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Signs of progress?

On this journey there can be several signs of progress. In the past year I've had plenty of them. I started counseling roughly a year ago, got on hormones, came out, somewhat transitioned to full time, started electrolysis.

Those are all good things. There is also external progress. Longer hair, more feminine features, doing work on the voice, learning to walk and carry oneself. Also very good things.

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so i could use some advice

so im a bit neurotic and never had the courage to do so before but ive found a very supporting friend. Well she been helping push my comfort zone. Ive decided to try dressing in private and was wondering if there was a really good online store to find breast forms and the such.Tried amazon and they were like here ya go have double ds

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ATTN Buffalo T folks. I need help. Not monetary.

I have a transman in Buffalo who is at his wits end. He is a friend and has been run around by Social Services and every other agency he's tried to go to for help. I need a therapist who can help. You can PM me here at Top Shelf. He has no insurance and barely enough money to get by each month... barely.

This is someone I've known since his birth, the child of one of my best friends who can't help either because he's in Japan and struggling to get by there.

Please, I am begging. Someone point me to someone who can help.

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YES!

YES! My head has stopped hurting as much and ideas are starting to flow and I already have over 1k written for the next chapter. It is moving slowly but surely in the direction of getting completed. So yes, story is moving towards getting done and I am not dying due to my head exploding. Life is good.

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sailing to Girlland

many of you may not be old enough to remember a TV mini-series called "Shogun". The series was interesting for one reason - when the main character finds himself marooned in Japan before Japan had much if any contact with the west, they showed the first couple of episodes without translation - no subtitles, no voice dubs, the Japanese spoke Japanese, and the audience was to be drawn into the main character's confusion.

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Books available

Things are going really well and I am still plugging away at my academic/religious work "The Transsexual at the Cross: Disproving the myth that transsexuality is wrong" It isn't that long, but very intense on research and logic, therefore also very draining. I have to decide a lot of important factors.

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An Introduction

I just posted my first story here last week, and figured it would be nice to introduce myself. I've been lurking here for a few years, and enjoying some truly excellent stories - thank you all very much. I'd recently changed jobs, and the new position is much less demanding than what I'd done previously (pays more, though ;) The upshot of which is that I've been getting bored, so decided to try my hand at writing, thus my first story.

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New Story Delayed

My new DRU story is going to be delayed a few days. I was hoping to write the first chapter this weekend and post it but it seems sickness has found me :( So hopefully I'll have it up and written by the end of the week :)

In the meantime...for those who are interested here's a little tease: the main character has blonde hair so start your guessing :)

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Impressing my pastor

Well, after church today, I was invited out for coffee with the pastor and a couple of the members of the church, and I got a chance to show them my poetry, and read to them "Dear God", and "A Psalm of Dorothy"

They were blown away.

A couple of them actually teared up.

They asked, begged, for me to send them links so they can have permanent copies, and to pass them on to some places they think would be interested in them.

Pretty neat, yes?

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The Family Girl #052: A Simple Palm Sunday this year

The Family Girl Blogs
(aka "The New Working Girl Blogs")

Blog #52: A Simple Palm Sunday this year

To see all of Bobbie's Family Girl Blogs, click on this link:
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/28818/family-girl-blogs

Since we are twelve hours ahead of everyoe back home, I decided to wait until now to post this.

That's so I can greet everyone, and say Happy Palm Sunday!

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Adding to The Hartlepool Dictionary/ Jenny Pope's Britionary

Jennifer Jane Pope posted this extensive listing of Brit terms/slang a few years ago at Crystal's Storysite. I thought that if one has interest in the Hartlepool Dictionary, they might want to add this to their lexicon as well.

I haven't heard from Jenny in several years, and don't know if she is still writing or, in fact, if she is still among the living. We used to talk quite a bit in the chatroom at Storysite, but she went somewhat quiet owing to some business problems she was having and eventually she just stopped coming by the chat and sort of dropped out of sight.

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The heck with it, no more writing...

After a comment I received today on Motherland Part II. I am officially giving up writing. Why bother? What's the point? Slaving away for months on end, giving up a social life only to find out that I could have spared myself the heartache if I had just gone to bestessay.com and purchased pre-written essays from their large database of prewritten essays, term papers, research reports...wait, do they have a transgendered fiction section?

The following was posted as a comment on my episode of Angel, Motherland Part II. Anyone else get this?

///Most people will find

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The Greylands Universe

Many of you know Loki, my fellow writer in the Darkrealms Universe. Well the two of us have been having some discussions on a possible story idea for my Greylands Universe that Loki would like write. With that in mind I have decided to open up the Greylands Universe to other writers and I am very happy to have Loki as the first author to join me in my own little playground. So hopefully you will all soon see what Loki has to add to the Greylands. From what we've been discussing it should be a lot of fun ;)

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being scared

I finally had to admit to myself I'm scared to go further in my transition. I was talking to Jaci, and I actually started crying when all this anxiety and fear of surgery came bubbling out of me, and even changing my name legally scares me. Be that as it may, since its not likely that the Blue Fairy isnt likely to come visit me and turn my bits into their female equalivants, I have only the two choices - go forward, or live with what I got. And I honestly dont know if I'm capable of option two ..

Ah, well.

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I must be brave

I am about to embark on a project that scares the life out of me. That being said I feel that it is too important a task not to complete and I can't wait and hope that someone else will complete it.

I have started the work that I may have been born to do. It is an apologetic work entitled "The transsexual at the cross: Disproving the myth that transsexualism is wrong"

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5 years and 52 weeks

It seems that today I've been posting stuff here for 5 years and 52 weeks - doesn't tempus simply just fugit? In that time I suppose I have posted a few things here, about ten zillion blogs, over two thousand episodes of serials and fifty odd short stories - odd being the operative phrase.

I hate to think how many hours I've spent writing for, posting on or reading stuff here but it must be thousands of hours. In return, I've received 104,149 Kudos from you, thousands of comments and made loads of friends.

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I did not realize ....

that I did 63 therapy sessions this last year. I met with my (wonderful and talented) therapist today and we had to submit more paperwork for my VA disability claim and was amazed at how much work I have done. She told me not to read the neurological report on me as it would likely upset me (great thing about being in the military is obeying directions/orders). If all goes well I will get my 70% disability raised to 100% in the next 3 months.

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What should I have said

This evening I picked up a friend of my wife who was doing us a favour. He climbed into the car and began with ‘Do you realize that if I wanted to live as a woman all I would need to do is dress as a woman for 2 years, get a letter from a psychiatrist and then I would get a new passport, new birth certificate and so on. But my question is what would the law be if I went into the wrong toilet.”

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Love and question

I'm trying to learn love. I don't think I've ever felt before and I don't think anyone has ever given it to me . what? passed for love in my family was nothing more than manipulation. It is hard for me to comprehend that someone can show me love without expecting something in return. I apologize for all those who are bearing with me as I learn . Just so you know I'm trying my best.

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The Family Girl #051: Contacting Me Via SMS, or, am now AOC

 
The Family Girl Blogs
(aka "The New Working Girl Blogs")

Blog #51: Contacting Me Via SMS, or
am now AOC starting 2DAY, K?

To see all of Bobbie's Family Girl Blogs, click on this link:
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/28818/family-girl-blogs

Hello, everyone. I have been having problems with Yahoo Messenger, and I gather that a lot of the people I keep in touch with with via YM are having the same problems as well.

So, to supplement YM, and hopefully reduce the comm problems, I just got a prepaid, pay-as-you-go cellular plan here in Manila specifically for my friends here, so, if you want, you guys can contact me via SMS later, starting 8PM Eastern (which is 8AM Manila time).

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Another Bump

So it would seem my Muse doesn't want me to write lately. I've hit a huge bump with my latest story---Dance With the Devil---I just can't figure out what I want to do with it or where to take it narrative wise. So I'm going to put it on the backburner for now. I've got a few other ideas in the works but it might be a little bit before I get them rolling so bear with me.

Oh and a serious question, are people tired of the DRU genre. I've noticed a declining interest in all DRU stories as of late?

I await your answers :)

EOF

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Has anyone else noticed this?

Last night I cleared the history and cookies from my browser as I often do. Later I decided to check in here to see what was up -- except my feeble mind failed me and I couldn't remember the exact URL to the site. "No problem", I said, so I "just Googled it", as the kids say these days.

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need advice? Ask Dottie ...

I must have "free advice-giver" written on me somewhere. Last night a co-worker who I've just started to get to know decided to unload about her long-distance relationship. Reminds me of high school when I had several girls who regularly filled me in how awful their boyfriends treated them ....

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Selective deafness

I needed it all day, as I couldn't watch the match live. I finally saw it last night on catch-up. Those of you who are also Welsh need no telling. What an immense game! What a stunning result! What amazing singing!

There was one tackle, put in by the Welsh hooker, on the far side of the pitch, that was so hard the 'thump' was clearly audib;e....

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bad day for flashbacks

Had a bad day for flashbacks last night. I think that if I had known what horrors were locked in my head behind the door marked "Dorothy", I would have never been brave enough to open it up. I've gained the girl I was before my rape, but the memories of what happened to me are almost more than I can bear ....

But thanks to my wonderful friends, I live to fight another day

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Delay for my DRU stories.

Sorry folks. but given that I've been sick the past three days I will have to delay my next chapters of Bloodlines and Trial and Heiress until Friday. Winter's Child and Alex in Wonderland should be on schedule this week since I had managed to get a couple chapters ahead on those.

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Still alive and kicking

So, yeah... headaches and migraines are continuing. Life is still full but things are not as bad as they have been. My writing is coming back and I am actually getting things written. I am hoping that this means that I will be able to get back to Kit and Kin soon. I just need Maeko to start talking to me again. I have a bit of the next chapter written but that was like giving myself a root canal. Not fun or easy.

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TG PMS

just finished the latest chapter of "Jem" which featured "TG PMS" - basically its when a trans girl like me starts feeling like a fake. It happens to me sometimes, and on bad days I wonder if I will ever be whole .....

Ah, well. I'm pretty blessed in this journey so far. The rejection and hatred I expected did not happen, and even those people who think this is a mistake have assured me that they love me anyway.

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The Sighs have it

Strings of Sighs has been published for only a little over 24 hours and it has already reached my third highest Kudos score, out of a total of 61 stories and episodes published to date.

More significantly, it means that my top three placed stories all involve the pupils at the Seacombe Independent Girls High School (SIGHS) as, for one reason or another, they coerece the boys at the neighbouring school to try to be more like them.

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Blog up date

I am doing better, however; my kidneys are over producing potassium, so I am drinking some foul tasting gunk. I've had two meds stopped and am being monitored with a cardiocom daily plus a weekly blood test.I'm not out of the woods yet but I can see the clearing of the glades. Thank you all for the responses. I still have a fear of eating but am being assured I'll get over it.

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scary moment last night.

Had a very scary moment last night. I had gone to pick up Sharon, and drove her to her 2nd job cleaning a doctor's office. I was still kinda hurting and tired from my ER adventures, so I stayed in the car and figured I'd have a short nap.

Unfortunately, as soon as I fell asleep, I was partially woken up by something shaking me. Then I realized it was me shaking me - my muscles were doing this spaz thing like I was being shocked, and I couldnt seem to wake up enough to make it stop.

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In response to a recent comment - the mature version

Ten years ago I wrote my very first story for Big Closet. The culture was different back then and the site was much, much smaller. It was a busy day if four stories got posted and Erin read each and everyone of them before posting (Congrats on not going crazy).

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just got home from the hosptital

I just got back from getting checked out at my local hospital. I had a lot of pain in my stomach , and so decided to get it looked at. Just some bruising from work, so that was a relief, but I got really tired of being called by my male name when my preferred name is listed on my chart ....

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I can only be me

Having to take a day off from work because I felt like I had strained my stomach muscles gave me a lot more time to read today, and looking at some of the fantastic work that's been produced here I can only reach a couple of conclusions.

One is that Erin and her elves have created the most amazing place I can imagine, and we who get to enjoy their work should remember to be grateful, and show that gratitude however we can - contributing to the hat box, or even just making sure we dont make things harder for them with our blogs, stories, and comments.

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