Jem…Chapter 79
 

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Author's Note: Picture used with permission from *lavonia on deviantart.

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Chapter 79
 

Chapter 79

The call with Jenna was exactly what the doctor ordered. We went through the recipe together and just talked. We’re in the same boat with being who and what we are but she was just so…Jenna?

God she reminded me so much of my mom in so many ways.

………………………. “Hey when it get’s bad Angel just think of the things that you have that are priceless in your life. Friends, Love, Lovers, Family, Music…there’s so much we have that we tend to over look when the black dogs are nipping away. But we can’t forget it hon, it’s what really does save lives.”

Me being me here still sort of going through it alone. Well not alone but in that far too often TG isolation….it really helped.

She gave me a whole shining hand up.

And the cinnamon rolls.

It’s a big batch recipe but it’s like this.

Six cups of all purpose flour and two of cake flour and a teaspoon of salt. Just a teaspoon so it doesn’t taste flat then two tablespoons of baking powder not soda and that’s the dry ingredients which you mix together.

Then one cup of sugar blended in with two eggs and you cream/blend them together and four cups of warmed not hot milk and mix those together with two tablespoons of yeast and she said just stir the wet stuff gently about a minute gently to mix in the yeast and let it stand five minutes.

You mix the wet with the dry and you let it rise like bread dough. It’s sort of like Brioche bread really with the sugar and the egg. But one you have it raised you mix it down and roll it out like a big rectangle.

Then its lots of real butter and a mixture of brown sugar and cinnamon and a little nutmeg and to my surprise just a sprinkle of water and some salt too. Then you roll it up like a jelly roll and then cut the slices and you let them sit and proof or raise again for another half hour and then you can bake them.

This recipe will get you about eighteen one inch slices and they’ll be about four inches wide and I recommend six to a normal cookie sheet and bake them at 325 fara for forty minutes.

The icing is just odd but good just bring two cups of water to a boil and a teaspoon of white vinegar then two cups of icing/confectioners sugar and take it off the heat and add in a block or two cups of cream cheese. The vinegar is oddly the key as it breaks that oddly starchy thing you get with powdered sugar.

Let the icing get to room temp before you plaster the hot rolls with it.

Yum.

Oh I mean seriously yum.

And that’s got me in a better mood and I’m in my idea zone so I take some popcorn and start popping lots of it and some butter melting it and then I get some chilli powder and a bit of cumin a little, really little nut meg and I dice up some jalapenos and get some brown sugar and add it all together and put it out in our shallow baking tray in the over until the sugar melts.

Then I set it out to cool by pouring it out on waxed paper…once cool it’s…crunchy-buttery-sweet in that caramel brown sugar way then the spices add flavor and then you get the jalapeno near the end and you get just enough sweet to knock it back to tolerable. It’s actually perfect after I toss them with just a little salt. It makes you want more of it and it makes you want to drink.

I’m going to try to sell this to Jake at the Amsterdam pub, well the recipe if he’s interested.

I tidy up and start some supper well to get it ready and I trim up and chop veggies up for a stir fry cabbage and carrots, celery and zucchini along with a little bit of onion and garlic for flavor and instead of doing meat I think with the cinnamon rolls that I’m going meatless tonight and I take some more mushrooms and slice them a little bigger than before and I add a little bit of really hot water and toss in a black tea bag.

Mushrooms soak flavors and black orange pekoe is good for this kind of thing and then I let them steep together and make some rice in the rice cooker or well get it started. By the time I’ve got that done I take out the tea bag add a teaspoon of dark soy and some garlic powder and black pepper and toss them in that then dust them with flour and pop them in the oven.

The idea is the flour absorbs the liquids and bakes off leaving you with a nummy sort of chewier textured shroomy bit in place of meat.

Don’t get me wrong I like meat too but sometimes it’s okay to go a little lighter and healthier too.

That reminds me we need milk and yogurt. Now that the girls are getting used to it we go through some good stuff a lot more.

Okay that all set I go and get changed and showered and cleaned up and head down to set everything up for practice and for a change I send the girls the playlist over the phone with the music too and stuff and we text a bit and compare notes and stuff.

And I spend the rest of the afternoon getting my clothes ready and then just playing and singing to myself then looking up more TG sites and reading even logging in and commenting. It’s nice to know that there’s other people like me out there that have had days like this too.

And the voice stuff is really interesting there links to sites and even You Tube videos and stuff and a whole lot of people on there like me and even around my age talking and stuff about…well everything.

It’s really a whole other side of my universe that I never really thought about not even after I knew.

Y’know most people me included think or thought that there’s this whole fetish thing or porn thing to these places when it’s stories and shared voices and feelings and yes some fantasy.

I hear the car pull in with the girls first and I go and I start the food. Water’s the key to a good stir fry you just want enough to splash into the wok to make bursts of steam and keep things moving and not use a lot of oil and just before that is done I take a small jar and some corn starch and water a pinch of onion powder and salt and shake it up until it’s a thin milky looking slurry and I dump it in with the mushrooms out of the oven and stir really fast and take it off the heat.

That glossy sauce in stir fry and chow mien is the corn starch I add the little bit of onion powder and salt just to keep it from tasting starchy.

I’m tossing it all together and doing all of this when I hear the Squee of “Ohmygod what smells so frigging awesome!?” Kim definitely and they both come in and are heading for the cinnamon rolls and I have to chase them away from them.

“Hey! Supper’s nearly done save it foe dessert okay!?”

“No way hose these are absolutely awesome did the guys bring more?”

“No I skyped with Jenna and she taught me.”

Brook’s smiling at me and actually leaning over the wok smelling the food. “That’s awesome, so you are going to make them again some tine right?”

“Yeah sure.”

“Show me sometime.”

I hug her. “It’s a family recipe, hell yes I’ll show you.”

She hugs me back pretty tight and takes a cinnamon roll.

“Hey!”

She grins and garbs Kimmie. “We’ll spit it okay? They’re just too good to pass up.”

“Okay, okay supper’s in ten okay.”

“M…’kay” They both say their mouths full.

I’d be lying if I said part of me is more than happy about them being like this.

I pour it out over a platter and am getting the rice when Rayne pulls in the girls are coming down too and I’m setting the table and stuff and my heart does this little skippy aww…

Rayne came in from work and she brought me flowers. Not the fancy store bought either but the she stopped by the side of the road some place and picked them herself and made the bunch herself and it’s so much the gesture.

I take them. “Thank you…” We kiss and she gently pulls me into her arms and hugs me with this little back and forth dancey sway. “I was thinking about you today and you just seemed down.”

“I was but I’m better now. I skyped with my cousin Jenna out west and it helped. But this…” I lean into her and sink into her arms and her body in this hold me way. Scary kind of because it’s never been part of me before and it’s one of those me being angel things…Rayne holds me tighter and it’s good…it’s that getting to feel safe and protected and being me and there’s no fear or shame attached to it… “This is just exactly what I think I’ve been needing most of the day.”

“Good because I’ve never wanted to be here and be the person holding you on these bad days so much before.”

“It is a very, very yay thing honey…I love it.”

It is and she just holds me like that until the girls come in and we part with a kiss and I get a…I get a milk pitcher one of those plastic ones for bagged milk because in a house full of women we don’t own any vases.

I do smell them a few times and it’s girly and well it’s just me and it’s very nice to not have to worry about doing stuff like this. I never really worried about it but it never really occurred to me to do something like stop and smell the flowers/Roses.

I need to by a blank book or journal. I’m going to press and save these. They’re the first flowers that Rayne’s ever given me.

Hmm…maybe even dried I can put some in a vial for a necklace? Keep them like that forever and with me. I smile and like the sound of that.

The meal goes over well and we talk about the gig and school and the talk with Jenna and her little cutie Giselle and even her friend Iggy and stuff there and since the computer’s there in the kitchen I bring up some of the pictures that she’s sent me of her and her family and The Maverick and stuff. We all agree that Taylor’s pretty hawt looking everyone seems to like the food even if there’s no meat.

And I make the best rice that anyone’s ever had in the house outside of a restaurant. Apparently the few times her mom tried to cook. Kim’s mom had made a mess out of the rice even with a rice cooker.

We put stuff away and we go for coffee and them practicing our sets going through and double run through and then dessert before we all go and get cleaned up and changed.

I get changed into a black lacy bra and corset number that I bought for like forty and my leatherette pants and I go heavy on the bangles and some rings and some necklaces really going for the show off my “cleavage” and the whole rocker look and smooth it out with my pink adidas girls hoody. I’m wearing my ankle boots with a two inch heel.

I get whistles from the girls and the guys are there and dad’s giving me this huge grin and thumbs up.

“What?”

“You, you really look like the girls that were into rock when I was your age.”

“Hey I’m working the Jem thing so year the hair and stuff all comes with it.”

“Nothing wrong with that kiddo I like it and besides it’s the fashion again right?”

“Sort of…I’m like North American Vintage rock meets Indy and J&K pop.”

He holds his hands up. “Okay…..way passed me.”

We laugh and get packed up and stuff and I’m packing up the popcorn oh and Billy and Davey are in the kitchen eating some of the cinnamon rolls and my popcorn. “Yep definitely a Powers.” Billy says and Davey holds up one of the bags of popcorn. He gives a thumbs up but doesn’t say anything with the mouthful. Billy looks at him and nods. “Yeah we’re taking some of that with us when we go home; you might just have to give Jenna the recipe for that.”

“Well I was planning on trying to sell the recipe.”

Billy looks at me. “How much?”

“I don’t know…why?”

“Because this would be good for the club out home.”

“You want it?’

“Yeah and a beer to go with it right about now.”

“Deal you can have it then.”

“No…I’ll buy it off of you.”

“No, you guys have done way above and beyond it’s a gift.”

“You sure?”

“Yes William I’m sure.” I lean over and kiss him on the cheek then take the index card with the recipe on it and slip it into his leather jacket.

He blushes a little but smiles. “You and Jenna are certainly family y’know…all heart.”

Okay my turn to blush.

We pack up and I still take the popcorn as a gift and we all drive convoy style to The Amsterdam and we head in through the back doors and through the supply room and past the kitchen and start setting up.

It’s loud and it’s Friday night getting on towards seven o-clock and there’s a really good sized crowd there just having a good time and cutting loose on the weekend. It’s a totally different kind of crowd than at the Pine Tree its way more blue collar and older too.

We’re just starting to set up when Jake comes over. He looks a bit more cleaned up than the last time I saw him and he gives me a small smile.

“You girls came. I wasn’t sure with the stuff I heard happen after your last gig here.”

“That was something else Jake its okay we brought our own security. We had a deal remember.”

“Oh…yeah I wasn’t saying that I thought that you wouldn’t show Angel.”

“I thought you just sort of did?”

He blushes. “It’s just…I was worried okay…?”

“You never called.” I smile and dimple at him and he gets even a bit redder.

“I a…” he’s looking at me and he’s looking at Rayne and then me.

“Here have some popcorn Jake. You’ll like it it’s spicy and sweet.”

“Okay…” He takes one of the bags and starts munching on it and Rayne grins at him. “Tastes better than foot?”

He chokes and blushes some more and he nods over and over and reaches for his beer.

I put the other bags of popcorn down on the closest table. “I made some for the place.”

He coughs and swallows. “It’s good but we have food here.”

“I was working stuff out for like a bar snack. And came up with this and well I kinda already sold the recipe…sorry.”

“Oh…well okay it’s good though but why didn’t you just keep it?’

“Well it’s still pretty a pretty good bar snack and stuff so I thought I’d bring you a present.”

He blinks at me mid mouthful and he looks like he’s going to stop blushing again or start choking. He takes a big inhale through his nose. “Okay…I…I’ll let you girls get to it then.”

He takes the popcorn and leaves setting it out on tables and looking over at us and at me a lot.

It’s so weird to have this going on and while Jake seems like a nice guy he’s way too old but having the power of girl-flirt is kinda awesome.

Rayne leans over to me. “Yeah…it seems that he actually still likes what he’s seeing.”

“Well he can like all he want’s girly I’m taken.”

“Good…”

“You sure? I mean with everything with summer is this alright?”

“Yes…there’s things you just need to experience okay?”

Kim’s got her stuff setting up and she does this pose thing. “Just because you look hot and sexy one does not just simply jump into being a woman.”

It takes me a minute before I’m rolling my eyes it’s that Boromir LOTR thing that you see on Facebook. That “One doesn’t just walk into Mordor.” thing.

Brooklyn snerks apparently getting the joke and Mike facepalms. “Aaugh! Bad Kimmie just bad.”

We all sort of laugh and Rayne looks at me. “It’s okay besides it has some benefits.”

“Benefits?”

“Mmm…like him being into you and being a guy and me doing this…..”

She leans over and kisses my long and slowly but she’s doing that brain melty thing where her tongue is having sex with mine.

And Jake’s so watching.

Actually he’s so watching he nearly walks into one of the waitresses.

Giggle.

I’ll admit that it’s fun and that it’s scary too doing this and Jake, well I mean it’s not like there’ll ever be anything but what it is now but. There’s something in the experience of this that just feels…

I dunno but Dad’s watching me and he’s looking at Jake and he’s got an odd look on his face. I go over to him and hug him. “It’s okay Daddy we’re just having fun…I got to learn this stuff remember.”

“But you’re with Rayne?”

“Who knows all about this…its okay…all a part of the learning curve like you and feeling like this.”

“Yes well just so you know I’m going to be watching him.”

“Good, I need to have that too y’know. Little girls need their daddies to make them feel safe.”

He hugs me really tight and when he lets me go Brooklyn and Kim are waiting for theirs and even Rayne gives dad a hug.

She’s still the most on the outside of the relationship with dad even more than Brook. I think Rayne was really hurt by the stuff back home with her family and losing her dad while she was here and all the bullpucky that happened with that.

It’ll take time I expect.

We get ready and by the time we’re ready to start people are in full swing having eaten and stuff mostly and now were having the drinks and starting to cut loose.

So we open up with some rock and stuff that you can shimmy and shake too. We open up with a great little classic rock tune By Sweet.

(Are you ready, Rayne?)
(Uh huh)
(Brook?)
(Yeah)
(Roxy?)
(Okay)
(Alright ladies - let's go!)

It's been getting so hard living with the things you do to me
My dreams are getting so strange - I could tell you everything I see
I see a man in the back - as a matter of fact his eyes are as red as the sun
And the girl in the corner - let no one ignore her - she thinks she's the passionate one

(Oh yeah)

It was like lightning
Everybody was frightening
And the music was soothing
And they all started grooving

(yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah)

And the man in the back said, "Everyone attack!" and it turned into a ballroom blitz
And the girl in the corner said, "Boy, I want to warn you it'll turn into a ballroom blitz"
Ballroom Blitz
Ballroom Blitz
Ballroom Blitz
Ballroom Blitz

Reaching out for something - touching nothing's all I ever do
I softly call you over - when you appear there's nothing left of you
And the man in the back is ready to crack as he raises his
hands to the sky
And the girl in the corner is everyone's mourner - she could kill you with a wink of her eye

(Oh yeah)

It was electric
So frantically hectic
And the band started leaving
'cause they all stopped breathing

(yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah)

And the man in the back said, "Everyone attack!" and it turned into a ballroom blitz
And the girl in the corner said, "Boy, I want to warn you it'll turn into a ballroom blitz"
Ballroom Blitz

(Oh yeah)

It was like lightning
Everybody was frightening
And the music was soothing
And they all started grooving

(yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah)

And the man in the back said, "Everyone attack!" and it turned into a ballroom blitz
And the girl in the corner said, "Boy, I want to warn you it'll turn into a ballroom blitz"
Ballroom Blitz
Ballroom Blitz
Ballroom Blitz
Ballroom Blitz

It's, it's a ballroom blitz
It's, it's a ballroom blitz
It's, it's a ballroom blitz
Yeah, it's a ballroom blitz

*Ballroom Blitz* is actually a song that I’ve been wanting to do ever since we got this gig and I just couldn’t shake Tia Carrera in Wayne’s world doing this cover.

And with the crowd this cement’s us in the whole frame of rocker chicks.

Next we play is another fave of mine and it’s just good. *You really got Me.* By the Kinks and that’s starting the move and shake, the air instruments and a few dancers are getting up to dance.

Good because this next one is a rock dance groove song. *I Love Rock and Roll.* By Joan Jett…this has that whole bar crowd yelling along the stomp or the clapping and me getting into both and dancing…I’m finding a girl dancing a rocker girl power tune sort of at the crowd will pull other women to shake it too.

That’s a good sound slide into us doing. *Stone cold crazy.* By Queen and that lets me shift it over to *Raise Your Fist.* By Starlight Butterfly.

And into some good Canadiana rock with. *Life is a Highway* by Tom Cochrane.

We go right from that into *Raise a little hell.* By Trooper a song that I think that you can’t have a summer in Canada without hearing this on any classic rock station. And that kind up mood slips right into that back and forth slide your body beat and guitar of *Rocky Mountain way* Bt Triumph.

And we end the first set of the night with a harder rocking version of *Please don’t go* By Starlight Butterfly.

We break to a lot of clapping and we grab some waters and I’m peeling off my hoody and there’s a few whistles as I do that considering I’m in the bra and corset top combination under the hoody and hey…I do look good.

I feel all pumped and charged and sweaty too but that’s all part of the business and we go for a quick pee break too before getting back up there.

I step up to the mic it’s nearly nine and I smile and wave to everyone and they cheer and whistle back I actually see some of the college kids her which is surprising but cool to see.

“Hey everyone!”

“Hey!” They say back.

“Well we still feel like parting tonight or what!”

There some yells a whistles and I smile. “Well okay…how about…”

We break right into *AC/DC* By Joan Jett which is fast and flirty and just kinda hot and fun as hell to sing really and I got from that into *So What* By Pink which is always a good tune especially with the chanting at the start of that and I’m kind of dancing and kind of banging it out with the crowd.

The Raven and I are singing a bit harder version of *Rich Girl* By Gwen Stephanie with me singing Gwen’s part and Raven doing Eve’s part and I’m dancing rather that playing and the girls are backing me up. I know it’s not a hard rock song but do it a little deeper a little smokier and well Eve and Raven’s spots just fit so I thought it was a good song choice.

We switch over to a more funky rock with deep girl rock roots and we play. *Magic man* By Heart a really good band and one that to me is the Led Zeppelin of women.

Then we go from that to *Bitch* By Meredith Brooks another hard rocker chick tune and then our version of *I need you tonight* By INXS which they eat up as good as they did the other night we did it.

And just to end the set a song By Cher who I am not a fan of generally but this is one of her best songs and we slow things down with. *Just Like Jessie James.*

And that’s just over another half hour of hard rocking kind of songs. I shake my hair free of my face and talk into the mic. “We’re going to take a few minutes and we’ll come back and play something with a little more groove and something you can slow dance to.”

It’s more clapping and more whistles which are coming from most of our regulars but that’s sort of been spreading too. we wave and we head off to another bathroom break and getting hydrated and a make up repair job and we come out and we set up the stuff for the slower sets and I’m still wanting to go with a more of a rock show so the lights go dim and Brooklyn starts with me then Kimmie and then Raven as we open up again with. *Closer to the heart.* By Rush.

I’m singing and yes in the right voice, in my kind of Jan Arden way this song does work with a female singer. And yeah when it’s not all Geddy Lee’s powerful voice you can dance to it.

Then we slide over and into *Lover of Mine.* By Alannah Myles with me singing and then we got from that to *Life in a Northern Town.* By the dream Academy and that lets us slide over to raven and her stepping up to the mic as she opens into *One and Only* By Adele.

And we go into song after song with…

*Billy Holliday.* By Starlight Butterfly but Raven singing.

*Forever and Always* By Starlight Butterfly with Raven singing.

*Black Velvet.* By Alannah Myles and sung by Raven.

*Right here waiting for you.* By Richard Marx with me and Raven doing it as a duet together I really do think this is a romantic song.

We actually step back and we left Brooklyn come up and I say into the mic. “Hey Mike…” and I move back and take the keyboards as Brooklyn’s biting her lip and has her fists balled up tight as she sings to him. *Open Arms.” By Journey.

Lying beside you, here in the dark
Feeling your heart beat with mine
Softly you whisper, you're so sincere
How could our love be so blind
We sailed on together
We drifted apart
And here you are by my side

So now I come to you, with open arms
Nothing to hide, believe what I say
So here I am with open arms
Hoping you'll see what your love means to me
Open arms

Living without you, living alone
This empty house seems so cold
Wanting to hold you, wanting you near
How much I wanted you home

But now that you've come back
Turned night into day
I need you to stay.

(Chorus)

And I am almost crying at the expression there on his face. I mean there’s just this look on his face that if he wasn’t hopelessly, madly, completely he is now. Brook really sung the heck out of that one just feeling those lyrics and putting herself into it so she could tell Mike just how much she loves him.

We switch over again and we play. *Oncology* By Starlight Butterfly and those that don’t know it…it’s an older crowd…there’s a lot of people here looking like this one’s hitting home.

“Hey everyone, we’re just about done here for the night so we’re just going to play a few more tunes and give you a taste what we’ll be doing tomorrow night.”

From that I go into one of my favorite older bands and we play. *Life ain’t easy.* By Dr. Hook and The Travelling Medicine show.

And we go from that to. *As long as I can see the light.* By CCR

It’s late it’s almost midnight late and when we close it down with our *One for the money two for the show.* There’s lighters and people swaying and we get a whole lot of applause which is really great to get and the pub’s going to be open late and I see a whole lot of people just going to be waiting around to talk to us.

It’s still going to be a long night yet….closing’s at three on a Friday night. I look at the girls.

“We stay and play?”