Paranoia about going out in public

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I went away for my last "fishing trip" of the year this weekend. I do actually go fishing, but the main reason I go is to have time as Leeanna. The memories I have let me cope with not being who I want to be.

After my mother helping me and pushing me the last time. She wanted us to go into the bar on the site. I refused. I just went for a short walk in the dark with her. She told me not to wear red lipstick and keep my makeup understated. She also told me not to use the red wig I have.

I went for a plain look. I just wanted to look like an older lady out for a walk.

This time I was alone and I dressed as soon as I arrived. I went for a 2 mile walk along the seafront. I was so nervous, I crossed the road every time I saw someone. Eventually, this was not an option. After passing a few people, and not getting a second glance my confidence grew

My paranoia comes from looking in the mirror and still seeing the male me staring back. I never feel I can pass. I always think I look to male.
Is this the same with anyone else? I just think everybody is looking at me, yet I know most people are too wrapped up in their own lives to care.

Either people don't care, or unless you look really obvious, you won't get a second look. On Saturday it rained most of the day, so I stayed as Leeanna all day. I painted my nails and went out during the day. I didn't last long, as my umbrella blew inside out ( had to visit the ladies loo to sort it out) and my skirt kept blowing up.

Just being myself all day felt wonderful. Stuck as the guy version of me until March now. Still have some nice pictures to remind me. .

This was after my first walk on Friday evening.

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This was the second day before I went out.

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This is when I got back looking windswept.

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