Jem…Chapter 30 Part 1

Chapter 30

I watch Mike walk away and honestly I’m in a dazed kind of shock. He kissed me and there was this so different a feeling than anything that I could have ever described in my life.

But it was soft yet strong, short yet time seemed to slow down and it was so, so very intense. I could feel his stubble something I’ve never been able to grow. And there was the smell of him or rather the scent of a guy and I’ll admit that strong earthy musk mixed with aftershave and coffee from him drinking it before he kissed me and the lingering scents of the garage.

It was nice and it wrapped itself into my senses like Mike’s fingers did when they slipped through my hair just a little and it felt good.

It felt good to be wanted like that and to feel that gentle respect from him even if I…no maybe because I know he’s a dangerous person.

But it’s so much of a lie too.

He thinks I’m my Step-sister of half sister. My or rather Jason’s. He’s reacting to me like I’m a girl that he likes and I’m not that person. I’ll really never be that girl that he’s built me up in his head as being.

Honestly that’s enough to make me cry but I don’t.

I can’t, I just have to deal and find a way to not have Mike and me go there because it could turn out really badly.

Or...

God just fucking shoot me now.

FML.

I take another drink of coffee and I go in and switch stuff out of the oven and I put in the other things and set the timer and my watch and head back outside to where I was sitting and pick my guitar back up and just play. Nothing in particular but run myself through chords and tunes and melodies that I’ve learned or just played with getting good and lost in the music.

Mike, Raven…the way that I’m trapped between them and it just feels like I’m trapped almost as much as Jason was in the shit in his life now with the shit that’s happening to me now.
I really never wanted this, any of this I just wanted to live my life, Jason’s life but I just got shoved between a rock and a hard place and thought that I had found a way out but instead I’m here.

Cooking, cleaning, not really minding either that much and wearing a dress that I like while still actually being a guy enough that the best girl I have ever met in my life can’t be with me because she’s a lesbian and then finding out that I’m seriously attracted to a guy that don’t know I’m a guy and he’s likely the best guy that I’ve ever known in my life and it’s equally impossible and I’m trapped here in hiding because of this rich sociopath and his demented but way too influential family.

Screwed…

I make the oven trip twice more and just run myself through all sorts of guitar tricks actually trying to get better and push myself and when my fingers start to hurt and to burn I stop but go and get my keyboard form the back porch where Raven is at and she’s got her head in several piles of papers with scribbles of both lyrics and sheet music and the laptop going with her looking at our sites and watching something on You tube.

She’s got her dark rimmed glasses on and her hair loose and she’s seriously into it.

I get my own notepad just one of those big yellow notepads and I head to the kitchen and instead of more coffee. I make myself a pot of Earl Grey Tea and I slice a lemon and toss it in sugar and then half goes in the pot and then the teas bags and then the rest and while the kettle is boiling I muddle they a bit with a wooden spoon. This is my own thing, it’s likely not proper but the sugar gets the juices coming out of the lemon and the muddling (beating it) with the wooden spoon gets the oils out of the peeling. I don’t really care if they break the tea bags because I’ve drank loose leafed tea before.

I love the smell of this as the boiling water hits it and the bags didn’t break. I get myself some more bread and some peanut butter and eat it while I let it steep and set up my keyboard.

Once I’m done I put the rest of the stuff, the last of the baking at least into the oven and I sit done and try to get rid of the stress and stuff going on inside the way that I usually do.

I write.

*Everything…*

Oh it’s 5AM and there’s this haze coming from the streetlights…
Pre-morning twilight..
It’s 5AM and I’m looking at you in The Great Lakes fog, you’re so amazing…
You are stunning.

I can’t believe the luck I’ve had.
When we found each other, crying out on the sands…
Of the lakeshore…Broken….
We though we were so broken.

I thought no one would understand.
But you were there and I was there and…
We fell, inside each others eyes…

(Chorus)
Oh Darling, oh my beautiful…
It’s when I touch you, it’s going to be alright.
Everything’s alright.
Oh Darling! You are so beautiful…
And when I kiss you, oh when you kiss me…
It’s our first time….it’s everything…

And all we did was go out to eat.
Kiss hold hands and walked the streets.
Until morning, until sunrise.
By the lakeside.

(Chorus)

Oh we’ve been out all night.
Just like the day we met.
And nothings changed and there’s no regrets.
Because it was perfect, oh god this is perfect.

(Chorus)

(Chorus)

It takes me a little longer to play it out and work out the rough spots and picture things in my head with the sheet music and for each of the girls but it turns out kind of nice with this almost updated Joni Mitchell kind of wistfully romantic kind of sound that be good to listen too or even dance too.

It took enough time and I go inside and set the table and get the dressing and other things for the Supper in the top over and then take the turkey out of the oven. I’m rewarded by a blast of steam from everything being sealed in ant the bird is really cooked but it’s steamed cooked mostly so it’s really moist.

I baste it with some of the pan liquids and take just a bit of them out and in a bowl I add just a bit of cornstarch and water then use a basting brush to coat the bird in the mixture that tastes like the turkey gravy should but it goes on like a mop they use on BBQ. This was something Mom had picked up from some girl she went to college with see this stuff in the oven makes the coating for the turkey skin and will actually keep the bird from drying out while it’s in to get browned.

I have another tea and after all of that my head’s a lot clearer. I slip into the office and call out to the garage. Brooklyn answers. “Hello Powerhouse garage?”

“Hey its angel could you let everyone know that supper will be ready in about forty minutes?”

“Sure, y’know when the wind blows right we can kind of smell it over here.”

“Yeah, it was like that when Mom was here cooking too.”

“Hey sorry I’m not helping and stuff it’s just…”

“It’s okay Brooklyn it’s cool besides you’re not just getting to spend some time around some decent guys but you’re kind of prepping Dad to get used to living with a bunch of girls being around.”

“Still he’s you’re Dad.”

“Yeah and as he’d tell you too. Sometimes being a Dad doesn’t stop with your own kids.”

“Yeah he’s already said that…he’s a really good guy…I didn’t know that there were guys out there that were like him.”

“Hey…”

“Sorry, sorry…but you’re that kind of guy and girl…uhm person too…everything that you’ve done, doing…I mean who dives into traffic to save a friend without thinking for their own safety.”

“Brooke…”

“Okay, I’ll stop…Jason…”

“Uhm can you do me one more favor?”

“Sure hon name it.”

“Can you get Mike on the phone?”

……………………………………

“Hey, you wanted me?”

“I’ve at least thought about it Mike but not for this.”

“Okay… (Chuckle) fair enough what do you need?”

“I need you to just think about something for me?”

“Sure what?”

“Mike…I’m Not my sister…”

“Huh……………………………………….oh…..”

“Yeah…….”

“Oh………….”

“You said that already.”

“Yeah…shock…it’s you look….”

“Yeah…..”

“And I kissed you….”

“Yeah…that’s why I’m letting you know…it’s not fair with you here to help me and you being a stand up guy and everything.”

“Oh…uhm…thanks….?”

“Mike…?”

“Uhm yeah?”

“It was still a really good kiss….”

“Are you?”

“Never though about it at all until you showed up in town…”

“Really…?”

“Yeah…listen I’ve got to go and do things to my bird so I’ll see you at supper.”

“Uhm…a….”

I hang up shaking a little but feeling lighter about it all inside. Oh and yes the whole bit about my bird was to tease him even if I do have to baste and mop the turkey some more.

I know I’m being a bad girl but I honestly don’t think that Mike’s the kind of guy to flip completely out about things and yet he was thrown by what I told him and even admitted to so…I just couldn’t help myself.

I feel actually a lot better now that the truth is out there and we can be sort of ourselves around each other at least around here at the house. Oh and the phone, it’s the line from the office in the house to the garage office and it’s not connected to the outside lines. So both conversations were private.

The rest of the time goes really quickly between getting things set out on the table and getting the garnishing stuff on the platter for the turkey. I just take some dressing and use it in the middle, the turkey will sit on that and stay put on the platter for Dad to carve.

Next is just me taking some slices of bread and dipping them in the fat from the liquids off the turkey and frying the bread in that until it’s all lovely and crispy and brown then some of the best looking cooked carrots from the roaster, some lettuce leave and just sort of arrange it all out then set carefully the turkey on the platter.

Even I’ll have to say it looks great with this really nice thick brown-gold skin on it that’s like really flavored like roast turkey but looks like that great skin you get from like Chinese crispy duck.

The gravy is the last thing that I make and I use paper towel to sop up the floating greasy bits then I put all the veggies, the apple from inside with the herbs into the food processor them blend them into mush them mix it back into the liquids. I let it get to a boil on the stove top then strain it all into a bowl. Then it’s some butter in the roaster, some flour until it gets browned in the butter and a dash of creamer it’s really kind of french or something but the cream is just there well as cream but to keep the browned flour from burning until I add the juiced from the bowl stirring with a whisk and all that roasted turkey/apple/veg/herb flavors mix with that nutty toasted flour and cream and butter…

Hey…

I’m Canadian…. Gravy is literally in our blood.

Everyone’s in finally and showered and I’ve got the whole dining room table spread out and even the insert put in and the good dishes and china out because they haven’t been use since Mom had died and there were people over at the house and everything so it’s all really nice and it’s not the holidays it’s just one of those every once in a while big family Sunday dinners.

The look on all of their faces and everything is so worth it. And there’s this look too though on Mike’s face when he looks over at me like he’s thinking a lot of heavy stuff over and when he’s not looking at me though he’s sharing a look between him and Brooklyn?