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Paranoia about going out in public

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I went away for my last "fishing trip" of the year this weekend. I do actually go fishing, but the main reason I go is to have time as Leeanna. The memories I have let me cope with not being who I want to be.

After my mother helping me and pushing me the last time. She wanted us to go into the bar on the site. I refused. I just went for a short walk in the dark with her. She told me not to wear red lipstick and keep my makeup understated. She also told me not to use the red wig I have.

I went for a plain look. I just wanted to look like an older lady out for a walk.

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Nods and shakes

There are numerous differences between UK and USA English.

They're often subtle and usually relatively transparent. One of them is the US convention of referring to the ground floor of a building as the first floor whereas in the UK (and Europe generally) the first floor is reached after climbing a flight of stairs. In other words the US doesn't recognise a floor zero :).

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Revisions

I had received some good technical suggestions on writing from a couple of the experienced authors on this site (which, by the way, is one of the really wonderful things about this community!) and decided it was worthwhile going through and fixing some of my earlier postings. The suggestions had to do, primarily, with paragraph breaks and nuances relating to punctuation, not substance.

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Should my Drow/dark elf twins apply for this job?

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Should my Drow/dark elf twins apply for this job?....yes its a real job!

Just spotted this on my job feed and thought "hey they should apply!"

Entertainment HIP Park Elf Character...at some 'local HUGE name brand theme park'

JOB SUMMARY: A seasonal team member position with the responsibility of keeping the illusion of The North Pole and Santa Claus while portraying a Christmas elf.

ACTIVITIES INCLUDE:

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I've posted the revisions, last time, I promise.

If anyone is willing to re-read them, I would love to know if it is an improvement. I will post chapter 4 as soon as my early reader gets back to me on it, tomorrow, I hope. If anyone else wished to be an early reader, let me know please.

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a better type of dream

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So last night, I dreamed I was a freshman in university, and unlike a lot of my dreams, I was prepared. I had my schedule, a map, and a notebook where I wrote down where each class I was taking was located.

I'm hoping that dream means I am becoming less a victim of circumstances and recognizing I can do things to make my situation better.

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I'm taking a bit of a break on "Joining a club?"

I've noticed that I am not consistent in tense, the story wants to be written in first person, every time I try to write in past tense, I end up having to go back and make changes to try and keep it that way, as I change tense part way through. Please be patient with me, I'll have these corrected soon and I think the story will be much improved in the process. I've also become aware I was rushing through it too fast, in spite of knowing where the story is going, I need to take my time to be a better writer.

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Pete's Vagina -23- Return on Patreon for everyone

"I got something for you, well, for us," Megan said, giggling again.

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Chapter 23

I hit Number Seventeen around the hips, putting my shoulder into his belly, using my momentum to bear him backward, falling on top of him. I dug at the ball, but he didn't let go....

Football is a rough sport. Is Pete still tough enough to play?

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Some Fiction Isn't

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Remember the story of the little boy who received his wish and became a girl? Her own parents didn't believe him. She was kinda taken in by her best friend and her friends mother until Child Protection Services, FBI and others got into the act. Only her best friend and her friends mother believed her and yet CPS glomed onto the girl. The women in charge of the CPS was trafficking the children who came into her clutches.
Sadly, not that far into fiction.

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My Rainbow Mountain Camp Report

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This is a report I wrote up a long time ago, about a real life camp I'd gone to, that was specifically for adults (both male and female) who felt like little girls inside. I hope it's okay to post that memory here. It's very special to me, and I just wanted to share it with my friends at BCTS.

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Rago Open Bottom Corset with Garters

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Once in awhile I need to go out to something a bit more formal and have been wearing pantyhose. I hate them, hate them! So I got the bright idea to wear stockings with a garterbelt, and finding a garter belt with real garter fasteners is a trudge. So, instead I got an open bottom girdle with real fasteners and serviceable stockings. They were quite nice except the girdle is torture. I reasoned that I would buy one a size larger than my 38 4x. The sad part is the seller does not have a 40. ?x. It is amazing to me that genetic women are able to tolerate such punishment.

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Looking for a story

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So, story starts by some guys going into gaming tournament where they participate in team battles
They get pretty far but encounter some pros
As a surprise tactic they go full dps because that’s most noob and unexpected thing to do
MC plays some elf character that has evil drow side dps mode and good high elf healer mode which can be switched
Something happens and MC gets turned into that character
Later mc discovers that she can switch these modes in reality too and heals someone

good news, bad news

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Well, I just got a bit of good news. the social housing (reduced rent) agency has approved our application, and now we are on the wait list.

might be a while before we're near the top, but since we have a lease here until next June, that's okay.

Unfortunately, I also got a bit of bad news last night. The last few days Sharon, sick and exhausted, has had to phone me to get me to help persuade Sam to eat or drink anything at all.

That clearly cant go on for very long, so we're preparing for the possibility that Sam will need to be hospitalized.

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What's the Julie-verse?

Every once in a while, I'll come across a story that's set in the Julie-verse by Julie O, but I haven't been able to find any descriptions about what this universe is like. Does anyone know where I could find a description of this universe?

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My baby passed away.

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My just over two year old baby cat Willow passed away Thursday night Friday morning. He got into something he shouldn’t have, not the brightest cat, and after five days of not eating I gave him to vet. He died that night at vet.

I tried really hard to get him to eat but it didn’t work. I can’t seem to stop crying at odd times.

To make matters worse my uncle passed away as well. Yet another family member dead and funeral.

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Forces of Romance, by Maryanne Peters

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Attached is a link to me latest collection on Amazon, which is a collection of stories based on change of sex by force. Perhaps curiously for a writer of TG fiction, I have not written much in the sub-genre, so I surprised myself that I had enough for a novel length volume of 19 stories (63,300 words). Please follow the link and take a look.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0BKR64DFG

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If you can, but have not yet ...

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If you are here, it's because you want to be here.

For you to "Be Here", Big Closet also has to "Be Here".

The only reason BCTS is 'on the net', is because every month, enough people 'cough up' enough money to pay for everything.

And our Admins and core people are way too close to 'coughing up blood'. Every month.

Please think about what BCTS is worth to you.
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This is only for people who can, but have not yet contributed - let's do a simulation:

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Mockreet 36 - Yes, it makes no sense for now

For those who were confused about The Mockreet Chapter 36 - yes, it makes very little sense right now. Truth is, it's not going to mean anything until the last third of the story, but as I'm winding down, it sort of had to go somewhere. I promise you, when you've done as much acid as I have, it makes more sense.

Speaking of which...

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Question regarding "Joining a club?"

I'm really curious, I am getting to the point of being able to write longer chapters, but I would like to know something. Would you like more frequent, shorter chapters or less often, longer chapters? I am able to get out a short chapter everyday so far, as long as I don't have extreme insomnia like I had the last two days, longer ones will probably be less often. I know when I'm reading I prefer longer chapters, but that is mostly because I read way too damn fast. I will post my next chapter sometime today.

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Oops

Hi everyone. I've been stoned out of my mind for the last week and someone just reminded me that I hadn't updated The Mockreet lately. Um. I posted a new chapter and tomorrow I'll post another since this one is so short. There's like...a lot written but to be fair the last few days I've been trying to locate the front door of my house with very little success. Anyway.

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Hatbox funds needed - Today

Cash contributions from our members are how we keep BigCloset operating.

Company account was down to basically $0

If bills hit, we will overdraft.

Amazon is supposed to pay us tonight, but my stomach is cramping now with anxiety about this.

Please, If you can help, it will be appreciated.

Paypal contributions come straight to our account.

Hugs,
Erin, Piper, Jamie, Cat and the rest of the crew

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Miss Universe

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It looks like Trump's Project that he started in 1996 and had the rights to until 2015 has now been brought by a Thai transgender activist for an undisclosed amount of money.

What do people on this site think?
Is it something that needs to happen or something that should of happened years ago?

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Thank you!

A quick message to thank you for checking out ‘My Faustian Bargain’. At a time when the economy is wobbly and bills are high, it means a great deal that so many people have chosen to buy my book. Especially given the large (and growing) number of free transgender-themed stories out there. Perhaps there’s life in the writing game yet!

Best wishes,

Bryony

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Sam is getting worse

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so yesterday Mom and I helped Sharon and Sam go to a doctor's appointment, and she has apparently been getting worse.

Sharon said she's sleeping poorly, having nightmares, and she had to fight like crazy to get Sam to take a meal replacement drink.

Sam's brain scan on Tuesday can't come soon enough . . ..

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OK, I get the message

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I'll quit posting song lyric parodies, I get that "My Gender Lament" wouldn't get many reviews, likes or even views. But out of over 600 viewers, I had 2 reviews and 18 likes. I'll quit posting these since so few like them, but I do have a story I'm going to try and write.

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Interesting video about Electrical Arcs

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The Slow Mo Guys just published an interesting video on YouTube https://youtu.be/HDzVD-cqiWM about filming electrical arcs at 1.750.000 frames per second!

Something that the geeky nerds and/or nerdy geeks might enjoy.

By the way, some of their other experiments are plain weird, while others discover some pretty fascinating insights.

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Reason #4,182 I should not try to write

Got a new monitor, an LG C2 42" 4k OLED tv/gaming monitor. Upgraded from a dying 7 year old lcd, no problem, right? 2 year old Alienware, 3060 graphics card, should handle it without a problem, easy-peasy! Off the desk with the old monitor, totally rearrange the desk, piss off the kitties because their bed was moved, and start it up. This was it! The moment of glorious amazement was unfolding. There it was, a loading screen with Alienware logo.

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Big Closet Renovation (Or: What Do You Want?)

First things first: I have no official affiliation with BCTS as a business entity. Outside doing a few stories for Hatbox/Patreon and the occasional cover, I have zero input into the goings-on or function of our site.

That said... I love BCTS, and want it to succeed. I've been an official member for almost 16 years, and I've picked about for longer than that. I've been a member of this community for longer than I've been able to legally drink!

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Commenting on stories

I want to apologize to every author here. I read a lot of your stories, but I confess that I don't read everything, but I seldom leave a comment. That is because I just do not know what to say, other than I liked the story. I just feel that only saying that kind of thing is lazy when I do not have anything critical, good or bad, to say. I am also hesitant to leave comments that might make me look silly.

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My rant - why don’t readers want to leave comments?

I am wondering why there are so few comments left on this site. My friend Lajien has been posting a story here weekly (Abrupt Change) and no one wants to leave him any comments here. This lack of feedback has him considering to abandon his stories here, since it seems to him that no one is interested in them. How can we change this? It seems only a handful of readers leave comments. How can we encourage people to leave more of them?

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What counts as creepy?

I recently posted a story with a scene that had felt creepy to me, so I added a caution tag to let people know about that. Now I'm starting to wonder if maybe I was being overly cautious. Does anybody have any thoughts on what makes a story creepy, as well as when (or if) it might be a good idea to warn people about it?

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interesting stuff about the affects of hormones on trans women's brains

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Hormone therapy helps strengthen brain connections in transgender women

Without any sex hormones, transgender women have the same symptoms, such as hot flashes, that postmenopausal women have.

“The disconnection between parts of the brain involved in sensory motor processing and the thalamus may be one of the causes of these symptoms,” This study to show the effect of estrogens in the connectivity of this area of the brain in transgender women who have had their testes removed.

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culture wars on the home front

I live in a very conservative area but other than a nearby school district banning the Harry Potter books for witchcraft some years ago it has been quiet since the days when James Dobson's minions picketed the local bookstore in the eighties. I bought my only copy of "Hustler" just so I could walk out past them with it out of the bag. Now the local schoolboard has overruled the professionals to remove "Genderqueer" from the high school library bookshelves by a 4 to 3 vote. Only one of the four is currently up for re-election.

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Fairy wrasse

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According to the Guardian, these fish along with another species of wrasse start off as female but become male as they age, becoming more colourful as they do so. Nature seems to have it the wrong way round to my thinking but they are beautiful fish.

https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2022/oct/19/discover...

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Looking for a story

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I have been trying to find a series of stories based on the following criteria:

The main character is relocating with her (his) baby to a small seaside town. Wife had cut off ties because she had cancer.

She is an artist.

There is an older lady (rich) who shoots at gophers with a shotgun and has an adopted niece who is transgender.

Eventually opens a shop to sell her (and others) art.

Eventually inherits a yacht.

I am trying to find this series for some time now. For some reason I cannot remember the name of the seaside town.

Writing Multi-chapter Stories

When it comes to writing stories, I think of myself as a sprinter. I'll get burst of creative energy, but tend to feel winded by the time I've reached the end a story. I think I've only written a story with over a dozen chapters once. But ... I do find there's times when I enjoy writing multi-chapter stories. I just wish I had more stamina for them.

So, for anyone who's written longer stories, where do you get the stamina to stay with them for more than a few chapters?

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Only Porn Stories

I haven't been publishing stories on the site lately because all I have been writing is Porn and would be suitable only for a site like Literotica. Some may think that I only think of Vanila stories but sadly it is just not happening that way recently. Not sure when this will stop. Not sure what to do about it.

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Spent time with my mother as her daughter today

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I have taken my mother away for a short holiday. Her man friend is ill and could not come. When I picked her up she suggested I take my bag that I keep my "stash" of clothes in. She wanted to see me dressed. After a hectic day yesterday, we had a slightly more relaxing day today.

I dressed at around 7pm. She wanted to see me without makeup. She could not believe the picture I have shown her, was of me. I put my wig on and then she started. She took a brush and gave me a fringe. Then she had me try on my other wig. She preferred my short one.

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Non-binary characters

Recently, I've been learning more about non-binary people, and have been re-exploring my own identity based on what I've learned. Some (or maybe a lot) of that has been reflected in some of the stories I've written. Lately, I've been wondering how people feel about reading stories that have non-binary people as supporting characters, or the main character. While reading stories with characters like that are really interesting to me, I realize not everyone can relate to characters like that.

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Google Services

I have chosen an oxymoron as the title to this blog.
I mentioned my problem in a note to the story I posted today ....
I have been shut out of my gmail account and I have lost contact with everybody except people I am in touch with over discord.
Does anybody know how I can get my gmail back? A "verify that you are really you" message came up giving the only option as my back email, which now has a 2 step verification using the gmail I can't access. It is driving me nuts.

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What's a Sissy?

To be clear, I am Post Op MTF. I am not sure that I am transgendered save to say that my experience with males was dismal and I hated them. I have never had sexual relations with anyone save my wife when I was married.

I am reading a story where a guy is being Sissified, but has a female fiance. Make your head spin? The reason my original marriage ended was I was too feminine for my X. She felt I was gay. I am not.

I present as a woman now and have for 18 years. I don't think Sissies are gay. Perhaps the people that insisted that I transition were simply incredibly stupid?

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Coming clean...

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So I know it's been a while, but I felt it was finally time to come clean about something. It's been eating at me for years now. I used to lie about myself on here a lot. I was so paranoid about being discovered that I would insist I wasn't Mormon or that I lived in Idaho rather than Utah. Ironically, I'm now atheist, but that's neither here nor there. Please know it was not a deliberately malicious choice, but one based out of fear and from my way of thinking was a misdirect. I was pretty paranoid.

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New Novella: My Faustian Bargain

Greetings everyone,

Announcing the arrival of my new novella, ‘My Faustian Bargain’: the tale of a man who uses ancient magic to borrow against his own future and live a life of comfort and ease. After eight years it’s time to pay up and Kurt soon discovers the downside of having enhanced his manliness as all debts are collected, plus interest.

Kurt becomes Kirsten, a lowly maid to his former lover – and Kirsten’s troubles are only just beginning.

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Feeling very sad

I lost my best friend today, I've now outlived all of my friends except the ones I've made here. I do have my family, or I probably would have done something stupid by this time. I have to admit that I'm not sure how much more I can take, my parents are gone, my brother wants nothing to do with me (and it has nothing to do with me being Holly), and now my only friend I could hug is gone. I'm so very afraid of trying to make new friends in my area, I've started dressing full time now and I don't know how well I would be accepted outside of my family.

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Dad 2

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I know I've already posted on my Dad, but these are some different thoughts on the topic.

I went to Phoenix (the Arizona one) August 29th. My Dad was unconscious when I got there. I talked to him and he seemed to respond. 5 hours after I got there, he died. My mom and sister had finally gone to sleep, and my aunt (Dad's sister) was resting. I was holding Dad's hand and stroking his hair as he passed away.

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Secret Identities

One thing masking for COVID has taught me is that a half mask - at least of the lower face - alone is not enough to conceal a person's identity, at least from from someone who knows them.

Or maybe I just have a very distinctive upper head. :-)

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Regarding "The Story of a Reluctant Southern Belle"

Good morning everybody, first allow me to thank everyone who's read 'The Story of a Reluctant Southern Belle' I'm very pleased with the support its recieved. The story though has given a bit of writers block. And while I think on it, I've decided to given some attention to a few of my other stories I have floating around in limbo. One new story I hope to publish is called "The Mallrat Chronicals" it ties in with my other stories, and is set in the same area of Mississippi as my other stories.

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Perusing my bookmarks and missing people……..

I was looking through my bookmarks this evening, deciding on a story to read, when I started thinking about the authors that I have become acquainted with here and those that I am missing.

Has anyone heard from Elsbeth? She is one of my favorite authors, but she disappeared suddenly around the beginning of Covid.

Bailey Summers posts sporadically and is another of my favorite authors. I hope to see more from Bailey soon as I basically owe my life to Bailey. We’re it not for Bailey, I would probably have eaten the muzzle of my .45 nine or ten years ago.

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Angela Lansbury passed away

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Actress dame Angela Lansbury passed away today.

It was her onscreen character Jessica fletcher that first inspired me to try to write. The quaint little town Cabot cove, which didn’t exist back then, really appealed to me.

But I watch other stuff from back then and realize many of the things I aspire to be current, real, or beautiful are from around that time.

I prefer eighties clothing, music, cars, movies over even new stuff.

Seeing prominent actors and actresses that made up my youth pass away hurts.

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Iolanthe's Comment

At the end of a long and carefully thought-out comment in another blog, Iolanthe said, “It is always a little distressing when another reader looks down their nose at stories or categories that I prize, but oh well. We're not all in the same place; we don't all have the same tastes.”

As usual, Iolanthe has caused me to think.

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Thoroughly recommend these stories

I have spent the last couple of days reading some of Torey's stories and I thoroughly recommend them, most will leave you with a feel-good sensation. See what you think, I'm sure at least one will work for you.

https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/14454/torey

Angharad.

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I'm sorry

I'm sorry it took so long but finally chapter 12 is out! I know it's been many months but i hope those of you who like this story will forgive me

I've been going through a lot mentally and while it's no excuse it's made it very hard to write. I think I'm back in it now though so hopefully it won't take this long next time.

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Bookstores

I love discoveries in bookstores. What are favorites, perhaps not in your own town but a worthy destination?

One of mine is Malaprop’s, Asheville, North Carolina; forever grateful to the friends who insisted on a stop there during a trip.

Also, does it have a cat, at least as of your last visit? Malaprop’s: yes.

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Consequences of Life

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A consequence of life is the existence of its counterpart: death.

Yesterday my mom passed away.

As I've posted before, she's been in and out of the hospital more times than I can count over the years due to her long struggle with pain-inducing autoimmune issues (fibro, rheumatoid, etc.). This past year her gall bladder made that worse with many gall stones. A week ago bacterial infection got out of control and into her blood, and now she's gone.

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The Chevalier d'Eon in Dr. Who

There have been some new Dr. Who audio adventures made with David Tennant and Billy Piper.

There are 3 of them. This one features the Chevalier d'Eon. I should think most of us have heard of the Chevalier d'Eon .

Eonism

the adoption by a male of a female role, or vice versa, as in transvestism. Eonism is named for Charles Eon de Beaumont, a French political adventurer who died in 1810 after posing as a woman for many years.

I discovered her story when I first got dialup internet. There are so many versions.

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Blog Entry 2

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Its 14:54, Thursday. I have work today and as much as I dread going in, it keeps me from binge eating. I've cut my calorie intake down to 800 a day and I can see the results. All the results. My waist is slimmer, I feel lighter, but I also see the dark circles forming under my eyes. I sometimes wonder how much more my body can take and how much is going to be 'enough'. Will I stop when I reach my goal weight, or will I keep going until they have to hospitalize me? No, I'll stop, but the most important thing now is not letting anyone in my life know about the burgeoning health issues.

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Divorce papers in the USA

I'm doing some research for a future story and would like a little bit of help.

How long would it take to prepare a set of papers for a divorce? If the side petitioning for the divorce knew what they wanted before contacting an attorney, how long before they could get the application for the divorce? I would like it to be pretty short.

I need this to work on the timeline for the story.
Thanks,
Samantha

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Blog Entry 10/6/22

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Look, I don't know why I'm posting this. I swore I'd never post anything here again but where else am I going to put this shit. I can't talk to the people around me, I don't even tell my therapist the whole truth, but no one knows me here. No one cares and honestly, no one's going to read this. I just need to get it out there.

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^W vs. ^X

In Emacs, a text editor originating in the 1980s, the command equivalent to ^X (the cut in cut and paste) is ^W.

Today in writing a comment, not once but twice in a row, I used ^W instead of ^X to cut something preparing to paste it elsewhere.

I'm losing my mind.

EDIT: It occurs to me, I should have said that both times I typed ^W, my screen disappeared with my editing.

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Public Apology

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I've had a few days to cool down from an outburst that should never have happened. It wasn't justified in the least, because while I might have my personal opinions about BCTS, it ultimately comes down to the fact that it's well run, has great staff, and I couldn't do it myself without expending a lot of money. I started this new account because I believed I had outgrown 'Audrissa', I thought that I was better, and I believed that I could write a story without it consuming my emotions and sending me into a downward spiral.

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the next chapter of Sammi's story is up!

the next chapter of Sammi's story is up!

in this extra long chapter help finally comes for the family and we get an idea of what is going on and some of the 'whys'

hope you all like this?

post a comment on telling me how this story is to or not to your liking?

have fun reading!

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I laugh at stuff like this as an author

I laugh at stuff like this as an author

One of my characters I write about 'Shadowsblade' begins a career as an action heroine and I think about stuff just like this when I write that part of her stories.

Imagine walking into a store...a wallmart and there is a aisle of toys with hundreds of little 'you-s' all along it! Big ones, small ones all kinds!

The weirdness factor alone!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SqpOdh7VNY&ab_channel=SlySt...

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Mocrheet Chapter 30 is upa

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I have great hnews. I'm not sure if it's been a week since tha last posting, but I have written Mockreet Chapter 30 and p osted it. I just want to say that I love each and every one of you, you're all amazing and some of you are even good writers. Enjoy the chapter while I go enjoy the r est of my night! :D :D <3

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