Jem...Chapter 86

I look at her and I know I’m giving her this whole evil look because I’m really not in a good mood despite what I was told. The pain killer stuff is wearing off and I swear it’s giving me a hangover and my one boy bit is feeling swollen and it hurts and all of that is making me cranky and nauseous.

And she’d chewing on her lips so not as to laugh at me. While I’m sort of doubled over in the passenger seat with every bump being ow and threatening to make me want to barf.

“It’s not funny.”

“No, it’s not…it looks like it hurts.”

“It does.”

“Kind of like cramps huh?”

“No…that’s not fair I can’t have those so you don’t get to play that card with me okay.”

“Angel…”

“No…”

I cross my arms under my fake boobs and that just sort of tops my mood off the whole fact that I’m…I’m hurting and frustrated and it hurts…it hurts inside since not just what Dr. Vetter told me…that I’m PAIS which means that part of me kind of sort of was supposed to be a girl and I got screwed out of that too and had to live as someone that I wasn’t.

Rayne’s looking at me and she keeps driving but she gets quiet too and tense and it’s just pure shit for the rest of the drive to Wally-World.

She doesn’t get my door and she’s already walking across the parking lot ahead of me and I’m sore enough that I can’t keep up.

“Rayne dammit slow down!”

She gives me a dirty look and…

“What!” I ask her a little loudly.

“Fuck you.”

“What!”

“Fuck you Angel, you don’t ever get to tell me or anyone else that we don’t get the right to bitch and talk about stuff that’s going on with our bodies!”

“No?! Why so I get to be the odd girl out and you get to rub my face in the fact that that might be something that oh so fucking bad to you but someone like me would be fine with even fucking happy about!”

“I don’t care! You don’t have the right, my body my period my right!”

“What about my rights huh?!”

“Aaugh fucking guys…” She doesn’t yell that but hisses it at me.

She storms off and so do I.

Fuck her and fuck Wally-World, I can get what I need somewhere else!

My hurt, my body hurt is still lingering but the whole butt-hurt I had and everything is settling down and the whole thing of her and I having a screaming match in the parking lot is setting in and I’m starting to get the shakes and I’m starting to cry after a couple of blocks.

Fucking guys…

Me…

Yeah…

And my coat is in the van and its fall so it’s cool and damp and I’m really not dressed for it and I feel as miserable as I’ve ever felt back in school.

My phone rings twice and it’s Rayne and I turn my phone off.

I’m hurt, I’m hurt in a way that I don’t think that I’ve been hurt before and just seeing her name there has me starting to tear up again.

I get to this pharmacy and get my scripts filled and I find another store here in town where I buy some damned panties and pull the first pair on…unwashed out of the package and I stuff the rest in my purse and I head for the highway.

And yeah I start hitching a ride back to Harper’s Point.

I really should have bought some Kleenex too.

Thankfully it doesn’t rain or anything like that which was good considering I’m still cold from the amount of clothes that I’m not wearing and I’m a little surprised at how many people actually stop to offer me a ride.

After a few of the ones that I turned down because I was sort of creeped out about something or just scared of something about them I stop hitching and I just sort of watch and trudge and still two more guys at least twice my age slow down and offered me rides.

They didn’t seem dangerous-dangerous but very much like the kind of guys that’d perv on a girl and pull something like that whole… Cash, gas or ass thing and then try to collect once I was in there.

I really had no idea just how many perverts there were out there.

I do end up taking a ride from a woman who was headed my way and had a mini-van with a couple of kids inside headed to Harper’s Point because we have a Cost Co.

She actually even drops me off at the house.

“Thank’s Mrs. Sinclair.”

“No problem sweetie you and her should patch things up it’s not that big a fight.”

I had ended up talking to her and gave her them sort of impression that I wasn’t able to have kids like other girls and that we had a fight over that…

“I know it’s just I thought that of all the people that she’d…that she’d be different.”

“Oh Angel it’s going to happen, we’re all assholes sometimes and sometimes it just comes out in the moment whether we mean to or not and it’s worse when we’re girls.”

(Sniffle.) “Worse?”

“We don’t really hammer it out like guys and fight but it’s all words and other stuff so when we fight we fight dirty…it’s just how it goes sometimes…especially when we’re screaming at another girl.”

“So what do I do?”

“Honestly wait until she comes home and wing it, you should apologize to each other, life’s too short to let these things hurt for too long.”

“I’ll try… (Sniffle) …thanks again…”

“No problem sweetie call me sometime and let me know how this went okay?”

(Sniffle.) “Okay…”

I head inside and limp upstairs because I have a bit of a blister on my heel from my shoes and I turn my phone back on as I get undressed and Rayne’s the first call through.

I answer it. (Sniffle.) “Yes…”

“Where are you!?” She yell-sobbed into the phone.

“Home.”

“How’d you get home?” She still sounds upset and crying. Like hurt and stuff but still like she’s mad at me.

“I hitchhiked.”

“You what!? Angel that’s not safe!”

“Doesn’t matter right? I’m a guy I can take care of myself!” I cry into the phone and hang up on her and turn my phone off and I don’t really make it anywhere…I just hit my bed and grab a pillow and bury my face in them and cry.

** Author’s note: Please excuse this for being short but I wanted to leave this off here for feedback. I’d love to hear all of your thoughts on this fight before I decide what direction the next chapter will head too.

Thank You!
*Big Hugs*
Bailey.

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Comments

oh no!

come on you two, make up already !

Girls fight, people in relationships fight.

It was a pretty big one and their first.
Might take some time or some help.
*Great Big Angel Hugs*
Bailey a Proud Big Brother.

Bailey Summers

Really?

I guess part of my problem with this started with last chapter. I don't see how a teste wedged up in the body is such a problem, needing to be mauled out. Between transition and surgery, I spent 18 months tucked, with my gonads pushed up into my body, recessed into a cavity there. They were tugged out occasionally for medical exams, then pushed back up, with no ill effects.

Premise aside, this argument was frustrating. I assume its a proxy argument for some other issue between them, because they were both over the top. I hope they work out whatever the real issue is.

Yes Really...not everyone's built the same.

I know that you had you experience but you were already in the know of what you were doing. Angel's "recessing" was accidental.

Rayne was joking but sometimes a joke's not a joke and all it takes it one person to snap back.

Bailey Summers

While it is common for

While it is common for tucking to have the teste rest normally within the inguinal canal, if it's too small it may have become wedged in wrongly or possibly done some damage to some of the tissues present in the scrotum.

On the other side, honestly it's good for a relationship to have a few bumps, helps them appreciate the good times more. Though I think Angel's still dealing with the idea that she really should have more bumps. *cough*

Angel just was told that who she was, was never who she really should have been. That she could've grown up far more masculine or feminine, but managed to ride the line between them to the point that everything got so mixed up. She's going to need a bit of time to process things. Even if it is a tad irrational. Especially since it's a tad irrational.

My 2 cents, of course.

Oh yes Irrational & Mixed up was sooo where Angel was at.

You're right on the money with your entire comment though and this was going to happen eventually sometime with something right?

Great 2 cents:)
*Big Hugs*

Bailey Summers

Welcome to being a real girl.

I think Angle and Rayne are being hormonal at the same time. Rub two emotional people together you get a spark then the emotional gasses go boom. Angle was lucky that GOD looks after children and fools she made it home this time but she needs to drop the boy-tudes and realize s/he needs to adopt female sensibilities as she will be living as a girl for the rest of her life.

Mrs. Sinclair is correct everyone can be an asshole some times so it will be good for the soul that the both of them apologies kiss and make up.

Ps great chapter exposing one of your great skills of making things real and not too nice nice. Thanks Bailey

Your misbehaving Faerie
Michele.

With those with open eyes the world reads like a book

Not really a 'tude

If I had a buck for every GG I've seen that walked out of a fight and set out to walk/hitchhike home I could buy a half-dozen steak dinners. So don't blame Angel's stupidity on her former boyhood. Not thinking when you are emotional is not a sex-based trait, almost everybody I know has had one of these moments where thinking with your heart overrules thinking with your head. There's more than enough responsibility here to go around. I'm more likely to forgive Angel's behavior, she was in a fair amount of pain and expected some sympathy from the most important person in her life. She was not expecting Rayne to laugh at her. And that hurt more than the physical pain. Too much of what we call humor is belittling someone who is down, I personally have gotten tired of it.

“When a clown moves into a palace, he doesn’t become a king. The palace becomes a circus.” - Turkish Proverb

yes, everyone will do the "tude"

I got into a fight with my mom on something, cant remember now, was in the car, when we got home she got out, i was so mad still, i wound up hitting the windshield repeatedly, on the third hit, it spiderwebbed. so yeah, me the least violent person out of 3 boys and a girl, did that, in a snit.

I also like that they had this fight, it brings them down to a more "realistic" place in life, EVERYONE has fights. ive never seen any relationship that didnt.

Terri

PS Another great chapter as usual, it had been a while so i had to reread the last part of the last one and ive still got the doctor in my head, lol

Teresa L.

Yes not thinking but feeling was a definite here.

Rayne was sort of trying to make light of it and the whole thing went sideways with a speed bump thrown in. This will be interesting, I promise.
*Big Hugs*

Bailey Summers

Thanks Misha, I agree that...

Even good people and good characters can screw up and be human and be assholes to each other.
*Great Big Little Hugs for my Faerie-wolf.*

Bailey Summers

arguments

This is a good argument. I love this story for the fact that it address' character issues while evolving a story. Before this I was kind of feeling that most of the conflict was going to happen between the protagonists and the antagonists but seeing this argument gives the story a whole new twist.

I hope to see this argument resolved with both Rayne and Angel talking out, not only what hurt both of them, but also how they will handle it in the future.

Can't wait to read the next chapter!

P.S. love the character development in this story.

I'm trying to get my characters to grow without the Villains too

Even with Adam looming and Lurking their lives do go on and how many of us are mess free? It's going to hopefully be interesting to see what comes out of this and how they're going to get passed it.

*Big Hugs*

Bailey Summers

Dear Abby...

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAILEY!!!! *shakes fist*

Dear Jemima,

I have had a big argument with my girlfriend and called her a nasty word and now I don't know what to do. Please help!

Yours

Thoughtless of Harper's Point

Dear Thoughtless of Harper's Point,

DAMNIT, you don't get to call Angel a guy in an argument!!! Grrrrrr!!! And teasing your girlfriend when she is clearly in pain and just getting over working her self up that it was cancer again is a pretty jerky thing to do. Yes, she prolly overreacted but teasing her over something she desperately would have wanted is also a little jerky as well and yes, she was wrong to hitch back home but then you did storm off remember??!?!?!?

That being said, I'm sure we've all had full blown relationship typhoons that spring from nothing and this feels very much like one. They'll be some more yelling, some sulking and then some crying, apologising and making up before it blows over. Or at least you better make it up!!!! My advice would be to ~~think of~~ make some sort of romantic gesture. And apologise. Begging even if needed, though make sure your girlfriend also apologises for hitching back because that was thoughtless of her, but yeah, lots of apologising from you is a good place to start.

On the plus side, relationship woes can be good sources for musical creativity, so looking forward to the next gig!

Yours Jemima

PS. You're going to make me cry in the next chapter aren't you Bailey? It feels like that sort of story arc. *sniffle*

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

Remember when your 1rst big relationship fight ended the world?

That's exactly what's going on here and now. Angel's been so scared of saying stuff that's been bugging her and Rayne has her own stuff too that just ended up with a silly sort of joke to a full on girl fight explosion.

Now they both have to learn how to make things up and get passed this when it's really their first time doing it.

There maybe tears in the next chapter it's possible but I haven't started it yet.

*Great Big Hugs*

Bailey Summers

no relationship is perfect...

all the time. have them talk /cry it out. then make up. an if a nut gets twisted they can loose it, that happened to one of my nephews.
tough one but lets see them come back stronger, thanks

(still waiting for Kimmie's power panty song)

There will definitely need to be talking.

There's a lot of stuff going on that will have to be brought out in the open.
Kimmie might have to trot those lyrics out to get everyone laughing and stuff.
*Hugs and Howls*

Bailey Summers

Mmm...

I wondered if you'd go there, the often ignored elephant in the room when everything's peaches and cream:
Is the transsexual mtf really a girl?
Or is everyone just indulging the poor deluded creature?

I imagine a period is not everybody's picnic. And certainly lots of GGs have a tough deal with it, but also I wonder if the emphasis of this hardship isn't a bit much. I know plenty of GGs who cope admirably, and while they certainly not jubilantly go around celebrating this undeniable proof of their womanhood every 4 weeks, they also don't turn into snarling she-wolves defensive of their prerogative to bite everyones head of because they are cursed with this 'indignation'.

I think Rayne is quite insensitive, flinging this 'fucking guys' in Angel's face. For one, Angel is still highly sensitive to her 'inadequacies' in not being born in the right sex from the start.
Next she seems not to comprehend that groin pains are always very embarrassing and highly debillatating, for men and women alike, not to mention painful. Though that should be obvious.
Third referring to a period, which illogically is highly coveted by transsexuals, but naturally out of reach, is driving home a major fault in the biology of the insecure mtf. Needling Angel about it is a little ill conceived, and Angels rebuttal is maybe a bit much, but readily understandable.
But then blowing up about 'their right' to refer, discuss and/or moan about that bodily function is, aking to elitism, excluding from 'their' band of sisters.

I figure Rayne has some soul searching to do. Can she really accept Angel as being a girl? It seems to me she's not quite there yet.

Anyway I wonder how you're going to handle that, Hope it's not too long a wait. All these other stories you write must be quite distracting :) Then again thanks for writing, you spin a wonderful yarn.

Jo-Anne

What Rayne said was hurtful but said in anger.

And yet sometimes anger holds some truths in it. Whether or not she's totally good with things that remains to be seen. Angel coming back with her own comments on Rayne's biology wasn't that much better either really.

And they might be living together and stuff but these are still pretty young women and these things eventually do happen.

*Great Big Hugs*

Bailey Summers

Not to drag this

on, into a discussion but Angel coming back with her own comments on Rayne's biology wasn't that much better either really ?? I don't get that. What particular nasty bit was said by Angel that was so slighting on Rayne's biology?

Kind hugs back, Jo-Anne

Well her saying it was fair for Rayne to use her cycles.

in an argument about down there pain not being fair really isn't kind of fair either even if Angel is trans. It wasn't bad nasty but still wasn't called for either really.

*Hugs*

Bailey Summers

Could be trouble!!

They need to talk and tell their side of things to the other!!
Not talking leads to most breakups!!

The two other girls are there to stick noses where needed.

That will at least be part of this as well as Mike and Angel's dad. He was actually married with all the hard bits in there too so that'll help.

*Big Hugs*

Bailey Summers

great chapter i really hope

great chapter i really hope that rayne and angel can kiss and make up its true that all relationships have bumps and so if they get past them it will make them stronger.

Thanks Michelle:)

I'm really glad that you enjoyed it and hopefully I won't keep everyone waiting too long for the rest of this.
*Great Big Hugs*

Bailey Summers

Please!

Please let them have a quick and loving make-up. I love these 4 girls as if I know them personally and want nothing but good to happen to them. Thank you for letting us have a say - this is my favorite story on the web by far! (A,O,&H might be number 2!) Thanks for all of your stories and please make Rayne and Angel happy.

Larimus

Where this is on the fly I don't know Larimus.

But it's going to smart for awhile and who knows what's going to happen but too soon is too storybook cliche and girl fights can hurt a long time it will all depend on what happens as I write. I want to resolve things in a way that feels right to me.

*Big Hugs*

Bailey Summers

Something else

I was rereading the last couple of chapters and it occurs to me that if Angel and Rayne stay on the outs for any length of time its going to really screw up the next gig or three. Mind you, the girls are talented musicians, but it was Angel that got them going again. She's like the keystone in the band. And one of the big draws (in my opinion) is the way Rayne and Angel interact. The two of them are not good enough actors to convince the audience that all is well. Their draw power is going to drop, just when it needs to be up. You're only as good as your last gig.

“When a clown moves into a palace, he doesn’t become a king. The palace becomes a circus.” - Turkish Proverb

You're very right this might carry over to the gigs.

Monday's burning away and they have one Tuesday night and that might be a factor with things. I'm still undecided yet so we'll still see after the next chapter.
*Great Big Hugs*

Bailey Summers

I'm for a quicker resolution

I'm for a quicker resolution to this those kids have gone through enough shit in their lives.
I know you didn't ask for advice on anyone else but how about a little plot twist on adams devious plans for messing with the bikers, maybe in his greedy little plans to trick the bikers into siding with him, he provides them with some girls and unfortunately for him one of them just happens to be a distant relative of one of the bikers.
Then he can get taught a litle lesson in how biker gangs are like families, the bikers could get a little divine retribution on him and turn him into someones little toy since he has such a low opinion of women. maybe since he has no respect for his father they make junior his bitch, daddys already into drugs it wouldn't take much to get him high and he wouldn't know who it was until it was too late. right before the gang took care of the whole lot of them. This solution might seem a little nasty but nothing that family doesn't deserve

Well I have a plot planned out for Adam.

But getting into that kind of revenge isn't really in that. Now mind you I'm pretty intrigued with the possible idea that the new bikers might know one of these girls. I'll have to see if that sticks when I do the stuff for them.

As for a quick resolution again it'll come out as it will as I write it. But when girls have a blow up it can get pretty bad.

*Great Big Hugs*

Bailey Summers

I like your stories you write

I like your stories you write with a style that stirs up emotions and makes people care about your characters not to mention disliking your antogonists. Parts remind me of my own high school experience. not abused as bad as your characters but feeling like on the outside looking in.
I like to think of your stories as therapy for the soul.

Holy gosh Guest Reader. Thank you I'm blushing!

I try and make my characters feel real even the one's in my more outlandish plots. A good friend said to one of the other players in a AD&D game when she said. "I've a 12th level fighter mage with a +3 Longsword."
And My friend asked. "What does she eat on her fish and chips?"

Take that thought and add some more to it and a dash of real life experiences and there you go.

Bailey Summers

Moving

It's always a testament of how much I love these these characters and the story that I get upset when they are fighting and arguing.

Ok ok I just hope they make up... *sniffle*

Oh god not good, it's really

Oh god not good, it's really been blown out of proportion. I think they need to sit and apologize to each other, I understand Rayne's comment hurt but I honestly don't think it meant to come out like that.

I need more, big hugs

Lizzie :)

Yule

Bailey's Angel
The Godmother :p

So real...

... the pain just resonates inside. It's bad enough when someone we don't care about hits us in the most vulnerable, sensitive parts, devastating when its someone loved and trusted. Even if it's forgiven, it's never forgotten... If Rayne loved Angel so much, how could she even go there without it being malicious? Some things just don't get a pass, no excuse to justify...

Lovely chapter, Bailey, but my heart is breaking for Angel right now :'(

*sniffly hugs*
Jen

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