Dad 2

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I know I've already posted on my Dad, but these are some different thoughts on the topic.

I went to Phoenix (the Arizona one) August 29th. My Dad was unconscious when I got there. I talked to him and he seemed to respond. 5 hours after I got there, he died. My mom and sister had finally gone to sleep, and my aunt (Dad's sister) was resting. I was holding Dad's hand and stroking his hair as he passed away.

I handled the cremation arrangements, while my sister did the financial stuff. My sister and I went to the crematorium. No one else. Seeing the box with his name on it, knowing his body was inside, made it all real to me. Sherry started the belt that moved his body into the furnace.

Dad was a veteran and his ashes are now in the memorial cemetery in Arizona. I wasn't able to be there for the ceremony, but my nephew recorded it and sent me a copy of it. The flag for Mom, the gun salute. Taps... I'm a trumpet player, and I've played Taps many times, but hearing it played for my dad... That was incredibly hard.

I couldn't stop crying through the whole ceremony. I know it will get easier, but right now, it's so unreal. I occasionally think there's someone I need to tell about all this, then realize the person I feel I need to tell is Dad. Sigh.

Comments

May all Beings ...

May all Beings be happy,
May all Beings be healthy,
May all Beings be free of pain,

May all Beings be Loved, in this World, and in the Next.

Amen!

Rose's picture

Amen!

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Hugs!
Rosemary

The Empty in Our Life

BarbieLee's picture

Rose, I do my best to explain the loved ones no longer suffer in their mortal body. The troubles of this earthly plain is no longer a burden upon their soul. Family and friends who have gone before are there to embrace them and welcome them home. Take comfort in the love we shared, the tears of happiness, and the warmth in his pride as the years turned his baby into an adult. The sorrow and pain of no longer being able to hug him, talk to him, share time with him can either be on top of all the moments, days, years of love and joy shared or it can be buried at the bottom of that mountain of blessed memories. He's not gone as you carry all the treasures of life shared in your heart. It hurts and if it didn't you wouldn't have loved him. It will be with you as long as you live. The deeper the love the deeper the pain but also the best of life shared.
Hugs Hon, I know mine is still watching over me. I bet your daddy is watching over you. It helps to talk to them and the tears sometimes follow but we loved them so much it can't be any different.

Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl

I'm very jealous of God right

Rose's picture

I'm very jealous of God right now. He gets to have my daddy while I have to wait till my life ends to see him again.

Oh yes, I know I'll see him again, but it's frustrating when I think of him when I first remember him. I actually remember my third birthday, so he would have been 28. He was 51 years older when he died.

Yes, I miss him every day. It's hard to put the young man thatt I knew into the older man who was always sleeping, and couldn't walk more than a few feet before having to rest.

I still remember him and me building his 2nd truck. Quite a thing to remember. Building a tractor for pulling a semi trailer. I actually drove that truck myself, many years later. Lol!

When I introduced him to my real self, his first words were, "You look great!" I always worried about introducing myself to my parents, and that was the first thing he said when he saw me."

The memories come flooding back every day, and I know just how much he loved me.

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Hugs!
Rosemary

I feel your pain

and you have my sympathies and prayers. I lost my father a few years ago, and my mother a couple of years before that. And then today I lost my best friend, I've now outlived all of my friends except the ones I've made here. I can tell you that as time goes by, you learn to accept and deal with the loss and the pain becomes tolerable. I'm told that as even more time passes it gets to the point where it becomes a sometimes thing, but I haven't reached that point with my Dad, and I'm not sure I ever will, he meant everything to me. I had major problems with my Mom all of my life, and that one didn't hurt so much, even though we did reconcile and in her last few years we had a good relationship. My heart goes out to you dear one.

thanks

Rose's picture

My in-laws were quite a bit older than my parents. My wife used to joke to my dad that her mother was older than his. She really was! So she lost her parents several years ago. That helped prepare me, because her parents were also important to me.

But no matter how much we think we are prepared, we never realize how much it hurts to lose someone so special. I never had the guts to call him Daddy, but before he died, I told him that he's always been Daddy to me. I wish I'd been able to tell him that when he could respond. I truly believe he heard me, but I would have loved to hear his response.

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Hugs!
Rosemary

Ifound this while writing

Ifound this while writing Tommy and I really like it

Life Must Go On.

Grieve for me, for I would grieve for you.
Then brush away the sorrow and the tears
Life is not over, but begins anew,
With courage, you must greet the coming years.
To live forever in the past is wrong;
It can only cause you misery and pain.
Dwell not on memories overlong,
With others, you must share and care again.
Reach out and comfort those who comfort you;
Recall the years, but only for a while.
Nurse not your loneliness, but live again.
Forget not. Remember with a smile.

Teddie

I am very sad

Andrea Lena's picture

that you are sad.

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

Thanks

Rose's picture

I really need the huggles. :-)

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Hugs!
Rosemary