Jem…Chapter 19.

*Jeremy Powers…AKA…Angel’s Dad…

I get home and there’ll need to be a bit of a talk later between me and Michael. I mean he’s acting like a teenaged boy mind you he’s better than most being a pretty descent kid and all but…Angel…

Yeah Angel…

You’d think as a father that I’d be completely losing my head over my son cross-dressing and living and hiding out as a girl but…and this is a big thing. Well several things. One he looks like his mother, a lot like his mother and two he’s happier, doing things he had never got to do because…she’s not Jason.

Jason’s life’s been hell and he totally kept me in the dark about it and everything him not wanting to make my life harder. Always taking it on to take care of me just like he’s doing with the girls only with the girls he’s got the third and fourth thing.

A band and some real true blue friends.

So Angel’s my daughter and if it does come to pass this is something more than what it is…I don’t care because I’ve seen her in action and My son’s a great kid, I love him and I’m proud of him and I always will be but angel’s a young lady that I can be.

Hell I’m already proud of her.

I start the van of Raven’s up one we get it off the wrecker and I was pretty sure there wasn’t any sugar in the gas tank or stuff like that but this gives me a perfect excuse to go over it and fix all the little things for the girls and besides. Me and Mike’s dad grew up together and we had a couple of cars that we had painted and stuff so us doing some body work and painting it shouldn’t be too hard.

I get it inside and over the pit and get furnace on but I let the van idle for awhile. It’ll warn the engine up and that’ll make taking it apart easier.

I grab a mug of day old cold coffee and put it in the microwave and the start calling a couple of friends of mine. Nothing serious but a few guys who owe me favors. One’s pretty good at having surplus deer meat in his deepfreezes and stuff like that another guy drives a freezer truck and there’s a lot of “Damaged freight” that he keeps around.

I explain it’s for Angel a close friend of Jason’s who helped out with stuff and end up explaining some of that stuff too and they’re more than willing to chip in some groceries and stuff that the girls could use. I tell them that I’ll be by to pick it up shortly and that this is really appreciated.
Hey…

Yes, I had to do this. Those girls are really something and have really gone way past nice to real friends and more…I seen that when they got out of the van, when they showed me around the house.

I have to do this for them because I’m pretty sure that I might just have not just one daughter that may or may not be temporary but three of them that are likely to be permanently so.

I grew up in a damaged household; my wife was the one person who showed me that life didn’t have to be a cycle of endless suck. She grew up in the same way in a shitty home life and we promised ourselves and each other that our families would never be like that.

The girls are family after this one way or another.

I get Mike to follow me in his ride to give me a ride home once I drop off the Cutlass-Supreme.

Oh Yeah…it’s a nice car too. An 85 and in really good shape too.

Mark had a plastic bad full of one pound done up lots of frozen deer hamburger and some sausages and a few chops and a bag of frozen lake perch.

Danny had several bags of frozen veggies in those clear plastic bags they get put in before they get repacked into like bags for Green Giant or some other company plus the same kind of plastic sealed boxes of frozen mini pizzas that looked to be headed to Pillsbury.

His wife Gwen had a bunch of old stuff for the girls from clothes her daughters wore before moving out and college and old house wares like towels and old dishes and blankets and stuff.

Jack had a whole bunch of canned goods and two old acoustics without strings that needed some TLC and he threw in a big frozen turkey considering he had a deep-freezer full of them.

I head to the girl’s house and honk the horn and Raven and angel come out looking showered and better if it sweats and stuff. I get out and grin at the girls. “Here’s the Cutlass, and there’s some stuff that a few friends of mine wanted you girls to have.”

I give the keys to Raven and they both look in the trunk and the backseat. I love the excited looks on their faces. There's this sort of sad wistfulness on Raven’s. She looks at me.

“Mr. Powers, this...this is too much.”

“No it’s not you girls are Jason’s friends and with for of you a few extras might stretch your own funds a little bit more. Now some of this stuff is used but the rest of it came from friends that sort of had things that didn’t make a few warehouses and stuff so it’s free and they owe me some favors.”

Raven’s nodding but rubbing at her eyes. (Sniffle.) “Thanks so much Mr. Powers we really appreciate it.”

Angel grins at me then looks in one of the bags. “Eeew…used?...you gave us used meat?”

Ow….she sounds just like her mom back when I first met her.

“Yes….I believe the deer was using it before you.” I pull her into a hug. She hugs me back and whispers to me. “Thanks Daddy.”

I give them both a hug and then gesture for Mike to give me a hand carrying the things into the house and while the redhead Brooklyn? Is still keeping her distance the Chinese girl is bouncing like it was Christmas.

“Ooooh! Lookit it’s a turkey, can we have turkey sometime Ange? Can we? I’ve never had turkey before…please, please, please!!?”

“You’ve never had turkey before?” Mike asks like she’s strange. I’ll give her that she’s a strange little thing but she’s got this infectious energy about her.

“Well sorta I’ve had the stuff at like Christmas at school and like on subs or like TV dinners but we never really did the whole turkey thing.”

“Not even for Thanksgiving?”

“We didn’t celebrate it really, unless there was like a business reason or something that my folks had to go to that was like catered but I never really got to go to those since I was usually in school at the time.”

I look at Angel and she’s got that fond of you head tilt hair just hanging like so of her mothers and really it’s like seeing a ghost and at the same time it’s like getting her back a bit too.

The girls end up giving me and mike another big round of hugs and Angel walks me out to mike’s ride and when we get there she gives me this great big hug. “God thanks for this Daddy.” She quietly says.

“Daddy?” I say quietly back.

“Like this…yes. If I’m going to be Angel It’s getting to where it’s just too where I have to be Angel when I’m this way. I’m second guessing too much and that might get me caught.”

“And after?”

“I have no idea. So…Mike’s your friend’s son…?”

“Yeah he’s helping with things at your school and with Adam.”

“Well he’s been skipping school.”

“He’s a part time student. He’s wicked smart and that gives him the freedom to do his thing. He’s done stuff like this before I guess helping his dad and stuff.”

“Okay…did he go through my stuff?”

“Hey it’s your fault if you left things out and around that he or the town cops could find.”

“Da…” She’s cut short from Mike coming outside. “Just replace all the sheets and stuff when I come home okay…I just don’t want the though of him doing….y’know….”

She blushes a serious red and I chuckle. I hug her again. “Whatever happens I love you kiddo.”

“I know.” She whispers.

***Back to Jem/Angel/Jason….

I head back into the house sniffling and feeling all sort of mixed between being all warm and fuzzy and just worn out and tired from everything that’s happened today and Raven gives me one of her smiles and she hugs me followed by the other two.

“You’re dad’s pretty great y’know.” She says.

“Yeah he’s a really good guy, he’s always been y’know “That guy” the one that people know they can rely on. But he’s….he’s being a lot more…Sweet? Than I remember him being.”

Roxy hugs a little tighter and bounces as she’s hugging me. “That’s because you’re his little girl now and Daddies are supposed to treat them special!”

I blush but they all are kind of looking all awkward now after that…Roxy/Kim looks like she actually might cry and Brooklyn just kind of does that deep breath thing sad sigh. “Yeah…they are but most don’t.”

“Sorry girls…”

“No, don’t Angel; it’s actually kind of nice to see that there is such a thing as nice guys still.” Raven says. “Hell I’m not really sure that my dad was really that bad a guy except for him not being able to handle me being gay.”

We all hug her because, well because we’re girls and that’s what we do right? Lean on and hold each other up at the same time.

I’m yawning because it’s late but I go back to the couch and get the rest of the video spliced/edited together for our show and crop each song to its own video and put up the full show and each of the videos on the band’s You Tube channel.

It’s quarter to two by the time I’m all done that and Brooklyn and Kim kissed both me and Raven good night and she stayed up with me as we went through the entire process and she did the postings of our stuff on the other pages we have on Tumbler and Blogger and even spent a few minutes on twitter talking to people.

Oh…we have 207 twitter followers.

I look at her and at the clock. “I called in sick tomorrow; with the cold I had they won’t say too much.”

We power stuff down and head upstairs. I ask Raven. “Mr. Walker’s offer any ideas?”

“I want to take the job but I’d like that to be something really steady. I’d like to get us some bread and butter things through the week and then leave our weekends open for special gigs.”

“Yeah, and it’d be nice if you didn’t have to work over at Hellmart.” I grin.

“Yeah, hopefully we’ll here from him soon, you were really great tonight Angel and not just with the band either…you took things above and beyond.”

“Hey, it’s….” I shrug. “I love you, you’re my best friend. What could I do just sit back and do nothing? You mean too much for me to do that.”

I see there’s this look and I’m sort of got an idea of where her brain’s at right now and I step in and give her a big hug, a bit of a long one and a kiss on her cheek. “Nighter’s Rayne.”

“Uhm Nighter’s? Angel.”

I slip into my room and sigh and lean against the wall. I’m pretty sure that she might have asked me to sleep or stay with her tonight and as much as it’s tempting I think we need to just let this chill out for awhile.

It’s just tonight was awfully intense.

I start peeling out of my stuff. And it feels good to get out of all of the stuff and not just the stuff that I had to keep on because Dad and Mike were around. I settle in my make-up and all that stuff already removed and with a sore moan and grateful sigh I slip into bed.

My dreams were vivid stuff. I usually don’t remember my dreams but these were filled with our show and summer being the scunt that she is and Mike…him kissing my finger and putting the Band-Aid on my finger and him being the nice and extremely hot guy that he is and there’s a part of me that dreams of the nice part.

When you’re picked on and bullied as much as I have been nice…even if it’s a guy is a really good thing.

And of course the most vivid parts are the whole bit between me and Raven where we nearly get hit by that car and the crying and everything with that and her singing to me.

I do get a good amount of that whole deep nothing's there nothings in my head sleep too. I slept in and I’m not used to that.

I get up and head down stairs and Raven’s up and in the living room typing away and scribbling as she goes from the laptop to the notepad to her guitar and plays a few chords as she’s working out a song.

God she looks good. I mean it in this way that I think is hot. She’s got her hair in this bandana and there’s some wavy black wisps hanging down and she’s got these dark framed rectangular lensed glasses on that I didn’t think that she wore and she’s just in this pair of knee length grey military pants? And this black baggy but not too baggy Darkside of The Moon t-shirt. It’s all part of what she’s wearing…that dressed down look and what she’s doing that really makes the picture.

I get a coffee and bring her one too. “I’ll be down in a bit I’m going to get cleaned up and stuff. You eat any breakfast?”

“Uhm…toast….”

“I’ll cook something when I come down.”

“You’re not the maid Angel!” She calls after me.

“No and I’m not your mother either but when you start taking better care of yourself then I’ll stop taking care of you!” I yell back.

“In that case I think I’ll stay an invalid!”

“Hardy-har-har.”

……………………………….................................. I shower and take my time enjoying the hot water and the scents of my body wash and the puff is nice, even guys like the shower puff. I loved getting mine at home going with that Irish spring body wash stuff but this hits even more though the smells of things with the girls shower stuff just hit me in these places that I didn’t know where there.

I love my apricot body scrub. I try a new trick in the shower and take a brush and comb in with me and use both while the conditioner is doing it’s thing. It seems finer when I blow dry it. I’m not planning on going out so it’s just the inserts and then brushing teeth, plucking a few things and I’m humming and singing “I am Beautiful…” by Christina Aguilera.

I opt for some of Mom’s old faded jeans and her scoop necked beat up old McGill university sweatshirt and stay barefoot then head downstairs. By that time I’m hungry and it’s actually close to lunch.

“Brunch it is then.”

I decide on an omelet for me and Raven and me. Eggs and some milk and a bit of chopped green onion, grated celery, a grated potato and some bacon. I toss the bacon in first and get it crispy and the fat out of it them take the bacon out, in goes the onion and the celery and I just let it go until they just cook and they flavor the bacon fat. Then I putt them out too then in goes the grated potato. That I let cook until it’s just getting crisp and then pour in the eggs and then add everything back in then just before I flip it over a bit of cheese.

I carry it in with some toast and she takes a minute to look up from what she was doing. “Come on, follow me and bring the coffees.”

I grab the one of the old blankets and out on the front steps then sit. Raven looks at me. “And we’re out here why?”

“Eating breakfast.”

“Out here?”

“Yeah, just how often do people ever just use their front step than just that? I mean just look.”

I’m looking out over thee yards and the houses all in different states the fall leaves starting and the fact you can see the railway tracks less than two hundred yards away. Raven sits down and we both take a bite of our breakfast and just sit. I smile mouth full as Raven’s nodding sort of getting it.

It’s not even talking as we just sit there eating breakfast and then sipping hot coffee.

“Thanks Angel.”

“For what?”

“This, I’ve never really just stopped and done something like this before.”

“Me neither actually, it’s just something that I think I might start doing though ever once and awhile.”

“I hope so, this is nice. I feel so outside of the bullshit right now.”

“Me too.”

It’s the longest mug of coffee I’ve really sat and had. I mean not like nursing one while doing something else but just sitting on our steps with Raven having a coffee and just not doing or thinking about stuff really.

Yep, I’m so going to have to do this more often.

By the time we’re done though we’re more than cold enough to head back inside and Raven goes back to songwriting and playing while I get all of…hey...cool the laundry is mostly done just a load to dry in the washer and well folding some of our stuff up.

And…yeah that’s very cool.

I carry the stuff up and start to fold it up and then in between doing that I’m headed into the kitchen and I make some bread dough up and stuff. Then grab some of the deer hamburger to thaw out and I think it’ll be burgers so I toss some onions in the frying pan on low with some water to cook down and get all brown with some chopped up bacon and then start making coleslaw.

I use a knife on mine for the cabbage. If you have a good sharp knife you can cut it really, really thin and you get these cool strands out of it and with that I toss in some chili flakes and some black pepper and some celery salt and a bit of sugar and vinegar and let it sit. Once it’s all mixed up. It’ll sort of get this pickle sort of thing going on that will work well with the rest of the stuff.

Then I’m back out to sit with Raven and I get online and work on some of our site stuff post replies and talk about our gig tomorrow night at The Munroe street bowling alley.

Then it’s going through our list of covers and sending out the digital letters of intent for their use and run them through The Harry Fox Agency. Raven’s soon sitting in with me and we go over everything with the guy on the other end of things Max Stone and he explains that the HFA (Harry Fox Agency) which does exactly this kind of thing for years handles the relationship between artists and covers done by bands.

He’s actually pretty prompt in getting back to us because we’re doing this all online and he’s checked out our sites online and we get sent an invoice of the song fees and a contract with HFA and some songs are free to cover unless you put them on a CD or sell them online. We’re still required to give credit as well and we send another song list to them of the other songs that we want to do and then we send him the required payment after using Raven’s credit card to set up Pay-pal account to pay our stuff and while we’re at it set up Pay-pal donation accounts for the band on all of our sites and link it together to our Twitter feed messages to us so we get an alert every time we get a donation and we can check our account balances.

We’ve digital receipts of all the stuff for our songs and material now that we’ve used and will be using in the near future and…

Wow…

“Wow…I actually feel like we’re really doing this, like a professional band.”

Raven hugs me and shakes her head. “I didn’t know about having to do half of this stuff Ange, we never did it before summer said we should just play what we wanted and that something like it being common knowledge laws made it okay. But you, you really studied up on all of this stuff huh?”

“Yeah well Summer’s a thieving bitch and she’d have likely blamed it all on you if you girls did get caught. And yeah, I’ve always wanted to do this, be part of something like this.”

“Yeah she was really….god she was such a waste of too much of my fucking life.”

“No, look at it like this if you haven’t had her in your life and fucking things up then you’d have never met me and I’d likely have been beaten to death by Adam and his thugs.”

“I hate thinking about that…about the shit they’ve put you through.”

“Well Mike’s Dad is the RCMP buddy of my dad and he’s doing this whole helping out by being a part time student at my school so maybe they can do something about Adam and the fucking mob he runs at school.”

“If they do it’ll be weird not having you here, having you around.”

“Angel will still be around I think. I mean there’s all these gigs and stuff and I won’t leave you girls without a replacement and everything.”

“Really?”

“Yes…I told you I love you, you’re my best friend even if everything turns up roses then I’m still never going to leave you girls high and dry.”

“Maybe Jason can replace Angel on a few gigs then.”

“Maybe.”

I get up and pan the bread and get it started and then mix the burgers together with the onions and the bacon but also some HP sauce and lot’s of black pepper and some chopped up dates that I soften in some water and the microwave.

I drain some of the juice from the cabbage into the sink then take a veggie peeler and start to use it to make long thin ribbon slices of carrots and cucumber and zucchini and toss it all together then put it into the fridge.

There everything’s ready for when the girls get home.

I get us a drink, her a Coke and me my Mountain Dew. “Here.”

“Thanks Angel.”

“No prob, I saw some stuff on your part of the second list we sent in of covers that I don’t know.”

“Here, I’ll show you. Some of these are things that I’ve wanted to do for awhile now but never thought I’d do until now.”

She starts to sing and she’s fast strumming along on one of the acoustics and hitting the side too for the drumbeat effect.

“Whoa…okay stop a minute I want to record this and set it up.”

“Uhm okay, should I change?”

“God no this is perfect and unplugged.”

I set the camera up and just the song she’s singing with the drumbeating the guitar and the look she has look that is just screaming to me record this, record this but go black and white.

“Okay ready.” I lean into the view of the camera. “Hey this is Jem and this is Raven doing a solo unplugged of Adele’s song Rolling in the Deep.”

Raven starts and she has that voice that is son strong for stuff like this and the fast strumming and the drum beating along as she plays actually has me moving with the whole performance.

…………………* Rolling in the Deep.

“There’s a fire starting in my heart.”
“Reaching a fever pitch, it’s bringing me out of the dark.”
“Finally… I can see you crystal clear.”
“Go ahead and sell me out…”
“and I’ll lay your shit there.”
“See how I leave with every piece of you.”
“Don’t underestimate….the things that I will do.”

“There’s a fire starting in my heart…”
“Reaching a fever pitch. And it’s bringing me out of the dark.”

“The scars of your love…”
“remind me of us.”
“They keep me thinking that…”
“we almost had it all.”
“The scars of your love they…”
“leave me breathless.”
“I can’t help feeling.”

“We could have had it all….”
“Rolling in the deep.”
You had my heart, inside of your hand.”
“And you played it.”
“To the beat.”

“Baby, I have no story to be told.”
“But, I’ve heard one of you.”
“And I’m going to make your head burn.”
“Think of me in the depths of your despair.”
“Making a home down there, it reminds you of the home we shared.”

“The scars of your love.”
“remind me of us.”
“They keep me thinking that.”
“we almost had it all.”
The scars of your love they.”
“leave me breathless.”
“I can’t help feeling.”

“We could have had it all…”
“Rolling in the deep.”
“You had my heart, inside you hand.”
“And you played it.”
“To the beat, to the beat.”

“Throw your soul through every”
“open door.”
“Count you blessings to find what”
“you looked for.”
“Turned my sorrow into treasured”
“gold.”
“You pay me back in kind and reap”
“just what you sow.”

“We could have had it all…”
“We could have had it all…”
“It all, it all, it all…”
“We could have had it all…”

“Rolling in the deep…”
“You had my heart, inside of your hand.”
“And you played it.”
“To the beat.”

“We could have had it all…”
“Rolling in the deep.”
“You had my heart inside of your hand…”
“But you played it.”
“But you played it.”
“But you played it.”
“To the beat.”

She let’s the song die out with the cords and I’m just blown away and breathless at the power of her voice just able to belt out those notes and play at the same time. I have goosebumps in a good way.

God Summer you’re such a stupid bitch…I’m not even that pissed at the little so and so right now. I’m just blown away by the stupidity.

I reach over and turn off the recording and just sit back and stare a minute before clapping. It just… “My God Raven that way awesome.”

She blushes in that way only a hot girl in glasses can. “Thanks, I really like her stuff, there’s just so much power in her and I can feel it when she sings. It’s like I get stirred up and just have to sing it too.”

“It’s a really good song, it’d be perfect if we ever get to play at The Cat again.”

We sit together and spend the rest of the afternoon playing and jamming then both slipping off to the kitchen together and Raven helps me bake off the homemade bread and the rolls some I make in pans and others I make on the cookie sheet to be our buns for the venison burgers and I get her to eat a couple of fresh crusty rolls with me right out of the oven with peanut butter on them and it gets all melty and stuff…it’s so good.

It’s about four when the girls get home and I put the burgers on to cook and then post up the recorded video of Raven singing just jamming out in black and white on the couch and show it to the girls who take a right proper freak out.

It just sort of goes from there into this nice Thursday night and we just have supper which everyone likes and no one minds the fact we’re eating deer. Raven and Brooklyn ate it at home and Kim thinks its cool and an adventure and the coleslaw/salad goes over really well and even better when Brooklyn uses some Heinz chili sauce on hers and uses it as a topping for her burgers. And it’s really good so we all end up doing it….desert is just fresh slices of bread, Kim goes with jam and Brooklyn goes with just real butter on hers since we don’t have any molasses. Raven and I do peanut butter again and we just veg-out checking the sites, and playing video games and stuff to unwind before we get things together and start to practice our sets for Munroe’s Bowling Alley tomorrow night.

It’s a good play list, and there’s a stage according to Brooklyn who’s been there before in this sort of separate lounge from the lanes where people usually eat but there’s some space to dance a little in front of the stage.

We end up going to bed close to midnight and I’m having a cup of tea and a soak in the bathtub rather than the shower and I can heard Raven in the living room playing piano notes on the keyboard and I heard her singing another Adele tune. I’ve got a couple of scented candles going and the lights off as Raven serenades us all to this song called. “One and Only.” By Adele and It’s so soothing…and makes the house just seem sort of almost magical.

You've been on my mind
I grow fonder every day,
Lose myself in time
Just thinking of your face
God only knows
Why it's taken me so long
To let my doubts go
You're the only one that I want

I don't know why I'm scared, I've been here before
Every feeling, every word, I've imagined it all,
You never know if you never try
To forgive your past and simply be mine

I dare you to let me be your, your one and only
Promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms
So come on and give me a chance
To prove that I'm the one who can
Walk that mile until the end starts

I've been on your mind
You hang on every word I say
Lose yourself in time at the mention of my name
Will I ever know how it feels to hold you close?
And have you tell me whichever road I choose you'll go

I don't know why I'm scared 'cause I've been here before
Every feeling, every word, I've imagined it all,
You'll never know if you never try
To forgive your past and simply be mine

I dare you to let me be your, your one and only
I promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms
So come on and give me a chance
To prove that I'm the one who can
Walk that mile until the end starts

I know it ain't easy
Giving up your heart
I know it ain't easy
Giving up your heart

(Nobody's perfect, trust me I've learned it)
I know it ain't easy, giving up your heart
(Nobody's perfect, trust me I've learned it)
I know it ain't easy, giving up your heart

I know it ain't easy
Giving up your heart
I know it ain't easy
Giving up your heart

So I dare you to let me be your, your one and only
I promise I'm worthy to hold in your arms
So come on and give me a chance
To prove I am the one who can
Walk that mile until the end starts
Come on and give me a chance
To prove that I'm the one who can
Walk that mile until the end starts.

What a perfect night and really what a perfect end of the day and I’m just slipping out of the bathroom dried off and just in an extra long tee-shirt carrying my candle when Raven and I pass in the hall to each other’s rooms and we don’t even have to say anything just that shared looks and the shared smiles.

Happy…Yeah…

Nice for a change.

Really nice.