Jem… Chapter 120

 

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Author's Note: Picture used with permission from *lavonia on deviantart.

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Chapter 120
 

Chapter 120

*Before…

It’s dark and it’s sort of quiet and sort of not when we’re finally out of the bathroom and there’s music coming from all three of the other bedrooms and it’s not hard to hear Mike and Brooklyn making love and I think I hear Carmen and Molly who’s apparently sleeping over tonight and there’s the sound of Rush playing in Kimmie’s room and the flickering lights of her TV set from under the door and Dad and the others might have left.

I smile at Raine and we slip downstairs and check the doors and I clean up a bit of the stuff for the kitchen and beat together some egg-scramble mixture and put it in a bowl overnight and Rayne slipped down to the basement and slipped a load of wash on so it’s be done and ready tomorrow to hang outside.

We meet up maybe thirty minutes later and kiss and slip our hands into each other’s and just sort of have this silent dance together in the empty hall downstairs before we head upstairs and settle into bed with each other.
You know I thought when we started this living in the same room and being in the same bed I’d have trouble falling asleep.
It’s actually kind of the opposite. (Smiles and falls asleep.)

*And Now…

There’s really nothing like the feeling of sleeping with someone.

There’s touches, and being held in these little things while you sleep, the feeling of fingers touching, sliding over your sides or the small of your back and then there’s the body of the other person, their heat and softness and their scent.

If I wasn’t asleep for a lot of it I’d be crying because I’m happy and so no longer lonely.

And dream…oh yeah sometimes those dreams.

Being happy and whole, sometimes sexy dreams.

It’s just like scenes of getting out of bed naked and just being me, not that I don’t think I’m the sort that would sleep without underpants off unless it’s like after you know…

But it’s such a nice feeling dreaming that way and everything in its right way and nothing jarringly out of place and just doing normal stuff…real breasts instead of inserts and the silicone and just going topless around the girls and braless just whenever and not having to worry for good or like bad.

And well of course there’s sexy dreams that come out of that with Rayne and I doing things like the dishes and one thing leads to a soap other and we go from that to her picking me up with that whole ballet lift like move and setting me on the counter of the kitchen and up comes my skirt and…

Well I’m extrapolating the whole thing from the things that I know and the things that I can imagine and the things that we’ve done and it’s so…so…so…

(Gasp…) My eyelids flutter open and okay it was me…my hand down there fingers stroking well the tippy part like it was….

I pop.

I roll and bury my face into my pillow and try to muffle the sounds and when I pull my face up and out Rayne’s there looking at me with this sexy and amused smile with her hair doing that bed tousled thing and she raises an eye brow.

“Interesting dream?”

“I…uhm…” I feel heat rush to my face and bury my face back into the pillow.

She laughs and she rubs my back. “Angel it’s okay, people do that…hell I do that.”

“You do?”

“Yes.”

“Was I good?” I lift my face out part way to look at her.

“Yes, very was I?”

I look her in the eyes and it’s all so fresh there and I nod. “You were amazing, you’re always amazing.”

She blinks but it’s a pleased blink and she slips closer to me and she slides her hand over my waist.

It’s a shivering good thing.

“So did we?”

I’m not too sure of what she was wondering and I don’t want to like think that she thinks that I was thinking about her and I and my bit down there so I roll over more to face her and I tell her about what I was dreaming, even the non-sexy bits.

And she tells me about some of the things that she has had dreams about…

Us naked and it’s always with me being like the me that I’ll eventually be but there’s this whole one where we have the house to ourselves and we we’re playing downstairs and it’s summertime and it’s hot and sweaty and there’s us kissing and then there’s icy cold bottles of water and chill play and water drip play.

The image of hot summer sweaty skin and her nipples and that bead of water slipping off of the plastic water bottle and off it to splash down onto het nipple all icy cold and the crinkle.

And then there’s the bass guitar dream…it’s like that naked girl with the cello thing where the vibes do all the work only she’d holding me and she’s the one playing and I’m the one that’s getting…

Honestly sex talk for me has always mentally been like that sex dirty talk.

My brain never really came up with the scenario where two people in love would just talk about and share their fantasies about bed stuff.

And we’re not having sex either but theirs is a lot of heavy petting and kissing and just those personal touches during the whole thing and that’s just as good.

It’s just amazing to not be going flat out right now like we have been and like we’re going to be with everything.

Thursday night back at Lucky’s and another Sunday gig at Ace’s comics now that it’s the after Turkey day weekend.

Today’s our only day off this week and that’s because it’s the holiday technically and Rayne doesn’t have to work today at Wally-world because of that and I am going to try and relax today.

She kisses me. “What are you thinking about now?”

“Relaxing actually, taking the day for ourselves.”

“Oh that sounds nice, like what?”

I smile at her. “Breakfast or a massage.”

“Massage.” And she said it so fast that it makes me laugh out loud.

“Okay got it, but coffee?”

“Hmmm…okay.”

“Good I’ll get the coffee and you put on some music.”

We share this long sweet kiss and I head first to the bathroom and do a quick clean up wash and brush my hair and get into a new pair of panties and a clean tee-shirt one of the bigger sizes of the band tee’s and then I head downstairs and there’s the slight smell of sex in the air as well as incense from one of the rooms and some girl’s body spray and it’s all faint and sort of muted together like it was done after everyone did their things and I smile.

It’s a good thing that everyone had some sexy times and stuff, we’re always doing so much stuff that sometimes it feels like things are happening so fast.

I get out the coffee and I get it going and I get two of our biggest deep mugs and I run water in them and pop them into the microwave and then get a spoon and the bottle of Dulce de leche out and the cream.

See a hot mug is hotter coffee for longer and I use the Dulce which is condensed milk that’s been cooked in the can until it becomes this milky caramel instead of the sugar. It give it this sweet but not too sweetness along with a caramel undertone to the coffee and I finish it with just a little bit of cream and I put things away and I head upstairs.

Oh…oh well I wasn’t expecting some of this older stuff to be playing.

Greenbaum’s version of *Spirit in the sky* and I slip inside and I move or try to in my spazzy way of like that whole sixties and seventies sort of go-go dancing but trying not to spill our coffees and Rayne’s giving me that happy smile and she’s brushed her hair some and straighten but not made the bed and she’s got her glasses on.

It’s one of those loving her just because moments really.

I give Rayne her coffee and she takes it and she does that long grateful sip thing and I do the same but it’s still sort of me doing that mental soft-wow at watching her do even that.

I mean come on a tall raven haired woman with long hair and those sexy dark glasses drinking coffee and in just her panties.

Sometimes just that simple beauty she has catches me.

I set my coffee down on the nightstand and smile. “Roll over.”

She sets her’s down and she lips further back onto the bed pulling me to her by the tee-shirt. “I love this you know?”

“Me too.”

“This time, the shirt…I know it’s weird but the fact you’re wearing one of our band shirts and that we actually are where we have band shirts and then there’s just all of this and everything else…I love you Angel.”

Okay I’m smiling like a fool but blushing a little too and I let her pull me onto our bed and I lean down and I kiss her really softly but really slowly. “I love you too Rayne.”

There a few more sweet silky kisses before we get to where she’s rolled over and I’m giving her a massage and I’m straddling her and it’s all sort of yay sexy and touch personal but I’m actually trying to actually give her a massage and we’re sipping at coffee and talking about stuff like the new office and what we’ll need for that and maybe fixing up the basement too some and maybe getting Dad or someone to come and take a look at the furnace and the vents and all the stuff that we should do to get ready for winter.

Which includes us getting things like winter tires for the van and Brooklyn’s car.

And well there’s the Lucky’s play list and what we should do for the gig at Ace’s and what we should do maybe for Halloween which is on a Sunday this year so that might mean us doing special stuff for our shows at The Amsterdam.

And yeah it’s sort of work but it’s also our life and it’s making plans.

And I know that sometimes making plans is sort of an iffy thing but at the same time it’s kind of like brainstorming off of each other and it’s sharing dreams with each other.

It’s something great actually.

Something that I never thought that I’d get to do with someone really.

I mean like the whole Jase isolation was kind of this thing where knowing people or getting close to them in the wake of Adam and company was kind of something that was likely only ever going to happen if I ever like really, really got away from Harper’s Point.

So right now my life, my real life as Angel is so much different than I ever expected even if it’s in all these small little ways.

And we do take turns.

Rayne is really, really perfect for this I think. One she’s done this before and then feeing on her hands on my shoulders right up and around the collar bones is amazing and she then does this thumb pushing kneading thing at the base of my neck and up and then there’s this whole feeling on her on me straddling me and her weight which isn’t bad but solid in a good way and her body heat too’s amazing.

And in all honesty. “This is amazing.”

Rayne purrs almost. “You like?”

I sigh. “I love this it feels sooo amazing, I’ve never had a massage before or tried to give one both are firsts.”

“Good…y’know I did this with Summer right?”

“I figured.”

“That okay?”

“Sure…hon, you two have a history…you two did things and there’s absolutely no point in stopping to do something that You actually like and enjoy just because it was something that came from your relationship.”

“I’m…I’m just never really sure.”

“I’d never put you in that kind of a place.”

“Some of the girls…some of the people I seen after her well they kind of didn’t want to hear anything about Summer.”

I roll us over and then I roll some more so we’re both looking at each other.

“Look does I like her? Fuck no, I think Summer’s a pretty messed up and pretty awful person. Do I think that you shouldn’t talk about her or think back to when you two were together?
No I don’t. She was a huge part of your life and I want to know all those parts of your life even when she was in them.”

She leans in and she kisses me. “I love that about you, I love that you make me feel safe.”

I softly kiss her back. “You know that I can say the same thing to you.”

She blushes and smiles but we look into each other’s eyes and there’s just this… getting it? Y’know it’s that I don’t need to have the puffy ego in making her feel safe because I know where it’s coming from and what she meant by it and she has the same thing going on about it with me.

It’s emotional safety for both of us, it’s safety in actually feeling and being loved, it’s her being this kind of the physically strong one and sheltering me from Adam but it’s also her being her and letting me have the security to be me…a very kind of girly and not being one of those “top” kind of people and then there’s me and my plans and being stable compared to how she’s lived and loving her and all of those things that we have going on.

It’s that actual lesbian in love moment thing when no one is more of anything that the other and yet we just fit so well into the nooks and crannies and parts of one and other that it’s…that it’s a kind of breathtaking way on being in a relationship.

And it’s kind of super-yay’s when I can feel it when Rayne’s kissing me this time that it’s all sinking into place past all the trans stuff that yeah…I admit that I’m a girl and yet I’m even still more of a girl than what I’m saying.

That leads to some serious making out right up until we can hear music playing over ours from downstairs as Brooklyn’s cranking out the guitar and she’s even singing too as she is kind of doing this Lita Ford sounding version of *Shake My Tree.* By Coverdale & Page.

We even grin at each other. “Well they’re up now.” Rayne says.

I nod. “We might as well too.”

“We could just stay in bed?”

“Honestly?”

Rayne nods. “Always.”

“It’d likely drive me bananas.”

She grins at me. “I know it would.”

We get up and I just slip into my bran and inserts and put the same tee-shirt I was just wearing back on and a pair of my Roots sweatpants and Rayne goes for a thick set of grey leggings and my Hamilton Steelheads jersey and we head down stairs to join the others.

Brooklyn and Kimmie are rocking away and just doing it because. It’s one of the things really when you live with musicians and that’s we play. We play stuff we don’t perform and we just do it because we like the music or the tune or the challenge of something.

I see Carmen outside having a smoke and a coffee and Mike’s actually cleaning gear in the living room and Molly’s freshly showered looking and she’s wearing what I think is one of Mike’s shirts and a pair of sweatpants and she’s nursing her coffee.

She looks still very pretty but very different than usual without her make-up on that I’m used to seeing her with.

She looks at me and she does this little smile into her mug and she’s blushing.

I smile and stop and look at her as I lean against the other side of the doorway to the living room. “I see you found the coffee.”

“Yeah, uhm thanks for letting me stay over.”

“Hey, that wasn’t up to me that’s between you and Carmen.”

She blushes. “I…I wow I wasn’t expecting this to happen.”

I nod. “It can crash into you out of the blue sometimes.”

“I’ve never…”

“Really?”

“Well I have…but Carmen’s never so I kind of had to.”

“Oh…you’re the more experienced lover then?”

She nods. “I mean I guess Carmen’s been around and stuff but it’s different than that.”

“You okay?”

She looks at me blushing. “It’s been awhile and like I said I’ve never been the doer just the dooee.”

“But was it a good thing?”

Molly nods. “I think it might be. I kind of want it to be.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“I’ve been nothing but horrible at the whole just a pick up and the whole one night stand stuff Angel.”

I nod. “I’ve never, I’ve only been with Rayne.”

“Really?”

I nod. “And I’m not really looking for anyone else.”

She actually smiles. “Y’know for a rocker girl and a business girl that kind of like breaks all sorts of the stereotypes about being a girl and stuff you kind of fit a lot of things too with how sort of old fashioned you are.”

I shrug. “I just try to be me.”

“Well you being you is actually pretty awesome.” She actually gives me a hug. “Thanks.”

“For?”

“For the chance, for the chances that came with that chance and just for being a decent person y’know.”

I blush a little but hug her back. “Well like I said you’re pretty awesome too Molly and you had our back before we got hired with the videos and stuff so it’s all good.”

She nods and she looks at Carmen who just came in and she looks…good and bad?

I ask Carmen. “You okay?”

“Cleaning out my system. It’s been awhile since I had anything now and it’s starting to hit.”

“Oh shit is there anything I can do to help?”

“Just be there? I mean I don’t think that I’ll like go running out to get a fix or anything but I might slip into feeling shitty and being a cranky uber bitch so…apologies in advance?”

“Would a hug help?”

“No…but maybe a cuddle?” she actually looks at Molly who actually doesn’t seemed freaked by this part of things and she goes over and she takes Carmen’s hand and walks her over to the couch and slips onto it with her and she does the whole cuddle and hold thing.

Sigh…I feel for Carmen right now and I head into the kitchen to get another coffee and Rayne’s making more and I look at her. “Carmen’s going through the shakes and stuff I think.”

She nods. “I can only imagine what’s going on under the surface of all of Adam’s bullshit.”

I go over and hug her and lean on her. “Yeah…hopefully we can help stop whatever he’s been doing with these girls and stuff. He’s…he’s a sociopath and I want this done y’know?”

She nods. “Me too but right now we stay under his radar, we keep Carmen under his radar until the Mounties build their case. We really don’t need him losing his shit before all of that.”

I nod. “He’s scary and I sort of grew up with him. He’s a violent asshole when he thinks he can get away with it and if he’s mad…and I mean really mad. I don’t know what he’d do.”

Rayne hugs me. “Like other than pull strings and hire bikers and firebomb Mike’s car and your Dad’s house.”

I nod. “Exactly and on the scale of fucking with Adam it was pretty low stuff compared to what we’re trying to do.”

She turns us and she leans me against the counter then she does that ballet pick me up and sets my bum on the counter top and she steps in between my legs and she does a little tip-toey thing and she kisses me.

My mind’s already in the squee feel oh this is from my dream thing and it’s also going into this safe warm place too as she’s doing a really, really good job at kissing me.

“He’s not going to hurt you Angel, I won’t let him.”