Jem...Chapter 30 Part 2

Jem…Chapter 30 Part 2

*Mike……

It took me some time to process the fact that Angel had just told me that she wasn’t her sister. She wasn’t her…then that means…Oh…oh…and I just…

I’m not gay, I’m not even bi or I never thought that I was I mean I can sometimes see where girls get that whole a guy is cute thing but never really a same way. Like Brad Pitt, George Clooney kinda givens that’s right there in my processing range.

But I kissed Angel and apparently Angel is Jason.

But Angel looks, and moves and smells and sounds…and her lips are so soft…

I sit leaning against the desk in the garage office trying to get things straight in my head and chew on my thumbnail.

Brooklyn comes in and leans on the doorway. “Hey….Mike?”

“Uhm…What? Oh…Sorry Brooklyn.”

“No...Its uhm okay just you look kind of like you seen a ghost?”

“I…I’m kind of in shock actually.”

“Why, what happened?”

“I uhm kissed angel awhile ago when I went over to the house.”

“Okay and…?”

“Well it turns out that I kissed and I’ve been crushing on Jason.”

“So you figured it out huh?”

“Oh…nope, Jason had to come clean with me since we’re here and stuff but it was after the kiss.”

“Oh…you’re really freaked out aren’t you?”

“Yeah…” I don’t do that hug yourself thing that the girls do but I do the guy equivalent and I shove my hands into my front pockets and I sort of hunch.

Brooklyn comes in the rest of the way and she sort of hop sits beside me on the edge of the desk. “You’re not going to freak out and like go all psycho on Jase are you?”

“No.”

“Good Jase has been beaten an terrorized enough just going to school with that sociopath Adam and of course all the sheep too that thought it was fine to jump in on the abuse or to just let it happen.”

“Yeah…I know, I’ve heard things, rumors and stories about some of the stuff that they put him through. It’s still sort of goes on. They’ve got a rumour mill going so they can make up wild Jason stories and stuff about what kind of freak he is.”

“Why? He’s gone, took off?”

“Adam…he hates Jason for never backing down to him or anyone else. So dissing him while he’s not here just makes them look cool or at least on his side because trust me right now…their terrified of being named the next Jason.”

“I’m so glad that I don’t go to that school.”

“Yeah it’s an unfun place. If you’re not part of the in crowd.”

“So what are you going to do Mike?”

“I don’t know, this is so screwed up. I mean it explains a lot of things like mainly where Jason’s actually been at because the people that Dad and I know and have asked haven’t been able to find him. It’s just I never though he’s be living as a girl and the lead singer in a rock band.”

“And Angel’s really spooky flawless?”

“Yeah…I think of Jason and all I have are pictures I’ve seen and hearsay but Angel I’m trying to put two and two together on this but I’m still coming up with Angel, her being Jason is just so…”

“Hard to believe?”

“Yeah…”

“Oh I kind of get it.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah…I mean I think Angel is just so Angel that I’d honestly have a hard time seeing Jason as Jason now at this point it’s be like on a TV show where you’d see this person that looks just like them but the image of the person you really new is just under the surface like an image or over them like this ghost only you could see.”

I look at her and I see she’s looking at the floor but not in that sad way but that far off thinking way and then she realizes that I’m watching her and she reddens up. “Sorry that was kind of stupid and weird right?”

“Actually it made sense to me. Brooklyn it’s me…Mike the guy that’s been you’re practice dummy all day…You don’t have to act dim to be around me, you don’t have to watch what you say or what you feel around me.”

She’s looking at me. It’s this mix that hits me deep. There’s this sort of serious girl there and I kind of like that about her but there’s this look in there that’s in there deep like an abused animal…like those shelter dogs that look at you like they want to believe you’re not going to hurt them but they can’t.

“Sorry Mike…it’s going to take awhile…”

“Brook its okay, Dad and I’ve had way too much experience with battered women.”

“But I’m not…I wasn’t married or stuff.”

“That doesn’t matter Brooklyn, just the way you act it’s more than a case of child abuse…you don’t have to be married or even be in a relationship to have that shit happen to you Brook.”

There’s a few tears that she quickly wipes away and she’s instantly got the defensive hunch going on like I’m okay don’t touch me but I stay where I’m at but offer her one of my tissues.

“Thanks Mike.”

“You’re welcome.”

“You know Raven’s got the same problem as you do right.”

“Yeah…I’ve sort of felt that when I’ve been with them a few times like I’m sort of being the third wheel even if they’re not together.”

“Pfffudd…!” she makes this face as she makes the sound and honestly it makes her really damned pretty and cute. Red hair kinda like the old way that Amanda Marshall used to wear it and freckles but her face scrunched up in this cute way when she did that.

“Oh they’re together; they are so together that it’s driving me and Kim nuts that they don’t get that they are.”

“Huh? I’m not following.”

“Mike you’re an awesome guy and yeah you really do turn heads and stuff even Angel’s which has he all confused or her and Jason confused.”

“Well that makes two of us.”

“Yeah well as much as you and Angel have this attraction this chemistry going on she has this really deep down there connection with Raven, they can fight it all they want to but they keep gravitating to each other until they get too close and back off because Jason’s a guy and Raven’s a lesbian.”

“But Jason’s Angel.”

“Exactamotherfuckinly!”

I can’t help it she just made me laugh. No girl that I know would ever have come up with that much less said it.

The shy but sort of impish…no…pixie like grin she gives me is amazing too.

“Okay…so how about you explain that?”

“Jason’s had a shitty life, he’s never had the chance to be himself at school, he didn’t have a friend in the world and his Dad’s been busy or rather trying to be so busy that he’s too tired to manage dealing with his grief over Jason’s Mom. So here comes the chance to be Angel and now angel is free of all of Jason’s troubles for the most part and he’s now free to interact with people and Jason’s getting to shine finally.”

“But Jason’s Angel.”

“Yes…Mike…If I put you in drag you don’t stop being Mike, well Angel is still Jason only they’re using being a girl as a sort of personality filter. She’s still Jason and Jason is still angel all you have to do, all Rayne has to do is to actually get over the dangler and see that the girl that she loves is more than that and she might have to just fucking deal with that because even after a sex change it still won’t change what’s between the ears.”

“But she’s a lesbian?”

“And Angel’s close enough to one that it shouldn’t matter. Her not getting together with Angel because of what’s under the clothes is just as bad as the rich assclowns that judge a book by it’s cover and look down at people because they don’t fit their “standards.” You or Raven would be all over Angel if she was a genetic girl. So what changes? Angel hasn’t, if either of you had no idea then what?”

“You’re really in her corner huh?”

“Yeah Angel or Jason is one of my best friends. I just want them to be happy.”

“And that’s not me?”

“You want to have kids? A wife a family a house and dog and grandkids someday?”

“Yeah I think so someday.”

“Then you and Angel are really at most going to be a good relationship…if you even stay around that long. And if you guys went full time and full commitment then there’s even more stuff going on. Angel and Raven they are already falling in love with each other, the make promises to each other, feed each other play and write music together sing to each other…the way that they look at each other and connect on stage…”

“Yeah I’ve seen that…so it really does make sense that they are sort of meant for each other then.”

“I think so.”

“But that makes me and angel kissing alright because as much as it ended up being Jason that I was kissing Jason is Angel and that means that I was really kissing Angel.”

“That’s a bit of a roaming way to get to it but yeah.”

“Huh…okay that’s kind of a relief.”

“Worried that you were gay?”

“Uhm….”

She looks at me and bites her lip and she slips off the desk and she closes in really fast and slips her fingers into my hair in this kind of Grr..irl? way and she gives me this kiss.

It was a really good kiss…and I just start to kiss her back…just starting to get my feet under me as it were and she breaks the kiss. She walks away back out into the garage and turns around to look at me with that pixie look.

“Nope…not gay…”

Oh dammit, oh holy sheep-shit i…I’ve never been kissed like that in my life. I’ve had girlfriends and I’ve kissed them lots, they’ve kissed me too but Brooklyn kissed me in that way that a kiss when written would come in as all caps.

Strong, but at the same time I really get just how broken up she’s inside and how much guts that it takes…that it took for her to do that.

And she did that for me? With me and…Oh I’m so not going to push it but you know when you see something you’ve sort of passed by a lot and then something happens where you go Ooooh?

Brooklyn….Ooooh?

I’m trying to sort of just muddle through this and what in means when Uncle Remy comes in and says. “Hey let’s go get cleaned up.”

** At Dinner…….

I look at Angel or at Jason and honestly I can’t see the difference and I’m trying to figure out just what to say or just what the hell is it that I’m actually feeling with all of this stuff going on and then I see it.

Raven just comes in and walks to angel and just slips her hand over her waist and around angels hip as the pass and she leans close, really close to angel’s ear and tells her that everything that looks and smells great and there’s just something there in the eye contact between them and then it’s gone like they both slip it under that happy moment that we’re sharing together and just kind of let that exchange just sort of fade from the moment.

I can’t help it but look over a Brook and our eyes meet in that sort of uh-huh told you way and a smile at just how…

Then there’s another look because as much as I’ve dated I’ve never had a long tern love…and honestly I want one. I want that easy together that Angel and Raven just kind of blew off sort of…and I see it in Brooklyn’s eyes too.

That same sort of…y’know.



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