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"The Killing Joke"

I was watching "Atop the fourth wall" on Youtube, and he did a review of "the Killing Joke", which is a Batman story. The main theme of the story is the Joker believes what separates him from regular people is just one bad day.

He's wrong, of course, and I can show proof by pointing to many of my friends who have had "one bad day" - in many cases it was much more than just one day - and who are kind, generous, and would never hurt anybody.

Now, if you're wondering why I don't use me as an example, the answer is simple.

Unlike my friends, I'm broken and dangerous.

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Final Chapter and Epilogue of You Are a Meany

I have finally sent the final chapter along with the epilogue to my editor. That means when she is done it will be posted. I just want to make sure that she gets the thanks and credit she deserves for the work she put into this story. She not only helped by pointing out errors in writing, she also made sure that I stay true to how I saw the story. That what I pictured in my mind was conveyed on the pages.

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Gaby heads up!

So, a two part message for all you Gaby fans out there.

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Firstly, i finished the next chapter of 'Smell of the Crowd' (which may not be the final title), the 27th Gaby book earlier today, my Patreon supporters can read that first draft now. BTW, a massive thank you to everyone who is supporting via Patreon, a steady income really does help keep the constructive juices going!

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Hatbox funds needed VERY quickly - Please help

We're pretty near broke. Less than $400 in our BigCloset accounts. A bit of month left too, and some bills, two due tomorrow (Friday) that total $480. We're still short on contributions in the new year by about $1800. If you can help us out, it will be greatly appreciated.

-Hugs,
Erin, Piper, Cat, Amy, Liam, Jamie and the elves

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I'm very frustrated with myself

I've been working on a sequel to "Demonstration Model" and I'm getting frustrated with myself.

I've developed a reputation for flash fiction, and while that's not bad, sometimes, I'd like to actually let a story breathe a bit.

But that's not happening with this story. I'm 370 words in, and I'm going to be lucky to end up with over 500 words.

sighs . . .

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Big Rock Candy Mountain Detour by me, about me

I'm currently writing and posting my autobiography here on BC and on Patreon. The current episode, #4 - Doodlebug Wages, in on the BC front page right now.

These are from personal memories (yes, I do remember things that happened when I was two) and family stories and most of them show what an incredible spoiled brat I was. :)

I hope you read them, enjoy and leave a comment.

Hugs,
Erin

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BCTS February's "Magic of The Heart" Story Contest is near!

This is an unofficial blog announcing the contest. I'm throwing this up tonight so everyone has a chance to think about it. The basic requirements are that it is a story of Love or Loss for Valentine's Day. I'm giving the option as I'm open to both types. The cash prizes will total between $400- $500. The payout will be on March 3.

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Sponsored zoom meeting

I am trying to start weekly video zoom meeting for trans girls like myself. My preferred time though that is negotiable is 7:00 PM Sundays CMT. If you would like to join this meeting PM me through this website and I will send you an invite and details. You will need to create a zoom account (it is free). You can use a phone or a computer with a camera on it.

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Published?

The far right column in the My Stories page has the title Published, and shows that every one of my stories has been published.

That seems to indicate there must be a way of loading stories without publishing them. How, and does it mean I could load every chapter of a story I'm publishing in parts, and then publish each chapter at some later date?

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The Toxic Planet - Kudos - Broken foot.

Good afternoon everyone. I managed to break my foot yesterday. My 5th metatarsal. So have been fitted with a giant spaceman boot( they didn't come in pink with a heel. I asked and got a giggle from the nurses. If only they knew). I bet I could make a story out of that. LOL

I have BUPA with my job, but they don't do A&E. Again I thank god for our wonderful free NHS. Arrived at emergency minor injuries at 7.30pm waited 20 mins. Saw a nurse, hobbled 50 yards to xray. Then hobbled back, and a boot and xray were waiting for me. I dread to think how much that would cost elsewhere.

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I had an unusual dream

Okay last night I had a very unusual dream.

it started with me in school, and discovering I was failing in a class, and feeling very upset about that.

Then I went out of that classroom and realized that the building was some kind of construct, and I could walk through the walls.

So that's exactly what I did.

I had one scary moment when someone grabbed my arm as I was walking through a wall, but I told them to let me go or something messy would happen, and they let me go.

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OucH THat hurts!

Firsr off please escuse the atrocious typing, it will be explained later. I live in the cold blerry midwest, specfically Davepoirt, Iowa. After our normqal meeting on Skype to let eveyone know what eveyone else would be doing, I welt to get on my car and go to anotehr school building that keeded my attention.

'
For thosie not familiar with the weater in the upper midwest of the can be quite bitter. it's not unusual to see it drop to -25 F or even lower this time of year. I apparetly found a very slippery spot on the ice and did not make it to my car.

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Getting an Edge in Word-wise

When you get it all rounded up, it's time to square it away.

Anyday now, it will be someday every day.

If you miss the point, you may find yourself stuck.

Don't chicken out and duck your responsibilities, or you'll have no right to grouse about the consequences.

First thing to do with good luck is learn to make it last.

Every dog has his day, and every shaggy dog has his story.

If bears wore tights under their slacks, they wouldn't have to hibernate.

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Finding time to write

I shall be posting another Joiner's chapter shortly and probably another Drew Goes South, tomorrow. However, my university course is getting ever more demanding and I'm possibly going to have even less time than I do now, I'll have overlapping modules for a few months, the new one is the one that requires the equivalent of a dissertation, though I'm hoping the fieldwork I'll need to do for that will be fun.

Anyway, please take this as notice that my posting may be more erratic than usual.

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Drat you, you awesome author you - A descent into awesomeness.

"Gaby with her singing career" - Maddy Bell, 2022/01/23 "The Sound of Music" blog entry

My finances have sucked for years. Some years ago I finally decided I've got to stop buying Gaby books as they come out. And eventually I succeeded. And then the next book out was "Gaby Ontario". And I agonized and I fretted. And eventually I said "OK. I live in Ontario. I can buy just one more." And I bought it.

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Thought's on why we are, what we are

I have been chatting to Patricia on here for a day or two. She kindly offered to help me with images for my stories.

She sent me a link to her story on the site, Silence is Golden. I was not surprised how much her story reflected my own to some extent.
There were a few things she asks that I asked myself or was asked by my wife.

Here are some of my thoughts. Excerts from her story are in bold.

Why do I want to wear the clothes?

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Lost quotes from a non-existent saga

Feeling better today, an unscheduled bunch of showers settled the dust, so not as many sneezles, even though the wind is still blowing.

Opened an old file for a story called Masquerade War, which I have never written but first conceived of in about 1969. I really haven't written it in part because Marvel did a similar idea in their Secret Wars event. Sigh, not the first time something like that has happened.

Anyway, here are some of the quotes from this file:

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Another Mother Update

Mother is home, in her room, in a hospital-type bed, courtesy of Hospice/Care Navigators. She has two caregivers (arranged by my sister, with help from her youngest daughter) for round-the-clock care. Considering that she was diagnosed with advanced liver cancer over two months ago, she's doing quite well. How much longer she'll do well we don't know.

We still don't know what caused her stroke-like problem, a week and a half ago. In fact, we still don't know what is causing her gut upset, which she's been suffering from for nearly two years.

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dodging bullets

Well, "dodging bullets" seems to be a theme around here today.

My brother dodged a bullet when we found out he hadn't dislocated his knee or torn tendons as we had feared, but had just inflamed everything. Bit of rest, and then light exercise, and he will be on the road to recovery.

Mom and I dodged a bullet dealing with COVID, as while we couldn't get a test to confirm, it seems likely we had a mild version of the disease, meaning the fact we were both vaccinated probably prevented us from needing to be hospitalized.

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Good Intentions

Good Afternoon dear friends,

I stopped working on my story, Camouflage, back in November. I have no excuse to offer. Things weren't working out for me and I realized I needed to stop. I don't like leaving things unfinished. I'm working again.

I've amended the story to make it flow better. My plan is to share that effort soon.

Leslie

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Finishing a story feels wierd?

I finished Surgeons Lodger last night. 26 parts. This is the first story of any length I have written.

I have several other stories that are multipart, but nothing like that long. Bright boy was 22 chapter's long, but I was feeding off Bev's 90 Chapter story.

Do people prefer reading long running stories or shorter ones?

I'm not sure I want to write another that long, yet there are some huge ongoing stories on here. How do you keep them going?

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Understand One's Own Medical

Have been running into lack of knowledge in my medical doctors who are supposedly transgender and intersex knowledgeable. One flat out told me she had no training or understanding of the needs of what transgender care means. I told her it was normal as we are the smallest minority so who would want to waste precious time studying those like us? Yesterday I passed over some data to my psychiatrist she had never looked into. Yes, I see one as most all of us do.

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Amy Schneider ‘Jeopardy!’ success

Please read BOTH links

" Schneider is also the first woman to amass more than $1 million on the program, making her the most successful female contestant and the most successful transgender contestant of all time."

“‘Jeopardy!’ has been a boys’ club ... and a lot of it is about all the messages that you get from society that this isn’t what women do. That women don’t know things,” Schneider says.

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More Love to Amy

Amy Schneider continues to win on Jeopardy.

Today, she revealed that she is re-reading one of her favorite books, "Catch-22."

Joseph Heller's black comedy is by far my favorite novel. Catch 22 could have been tossed in the dustbin many times. First -- it took Heller forever to write it. Then it was only a mediocre seller in hard copy. It wasn't until it was put out on paperback and sold for .75 that it took off and became a hit. I read it first when I was fifteen. And have read it many times since.

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Cathy Michael called.

Cathy Linda Michael just called me to reassure me she's okay.

She's not ready to 'pop her clogs yet' (her words not mine). She's now fit enough to chat on skype but not too often and she's improving slightly yet slowly.

We chatted for about 20 mins and she sends her love to everybody.

That's all the news for now.

Beverly.

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Please Help

In this world of algorithms and jackasses, certain things do and do not count.

Bezo is a jackass.

BC needs revenue to stay viable.

BC generates a considerable amount of revenue through the sale of my books. The more positive review for my books, the more books Amazon will sell. I don't take anything from this revenue flow.

Therefore, please read the book, and then review the book. The cash coming into BC counts.

Bezo's jackassery doesn't count.

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Cold Rain Gotta Fall by Erin Halfelven on Patreon for Members

An abused teenager finds a glimpse of hope in the rain...
 

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Cold Rain Gotta Fall
by Erin Halfelven
On Patreon for members only

Caution: 

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********** Amazon

I have had nothing but grief from Amazon/Kindle over publishing the latest book. What really grates is that it is entirely done by automated message.

Their gripe is that my writing is still here, and therefore I 'do not hold copyright'. As an attempt to break the routine of their bots, I have therefore removed the contents of the stories in the new book. If it works, great, and I shall then try and restore them here.

The work this morning to enable that was further interrupted, first by a Micro**** auto update, and then by a power cut.

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Christmas Contest - Please Read if you entered

I need everyone who won something in the Christmas Contest, monetary prize or DopplerPress book, to send me a PM with Christmas Contest as the subject and with content that clearly describes what you need, money or ebook, or contribution of prize money to the Hatbox.

I know several people have already PMd me or contacted me some other way with this info but it's been a hectic few days and I'm still fighting off this humongous tiredness I've had for months. My PM and email boxes are so cluttered, I can't find anything easily.

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News & Fiction

A member of the British aristocracy has been in the news media rather a lot recently and it took me a moment to remember that I had included a very minor scene in one of the stories that included the name of said person. Today that's been airbrushed out of the story.

I don't remember having to do this before, but I guess it might happen again as my stories live in the Real World (tm)

Shiraz

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My brother has had a bad couple of days

My brother Mike has had a bad couple of days.

It started with him finding out yesterday that a good friend is in the hospital after their vehicle was struck by a train.

And then today he tried to help me shovel the walk and made his knee worse, to the point he couldn't hardly walk.

so if you're the praying type, some prayers for my family would be appreciated.

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Uncertain Future

My Mother took a turn for the worse Tuesday. We're not sure, but she may have had a stroke. We were just lucky the nurse from Care Navigators was there for her weekly visit and got Mother transferred to the closest Hospice facility immediately. Mother is currently in the Hospice/Care Navigators section of Saint Joseph Hospital in Lexington, Kentucky.

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Well... what a season!!!

Well, this has been an interesting couple of months!

Of course, at the end of November, we had Thanksgiving in the US. This was not unexpected, nor was the sudden explosion of colorful, twinkling lights in the Spokane, Washington area following the holiday. In fact, it was rather pleasant.

Taxonomy upgrade extras: 

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Natalie Barrett's Tuck Everlasting

I thought I would talk about Natalie Barrett's children's book, Tuck Everlasting. It is a story, written in the late nineteen-seventies. It starts in early 19th century America. A pioneering family, the Tucks, stumble upon a spring with water that gives them immortality when drunk. Although it take them another some years to realize it, they find they have to go undercover to go on living their lives. Because each time their secret is discovered, they are denounced as demons, devils, or witches.

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hopeful dreams

yesterday I had two dreams that have me thinking I might be going in a good direction.

In the first I was in line to see a movie and wanted to make sure I'd be able to stop at the concession stand, and in the second I was at university and headed towards my locker after my last class.

What made these dreams different was that I knew where I wanted to go, I just had to make the journey, instead of feeling anxious that I wouldn't be able to find what I was looking for.

So hopeful, I think.

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having a breakdown in Walmart

So Mom and I thought we were feeling well enough to go get some groceries, but while walking around Walmart, my knee tweaked and Mom told me to go back to the car.

Once back at the car, I had a complete breakdown - crying, shaking, and not being able to stop.

Fortunately I had myself under control by the time mom came out with the groceries, so she didn't see my breakdown, but honestly, I still feel pretty shaky

so hugs appreciated.

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Reposting my Gaby trilogy

I'm going to repost the three books that make up my fanfic Gaby in Dorset Trilogy here. I've agreed this with Mads who of course invented the
main characters that the story involves.but is different enough to show my take on the Gabyverse, a bit more angst and action all with my off-beat sense of humour. For those who haven't seen them before, do enjoy them, for those who have seen them, do enjoy them again. I'm re-editing as I go along so they should read slightly better.

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I have added and edited to the first chapter of my new story I posted

I have began another story here and I wonder. I call it Fugitive from the republic and its a story set in the star wars and its like a fan fiction from it. But I wonder if there are enough fans here that like that sort of thing or not. And I wonder if anyone would be interested in helping me with it. This chapter is really as far as I have so far. Its an idea thats been in my head for some time but its as far as I have thought to. I have some ideas how to proceed

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Amy Schneider

Amy won again today on Jeopardy. She is the first transgender contestant to have this much success -- closing in on $1 million in total winnings.

It is her serenity as much as her amazing knowledge base that makes her so much fun to watch.

Today - at a crucial point of the contest, an answer she gave was judged wrong. She is rarely wrong. I turned to my spouse and said, "They've got to correct that! Her answer was just as correct as the answer they said was correct." About five minutes later, they corrected their error and gave her credit for the answer.

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slowly recovering and being a delivery girl

a health update: most of my flu symptoms have ended except I have a runny nose, and its hard to complain about that when I have felt so bad the last couple of days.

I have also started working on a new story, which has started out being something more appropriate to Halloween than now, which has me thinking once more that I am not the creator of my stories, they just arrive, and my only job is to be a good delivery girl and pass them on.

Anyway, that's my update for now..

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I'm Back On!

Okay, to make a long story short, my pc was taken out by a worm that f'ed up the bios controls that then fried my processor and motherboard and took out the hard drive too that had all my contest stuff on it. It was a Russian worm that they dont have a commercial means of removing yet. And it came from an anime site and I had used the vivaldi browser. Because of the way vivaldi worked, the browser let stuff load before it blocked it. Well, live and learn. Im using Firefox plain and simple. No more Chrome.

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Resolutions

According to one article the most popular New Year's Resolutions are:

  1. Exercise more
  2. Lose weight
  3. Get organized
  4. Learn a new skill or hobby
  5. Live life to the fullest

That same article states that people making resolutions are successful 46% percent of the time.

My success ratio for the hundreds of resolutions I've made is zero.

However, I'm curious if any of you have made a resolution regarding your writing or reading practices on BC.

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Blwyddyn Newydd Dda

I wish you all a peaceful, prosperous and healthy 2022. The fact that all of these can be magically achieved by reading stories here and commenting on them (especially my ones, natch).

May we finally emerge from the spectre of Covid in all its awful varieties and start to live again but also to be kind to each other.

Finally, a toast to absent friends, may we always remember those who are no longer with us.

Angharad, Bonzi and Whizz.

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Looking for a story

I’m looking for two stories

One is about someone makes a bet with a friend because his girlfriend who I think is named M (something) left him so he can’t get a promotion because it doesn’t look like he is settling down. His friend has to pretend to be her in front of his boss I think it was on Crystal story site and the male character might be named John.

The other one is a body swap where a young male student maybe a musician swaps bodies in the middle of the night with his teacher who is having sex with her husband and ends up being a better mom.

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Cathy called

Cathy Michel called me from a rehab hospital to ask me to post a blog for her. She's getting better and is hoping to be able to go home soon but her energy is very low. She can visit the site on her laptop now, but posting is a bit more effort than she has stamina for.

Keep her close to your heart, please, she's part of what makes BigCloset such a wonderful friendly place.

Hugs,
Erin

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I am doing it for the right reasons?

I wonder if I am going to be doing my SRS/GRS for the right reasons. My friend mentioned that if you are not doing it for the sex, then why do you do it?
No I might hope that I could have a sexual relationship, given my age and my social awkwardness, it seems unlikely to ever happen.

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Thank you

I think I first discovered this site when I was about 14 or 15. I must've come here every day to read the stories posted here. These stories got me through the absolute worst moments in high school. I fell off when I went to university, but throughout the pandemic I was feeling nostalgic and I went back through the site (and some old bookmarks) to re-read some of my favourites. It was crushing seeing how many names have since been added to the memoriam. I just wanted to thank everyone.

Maybe it's only interesting to me but these were some of my absolute favourites as a teen:

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