I like that shirt on her and I didn’t know that she liked his music. It’s so a different genre than rock and roll but he’s melodic and so good really.

It’s not something that I go out of my way to listen to but if he’s on the radio I generally will leave it on.

But she looks really cute like that.

Rayne looks really good either dressed up or when she’s dressed down. It’s like she’s a flower or a jewel and there’s as many things that are as beautiful about her as there are like petals or like facets.

I think that’s the right word.

Maybe I should write something about that or something.

We’re getting our things together with the instruments and we’re still talking and chatting about how cool it was that Rick and his dad and some of the other folks had come over and helped clean up the house and how we turned it into an impromptu breakfast jam and Molly’s talking about how well it’s gone off on the site and that she put up a double link so the vids are on our site but you can see things on the linked site for their Home Hardware store so that’s all good for them and us too.

It’d be really cool if they got some sort of intra-chain award or something like from Home Hardware main office.

Now there’s an Idea…I should like maybe send like a letter.

There’s a rolling growling motorized double purr sound as I look up and see Billy and Davey pulling up on their motorcycles and they’re looking like they’re okay if not carrying two days of scruff on their faces but hey, they’re biker dudes so that sort of comes with the territory I guess.

It looks odd on Davey and patchy since he’s like nordic blonde and it’d take him a lot more than not shaving for a few days for him to get anything that would resemble a beard going. But Billy’s beard is neat to me because he’s pretty much brown haired but there’s some definite reds that are showing in his beard. I’ve no idea how that works or anything.

Then there’s this whole really cute and funny scene where Kimmie is over and she’s playing with Davey’s face fur and she’s cooing and making silly voices saying. “Who’s got a McCauley Culkin face!?”

Which actually has some of us snort including Billy who took a phone picture of it and sent it off somewhere likely to home.

It really fits though in a teasing way if you ever seen the way that the kid from home alone looks nowadays.
It’s that definitely our kind of fun….in our group with the inside jokes and everything.

I smile and give Billy a hug. “How are you guys?”

“We’re okay a bit tired and stuff but we’re okay.”

“And stuff?”

“Hey you’re the one that says that a lot I got it off of you.”

“Yeah okay but stop dodging the question.”

He raises his hands. “Okay, okay…we drove around looking for the two idiots and they know the town better than we do but we found a bunch of places that looked sort of promising for as to where they’re getting their stuff.”

“Promising places?”

“Meth cookers usually like to work in private and they need seclusion because they smell there’s chemicals that they use that stink to high heaven and that’s sort of a give-away and then you got to like look for road access but off the beaten path at the same time.”

“You sound like you know this stuff a lot.”

“There’s lots of unsanctioned cooks and dealers out our way and that’s trouble for everyone.”

I look at him. “I don’t want to know those kinds of details right?”

He shrugs and smiles at me. “It’s best you don’t angel but with stuff with the club there’s a lot of stuff that gets addressed like who sells to who as in no kids and then it’s stuff like territory and keeping the piece as things change and that’s important.”

“It sounds dangerous.”

“It is dangerous, and it’s dangerous here since the others here that Adam brought in well they want this meth in town that we think he’s set up. It’s good stuff quality cook and it will sell if not here than in other places. It’d be a big coup inside the club if they can get ahold of that level of revenue.”

“So what’s going to happen with that and the club? They’re not going to be happy when this goes away.”

“Nope, they’re not but we told them to bug out so there’s a lot of this that’s going to be on them when this busts open.”

“You think you can convince them to leave, maybe tell them that the guy that’s behind all of this is looking like he’s being investigated?”

Billy shakes his head. “One that might tip Adam off if someone says something to him. Two it’s just an investigation one out of a lot that’s been aimed at that family and never went anywhere so they will just look at it as business as usual and keep going anyway?”

I nod a few times. I mean I thought of the first part and it would have been a huge risk but it might have stopped it from getting ugly if things did go bad.

“So what are you going to do?”

“Find the cookhouse still, find it and either get rid of it the hard way or let you know so that you can do your thing.”

“Isn’t that going against the club?”

“Yes and no, there’s folks home that don’t want this branch out here to get ahold of that kind of revenue out here because it would tilt the balance of things between the central and the west and that means a whole new list of club headaches with rivals out here. Then there’s some that will argue it’s a risk we should take and that’s internal stuff that you don’t need to worry about Angel.”

“You’re family Billy I can’t help but to worry about it.”

He kisses me on my forehead. “You’re family Angel which is why you’re staying out of this side of things.”

He looked at me afterwards in that way that said he’s not just saying it to say it but he’s kind of giving me an order.

I sigh and look at him and hold his eyes and I nod. “Okay, but under protest.”

“Protest all you want you’re staying out of this.”

He goes and he shakes hands with Dad as they start getting our things picked up and loaded into the vehicles. I just stand there a few minutes and I watch him and then Davey joining them and I sigh to myself and I go over and hug then lean on Rayne.

She sighs too and hugs me back. “Trouble?”

“Yeah but Billy says it’s not really our business right now.”

She kisses the top of my head. “Maybe it it’s better than it’s not?”

I look up at her and I lean in a little harder and she gives me a tighter squeeze. “Yeah, it sucks but this is a whole lot different than being sneaky and catching Adam. This is bikers and drugs and gangs…I’m just really worried about all of it.”

She nods. “Moi aussi Angèle, moi aussi.”

I know it’s goofy and odd but her saying things like that sort of makes me feel good. Like the little nuzzles and then the bits of French which actually says a lot more I think about how comfortable she is with me than a lot of things.

We both head to the car and get in with the girls and we head off to The Amsterdam and it’s a really good sign to see that we have a continuing crowd from all of the cools tuff this week with the extra press and coverage still lending us some shine to our star power and there’s some folks out there in the parking lot doing the parking lot pre-show smokes before getting in and some are waiting in line and some are actually dance-bopping in line and I can hear them playing tunes on the in house system and it’s piped outside for the people waiting until we’re open and Elton John’s song “Saturday Night’s all right for fighting” can be heard all the way out back.

Josie is there with her vehicle already moved away from the back and she’s unpacked and she’s waiting with a drink by the doors and she’s smiling and she’s even grooving along with the tunes.

She’s smiling at all of us and there’s ready hugs too and she looks happy actually really happy and there’s a flush and it takes zero time after living with the girls and the way there’s this just certain look and an almost chill languidity in her posture.

Excited, happy and yet content.

I hug her and say. “Congratulations.” With what I hope is a knowing smile back to her. We end up going inside with her leading and she’s really beaming.

“Not going to lie girl it’s pretty great, tonight was a next stepper.”

“Next stepper? Well that’s how to put it.”

“Yeah well Jake and I weren’t exactly slow hooking up to start y’know we just clicked but tonight was like the first time we arrived together.”

“Holy cheese that’s fast he stayed over?”

She laughs pretty hard and repeats chuckling “Holy cheese, I like that. But yeah he came home with me last night after everything and we got clear and even if I had to get this stuff out and done he was like there to help along with the new hires.”

Josie does the girl/woman friend arm around the hip thing and we double sway to the tables where the band stuff is at and it’s a whole new set up sort of with a printed plastic table cloth in pink with the SLB logo of the ink-blot spacescape butterfly on it and some of our other stuff but on the wall behind it is a big banner for Graffiti Inc. and some of the stuff that she’s selling and there’s boxes of stuff from ours to hers and they have stickers for the logos of each place.

There’s a sign too that has the online smart phone paying system stuff so people can actually pay with debit cards here for our stuff or a credit card.

And there’s a guy there in his twenties with tattoos and spanners in his ears and he’s dressed in one of our band tees and he’s wearing slacks and a girl there that is a bit heavy set and she has like definite like acne scars and that sort of stocky and plain look in an old Faith No More shirt and baggy cargo pants.

Both look like they’re new to the whole having a job thing or like it’s been awhile since they have had work.

There’s a whole lot with things these days and how anyone between teenaged and early twenties looks but y’know when you’re from places where things are hard you kinda turn out hard, you find things that get you through or like identify with.

And Josie has two new folks here working for her and I shake hands with them both and the guy is looking me over and he’s kind of blushing yet smiling and the girl is kind of like Molly and she’s really shy.

He’s Rory and she’s Jackie and the intros are short and I take some time for a few seconds with Josie to go over the smart phone thing and to sign a few shirts early and I take out the credit card to pay for three of them and those I write the chorus for *Destiny* on them and I head out to the front doors.

I’m not even in costume and make-up yet and I call out to the crowd as I lean out the door and sing, sing it loudly but a melodically as I can to like get everyone’s attention.

“Hey…..yay….every…body!”

There’s yells and whistling and lots of voices yelling out “Angel!”

“How’re you all doing tonight?”

More yells and cheers and more people in the parking lot getting out of their cars and there’s phones flashing pics and I smile.

“We’re here for a good time right!?”

That actually has the crowd of a decent chunk of them call out. “Not a long time!!!”

And I sing back to them up on my tip toes and leaning partway out the door. “Not a looooong time….”

And we both are singing. “So have a good time! The sun can’t shine every day!”

And I do a little musical… “Yay…yay…yay…”

There’s some whistles and more flashes and I take the shirts and have them rolled up and toss them out into the crowd of folks waiting.

“We’re going to be opening up as soon as we can and I gotta go and get ready for the show…But!”

And I pause just for effect. “It’s our neutral country…”

And the regulars are all joining it loudly and it’s getting the crowd pumped up and those not in the know are all doing that oh shit something cool’s going on let me get my phone out.

“IT’S OUR HOME AWAY FROM HOME!”
“IT’S BEERS!”
“IT’S WINGS!”
“SMILES AND DRINKS!”
“AND IT’S ABOUT THE ROCK AND ROLL!!!”
“RAISE YOUR VOICES!”
“RAISE YOUR DRINKS!”
“THE AMSTERDAM! THE AMSTERDAM!, THE AMSTERDAM!”

I’m grinning and shoot them the devil horns and head back inside and there’s whistles and cheers too as I do and I grin at Jake and at the other staff as I head out backstage.

Kimmie is grinning at me and she’s in Carmen’s chair for getting done over for the show and she gives me a thumbs up.

“Got them going eh?”

“It was pretty easy with us still riding the whole thing with the charity bonus spin offs.”

There’s some nods and smiles from the girls and Rayne says. “We put on really good shows while this lasts, we make coming to see us a good thing.”

Brooklyn says smiling as she takes her seat in Carmen’s chair. “Make it so when they think of us playing it’s a good time and that they spread the word.”

We’re getting pretty jazzed up as we’re getting ready and we can hear them opening up out front and there’s noises and the sound of people and we can hear the kitchen staff shouting out the orders as they’re coming in for the bar foods and the bar itself is playing tunes on their system as they’re serving out drinks and they’re doing “The Amsterdam” chant thing that we have going on here now.

I’m going to admit that that feels good to have that being a thing here and that it’s caught on.

It’s just really…well it’s one of those things that you never thought that you’d be able to do yourself or myself because if you were anything like me when I was Jase then you’d have never have thought to have any of the confidence for you to do something like that.

And as I get ready and see myself in the mirror, skinny but with the make-up and the pinked hair and the rocker styled girly band clothes it’s funny.

Because despite the glam, I’m more me than even, more settle in my own skin and actually even with everything else going on I’m happy with my life and excited about tonight.

We finish and we head out to the stage and Mike and Dad and the guys are doing their thing and our stuff’s all set up and we start to tune and do mic checks and Brooklynn does that S&N thing with the roadie skit and it’s the whole check-check, check-check.

And then we start….

“Heeeeeeeeey Pointers!” I yell into the mic.

A large part of the crowd screams. “ROCKS!”

“Pointers…”

“ROCK!”

“Pointers…!”

“ROCK!”

I start playing and bodies start dancing and there’s a cheer as we’re playing and going pretty fast right off from this power start and I am playing along with the girls pretty hard and I side turn and look to each of the girls as I’m playing.

“Ready Brook….?”
She goes… “Uhn…huh…”
“Roxy?”
And she goes “Yeah.”
“Rayne?”
“Okay...”
And then I’m… “Alright ladies…let’s GO!!!”

“It’s been getting so hard living with the things…”
“you do to me…”
(girls)… “uh-huh.”
“My dreams are getting so strange…”
“I’d like to tell you everything I see.”
(girls)… “uh-huh.”

The Brooklynn’s belting out into her mic stepping up. “I see a man in the back!”
“As a matter of fact.”
“And his eyes are as red as the sun!”
“And the girl in the corner let no one ignore her…”
“And she thinks she’s the passionate one!”

And I scream into the mic and lean out towards the stage. “OH…YEEEEAH!”

“It was like Lightning!”
“Everybody was frightening!”
“And the music was soothing…”
“And they all started Grooving!”

And we’re all screaming including the crowd that’s in front of the stage. “YEAH!...YEAH…Yeah, Yeah!”

And then we’re off all of up and again the crowd included singing the chorus of *Bar room Blitz* By Sweet.

It’s that perfect score we’re hitting every note it’s a popular song that everyone knows one way or another it has that whole underpinnings that make a great rock song a great rock song and the crowd went from about forty in front of us to about sixty in that first rush and the ones already here in the front are scream singing along with us and jump dancing and I take us from that right into. *Raise Your Fist* By Starlight Butterfly.

Then we hit them with the strong guitar of AC/DC and *Rock Your Little Heart Out.* always a favorite especially in a place like this and with this mixed crowd.

Classic rock is Classic Rock for good reasons.

Then we go from that and segue into some Joan Jett and her song *AC/DC* which is right in the same wheelhouse but it’s slipping into chick/girl rock and it’s perfect for that whole bump and grind sort of dancing that is so good to have going in a bar.

Then we do *Fortune Favors the Bold* By Starlight Butterfly and then we do one of the ones that I had really planned for tonight that’s a seriously good hardcore sexy bump and grind tune and that’s *Ain’t No Rest For The Wicked.* By Cage The Elephant.

Then another Starlight Butterfly song. *Keep the Faith* which is good and rocking and sort of in that anthem rock flavor that goes oh so well with what we’re playing tonight. We keep it up too with us drifting into *Who’d Ever Think* By Starlight Butterfly and *Don’t wanna* By Starlight Butterfly for us giving them three of our songs in a row while they’re pumped and dancing.

Then it’s back to covers and we do *These Boots are made for walking* but the sort of kind of Jessica Simpson popularized version but we cover it in a way more like what Joan Jett and The Blackhearts would do.

And then for a good fun dancing song but an older Canadian band we play *General Handgrenade* By Trooper and that’s got that very sort of sixties to seventies rock fun and funk to it that makes the song so very much fun to play and sing and dance to.

And that gives just the right bit of mood play to have us slide into doing *Boots of Chinese Plastic* By Chrissie Hynde. That’s a good song, that’s a fun song actually and she’s such a rocking person.

The we hit them with some more Joan Jett and *I Love Rock and Roll* which is that popular that the women in the place are singing along right from the start and clapping and stomping too right in time with the beat of the song.

And from that into another burst of Canadiana with *Life is a Highway* By Tom Cochrane and that’s a favorite with this crowd too and with people in that whole old school rock genre that has this whole Canadian feel with stuff like this. It’s that kind of like I said Ontario radio station rock that I heard all of my life on the like old stations and not all of the newer digital stuff.

Then the last song from our first set is *Rock this Joint.* By Alana Myles and a firmly set old school girl/woman rocker that is still sort of semi popular to this day and we finish with that and we stop and I do a bit of a guitar bow with the girls and step up to the mic.

“We’re going to take our break now and have a little bit to eat of the absolutely kick booty food The Amsterdam’s got going on here tonight and give you all a chance to do the same and have a few drinks before we come back and rock your socks off!”

There’s cheers and camera flashes and we all set our stuff down and head backstage for our first break.

We get out back and it’s the usual bit with going to the bathroom as we get water into us and then getting cleaned up and wiped down. You sweat a lot under the lights and add in that we’re up on the stage higher than everyone else and all the dancing and all of the activity from playing you both really end up needing to go to the bathroom and getting pretty dehydrated as well.

We’re actually getting better at this with Carmen passing out Clean and Clear make-up wipes for us and we do the fast wipe off and wash out faces and other places and get dried off as the food arrives from the kitchen.

Fries and shakes as usual along with my green tea with honey and lemon for my throat. No I’m not sick but taking good rest care of your singing voice is kind of key. I actually have read a lot about it and stuff.

The rest of the food is good and Jake’s really getting into it like Mr. Walker is and while this isn’t a tapas it’s new styled bar food with sliders and onion rings and really good fries and other things.

Like the slider I’m eating isn’t actually a hamburger it’s a fillet round of beef sliced and grilled medium rare on a small bun with fancy mayo and mustard but with crispy fried onions and the kicker is this hot sauce and roasted red and chili pepper apple jelly.

It’s small and three bites and it’s gone plus it’s a little messy in a good way and it’s got about a hundred different flavors that are all really great and then there’s the heat and the sweet and you kind of really want more.

They’d sell really well I think, actually from what I can tell small food sells well with the girls because it’s small doses and that seems to not seem so daunting? I don’t know all I know is I had to move fast to get my second one and I grab a handful of fries and head out front to talk and mingle with folks.

There’s cheers and some camera flashes from folks when I do and I hold my steak/tenderloin slider up for people to see me have and then I have some of it as I make my way to the stuff for our sales table and talking to fans in between bites and pictures that I’m taking with them and introducing myself and actually remembering names.

I’m really happy about that too since I’m seeing some of these same people a lot these nights and they’re usually with the same friends and that helps me remember them too.

And that makes them happy.

And if I can’t remember names I do remember some other things like outfits or purses or when someone’s make-up that other night was particularly “on” that night.

And I try and remember the names that are new and I’m getting introduced to. I do that by repeating their names as we talk. That and I pick out one feature that sort of stands out that I match to their name or like try to.

By the time I get to the sale’s table Rayne’s there with me and Brooklyn and Kimmie are out as well with their make-up off and they’re talking to fan while getting more fries and sharing them out and having their own conversations.

Dad smiles at me and so does Billy who’s keeping a sort of crowd control type of thing which isn’t really a thing but it’s keeping folks from pushing and all which is helping out a whole lot actually.

I sit with Dad and we hug and we’re talking to the fans and I’m signing things and Rayne is signing things for people and she’s getting names down too and she’s doing something that I can’t do and that’s talking to some of the fans that we have that are in from out of town that speak French. I mean we hear the accent and then they’re off and I think that there’s some differences since Rayne speaks Metis/Western French and I think that we have a sort of Quebecois French here or Algonquin French?

I have like non-French immersion French so I’m kind of lost with it but it’s actually very cool to see her getting to do this and that from what I can tell they’re actually here to see her.

Because she talks to her fans that are our online fans from French places and even text/types with them and that’s again pretty cool.

And some of these fans are actually here as part of their Toronto weekend and they are here for the night and are heading back to Toronto with friends tonight and then back to Quebec sometime Sunday.

I talk things over with Rayne as we head backstage to get our hair and our make-up redone and I have a few swallows of juice and finish my tea and have another fast potty break before we head back out to play.

The crowd knows the notes and the song because well most folks do and the dance people all sort of come out in front of the stage as we’re cranking out the guitar for *You Really Got Me.* By The Kinks.

Actually we do a doubled up version with me singing the song and as soon as I’m done Raven sings it again with her sort of sexy deeper notes almost in that growl-purr thing that she does but she sings right behind me in French.

That’s actually not stopping the locals from digging it and it’s definitely a thing that has our French fans actually dancing and screaming for us.

“Ess-Elle-Bei! Ess-Elle-Bei! Ess-Elle-Bei!”

We go from that to Brooklyn going heavy into the opening riffs along with me for *Shake My Tree* By Coverdale and Page with Raven actually using her awesome deeper voice range for the vocals.

It’s a really good tune, decent lyrics and just amazing guitar to be honest and that guitar is what has them going and moving and grooving to that heavy pulse that comes with the opening for the song.

Going with that vibe we slip into *Heavy Fuel* By Dire Straits next and that’s old school rock too with good guitar and it’s actually a really decent sort of rock meets drinking kind of tune.

Perfect for here and this crowd actually.

Just like doing *Razzmatazz* By Nazareth.

And then some good rock and roll dance fun with AC/DC’s *Whole Lotta Rosie*

Then *Come on feel the Noise.* By Slade.

And then to fun it up we do some Doctor and the Medics and *Spirit in the Sky* yeah I know that’s not who originally did it but it’s the version that we like and that we settled on. It’s a fun song too with an older rock meets funk really early hair band sort of thing and it’s actually pretty fun to dance to and to sing.

Keeping with the fun we cover *Oh Love* By Greenday.

*Not Fade Away* By Buddy Holly which is mostly for me. I like the song I think it has great Amsterdam bar kind of classic appeal to it and it’s very classic and with this mixed crowd they like classic and I can see that a lot of the fans and the dancing bunch don’t know it but they’re very much going with it and they’re dancing and they’re having a good time.

And it’s really, really a perfect song for us to slide into our cover of *Handle with Care* By The Travelling Willbury’s.

Honestly there’s not enough good things that can be said about this song and about that band. A lot of people are in that mixed group of knowing the song and only sort of knowing the song and we hit this one right out of the park.

Raven does this incredible sort of K.D. Lang vocals that takes Roy Orbison’s place and I’m doing George Harrison’s parts and Brooklyn and Roxy are doing the back-up vocals as well all join together and people are up and dancing from both sections of the major age groups here.

Once we’re done that it’s actually been about an hour with the songs and the instrumental stretches and I step up to the mic and smile at everyone and Mike switches the lights and I let my guitar dangle from my strap and take the mic stand in both hands and start to sing *Carousel* By Starlight Butterfly.

And that starts the slow dancing and a few more people get up from the older set and some of the others are partnering off and there’s some of the singles that aren’t with anyone are closer to the stage and doing the dance slowly sway with the music thing.

When I’m done Raven steps over to the mic and she starts to sing *Billy Holiday* By Starlight Butterfly and just like most of the times that she sings it she’s singing it and she’s looking at me as she’s doing that too.

I stay close to her as she’s singing that and sort of hold myself through my guitar with both hands and it pressed to my body like it’s a self-hug and I literally almost tune everyone else out while I’m watching her sing to me and there’s her…the way she looks and the way that she’s dressed and her make-up…no, not really the make-up but all of it and the way that her eyes just look so deep and soulful.

When she’s done I really can’t help it but I step up to her and the mic stand and lean up and I kiss her right there in front of everyone and she’s kissing me back and it’s soft and it’s slow and sweet and we’re not like making out but it’s a really serious kiss.

There’s definitely a sort of mixed reaction with the ages of folks here but it’s also not like we’re a secret either.

So if there was anyone shocked it didn’t come up or it was drowned out by the whistles and all of the camera flashes.

And more than a few pro-us shouts and screams.

Our girl fans, our lesbian fans that are here or at least them and anyone else that’s really into us because of our LGBTQAI+ factor are definitely shipping us.

I break the kiss and stay close to her and I start to sing *Drops of Jupiter* By Train and definitely put a bit of close and sexy serenade feeling into it before we move apart and get into the groove of that song but we’re still pretty close.

And from that we go into *Everything* By Starlight Butterfly which still fits the mood just really, really well and the whole slow dancing swaying feeling and there’s more camera flashes and there’s some lighters going up and phone too with the light screen or even that whole lighter image app thingy.

Then we go into *Forever and Always* By Starlight Butterfly and that’s a lot of our stuff in a row which they definitely like and have zero problems dancing to and it’s a really great feeling too as we go from that into *Tender Years* By John Foggarty and the Beaver Brown Band and that’s good dance music too for the whole slow dancing thing.

It’s a whole great feeling going on right now as we play through our second break or what would have been our second break with us playing. *One More Day* By Brett Michaels and that’s almost borderline country and then from that one into *Drift Away* By Uncle Kracker which is a really decent song actually and likely the best thing they’ve ever done in my opinion but we do that and then Raven sings *Every Rose has it’s Thorn* By Poison which is a really popular song and I smile at her and give her a nod and she goes into *Open Arms* By Journey but this one she does in French which actually has the girls that came here really doing the swoon cry and call out.

Okay we’ve never done that before and it sounds really different but it’s pretty cool at the same time actually and it’s going to hopefully win us a few more fans maybe in a few other places?

And the regulars don’t seem to mind it either which is a bonus too. But the music is pretty iconic as is the melody so the slow dancers are dancing to it anyways.

And they stay dancing as she keeps going with her doing the vocals and she starts to croon *Black Velvet* By Alana Myles. I really like it when she does that song because she does that croony sexy voice so well and I like it because too of the guitar which Brooklyn is doing and there’s this sort of really good jazz-rock-country drum work there too and that just really rounds out that song so well for me.

She finishes that and I go into doing *Tingle* By Starlight Butterfly and then from there I lead us into *Everything I own* By Bread and from that into doing a slowed down and softer version of *Please Don’t Go* By Starlight Butterfly.

And I go from that into one of my little favorites By Bon Jovi which is perfect for the crowd tonight and that’s *Thank You for Loving Me.*

And yeah, of yeah I’m turning with the mic stand so I can see Raven and I’m singing that to her and she’s dance swaying it this time it’s her doing that guitar self-hug while she’s watching me and it’s really, really good.

And when I’m close to getting done she’s walking over to me and the mic stand and when I’m letting the song trail to a finish this time it’s her kissing me.

And she’s taller than me especially in her boots and her hand has come up gently under my chin and tilting my head up and there’s a kiss, a long slow sweet kiss.

And it scrambles my head in a good way.

We break it and there’s some more cheers and some applause and I lean to the mic.

“We’re going to take our last break and when we come back we’ll be playing the requests for you all. Now’s the time to get to the bar, to get some more of this absolutely amazing food they’ve got going on tonight and we’ll be back!”

Jake’s not long in getting going to the bar and the kitchen and there’s definitely a rush for things going on as well as there’s a definite line for the bathrooms too since it’s definitely been awhile and I smile to see a line as well at our sales table.

Dad and Josie and her protégé’s are doing a lot of business again tonight especially with the whole emotional charge left over I think by Raven and I with the second half.

We get out back and it’s the semi sort of rush to the bathroom again for us and Kimmie’s first and the Brooklyn and I’m actually pretty good with waiting especially since Rayne leans me up against the partition in the wall and she kisses me again and this time because we’re a little more private she’s doing the tongue swirly thing again that makes my skin just hum and has me breathless in the best of ways and aching with feelings.

I kiss her back and as the bar bumps up the house music so there’s not really a lull I drape my arms up over her shoulder while I do and we kiss and then we slowly start dancing together.

We break the kiss and I look at her. “You’re in a really good mood tonight.”

“It’s been a good night chere, the boys are back and safe pretty much and you’re just amazing with keeping us going and just things being on track and being fun…and tonight just felt like really fun, us the fans us and the chemistry tonight.”

I kiss her again smiling. “Thet chemistry is pretty spot on tonight.”

“Mmm….hmmm…”

We kiss a little more and then Rayne’s hands actually slip down my sides to my waist and her fingers play around there some and then she slides her hand over my hips and down to my bottom and she gives it a rub in this very sexy, very yay manner before she cups my butt and she just gets really into kissing me.

My brain is going sexy naughty places with this too and at the same time it’s really flattering and cool that she’s into my body, well not just into my body like that but that she finds me attractive.

I’m still getting used to the sex stuff and where we’ve been going.

There’s that whole physical logistics thing with my anatomy and then there’s that whole mental line that hasn’t stopped me that much but when she wears her toy and we… there’s something that’s literally been socially coded with stuff like that and my naked self.

But it’s just a speed bump.

And considering it all I was a virgin until well meeting Rayne and it takes time to actually know what you’re doing with someone else.

I actually read that in a short story online somewhere that it’s not perfect each and every time that there’s all these things that go wrong that we need to know about our lovers and even just getting into a rhythm with them so it’s good.

And good is actually great since perfect is actually fictional.

And speed bumps and after feelings and all it’s been pretty damned good really.

Enough that I kiss Rayne back really softly but passionately and actually butt lean into her grip and let her take some of my weight.

And she does, and it’s such a feeling really.

I never enjoyed being me, being skinny as heck and that sick kid. Even when I wasn’t sick the whole after it all had me just too thin for most girls to think of me as anything but nope and the assholes and bullies see me as an easy target.

With Rayne I don’t have that feeling, that edge of self-consciousness that I had all the time and for a while now I’ve been liking myself more than not.

I like feeling like…well me and me’s the smaller and kinda more girlie of the two of us.

We get to the bathroom and it’s still a little bit more necking and really doing a number on our make-up and our lipstick in particular before we separate enough for us to actually use the bathroom and get washed up and unstinkied and this time since it’s the last part of the show well there’s a little bit more deodorant and a little bit of perfume.

I actually myself like Secret spray and I use the baby powder scented stuff and for my perfume I actually use Juicy and I use it sparingly because it’s nice but it’s still pretty potent stuff and it’s also expensive even if I got the bottle I have on sale at Shoppers Drug Mart I’ll look odds are for something else after this is gone because I’m not going to pay the full price for it.

We’re out and there’s milkshakes waiting for us from Jake and they’re coffee and malt? It’s not chocolate either but they’re really good and it had a heck of a ping to it with the sugar and coffee and I see Max here having gotten here at one point and he looks like he just got off of work and he’s sitting and talking with Kimmie and they’re sharing the shake and she’s holding up a basket of fries as he’s actually rubbing her shoulders and her upper arms and she’s looking really happy he’s here and that he’s doing that.

I’m soooo doing a mental happy dance for her and him right now.

I get in the chair and Carmen does her thing with fixing my hair and re-doing my make-up and it’s not as heavy this time and then it’s Rayne’s turn and we also swap out some of our clothes changing actually into our favorite band shirts and I snag a few fries and finish one of my bottles of water and we head out from out back and to the stage with there being some cheers from the crowd and whistles as well as applause.

Then they notice Roxy and Max kissing at the top of the stage stairs and she’s giving him a really long and serious kiss which has them hooting and hollering.

And right after that she bounces over to the drums and she starts fast drumming and it’s not rehearsed as she pulls her mic over and we back her as she starts to drum and play and sing *Magical Power Panties.* By Starlight Butterfly.

We finish that up and I step to the mic.

“Okay that was for Max and Janie and we’re now taking requests so wadda you want to hear!?”

There’s a lot of songs being yelled out and I point my mic at a girl off to the side when she shouts out. *Walk like an Egyptian.* By The Bangles.

And the request start to get called out and we do. *Soul Sister* By Train and after that one we do *Who You Are* By Jessie J. both of which are old standby covers for us and after that I slip in one for us just to mix things up some more and play *Don’t Wanna* By Starlight Butterfly and then we’re asked to do right after that. *Raise your Glass* By Pink.

Then they ask for *Tingle* to be played again By Starlight Butterfly which was kind of nice since it’s still pretty new for us and then they start asking for *Invisible* a whole lot since we haven’t played it yet tonight and there’s calls for that and for *Oncology* as well and We end up laying both of those back to back and yeah of course both of those are By Starlight Butterfly.

We’re sort of getting ready to wind it down when Raven steps into taking the mic and she says. “I’m going to do a personal request from me for Angel and it’s a cover that I’ve wanted to do for a while.”

I know the song as soon as I hear the opening chords and Raven is holding the mic stand and the mic close to her and she starts to croon into it. *Angel Eyes* By Jeff Healy.

And the lights went dim except for the ones on us and the crowd is swaying back and forth and there’s lighters and cameras and smartphones out and when they get to the chorus they’re all singing along with it.

I’m trying, trying really hard not to go into the whole girl crying place because this is so really cool.

Nope, yeah there’s happy tears.