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Breaking the Habit

before I say this, I want to assure everyone I'm not going to hurt myself.

But man, do the lyrics of "Breaking the Habit" by Linkin Park feel approprate right now.

"I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit tonight"

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Sanctions help fighting... Shiraz

Yes... I got bored waiting for the UG2 next chapter and decided to buy all of the chapters from Amazon...
So, Shiraz, say a big thank you to your government. I will just get an unread book from my shelf... You just got sanctioned out of my money for your books...
Anyone still think that sanctions are against Russia? $-)

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Hundreds rally in Downing Street for full ban on conversion therapy

In the UK there have been moves to outlaw "Conversion Therapy" being used on LGBT, then the government did a U-turn on banning "Conversion Therapy" on the "T" .

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-61060024

They are seeking to outlaw

"Which can include talking therapies and prayer, says Jayne Ozanne, a former government equality adviser subjected to the practice. More extreme forms can include "exorcisms, physical violence and food deprivation", she says."

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Saccone Joly Trans Child

I came across this on Sky News

https://news.sky.com/story/i-dont-want-to-grow-facial-hair-t...

The parents seem very supportive. How much would many of us have loved being treated like this when we were young?

Looking at other stuff about them, there are accusations of exploiting their children.

There are a mix of positives and negatives with this story.

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I am in a mental shock and anguish right now.

For nearly the past month, my cat had been very sick. He had lost too much weight too fast. This past tuesday I made the decision, after his recent treatment wasn't working, to change his follow-up check up to something that I never wanted but had to so he wouldn't have to suffer. Throughout this past week he seemed to sense that I was very upset about something and did his best to stay by my side despite how weak he became.

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British Cycling and trans women

I am seriously considering resigning as a member of British Cycling after they decided to stop transwomen from competing in elite women's bike races.

This has all blown up after Emily Bridges transitioned, as a man she broke the national junior 25 mile record and is considered to have an unfair advantage over biological females. So they have suspended the policy on transgender cyclists.

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Health Update

Went to the doctor the other day (finally, I know) and received news that I expected: probable heart valve failure.
I'm on a few types of medications for it...but, there has been a bit of a build up of pain to my left side. I'm not going panic as much because, perhaps it is a side effect to what i'm having to take.

Anyway, I'm supposed to have a few tests this week, so we will see what happens.
Until then, I regret, I do not have the focus to work on any of my WIPs...sorry.

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Positive-rapid test Covid

Back in October, I got into another domestically abusive situation & left. I was travelled several hours away & since, this event, I have been in 2 shelters (homeless/women's/coed).

I had not been feeling well the last couple of days. Due to my respiratory issues, I figured it was just pneumonia, sinus infection, bronchitis etc again.

Well I was given a rapid test & I am positive for Covid as of tonight 8:58PM.

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Portent Ending

From near the end of the next Angel of... story. After WWII, three of the superhumans who helped the Allies win are discussing their plans. Two decide they're just going to get away from it all:

"We're going away," said Sutter. "Marie and I have found this place, in Puerto Rico, not far from an old Spanish city but out in the country. It has this bowl-shaped valley. We can lie in the bottom of the bowl and watch the stars go by overhead with no interference."

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Weekly zoom meeting and Ladies GTG

So here we are at the end of another week, every week on Sunday at 4:00 PM (Texas time) I will have a one hour zoom meeting for trans woman only. Please feel free to invite other trans women if you were invited. You have to ask to be put on this list. Once you are on the list you will get a notification every week. You can always opt out. I plan on having a meeting every week while there is interest. I do this because being disabled I was unable to get out during the pandemic to join groups, I am a very social person, and need human contact even if it is through a video screen.

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Soooo... It's been a while!

It's been a hot minute, hasn't it?

My life has been busy! I've now been living life full to me as myself and feeling great! In January my car broke down on the way to work, long story short the ignition module burnt out, took out two ignition coils, the catalytic converter, and several of the spark plugs. It's been in and out of the shop trying to get everything fixed. It's finally passed emissions and seems to running fine. *Fingers crossed*

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a bad news/good news day

Today was a "bad news - good news" day.

First the bad - I somehow managed to tear a hole in one of the tires on my car, and that was a serious stress
.
But now the good - My neighbor helped me put on my spare so I could take the car to a tire store, and after we got that looked after we were able to get a refill on my medications and some groceries.

I like days that end better than they start, don't you?

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This week's Sunday zoom meeting

Every week on Sunday at 4:00 PM (Texas time) I will have a one hour zoom meeting for trans woman only. Please feel free to invite other trans women if you were invited. You have to ask to be put on this list. Once you are on the list you will get a notification every week. You can always opt out. I plan on having a meeting every week while there is interest.

https://www.time.gov/

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Career Day -- review

While the site was down, I reread Grover's "Career Day". (I had downloaded it on my hard drive; an old habit from my dial-up days). I found it a fine piece of Sci-Fi/Fantasy. Usually I don't like Sci-Fi/Fantasy because it takes the decision regarding gender away from the protagonist.

Grover, however starts with an older trans person who through some unknown quirk of time/space finds himself in an alternate past and is given a second chance and doesn't waste it.

If you've never read it, or even if you have, give it a read. It well worth the time.

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And we're broke! - Hatbox down to $10 - Money needed

After recent expenses related to the downtime experienced Mar 29 to 31, and various monthly bills, we're broke. There is just less than $10 in our main bank account, and only $50 in my personal account. More bills are due as it is the beginning of the month.

We need money to get through the rest of the month.

Please, if you can help, we would like to continue operating this site. Thanks.

Hugs,
Erin, Piper, Cat, Amy, Jamie and the elves.

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And we're back!

Thanks to Piper's heroic efforts, BCTS is back online. We're getting so much traffic right now that things are acting a little quirky but it looks like that is clearing up as the buffers and caches fill up to take up the excess load. :)

Welcome back!

Hugs,
Erin, Piper, Cat, Jamie and Amy

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Sometime today, Mar 29, site will be down for an hour

Sometime today, probably in the evening Eastern Time, our servers will be unplugged and the rack they are in will be moved to a new location in the server farm before being plugged back in and rebooted.

Piper has been to the server farm these last two days to help ensure this goes smoothly, and we are not expecting to be down for more than an hour.

Don't Panic. :)

This has been planned for months, but is part of the reason we wanted to be sure we had money in the bank, right now, in case Piper had to stay overnight or something.

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Tricky but fun IQ questions

Here are 3 tricky IQ questions.Just for fun, see if you can answer them.

A bat and a ball cost £1.10 in total. The bat costs £1.00 more than the ball. How much does the ball cost?

If it takes five machines five minutes to make a total of five widgets, how long would it take 100 machines to make 100 widgets?

In a lake, there is a patch of lily pads. Every day, the patch doubles in size. If it takes 48 days for the patch to cover the entire lake, how long would it take for the patch to cover half of the lake?

~o~O~o~

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A load of old bollocks about trans and bathrooms

This is old, it goes back to when Obama was president.

It was the usual anti trans and bathrooms. I don't know why this bothers me so much. I have used the ladies when I have been dressed several times without probems. I very rarely go out dressed though. I think it is the outright lies by these anti's use idiots

With the departments of Justice and Education’s new announcement on transgender access to showers, locker rooms, bathrooms, and other sex-specific facilities in schools, there is reason for concern.

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The Sport of Romance ...

41yKfnPz5gL.jpg
Yes, another anthology of my stories out on Amazon!
Here is the link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09WLFWVNC
This picks up on some recent discussion on transgender sportspeople in the news, but my stories are strictly for entertainment and hopefully to pull a little on the heartstrings.

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Today, I must pretend I'm okay

This morning I found myself thinking about my rapes and my gender issues.

When I first went for counseling, all I was hoping for was to find out for sure if my rapes had caused me to be transgender. I didn't think it would be possible to heal me from the damage done, but I hoped to understand and perhaps settle the issue of my gender identity.

The result was it seems that the two issues are not connected in a cause and effect way, so if one had been removed, I would still be dealing with the other.

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UK Opinions on Trans/Bathrooms/Sport

I found this while looking at some YouGov polls. This is from 2020.

https://yougov.co.uk/topics/politics/articles-reports/2020/0...

Overall it concludes - Britons support the right of transgender people to use facilities for their chosen gender, but oppose making the legal transition process easier

50% to 27% Britons believe that people should be allowed to self-identify as a gender different to the one they were assigned at birth.

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Weekly Zoom meeting

Wendy Marsden is inviting you to a video Zoom meeting. Every week on Sunday at 4:00 PM (Texas time,10:00PM (GMT), 11:00PM German time) I will have a one hour zoom meeting for trans woman only. Please feel free to invite other trans women if you were invited. You have to ask to be put on this list. Once you are on the list you will get a notification every week. You can always opt out. I plan on having a meeting every week while there is interest.

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Ashleigh Blayze. Legacy of the Anari

I just finished this amazing tale at 4:00 am this morning and feel completely "read out". I've tried to deduce what happened to the Author and I feel the outcome was dark.

I think that people should live their lives and never put themselves in the hands of Professionals. Such a talented Author too.

Gwen

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The Cost of War

The horrible war in the Ukraine has cost at least 900 civilian lives. Often the civilians suffer more than the armies.

What did surprise me was when I looked into civilian casualties in other wars.

WW2
Twice as many civilians died in World War II than did members of the military. Current estimates place military deaths between 21 million and 25.5 million people.

WW1
Total number of deaths includes 9.7 million military personnel and about 10 million civilians.

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We've applied for housing on the south side of Edmonton

So, I finally finished an application for subsidized housing on the south side of Edmonton for mom and me.

Being closer to Sharon and Sam would be a good thing, and maybe if my mom isn't here she wont have as much paranoia about my sister in law. (I know, unlikely, considering what dementia does, but I can hope)

Personally I have mixed feelings about leaving. I've felt safe here, which has been a rare thing for me, but the long drives are tough, and I think I can still be of some good to my mom by staying with her, or at least I hope so.

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Looking for a story

I am looking for a story. The main character is a boy who is asked by his ex-girlfriends mother to perform a service. The Mother went to a witch go get a love potion that would make him and her daughter be in love the cost of the potion was ? years service to the witch. The ex girlfriend decided not try to get the boy back as a boyfriend and the Mother still had to pay the witch the agreeded price. The mother finds she is sick and dying and that her daughter would have to pay the price. Since the boy caused the daughters depression the mother askes him to work her service time. He agrees.

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Missing Without A Trace - News

Wow! I just got an update notification from Smashwords. In the last two months my book, Missing Without A Trace: A Kelly Mitchell Mystery, has sold fourteen copies since being placed in their premium catalog.

I am thrilled and amazed!!
Thank you to any of you who purchased it. It is really appreciated!

charlie

missing without a trace - cover_0.jpg

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Hot time in the ol' town tonight

Just in the last 30 minutes two big brush fires have blown up near us. The temp is 81F, the humidity is a paltry 19%, and the wind is out of the south at 28mph gusting to 32mph. No sooner does a fire start then it blows up big time. One fire is just a couple of miles east and a mile or so north of us, the smoke is choking. Karen is on 100% O2 and I'm going to load her up and head to the local IHOP where we can wait it out. Not worried about the house, it's not in danger, breathing is the problem.

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This week's zoom meeting

Has tied up for tonight. Including myself we had three authors in this week's meeting. As a matter of policy I am not going to mention names. If they want to respond they can always post to this blog. I will be having this meeting every week for trans girls only. If you want to participate you have but to ask. It will be held every Sunday at 5:00 PM CMT. Until I stop paying for it will likely only happen when I croak.

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Looking for two separate stories. (old)

I _believe_ both of these stories are from Fictionmania. At least, they were.

1) boy is body swapped by a witch. end of story is mainly in the woods, where the 'new' boy realizes that she has no powers anymore, as she's locked into the boy's body. This is not the version that has adults in it, they're definitely teens.

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Just because I know folks worry

Hey everyone,

I thought that I would pop on, try to update y'all, and post a chapter of Snow Angel while I have the energy to be out of bed for a bit. This cold really is hanging on and I'm still feeling super tired and having trouble shaking the cough but at least I felt up to getting out of bed today. I still need my rest and likely won't be getting much work done until I have more energy but I seem to be on the mend so I wanted to let my readers know what's happening so I don't worry anyone.

*big hugs*

Amethyst

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I AM BACK! after over 9 months! New Shadowsblade is up!!

Well I am back and I hope I have not lost too many steps in getting this one posted

On my end had lots of changes with housemates moving in temporally with kids that NEVER slow down and are rarely silent. But you got to help other in need even if you sacrifice a VERY clean home to the dirty kids god or devil!

BUT since I am back please read and nit me up with what ya feel on this posted story? I am not sure its back in my flow jsut yet, but more will come soon-ish!

Be evil...Be a Drow we have poison cake!

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Looking for a story

I'm looking for a story I read a couple of years back.
The plot goes: A man is looking for a job. He notices an advertisement on the side of a building he never noticed before. He goes in and is told to go for his interview he walks down the corridor for a long time. The story goes from there he is changed to a female, life-sucking aliens, spacecraft, ect.

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A Purim Story

A Purim Story

Hi. If you are celebrating Purim tonight and tomorrow, or you want to know something about a interesting holiday, and you are not too inebriated to not understand the difference between a Bless Haman and Curse Mordechai , you may wish to learn how a miracle happens for Robyn, in my story, “The King’s Outstreched Sceptre”.

A Freilach Purim

Rami

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The Patriarchy, Is it real? Does it need smashing

When I see feminists waving "Smash the Patriarchy" banners it annoys and amuses me. The "All men are Rapists" ones just annoy me.

There is no real agreement as to what the Patriarchy is. It seems to be used as a catchall to be used by feminists.

There was a theory that ancient society's were matriarchal, but that theory seems to be discredited now. Hunter gathers do seem to be more egalitarian, rather than matriarchal.

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Water Damage

Saturday morning, Norma and I were woke up by one of our sons knocking on our door and saying there was water pouring into his room. His room is directly below our en-suite bathroom, and as i ascended from sleep, I heard water spraying. We wondered if someone was showering in the main bathroom (right beside ours) and the answer was no. I opened the door to our bathroom to find water running across the floor. A fitting underneath the sink had broke during the night, and water was spraying all over under the sink.

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Citizenship 101

The other day it was suggested that not many realize that the U.S. is a republic versus a democracy, or that many know the difference. I’m sure that’s a fair statement.

I grew up in a state with very small population. We were well aware of the steps our government took to protect the rights of minorities. Residents of my home state used minority rights arguments to justify the fact that we had two senators for every 300,000 people while a state like New York also had two senators with their many millions of citizens.

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Weekly zoom meeting

Every week on Sunday at 4:00 PM (Texas time) I will have a one hour zoom meeting for trans woman only. Please feel free to invite other trans women if you were invited. You have to ask to be put on this list. Once you are on the list you will get a notification every week. You can always opt out. I plan on having a meeting every week while there is interest. So far we do have several members of BCTS participating. Invitations will be sent out every Friday afternoon.

https://www.time.gov/

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Slowly...

The writing is going slowly, which I think is understandable. Besides completing the disposal of Mother's estate I am (Finally!) completing the income tax information needed to send off to the CPA. So, it will be a while before I post anything new.

I might post some of the early Gifted Saga stories, which are about Marian Holst. They have little or no TG material but plenty about transformations and their aftermath.

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Trans Ladies and Casual Sexism , do you see it?

What I'm wondering is those that transistioned after say, 20 years old, do you notice sexist remarks and how you are treated differently as a female than you were presenting as a male.

One of my stories had some of this in.The character was laughed at when she gave an opinion on football. Her partner ordered her drink and food without even asking herThis was guesswork though.

In the 80's I saw a documentary where a man posed as a women for a few days with hidden cameras.(post Tootsie)

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Keir Starmer falls foul of JK Rowling

Sir Keir Starmer on Friday that ‘trans women are women’. Labour’s leader had attempted to end criticism that its MPs were tying themselves up in knots over what defines a woman.

Asked the question in a newspaper interview, he said: ‘A woman is a female adult and, in addition to that, trans women are women, and that is not just my view – that is actually the law. He added: ‘It has been the law through the combined effects of the 2004 [Gender Recognition] Act and the 2010 [Equality] Act.

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a day with two girls while mostly undressed

last night I had a dream that reminded me of something that actually happened.

When I was 16, we returned to Calgary after spending a year in Denver, and I was lucky enough to fall into a group of people who were into D&D, including some girls. later, in summer, two of the girls invited me to come over and spend the day with them.

As it was very hot, they soon decided to strip to their underwear, and encouraged me to do the same.

Nothing even slightly sexual happened, we just watched tv and played some games.

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NHS services for children's gender identity can't cope with demand.

According to an article, children's services are overwhelmed by demand from youngsters who are uncertain about their gender. It is problematic for the youngsters who may develop other issues while having to wait 2 years or more for an initial appointment. However, things might eventually improve as a study has suggested that there need to be more regional hubs to deal with it involving a range of doctors and therapists who wouldn't otherwise be associated.

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Has the site gone wonky? EDIT All ok now.

I tried to post my new short story. It seemed to post but when I checked it was 0 words. I edited it, now you can see a preview, but when you try to look, 0 words again.

Not seen that before.

It's called Dress Codes. I thought I'd write something normal after my pervy foot stuff LOL

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This week's Sunday zoom meeting

Wendy Jean is inviting you to a Zoom meeting.Last week we had two authors not counting myself and a BCTS member. If you want to know who you have to come to the meeting.If you would like to join this weeks just send me a PM and I will send you an invite.As always it will be this Sunday 4:00 PM to 5:00 PM Texas time (CMT). If you're not sure about time zones you can look at this site:
https://www.time.gov/

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Late again

So I didn’t forget you all nope, I’m just a bit weary. Why I don’t here you ask? Well I’ll tell you anyway.

I hinted at a trip the other day and that has come to fruition. Yep, after best part of 3 years I’m finally on a mini bike trip. It’s nothing grand, today I rode down from Bristol to Somerset’s other seaside resort, Minehead. It’s not a huge distance, a mere 120km, but with the strong winds and latterly a few steep climbs, it’s been quite a tough day.

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MisterGendered Dream

A few days ago, I had a really vivid dream, where I was in class (I think it was high school), and the teacher called on me. My hackles went up when he called me, "Mister Brown", and I said, "It's Miss, not Mister." When the teacher asked me why I said that, I told him it was because I was a girl, not a boy. I'm not sure where I got up the nerve to talk back like that. I think it was more because I was more angry than scared of the teacher.

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Scottish gender recognition reform bill - JK Rowling

The Gender Recognition Reform (Scotland) Bill will amend the Gender Recognition Act 2004 to introduce new criteria for applicants who wish to obtain a Gender Recognition Certificate (GRC).

Obtaining a GRC means a trans person is legally recognised in their acquired gender and can obtain a new birth certificate showing that gender.

The Bill will require applicants to make a legally binding declaration that they intend to live permanently in their acquired gender. They will no longer need to provide medical reports or evidence.

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Health concerns

I've been informed that I have aortic stenosis but no one is sure how long I have had it. This does explain the feelings of being tired and having little strength to do anything strenuous (or simply walking for more than a few minutes)
I don't know really why I'm posting this here. Maybe just to get it out of my head. For now, I have to we if i can get an appointment with a cardiologist.

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Any one remember Phil Donahue hosting cross-dressers?

I'm writing a story that references Phil Donahue having cross-dressers on his show and I want to get the time frame correct. I need to know just how old one of my characters needs to be to have seen the show.

I can find them on YouTube, but can't find out when they aired.

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dreaming of dysphoria

So last night, I dreamed I was back in school, and for some reason, after one class I was escorted around by a girl.

She was wearing a pretty black dress with rhinestones, and dark hose that was still sheer enough to show she had a tattoo on her thigh, and I was just dying of jealousy.

I woke feeling sad.

ah, well.

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Is Gender Identity Conflict real

After spending most of my life distrusting and hating men, it seems that has been mostly a waste of time. Thousands and thousands of dollars are spent trying to find someone to help us feel right. In the final analysis it is up to us to live the way that seems right to us and save our money.

Gwen

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