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Author's Note: Picture used with permission from *lavonia on deviantart.

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Chapter 115
 
Jem…Chapter 115

Chapter 115

*Before…

She starts crying and her roomies leave, they leave pretty fast and I hear a muffled oh shit as they seen Davey outside on his bike and we close ranks with her and we hug it all out.
I don’t bring it up again my offer and stuff, and we get the food put away and stuff and we clean stuff up and molly retreated for a while into het room to get her bed made and stuff with Carmen going to help her and I just…
I can’t help it, I don’t like them…I don’t like whatever happened to her, I don’t like not having her close buy where she can be safe and stuff.
Rayne hugs me from behind. “We can only be there for her when she needs us and stuff…it’s her life.”
“I offered her a place with us.”
“I know.”
“You mad?”
“Why would I be mad? It’s you being you Angel. I’m so in love with your heart…besides.”
“Besides?”
“What’s Jem without Starlight House?”

*And Now…
“Starlight House?” It takes me a few minutes to get it as it’s been awhile since I’ve seen the TV show.

No I’m not really worried about myself and copyrights as I’m not quite that person and there is a female singer of the name of Jem with the J already out there too.

“It’s kind of becoming something like that only I’m not a rich heiress that’s helping out with her late father’s legacy.”

“Really well you and your dad are pretty close to the real live version thereof.”

I sigh and lean into her. “Yeah, dad’s great and I can’t help but to worry about my friends and all of the people that I care about and everything.”

“So we need a bigger house?”

“Actually yeah we need a bigger house really but we likely can’t afford one.”

“We might there’s some really old kind of crappy old places around down near us.”

I look at her over my shoulder. “Seriously?”

She nods and then she shrugs. “Hey it’s just an idea.”

I kiss her a little. “It’s a good one but let’s maybe see about getting through the winter and stuff first, even if we could afford something I really don’t want to be doing Reno or finding out all sorts of problems in the middle of the winter.”

Rayne kisses me back and she hug walks me to the van. “Okay, just well like sort of a dream and stuff. Our place was just the first place the Summer and I could afford and stuff with the girls.”

“I get that, it’d be nice to have a fresh start too with things but I’d rather have what we have than just get in way over our heads with another place, I mean the last thing that I’d want is to get involved with a place or person affiliated with Adam’s family.”

“Shit…sorry you’re right.” She hugs me a little tighter and stuff. “Will we ever be free of him and his bullshit?”

“We will, we have Carmen on our side and stuff and when she’s ready we’ll have stuff to pass on too and who knows what Mike’s going to turn up.”

We get to the van and I get my coffee and it’s cold but I’m one of those who can drink it when it’s cold anyway. The trick is either black or with milk not creamer or sugar that makes it taste funky when it gets cold and creamer gives it a skin on it.

I sit with her and Rayne’s sitting in the open side door part of the van more to the inside of it and I’m sitting on the edge and she has her legs around me and her arms around me and she’s doing these amazing nibbly things to my neck and my ears, I mean I’ve always read stuff and like cliché stuff about men nibbling on like a woman’s ears and stuff but I could never actually picture it without getting a whole lot of strangeness in my head.

Well the real thing is so not the thing that was in my head.

What she’s doing is actually kissing right behind my ear like in back of my ear and it’s more like from there she eskimo kisses along the outer edge of my ear and then she does this naughty little bite and pull on my earlobe with her teeth and there’s this little catch…and…pull as she snags my earing just a little but so much in that way that her teeth can sometimes catch me lower lip when she’s feeling like that and she does that light bite and pull away from my bottom lip.

That’s Rayne nibbling on my ear and I’m almost purring like a cat with its ears being scratched and more too since she’s hugging me, well holding onto me from behind and like I’ve said Rayne’s bigger and she’s actually strong too and all of that’s good and so is the way she feels pressed against me almost leaning.

Kim comes out with a case of the grins with Billy and Brooklyn and Mike who are holding hands and I blush a little but they’re actually not grinning about Rayne and I are all in the moment but they’re doing a look back at the house where Carmen’s still at.

Okay, that has me smiling too since I think that as much as they’re trying to play it cool those two there just might be something there or something starting.

And I think that both of them have had a rough go of things. I mean I know Carmen has but there’s also Molly who’s living alone and going to school and she’s been I think on the absolute ragged edge of broke so…

So despite my friends and I and the things that have happened in our lives it’s still not the family normal around here for stuff like that. Most kids around here usually have some kind of family support or something and Molly really, really doesn’t.

I lean back into Rayne a little more. “Okay, before the house and stuff comes along maybe we can see about making sure that Molly makes enough to get the hell out of here?”

“Definitely.” She says as she drags her teeth along the nap of my neck and smells my hair, smells me.

That’s…I know some people it might not be a big deal and all but her smelling me and that sort of deep enjoying inhale of me…it’s such a serious self-esteem booster really.

Rayne makes me feel special, she makes me feel like I’m pretty and attractive to her…and to be attractive to someone is a seriously awesome thing.

When you’ve been on the outside of all of this looking in you really want it. And you really wonder. Rayne takes that what’s wrong with me stuff and crushes it.

And…well if I’m thinking it. “You know you’re pretty awesome right?” I say to her.

“Well it’s been a long time since I felt like I could be awesome for anyone Angel.”

“You are though Rayne, you make me feel good, good about myself and you take that inner bad voice that’s there, the one that’s always got me questioning myself and if I’m good enough and you kind of crush it, hug it out of me and send it away.”

“Y’know you do the same for me too.”

I turn so I can look at her. “It’s easy y’know, you’re easy to love.”

She leans in but I lean up and I kiss her this time first and I kiss her hard and slip my hand up and slide a finger under the arm of her glasses and then over her ear and then the rest of my fingers through her hair as we kiss.

Rayne does that thing with her tongue. That slipping it in but no like sloppily and she grazes my tongue with hers and then she slips it around and then back and there’s this playful flick to the tip of mine that it’s so much like something else and it makes me good shiver and a slight gasp and her hands are rubbing my sides and it’s just…it’s amazing.

Friends around and a late night and my girlfriend and I French kissing on the edge of her van and she’s so sexy and so warm and it’s all just kind of perfect in that teenaged sort of way and everything.

We break it and we’re sort of looking at each other and doing that blood is pumping and boiling teenaged thing and smiling and that’s about the time that Carmen comes out and she’s got her hands in her jacket pockets and it’s in that good way.

In that something good just happened and I’m strutting but not strutting kind of way.

It looks good on her too actually.

I smile at her and she looks at Rayne and I and grins and she goes over to Davey. “I’ll get a ride with Davey if that’s okay with him?” she looks at him questioningly and he passes her his helmet. “Tims?” he asks and she nods.

Kimmie looks and Billy. “I’ll go with you too if that’s cool sometimes three’s a crowd and all.”

He looks at me and Rayne and Mike and Brooklyn and he chuckles. “Sure it’s no problem.”

Rayne gets up and she gets out of the van and opens the passenger door for me and she smiles. “Looks like we’re going on a date.”

“A date, at this hour?”

“I want a date with you.”

I hold my hands up. “Okay, okay it’s just I’ve never heard of a date like this time of night.”

“Does the time matter as long as we’re together?”

“Heck no.”

“Well then beautiful your carriage awaits.”

I smile but I’m blushing too because she said beautiful in front of everyone and yeah it’s all of our crowd but there’s some things that usually just never get said like that sometimes out loud and with people even when it’s people that you know and everything.

It’s a big thing, it is.

And I really had no idea just how much stuff like this was like missing in my life, in the way that it makes me feel.

I didn’t know that I had this medical condition, I didn’t know that I was trans until I was actually exposed to being Angel and finding a whole new way to live and how to breathe…really breathe and to me the best way that I can put it was my life, Jases’s life was a seed in the desert and I was alive and I was a seed but now with my life and getting away from the abuse and finding love and my music it’s like that first touch of rain that starts the flowers growing.

I get into the van and we she gets in her side and she puts on some music and we pull out driving and *Shine* is playing By Collective Soul and that’s a really good song to cruise around town to.

You wouldn’t think that just driving around town and just being together would like count as a date right but it’s actually pretty awesome to do that and listening to good music and yes maybe driving a little fast on some of those straight stretches with no one on them and maybe chirping the van wheels at the lights a time or too.

It’s fun, it’s fun just like singing along with stuff that’s coming and heading out to the Harper’s point pier which is like the biggest kind of sort of touristy thing in the town and it’s just this huge concrete pier with the wooden sides and the great view of the town’s lighthouse.

It’s really early morning and it’s nice out if chilly but the lake looks amazing and there’s all those amazing stars out there. I mean it’s one of the few places in town I think were you’re far enough out that you can get that big sky view and without all of the light pollution the sky opens up and gets to be so big and so amazing.

And that’s our date.

Driving around and holding hands at the pier and just being together and looking up at the stars.

There might have been more but I think I popped the fantasy bubble with me yawning. And Rayne kisses me lightly. “It’s really past our bedtimes and we have a gig tomorrow we should get back.”

I kiss her back lightly. “Mmm…we should.”

I don’t mind at all though when she gets my door again. I don’t ask or expect her to but she seems to like to do that for me and she gets one of the blankets from the back and wraps it around me and turns the heater on full blast as we head home.

We’re that last one’s there, Mike’s card is in the driveway and we have space to park still and we head up to our room and it’s just this sweet soft and sexy moment as we take things off of each other.

Have you ever thought about how intense and intimate it is to take out another girls earrings? Being of so careful and the touching, the eye contact. Or taking off each other’s make-up, that so gentle touch and wipe and make everything clean and fresh and all at the same time the intimacy of the reveal.

And the kissing, and undressing and the touching, just touching not even really sex stuff so much as just really soft and intimate touching, a few kisses on newly bared skin, rubbing away at strap marks and then slipping into the sheets and comforters together and snuggling close and falling asleep to each other’s scent and the sound of each other’s breathing.

I know this sounds like dumb love-struck teenager but that was making love it wasn’t sexual but it was making love or it was to me.

……………………………..Morning comes way too early and it’s late morning at that and I’m so Thanksgiving overed. That’s like being hung over but I’m feeling my hands and my arms from all the peeling and mixing and all of the other stuff and that vague ow but not ow of being on my feel that long.

Rayne rolls over and she smiles and she looks at me. “Ow?”

“Some, how could you tell?”

“You’re moving like you’re in ow.”

“Is it strange that I think it’s like amazeballs sweet that you noticed that?”

“Nope I hope not but that’s the first time that anyone’s said anything that I was doing was like amazeballs sweet.”

I giggle some. “Good thing or a bad thing?”

“Well considering that I’m a girl and that I’m a lesbian it’s a decidedly odd thing.”

“Are odd things good?”

“Odd things are very good, the world would be really sad Angel without the Odd, the Odd is wonderful.”

I giggle and squirm as she slides down my body and kisses my navel. “Yay…!” (Happy-breathy.)

*An hour later…

Okay I feel a whole lot better and I’m dressed and drying my hair and I’m sort of dressed well inserts in place and all of that but just some stuff tossed on with one of the bigger band t-shirts and yoga pants but barefoot and heading for the full pot of coffee.

I’m afraid I end up having a slice of pie for my breakfast and join the girls out in the living room/practice space as we go over our stuff for today’s show and I do some clearing of my voice before getting into singing things and some of it we’re doing with different singers and some as a group.

I love it, I love just even doing this and getting into a really good jam or well jam session really and some of it is just amazing.

We’re just going through another run through when Molly shows up coming through the doors with Mike and some bags of things and she’s smiling some but it gets bigger when she sees a certain someone and then it gets shy and actually they’re both doing that.

I look at the clock. “We should get ready and head down there in time to set everything up and all since this is us doing things sort of unplugged.”

Molly… “Sort of unplugged?”

“Keyboards seeing as we don’t have access to a piano but basically everything else yeah.”

She looks nervous. “I brought some different things…I really don’t know how to do formal.”

Kimmie cracks a can of Red bull. “Makeovers!”

Molly nearly cringes but there’s some shrugs from Rayne and Brooklyn and Carmen’s smiling and does the lace her fingers push out and cracking thing. “Now this, this is stuff I can help with!”

She sounds actually pretty excited by it actually as we start to prep things and she gets things she has and we convert the kitchen and the house into a something sort of a spa.

The only thing is the whole me and naked thing and that’s not really a big deal since she’s busy with the others and I do most of my stuff and I have fun with the facials and Rayne and I do each other’s and that’s fun but Carmen actually really does know what she’s doing when it comes to make-up and hair.

I end up wearing this very soft cream sweater dress I have and matching sandal wedges and some knit look white stockings and it’s kind of cute but it’s also just sort of laid back too and yet formal enough and that’s actually combined with Carmen’s make-up job where she does this thing with gel at the base of my scalp and then out and a hair dryer too at the same time and I have this seriously awesome set of spiked Stevie Nicks hair….and there’s just a bit if pink used around my eyes this time and this almost acrylic looking pvc shiny color of frosted pink on my lips.

I think I look seriously awesome and she does the same sort of magic with the other girls. Kimmie is as long and silky Asian as it gets and she’s so playing on that but going with the little black dress and those dark stockings with the seams and a set of nice earrings that go with her jewelry and a stunning make up job really she looks hot and she looks Asian but she doesn’t look like the whole entire stereotype she looks classy and yet just enough edge for a drummer girl.

And she does this sweet look for Brooklyn too with a nice eye effect with stuff that just makes her eyes pop and then this tumbled yet relaxed kind of curl thing that still shows off that awesome red headed sweet heart look and has all her length showing off and has it paired with this lovely sundress that she was sort of embarrassed to wear from her closet with short sleeves and is all decorated with all these tiny flower blossoms and those tiny wild strawberries.

She’s sort of blushing but she looks really nice and sweet and so not like the girl that’s been through the hell that she’s actually been through. I think it helps that Mike…Mike looks absolutely floored.

And the way that he’s looking at her all sort of stunned and smiling and maybe even close to wet eyed and the way that him looking at her makes her smile is so completely worth it.

And well Rayne. Rayne did everything herself and it’s just kind of so much her now that she did. I mean it’s not like she needs a whole lot of work really but she put it in though. Smokey make-up eye effects that goes with her glasses and her hair loose but in that styled sort of wavy tumble that’s so very much Amy Winehouse and nice piercings too all her nice shined up stainless steel stuff and some of her rings and her bracelets and bangles…not too much but just enough to let everyone know that this is Raven despite the spaghetti strap low cut black dress and that is working with her corsety push up thing that makes her breasts really get this amazing lift and stunning cleavage that has me wanting to do things and at the same time there’s this sort of twinge of I want.

And that dress hugs her curves and she has the heels to match and she just looks so damned amazing.

Carmen goes with a really nice blouse in this green silk shirt kind of way like a guy but not at all with some of her upper buttons undone and showing her skin tone off with the contrast she has a nice set of club slacks with it with the flared bottom and sexy chunky heeled boots and she did amazing stuff with her hair too, think of Janet Mock and that’s kind of it right there.

I’ve never seen her have her hair like that in school either it’s usually pretty reserved and stuff, or to be honest she kept it pretty white because I think that’s what was expected from her parents or likely Adam.

Molly’s in a black tube dress that’s hugging her pretty tightly too and it’s really doing things for her cleavage too and she’s still very not used to this like she said so she has it under her leather jacket and that looks really good actually and Carmen did a nice styling job with her hair and sort of took all the colors and stuff and combined it with this sort of styling that looks way less punker-goth-chick than a cool-queer-chick with a rocking progressive hair do.

I think she liked it though she kept doing that looking in the mirror thing with that is that really me sort of expression that I know way too well.

And the guys and Dad and Mike well they’re there but they’re very guy done up. Dress pants or nice jeans dark t-shirts without logos and showered and shaved and smelling good.

It’s funny how somethings now just don’t feel me but they seem totally alright for the guys. I mean some people might think that all the stuff we did to get ready because we’re girls is a pain in the ass compared to the guys but that not me and it’s not how I express myself.

Wow it’s just good to say that.

We get our things together and we head out to the vehicles with our things and take care getting into them and we head off downtown to The Pine Tree Café and get in early to set everything up. This is going to be a lot less stuff mostly going with the lighting and the computers and the video equipment and Mr. Walker stops and he compliments us several times on how we all look and he looks rather good himself with a better than his usual suit and everything.

I’m doing our stuff too but it’s interesting to watch him and the staff preparing things and doing all the special stuff for the Thanksgiving crowd and all.

Oh and despite all the cooking and stuff from yesterday and all the whole place smells amazing. It’s got that very high end sort of smell going on with the smells of pumpkin and squash all blending with the smells of the turkey and herbs and rolls and bread baking and the table setting look amazing too.

In a way this is so upping our game in a way and it’s making a big event change in our professional band/entertainer portfolios.

I actually never thought what possible exposure and spin off we might get out of this sort of thing might bring up down the road. I slip out to the van and go through some of our merchandise boxes and get some of our business cards.

By the time I’m back people are filtering in and getting seated and we do a final make up check out back and come out and we take our places and once we’re a full house I lean into the mic.

“Good evening ladies and gentlemen and Happy Thanksgiving. I’m Jem and we’re Starlight Butterfly and we’re here with you for the evening and we certainly hope that we can make the night a better one with some music.”

There’s some light applause and some bemused looks on their faces as a lot of people here aren’t our usual audience and then Brooklyn starts us off.

We don’t have the band with all the background so I’m doing keyboards and Brooklyn is doing these long drawn out notes for this on the harmonica and I take a breath and start in with a slow sort of if there was a soft Joplin version of *It’s a Wonderful World* By Louis Armstrong.

I really love this song and fell in love with it the first time I heard it which was with Dad watching Good Morning Vietnam. I just really hope that I’m doing him some justice with this rendition of mine.

The next one we do is. *Everything* By Starlight Butterfly that actually goes over pretty well there’s people listening and no one’s pulling a face like it was bad.

Rayne starts up with Brooklyn with the guitars both acoustics as I sing an unplugged slow version of *Under the Bridge.* By The Red Hot Chili Peppers.

And that’s my hook that lets us lead from that into an instrument and group backed up version of *Truly Madly Deeply* which lends to me at least better to a girl band and done like this we are so…Wilson-Phillipsing it.

And it’s mellow enough for me to go into *Carousel* By Starlight Butterfly. I finish that and trail it off to let Kimmie pick up the next song and it’s something that she’s sung before so it’s just perfect to showcase her singing for them *True Colors* By Cindi Lauper and that’s such a nice soft song that it blends really well into our next song.

Which is *Forever and Always.* By Starlight Butterfly and it’s interesting to see a few of the net-addict people actually googling the songs that they don’t know and the looks on their faces when they see we’re not just doing covers.

And then we back up sing for Brooklyn who plays to the sort of folksy rocker girl sort of image that she’s dressed as while she plays and sings lead for *Everything I Own.* By Bread and she so has this almost Buffy St. Marie kind of sound going on and she has people actually moving a little with it in their seats.

It’s also a really awesome classic rock tune that I think hit a lot of this crowd in their wheelhouse.

And I love that she’s having a really good time and getting to showcase her own talents. I’m smiling at a few of the looks and the talking because I can actually hear them sort of saying/asking. “All of them sing?”

And again with the whole vibe of the song I steep back into place and we slip into a brand new cover for us with *I’ll Follow You.* By Jon McLaughlin. I heard this song awhile back and I really liked it and figured that it’s make a great slow cover.

And then it’s Raven’s turn.

She steps up to the mic as I’m ending my notes and she goes into *Billy Holiday* By Starlight Butterfly and even though this crowd might not be in the usual demographic for being okay with LGBT+ sort of things they seem pretty good with it all…and by all I mean Raven singing it to me.

I return the favor with some Canadiana and some romance by serenading her to *Everything I do, I do it for You.* By Brian Adams.

Then we slow things right down and I start it slow and mostly on keyboard doing the piano thing and I do a slow but steady build up into *I Believe* By Starlight Butterfly, that actually goes over really well with a lot of looks and smiles and some camera flashes.

I finish that and Raven looks at me with a smile and looks at the people and she smiles at them and she double grips the mic and she takes a long slow deep breath and she does her cover of *One and Only* By Adele…and if you can take that accent of Adele’s and just that hint of how it touches her with that sort of English kick and replace it with some of that sultry French barely there hint it’s what you’d have.

Like Nina Simone almost…and she can still belt it out too.

And I’m dancing along just sort of lazily setting the mood but moving with the music and my dancing sets me up for the last song of the night and…

“Last song everyone we had a really great time and I hope you enjoyed yourselves as much as we did.”

I slip into singing and still sort of dancing with the mic as I go into. *Thank You* By Dido one of my favorite artists and a song that I love still and it’s such a great song for something like Thanksgiving.

I trail it off as Mike’s dimming our stage lights and there’s a second of stillness and then there’s a lot of nice applause coming up from the people there.

Okay, that…that was really really different and it was a whole new vibe but this was very cool and it was a lot of fun too.

People start moving and talking and someone actually calls out from one of the tables. “Can you play something for slow dancing? Can you stay?”

Some of the people stop going where ever and I look to Mr. Walker… “Can we sir?” He nods and there’s a smile there. Respect…he deserves it as far as I’m concerned and it’s a great thing to actually show to this kind of crowd base.

I smile out at them as I lean to the mic. “Give us ten minutes to put together a play list and you can all order another bottle for the table or something stronger and one of the absolutely amazing deserts here while we do….go ahead ladies a little slice of some cheese cake…chocolate mousse…cream brule…I knew we will be while we’re talking.”

I do my openest sweet smile and there some servers already headed our way with some things on trays. Mr. Walker does miss much and he’s smiling too.

Yes, just like The Amsterdam I’m promoting the things here. More sales, more tips and even better than that it shows anyone that might have seen us play here or at Jakes that Starlight Butterfly plays well with others.

I smile and sit as Raven passes me this amazing smelling coffee ground and coco nib and sugar topped crème brule.

“So…what are we going to play girls?”