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Dead Reckoning by Mercedes Lackey

I've just finished reading Dead Reckoning by Mercedes Lackey. It is a very good book, and the main character is a FtM TV. The book is about zombies in the Wild West (1867). For those familiar with the Deadlands RPG setting, it is much like that without the Ghostrock(?) and physical changes, but with the Magic/Weird Science. For others think Wild Wild West with Magic, that isn't entirely accurate but a decent idea for the setting.

I highly recommend this story along with most of Mercedes Lackey's novels.

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does it ever really end?

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Well, the latest little story I wrote has started an avalanche of struggle with my rape, bringing all my bad stuff right to the front of my head, and leaving me wishing to God I had someone to hold me tight while I shook....

I hate this.

Does it ever really end?

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Where is Megan Campbell?

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Where is Megan Campbell?
Blog

By Stanman63
She usually post another Sarah Carera chapter by now on Mondays. When she knows she will be delayed, she let's us know. Has somebody insulted her or something?



Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

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I am schedualed to be an actress

Well I have very good awesome news.

an anti-discrimination film project being produced by Egale Canada (it's called: Courage in The Face of Hate). This film will be distributed to all high-schools in Canada to educate and sensitize students against LGBTQ discrimination.

Filming will take place on Wed, July 18th starting at 6:30pm in downtown Toronto (either a university or community centre setting, to be determined soon). There is a $25 stipend paid to participants.

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The Omega Unicorn Chronicles By rachel76m Delayed

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The Omega Unicorn Chronicles By rachel76m Delayed
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By Stanman63
Rachel sent me a P.M. saying that the next chapter will be delayed due to work.



Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

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Apparently dried up.

Just to keep readers informed.I haven't lost my muse. I'm adopting a new tactic, namely write the whole story then break it down into chapters (or whatever,) and post it once nightly until the story's finished.

Busy writing 'Wheels and Wings' at the mo. Dunno when I'll finish it though.

Bev.

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Suggested Reading

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I have been reading some excellent stories that will appeal to some of the folks here.

http://www.chakatsden.com/chakat/FT-index.html

If you don't like furries or science fiction, don't bother.

The Chakat universe involves Earth and the surrounding star systems a few hundred years from now. There are aliens, Earth-developed anthropomorphic beings, humans, star ships, and all the stuff that goes along with that.

The title species, the Chakat, are a race of felitaurs (think of a centaur, but with a cat body for the lower half, and an anthropomorphic cat for the upper half.

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I need some time off

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I'm stressed out by things that have happened back stage this past week. I need some time off and Piper's real life is kind of nightmarish lately so I hate to dump any more responsibility on her. My other assistants are really not experienced enough to do what I do here.

I'm going to be gone to the San Diego Comicon from Wednesday the 11th to Sunday the 15th. I'm thinking of shutting the site down while I'm gone or maybe just Thursday to Saturday since I'll be able to work on it Wednesday and Sunday. But really, the place would have burned down if I had been gone three days this weekend.

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Police officers accosted by hen party

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Police officers in Darwin, Australia, were accosted in a highly unusual incident during which attendees at a local bachelorette party mistook the cops for male strippers.

Australia's ABC News reports that the peace officers were called in to respond to a disturbance at the Humpty Doo Tavern, but a few partying women thought their mission that night was to protect and swerve.

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being normal

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I went to Wal-Mart today in my nice new blouse and skirt, and got to chatting with the people on either side of the line up at the pharmacy counter. Then I strolled through a farmer's market, and then stopped on my way home to get a glass of lemonade from a kid's stand. At no point did anyone seem to give me so much as a double take, which once upon a time I would have said was simply impossible for me - there was simply no way I could pass.

Funny how wrong a person can be, isnt it?

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Is Big Closet an E-mail site

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Today I just got the transcript of when the detective interviewed me for not registering my email accounts (long story that I am not going to go into). I notice several point of contentions. One is the existence of emails that I haven't used for 15 years and are most likely inactive (like my yahoo account from 2002). I stated several times in the interview that I did not use them (I didn't mention was that the last time I did use them was prior to me having to register them).

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World Pride, London, July 7th 2012

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I marched! =) With banner (for an LGBT group I'm part of) held high! =D Many others marched too, including representatives of LGBT organizations from many countries. ^_^
The most amusing part occurred about 2/3 of the way along the marching route. An organized group of bible bashers were bitching through their sound systems and holding banners and generally preaching fire and brimstone on us LGBTers. Most of us glanced at them briefly as we passed, but no-one paid them any further heed. Talk about a gloriously futile gesture. :D

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Got A Lot Going On Lately

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I have had a lot going on lately. I am working with my sister-in-law who lives in Colorado, trying to get my career off the ground as a Mary Kay consultant. I am trying to get enough orders to buy my starter kit and some inventory to get started with. She gave me a task to find six women to place orders this weekend, but so far, I haven't had much luck. If any of you would like to place an order, you can go to http://www.marykay.com/kcampbell98934. Just let me know if you do, so it will count toward the total I need and I can offer you my sincerest thank you.

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The Weather is Crazy!

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I've been on holiday this week, though because of two furry things, I don't go away, except the odd day trip. I did two this week, one to Portsmouth and the other to Bath.

All in all the weather has been the worst I can remember for a summer. June was the wettest on record, and July seems intent on beating it. Parts of Devon, the next county over from me, had a month's rain in 24 hours, I think we must have been close behind because it tipped down all day. I did go out because I wanted my Guardian for the weekend and I got some more furry food, although they'd just as soon eat mine.

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Women with balls.

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I'm still mildly seething, sort of like a dragon with smoke coming out my nostrils, but no flames. In my time being in the world of women, as one, I have never encountered a woman who acted like a man, aside from simply openly hostile, man hater, lesbian women, and even their presentation was, well lacking.

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I'm sorry

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Hi all,

I have to apologise for not writing much lately.

Real life has intruded and stopped me from doing much.

Firstly, we are trying to move and the sale is being a bit of a b*g*er. Secondly, my work is taking up most of my spare time. thirdly, I am in the middle of changing over to the Dark Side and am converting to an Apple Mac.

Hopefully, things will settle down soon and I will be able to inflict my woeful writings on my unsuspecting public once again.

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Please, how do I do this again?

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So, I think that I might redo some of my stories and resubmit them. OK, so I know how to post them, but I am not sure how to get rid of the old one. Do I just highlight the whole business and then press delete, or is there a better way?

Thanks

Gwendolyn

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got another nice compliment at work

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Well, last night I was telling my co-workers about getting my 2nd opinion, and one of my co-workers said "You should have just asked me - I knew you were totally a girl the first time we met."

I asked "how?" and she said, "It just radiates out of you."

Nice, huh?

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Too many morons to deal with in one day

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I went out today, got my blood work done so my endo will have it when i see him in think in august, had to give a lecture at the nurse because the sticker thingies with my name on them, was my old name, she was arguing that no its the same as my ohip and i pointed out, hell no it isnt, erin amelia and derek joseph are two highly different names, fix the problem!!!, etc, so she did.

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Blind of Love

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Blind of love

Everyone wants me to stay away from him
that he is the worst and he doesn’t love me ...
they say I'm blind of love that I can’t see
I don’t care if he has no money, no job or if he is strange
They say he is playing badly and that I’m his game

I must confess that when he kisses me
the world is spinning inside my head,
I close my eyes and I feel his breath,
my blood burning any negative thoughts.

and I trust, I trust, I trust him ..
I believe him when he says he loves me
I think his love will be eternal
I think he's the finest man in the world

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A Thank You Card

Thanks to everyone who commented on the new episode of Crossdressing Charlie. I was shocked to see that it had nine comments when I logged on just there. Nine comments may not seem a lot to some of the greater, better-known stories that attract high readership and reviews here on Big Closet but I think it is great. Mainly because I could tell I was gradually losing readers but the views are climbing back up better than ever. Thank you all so much.

Be on the lookout for a new Charlie episode next week along with some artwork I will be uploading to my DeviantART account.

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Can't get Skin Horse

One of the delights of this site is the inclusion of the Skin Horse cartoon at the end of the blogs. However, all I get now is an instruction to check validity, which doesn't do anything when I do check it.

Help restore my indulgence with my whacky daily read, please.

Angharad

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Shutter/Shudder A pet peeve.

Okay look. I am by NO means perfect when it comes to word usage, but there are some common mis-usages that occur on a regular basis in a lot of stories.

Lose-Loose

Heel-Heal

Waist-Waste

and on and on.

One that just makes me SHUDDER, is using shutter, or vice versa. One may shudder, but one CANNOT shutter unless it involves a window one is shuttering. Fear can make one shuDDer, not shuTTer. One can shuTTer a window, but cannot shuDDer it.

When I run across one of these mis-used words, it jars me out of the story sometimes.

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My how plans can change


My how plans can change


First off I'd like to thank everyone who helped me our with my last blog. I ended up settling on the name Brynhilde.

On to my main reason for posting this blog...

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Living up to my name

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My online name, Ragtime Rachel, is perhaps a bit grandiose considering I play the piano rather poorly, but there is one piece I play rather well, and that's Scott Joplin's "Maple Leaf Rag." It was the song I heard Eubie Blake playing one day when I was twelve--he did it, as I recall, as part of a PBS special--and from then on, I was hooked, hopelessly, on ragtime. I had never heard anything quite like it, and endeavored to learn to play, simply to play that kind of music.

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The American Museum in Britain

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My ex and I went to see this today. It's based at Claverton Manor just on the outskirts of Bath and literally down the road from the University of Bath - and the RSPCA dog and cat's home.

It's a lovely old house which houses the museum collection, and the most outstanding aspect is the collection of quilting, some of which are awesome and must have taken years to make. I was disappointed that they didn't have more Audobon prints but I suppose they have to change things around every so often.

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Just came home from my 2nd opinion

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Well, I just came back from my 2nd opinion. They called me in just as I was leaving to see the endo doc. He's recommending me for the SRS. So now I just wait until December when I see my regular gender specialist, and he will put me on the waiting list.

I think I'm in shock, it doesnt seem real yet...

I'm so happy I'm crying

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Unexpected AZ Weather

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Today the temp at 9:30 AM was 85 ° F and the sky was completely cloudy. Usually, even with cloud cover, the temp would be in the 90s. Right now, at noon, the temp is 75 ° and we've had light rain with little wind for 2 hours. I think most Arizonans who've been here more than a few years aren't too surprised by this weather, but I figure most of the country expects us to always have daily highs of 105 to 120 °.

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Doctor Visit

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I went to the doctor for a follow up on my elbow and it seems it is not healing properly so it looks like a visit to th O R to put some screws in to hold it in place. I have more nuts & bolts in me than they have at
Home Depot. Think about this 100 years from now someone with a metal detector going over my burial sight is going to think they hit the jackpot or gold pot at the end of the rainbow because of all the steel & titanium I have in me
HUGS-LOVE & KISSES TO ALL MY BCTS FRIENDS

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Added the missing chapters for A Life Ever Changing 3a 3b

I am so sorry about that. Well, it is fixed now and I will be fixing the graphics as well, but they are not that important. The story is now ALL THERE thank goodness.

Huggles All

Angel Angel_Jeans_0.jpg

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Hello from Bob Arnolds sister

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I was sorting throught papers and ran across the note with my user id and thought I would stop by and thank you all for all the kind words and thoughts after Bob's passing. We are getting by day by day but it seems harder this week knowing it has been nearly a year since he left us.

we are still dealing with the bill collectors and lawyers and the bank, but this too will pass.

We finally got up to sorting thru his varied collection of video tapes and dvd's, but there are numeros other things we haven;t had the emotional strenght to get to yet.

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In memory of ....

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Thinking of ... one of my best friends. He was wonderful, caring, and accepting of me. He defended me against the bulling of others when in the Marine Corps.

He killed himself when in the throngs of depressions ... and I have missed him everyday since. I still remember his warm smile and beautiful blue eyes.

I miss him so much!

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Today I see the endo doc

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Well, today I go to the endocrinologist today for a check up. Here is hoping I'm doing okay on the hormones. Its the last step before the 18th when I get my second opinion. I'm going to need a hobby or something to last the next 14 days, or I'll drive myself crazy thinking about that ....

Now would be a good time for my muse to come back from whatever party she's been crashing so I'll have something to do ...

Ah, well.

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Would you pay?

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Hello everyone

I was just wondering if anyone would pay to read the finished copy of Nicole. If you would just email send me a pm. Also which are the good online publishers and do they allow authors to post on free sites like BCTS because I like writing here and i've noticed a couple of people here have stuff in the public domain thats available for sale as well. I won't stop writing for free but monetary appreciation would be welcome!

Sydney Moya

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The Omega Unicorn Chronicles Book 4 Honeymoon Trips By rache

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The Omega Unicorn Chronicles Book 4 Honeymoon Trips By rachel76m Delayed
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By Stanman63
Rachel sent me a P.M. saying that the next chapter will be delayed due to work.



Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

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Today mostly sucked

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First I hear Andy Griffith died.

Then I had to go to work for the last day of a branch office we were closing.

Plus today in 1893 one of my grandmothers was born. Today in 1926 my late mother was born on her mom's 33rd birthday.

And 46 years ago today on my mom's 40th birthday -- her mom's 73rd -- my grandfather, my mom's dad, died.

July 3rd has mixed emotions for me.

John in Wauwatosa

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New Karin Bishop ebooks

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Desperate Measures should be available the 4th of July at Amazon in a Kindle version, and is available now at Smashwords in all formats. And will be trickling out to Barnes & Noble, iBookstore, Kobo, Sony Reader.

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Are they just being polite?

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I was just complimented by a very nice young man on the street today.

That can be a validating, life-affirming moment for any woman my age, let alone a trans one. A reassurance that a man still finds us desirable. It was just the thing I needed, in light of my recent struggles.

I turned and said, "Thank you...." and then my heart sank.

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Writing tips for novels

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I am in a writer's group once a month and much to my surprise, one of the small group is a published author and has written a few novels that I think are doing well. J P Blackmer, does that ring any bells? He writes Scottish fiction set about 600 years ago.

So, now to the point. He said that when he writes a book, he writes a little bit here, and some there, and finally in the middle and when he thinks he has a story then he works out ways to join all the little bits together. Hmmm. I wonder if I should try that?

Gwendolyn

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Andy Griffith dead at 86

As much a part of U.S. culture through the 20th century as anyone could be, Andy Griffith has died.

Story here

Best known as Sheriff Andy Taylor, though not far behind was his role as lawyer Ben Matlock.

Edited to add: The first headline I saw about this read:

Sheriff confirms Andy Griffith dead at 86

And I just couldn't help but think... wait... wasn't HE the sheriff?

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Southern California, Come One, Come ALL!!!!

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I had the opportunity of sharing lunch last month with Erin. One of the things we talked about is:

Is there any interest in a get together in the Southern California area for a potluck?? Erin and I were at one in the San Francisco Bay area last fall. It was a LOT of fun.

And even more fun?? Meeting with others who think the way you do, or who write/read the same genre of fiction!!

Come One, Come all!!!

If you're interested, let me know. We're probably looking at something the end of the Summer.

Hugs and Blessings,

Beth

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Threw myself off my bed today

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I had a nasty flashback/nightmare today (I sleep days, because I work nights).

It was so bad I actually threw myself off my bed and woke up on the floor.

I'm so dam tired of this ....

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The Storm in the Midwest and how it affects me

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I wanted to let you know that my internet is gone, it'll take a good week to get it fixed completely. I'm posting this at my brother's house. Of course this means I won't be able to post my stories as fast as I wanted to. I've got chapter 9 up of The Crossroads. I'm in the process of working on chapters 10, 11, and the final chapter, chapter 12, and I hope to get these posted as fast as I can. Sorry about that!

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Homeless

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I was laid of in Jan 2011 and have tried to find work without much success but thats the case all over the country,I did sign on with up with several employment agencies but have had approx 26 days of work to date.
With only my Army pension I found it difficult to pay the bills and ended up being evicted on 23 April this year so I am living in a tent along with my dogs somewhere on the Pennines.

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Scientific American has an issue out on gender differences

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Well, the magazine "Scientific American" has done an issue on how men and women think differently, and to make things more interesting, they've included stuff on transgendered people. Its a well-written mag, you should check it out if you can.

As an aside, I wanted to thank everyone who sent me a birthday greeting. Thanks so much to you all!

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Vacation & late chapters

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A have a number of chapters that will take longer to post. My poor laptop shuffled off to its mortal coil before I got on my plane :'( im on my smart phone now. Not really condusive to writing long stories :-) I'll be back by the end of the week.

-Elsbeth

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Tomorrow is my birthday

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Well, tomorrow is my birthday, and I'll be an ancient 46 years old. I missed being a Canada day baby by a couple of hours, apparently, but ah, well.

I doubt very much that when my mom carried home this tiny baby boy she ever dreamed that 45 years later she'd be shoe shopping for Mary Jane flats with him ...

Her acceptance of me is one of the blessings in my life, but I have a lot of those, and I'm trying to remember to be more grateful for them. You never know when one of them may go away, after all.

Happy Canada Day, everyone.

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Just out there

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I just Wanted to tell everyone that I have messaged since I created my Account That ur stories have kept me Sane & even more so since My ShadowFax was put to REST.So thanx I guess.

Oh PS I want to say I am sorry to everyone also for alway's bugging u all about when the next chapter of one of ur stories would come out

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SaraUK PG will be late this week.

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SaraUK Project Guardian will be late posting tonight as I haven't had time to get it ready in the last couple of days (family visiting).

I'll get it posted tonight when I get home.

Huggles
Sammi

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Power outage

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As a result of the storms that swept through the Ohio Valley on Friday night, we have been without power for about 36 hours now. They are currently giving estimates of 5-7 days for 90% restoration. Hopefully it will be sooner than that. I will be poking my head in as power and cell service allows.

Samantha

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046) I'm A Beauty School Girl

So I've been looking into the possibility of going back to school, and the interest was in Cosmetology. After some research, I concluded it was going to be either Toledo Academy of Beauty Culture, or Regency Beauty Institute - Toledo. My instincts told me I was going to be going to Regency, but I wanted to avoid any pre-bias before even giving TABC a chance, so I visited them first. Ghettoist Beauty School ever! So that was a... maybe, but prolly not.

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apology to Big Closet

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I wanted to apologize to the Big Closet community as a whole. I have not been a very good friend of the site. Currently I have two stories that are incomplete (A Pinkilicious Birthday and The Cure) and that is quite poor of me. It's not that I intended to start them and not complete them, but that is what has happened. With being robbed and with the legal mess that I am currently going through, I am not in a good state mentally to write anything. Besides that, a slight change in living arrangements has made me even less inclined to write, but I think that is more of an excuse.

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Writing Future

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I have a serious dilemma I've been plagued with as of late. My most recent story, Season of the Witch, is finally winding itself down and I've really enjoyed writing it but suddenly noticed its actually taken me nearly six months to do so. This is by far the longest time its taken me to write a story.

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looking for a story ...

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... that is about a family (of course) ... the child plays a guitar (really, really) good, and is accepted as TG'd. She plays spanish music, and the instrument is an old ... and can anyone help me?

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A Big Thank You

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To everyone who has supported my scribblings by buying either printed or digital copies of Gaby and all the other stuff.

Scaramouch, my publishing house, are celebrating selling 4000 units since they started in 2004, a copy of Wheels 2!

Whilst i'm never going to get rich, it does cover my internet connection costs, so thank you all very much.

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/scaramouch

Maddy

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Schoolgirl Mixup

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Just updated two of the chapters with editors version. unfortantly I do not know who the editor is so sorry if I do not give thanks to him/her.

I get it from a private email and Do not remember the nickname used on BC sorry.

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Our Box just got bigger. Misha Nova

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MOVING

To day we have started our move to a larger apartment and I am a bit on cloud 11 [better than 9] We will have separate bedrooms for the girls, I get a larger bedroom and a walk in closet, the kitchen and living room are larger and we now have a dining area.

The cherry on top of all of this is that it is just down the hall from our smaller apartment.

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More than a little pissed

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Well, I'm upset, and it's upset occasionally when I think about it.

Why? Look at my signature. I've been on HRT for 22 months. You would think that I'd have tits, hips, SubCu fat, thinner face hair, and so on, right?

I don't. I still look like a boy in drag, and when my beard pokes through my makeup, I want to die of embarrassment.

I've been on 1.25 mg of Premarin the whole time. When asked to increase the dose, I was told "this is a marathon, not a sprint."

I had hoped that time would make the damned changes I want, and it hasn't.

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If I could be where you are

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If I could be where you are

Where are you in this moment
Only in my dreams
You’re missing but you’re always
A heartbeat from me
I’m lost now without you
I don’t know where you are
I keep watching, I keep hoping
But time keeps us apart

Is there a way I can find you
Is there a sign I should know
Is there a road I could follow
To bring you back home

Winter lies before me
Now you’re so far away
In the darkness of my dreaming
The light of you will stay
If I could be close beside you
If I could be where you are
If I could reach out and touch you

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my muse has gone

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Well, the creative crash I expected to hit after I finished my novella "Quest" finally hit, and after a couple or month of unbelievable output my muse has decided to take a break. Look up your daughters and wives, cause when she goes on the town, she usually ends up doing something I wish she wouldnt ...

Ah, well.

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Programs for writing

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OK.. I admit it. I'm new to writing and would like some peoples opinion.

While I am working on my story I found that its almost impossible to keep track of my characters along with the story line. I'm not trying to do a SOTP story. I know where I'm going and all.

I've seen some programs that help with the structure, design and such. So what what programs do you guys use? Besides word that is.

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The Bodysuit In Fiction

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The Bodysuit In Fiction
Blog

I have been using the all-purpose bodysuit in my stories to give my characters the bodies that they crave. Now, I know that such an invention would not be made due to the impact on medicine and society as well, it makes for a great story.That is why I am posting a story where it is first made, and why.

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Dancer

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Hi Guys do you like dancing ? This dub step dancer got my attention and I want to share this video with you I'm sure you will enjoy it also. I will say it's a modern urban art show.
http://youtu.be/LXO-jKksQkM
hada-cielo.jpg

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Please help rename this story.

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I would love some help with a story of mine, "Battle Field to Crib". So many people, including myself think that story title is well, lame. So, I would like some suggestions on a new name.

I think I am going to greatly extend this story to 2 or 20 chapters, and if I decide to try my luck selling anything on Amazon or where ever, it will likely be this story, after I publish it here. I like the sweet, gentle story line.

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need new editor (again)

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Well I had it happen again. My second editor, Loki, the one who thoroughly understood the Whately Academy and Bleach universes has told me that due to IRL issues, he can no longer be my editor. The irony is he was exactly the editor I needed. So I ask for a third editor hoping that I get it this time. I need someone who isn't going to write off parts of the story I make as 'silly, goofy, and ridiculous' but who is going to see them as part of the universe. I also need a editor who is at least up to date with the Bleach dub (ep 257) or is beyond it.

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Sorry - too late to do Bike tonight.

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Apologies to all Bike fans, but I was late in from work (worked nearly 12hours) and then got caught with a long phone call from a friend who needed some reassurance. It's now nearly 11.30pm BST so too late to start scribbling, so I'm off to bed, normal service should resume tomorrow.

Angharad & >^^< x2

05Dolce_Red_l_0.jpg

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Hate flying

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Long lines, bad food, government officials feeling you up or patting you down and then sitting in a seat like a sardine for 2 hours. Have I mentioned how much I hate flying :-)

Elsbeth

Ps sitting at my gate right now -sigh-

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I now have a pony tail!

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My mom started fooling around with my hair last night, and now I have an honest-to-goodness pony tail. The ex had a bit of a freak out about it, but that's to be expected.

I kinda like it, though.

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Even more Wishful Thinking

The latest comic is up now, please comment or rate it I like to know what people think about it.

here is the link.

http://wishful-thinking2.smackjeeves.com/comics/

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some help, if possible

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In a few weeks I go for my first appointment for HRT. I am anxious about it, but feel that it needs to be done. My therapist is under the theory that I won't know what my next step after HRT is until I am actually on hormones and I'm inclined to agree with him. There are a lot of hindrances in my journey, mostly my concern about how other people will view me and if I'll be labeled a freak. But it is still a step.

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Experimenting with my look

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think I've reached a point in my journey where I feel confident enough to try out different looks to see what one suits me best. For example, I've been wearing a very subtle plum shade of nail color, and today I decided to try a bold red instead. I'm also looking at hairstyles, to see what I can do with that as well, although I still have a bit of thinness at the front that I would like to cover over as much as it can be.

I think a good step forward for me, and kinda fun besides.

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A very BIG thank you to all my readers!!

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I'd like to say a really big thank you to all the people that took the time to read, comment and Kudos on my 'To Make A Wish' story. I have been busy writing new stories, and one will be replacing 'To Make a Wish', so sadly you won't be getting much of a break from my writing (please feel free to run away screaming now)
I'd also like to say a super big thank you to SamanthaK for putting up with me and my writing, as without her help, I would have given up on my writing more times than I can count. Thank you Sammi *big Hug*

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Strani Amori

Strani Amori

I'm sorry I have to go away
But I knew that was a lie
How much time lost behind him
What a promise and then never changes
Strange loves that bring trouble
But, in reality, we love each one

An expect to a phone call
the adventure of the illogical
the madness of the magical
a poison without antidote
the bitterness of the ephemeral
just because he is not there

Strange love, fragile
captives also accomplice
Strange love, problematic loves
as you do, as I do

I'm sorry I have to go away
But I knew that was a lie
This time I promised I'll do

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'To Make a Wish' will be late this week.

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This is just a quick message to let everyone that is still reading my 'To make a wish' story, that it will be a little late being posted this week. SamanthaK is busy today, and won't be back home until late, and she does all the proofing, editing, posting and a load of other stuff that makes it so you can all understand what I write.

Hugs

SaraUK

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why do I still struggle with my identity?

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Why do I still struggle with my identity? Well, there are a few reasons why. First, because there is nothing feminine in my body - no intersex condition, no lack of testosterone, none of that, which keeps me wondering where does this fem thing come from?

Second, because of my rape and other nasty events in my life, I would be a good candidate for gender issues if environment plays any role at all, so the question becomes, "Would I feel the same if I had been blessed with some positive male role models?"

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Tropical Storm Debbie

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This storm is coming on shore at Cedar Key with is only about 20 miles away from my house . The good thing is at the center the rain and winds are light, we had are rain on Sunday 12 plus inches .This is a dry (wet) run for a hurricane and hopefully this is as bad as it get this year. I have lived here 6 years and this is the first tropical type storm we have had not to bad . Stay dry HUGS EVERYBODY -- RICHIE

That last line sounds like it should be on an AB site (stay dry huggies) LOL

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Anyone heard from Beth lately?

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It has been months I think since I last heard from Beth. I haven't seen her on and know that she was having some health challenges, but appeared to be improving.

Has anyone heard from her?

Gwendolyn

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Seems the dead can still hurt you

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We just passed the anniversary of the death of the person who made my life a living hell for 18 years. Through decades of neglect, he passed away due to lung and liver cancer. There was no way I could say that it couldn't have happened to a nicer person because no one should die that way.

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Blade Runner, The Final Cut

I just watched the last approx. 50 min. of Blade Runner, The Final Cut (2007), which I'd not seen before. I thought it was much longer the the original US theatrical version, but I looked it up; it's only one minute longer, 117 min. vs 116 min.

In the last part of the film, everything was happening more slowly and dramatically. The ending, with Deckard (Ford) and Rachael (Sean Young) driving north on the Pacific Coast Highway, was cut. There may have been other scene missing to give more time to the slower action.

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23 million hits!

I've just noticed on the hit counter at the bottom of the page that we've now exceeded 23 million hits (plus an extra 9,000) since 16th June 2005. Yay us! :D

That works out at about 3 ¼ million hits per year, nearly 9,000 hits per day, 370 hits per hour or 6 hits per minute (have I ever mentioned I like playing around in spreadsheets?)

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End Result

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I just got out of counseling. I am one week closer to going on HRT (July 12th or something like that). The question that keeps being asked, and one that I don't have an answer to, is what is the end result of my transitioning.

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wishing I had someone to hold me while I shake

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The worst part of not being in a relationship right now? Not having someone to hold me while I shake during a PTSD moment.

They're scary sometimes, and hurt all the time, and I ache afterward, but the worst part is going through them alone, when all you want is someone to put their arms around you so you can feel safe.

I love my online friends, and I'm super grateful for their support, and I've been pretty lucky at finding someone to talk to when things have been bad, but I ache sometimes for a pair of actual arms around me, holding me and supporting me.

Ah, well.

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Every time I think of SRS I cry

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Since the possibility of me being able to get SRS has gone up, I find I've been reacting super emotionally to the subject. I tear up talking about it, and even just writing about it is hard because I start crying. I'm scared of the pain, the discomfort, the whole thing, but I want it, I NEED IT ....

Oh crap. Here comes the water works ....

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Cathartic measures

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I ecently blogged I was willing to let another author work on my unfinished stories. Somme one suggested I hold on to them and when I felt better complete them. Today I opened one of my stories and spent some time following the them I am writing about and within two hours I felt better and my story is close to completion.
It was nice to have that cathartic feelng of accomplishing an endeavor.

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HOW DO YOU BUILD AN ARK?

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Well they are telling us after days of saying the storm was going west that now it might come east , in any case we are having very heavy rain (even for Florida standards)since this morning about 6" and the rain will be here for the next 24 to 48 hours.
So if anybody has the plans for an ARK pleases foward them via BCTS - PM the RICHIE2 @ this web site THANK YOU

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