... I'm scheduled to be meeting with a therapist.

I'm not sure if I'm ready. I feel like I'm wading into a lake, and years of memories are being stirred up as I walk. The water is too murky to see my own feet, and I'm not certain how deep the lake is, or how far I can go before I slip into the deep end. Right now, just the thought of letting a complete stranger look into those waters, and see whatever might float to the surface, is a bit ... terrifying. I really hope I'm in better shape tomorrow.

So I had just about finished a long post with some pictures for you when Firefox decided to refresh and lost the whole thing.

As a result you won't be getting all that I wrote about my rides, visiting Imber and so on. There is a new Gaby chapter up, my desktop has blown up which is why i'm using Firepox on my steam powered lappy, here is a picture from yesterdays ride and one of me earlier - I didn't have any red dye so i've gone a bit, er blue!

A bit ago it came to light that an author can request no comments be allowed on their story.
My general policy is if there are no comments, it means the story will not be read.
And if the lead in synopsis feels a bit sketchy or very vague, the story will be ignored.
An exception to that might happen if I am acquainted with the author's style from previous stories.
In years past, I have started reading a story only to find it wasn't something I wished to read for one reason or another.

okay, its dream time again.

last night I dreamed I was working in a place that kind of reminded me of Black Mesa from the game Half Life. But unlike the game, we were not evacuating, but we were moving.

After helping a woman with some offices, I went to see if I could help anybody else, when one of the senior people there told me we had a spy somewhere in the facility, and asked me to do a search.

Luxuriating on the beach with a real book and tea.

I've sorta been ... obsessing ... about seeing a therapist in a few days. There were just lots of stuff ... I don't know the name of the stuff ... but it was filling me up to overflowing. And then, I became disconnected from the stuff, but it sorta ... kept going without me. And that stuff somehow turned into the song below. I'm still feeling disconnected, and I'm not sure if I can make sense of the song, but I sorta just needed to say what's in this song, because ... I'm not sure. It just feels like something that really needs to say. Umm ...

I've finally got my finger out and done some actual writing! Its the start of a new Gabysode that sits after Book 26 but i'm not sure where it fits or even if it fits in the following books. Anyhow, my Patreon supporters should have exclusive access to it now - not a supporter? well get over to Patreon, the basic package starts from £3 per month https://www.patreon.com/user?u=38088018&fan_landing=true

Have fun
Madeline Anafrid

Thanks to everyone who checked out ‘Ground Rush’, bought it or read it with Kindle Unlimited. You’ve given me my best ever month on the Amazon platform.

If you did read it, a review would be appreciated, when you get the chance.

I recently had a row with my wife. She told me I bottle everything up and I don't show my emotions. What I wonder is this because I'm a man? Or is it due to the fact that I longed to be a girl?

My wife knew I liked to occasionally dress before we married, when the kids come along I was forbidden to do it and still am. I do everything without her knowledge now. Hotel stays when working, fishing holidays etc, allows Leeanna time.

I've only just finished reading "Life Giver", by Melanie Brown and was greatly impressed. This book is as professional and easy to read as it gets, in my opinion. I tried to leave a comment at Amazon but can't figure that out. There are other very good Authors at BCTS, but leaving them a comment is quite easy.

Thank you Melanie.

Gwen Brown

for nobody.

I just heard that Charlie Watts, the drummer of The Rolling Stones, died.

I met him back in 1963, when The Stones were just getting started, and he was a lovely guy, the only one of them who wasn't either so far up himself or high on something, who gave a fan a little facetime and some conversation, without being in any way condescending.

Apart from that, he was one of those mostly unsung brilliant drummers who anchored the group for over fifty years. It makes me feel very sad and very much mortal to hear of his death as he was only a few months older than me.

I was very late to learn to read and in the early 50s, the teachers I'd had were neither patient or gentle. A teacher I had in the 4th grade, instead of lecturing me, gave me a book that looked very interesting and sitting with a child's dictionary and that book I learned to read somewhat. The name of the book was 'Bull Dozer' and looking, a used copy of it on Amazon is $90. Later in the 7th grade, my teacher noticed my idle fiddling and handed me an encyclopedia to read. By the end of that year, I'd read them all.

So, as it says on the tin, I'm looking for a pre-reader to give solid, detailed feedback on plot, character development and world building. I don't need my ego stroked, but if the limit of the feedback is it's great/sucked, that doesn't help me. I need someone who can articulate, in depth how they are/aren't enjoying the overall story, the world the story is told in, and the characters as they interact with each other.

This time it's me asking about an author here
who goes/went by the handle Limbo's Mistress
In 2020 she was posting some fantastic serials
and she and I were getting to be PM-Pals...

Claire: “Thank you for understanding, Penelope. I know it’s not ideal…but that’s the life of a WunderGirl.”

Shauna's tale of the WunderGirls and WunderBoys is back!

but I've been out today

Puzzled. I now have ten chapters of 'Rainbows///' up, and for some reason Chapter 10 is being sorted between Chapter 1 and Chapter 2. Any ideas, hive mind?

After a marathon edit session today between me and a good friend who's acting as editor in exchange for future cookies, Part 2 of Book 4 Light And Shadow is posted!

Tomorrow continues mad editing on Part 3! After groceries. And housework chores. And playing with neglected kitties. (Okay, they're totally not neglected, just spent half an hour with a kitten chasing a dangled shoelace...)

Hope people enjoy! If you do, feel free to leave a comment! Thanks!! :)

- Erisian <3

Hello out there,

I wanted to let you all know that the next Writing Walker's Path is out on my website!

Writing Walker's Path is something I started doing after the release of the story. The blog posts talk all about my thought process and sometimes hints at what is going to happen in the future. There are other "Writing Walker's Path" episodes for other chapters on there as well so make sure to read them all!

You can read Chapter 11's here.

got a body blow today.

Carol told me Mike had a meltdown on the weekend. He got very angry at an employee at the wildlife park over nothing

this is very much unlike him, but something she was warned about as his disease progresses

he went for a test today, the results will tell us if it is getting worse for sure, but he's already told Carol that if he ever gets violent she has his permission to put him into long term care

the worst thing of getting the news about Mike today was it was Sam's grad today, and I hate that I couldn't be happier for her

Hello out there,

Walker's Path Chapter 11 is out!

I mean you can probably see it on the list but it's out!

I hope you enjoy it!

I'm going to be working on the "Writing Walker's Path" today and will release it tomorrow so keep an eye out!

Lots of love,
Katherine

It's been a few years since I've seen a therapist. I'd stopped, because it was starting to bring up stuff I felt like I couldn't handle. I still ain't sure if I can handle it, but stuff seems to be bubbling up, and trying to ignore it doesn't seem to be helping any more. So, I've decided to try contacting my healthcare provider today.

I'm really, really nervous about looking for a therapist to help me with stuff. I'm tired of hiding from my past, but I'm also scared of facing it. Anybody got any suggestions on how to do this with the least amount of issues?

I wrote this after responding to a self castration story, and a suicide storie.

This deals with those of us that are born with a small extra amount of flesh between our legs, that stamps us as male, and set us on a fixed course in life.

I often wonder. If men and women were treated the same, dressed the same, played the same roles in society. Would those that hate their bodies feel the need to end it, or remove the offending parts?

Always comes into play when you think you are on top of things!

I was on Fictionmania a few days back. I read a story where teenage boys were fed hormones by their mothers after fighting at school.
It was fairly normal stuff, it wasn't particularly badly written. It was by an author called Metmanmornge.

There were a few nasty reviews. One said it was so bad it should be deleted. Another said it made no sense as the boys would beat their mother to death before this happened etc. It was pointed out that the site was called Fictionmania, and the story was fiction. I suggested if people didn't like it, they should just stop reading.

I was just reminded of "Through the Looking Glass", a scene in which if you approached someone, he got farther from you. Trying to chase an FTL spacecraft has a Looking-Glass aspect, as I discovered while equation-crunching and number-crunching for my story.

well that's the name one of yesterdays Strava segments goes by,

It's all over but the goodbyes...

Kissy has decisions to take and plans to make and...sniff! Goodbye, Kissy, we love you!

So I finished the blog entry on my Dad and his heart this morning, and I leaned back in my office chair. I guess I must have, somehow, entered unknowingly into a wager saying the day couldn't be worse. Thus, my office chair decided it no longer liked me, so it leaned all the way back, depositing me in a rather undignified manner onto the floor behind it.

I was just finishing my games of scrabble with my parents and sister at around 3:30 this morning, when I saw a notification come through my phone saying my mom was in the ER with my dad because he had chest pain. I talked to Mom for a bit, then spent the rest of the night sleepless. Finally got to a very fitful sleep about 6:30 AM.

The hospital says it's something serious with his heart, but not a heart attack.

I set a fictional semi-monastic retreat in this place, where my character Ambrose lived and cared for Angharad, Elaine's mother-in-law in 'Sisters'.

I then read a series of comic fantasies by Heide Goody and Iain Grant, where a monastery was set on the same island, with a monk called Ambrose... spooky

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-58180169

My most popular story on here (assessed by likes) is ‘If You’re Done’. You can read it right here on BigCloset, but I thought that perhaps some folks would like it have it in a format that they can download and keep. I designed some cover art, gave the story an edit (because I’m never truly happy with anything...) and a friend converted the result into the .mobi format, which I think ought to be suitable for most people with an e-reader.

Dear Nay1

Your Women's Venom Universe over on Fictionmania fascinates me!

Stumbled upon this article about authors on Goodreads getting extortion threats or else their books get review-bombed: Time Article

Good grief. Literally. :(

So I have set up a Patreon account so if you go to https://www.patreon.com/creator-home and search for creator 'Maddy Bell' you should land on the page!

I was thinking about Janegirl Camp being split into 3 age groups, and each group would attend camp at different times. The first group would be ages 7-9, the second group would be 10-12 (Zee's age group), and the third age group would be ages 13-15. I was also thinking of giving each group a different name, but I'm not sure if I like the names or not yet. The first group would be called Caterpillar, the second group would be called Chrysalis, and the third group would be called Butterfly.

with Kindle sales - or is it just me?

Don't understand what happened. The story was there when I signed off. Then it was gone this AM. Almost all of the stuff I entered was missing. Go figure. It was fixed when I last looked. I'll check again.

okay so I finally, finally, finally took all the clothes that don't fit me to goodwill,

This has been hanging over my head for months, so to get it off my "to do" list feels like a super-human accomplishment.

I've been working on the next chapter of Jangirl Camp, and seem to be running into an issue I don't think I've ever run into before. Zee seems to be feeling separation anxiety when his dad is saying goodbye to him at camp, and I'm really feeling guilty about separating them. I know it's something that needs to happen for the story to continue, but the actual scene is feeling a lot more difficult to write than I'd expected.

Does anyone have suggestions on how to write a scene where a parent and somewhat clingy child are separated with the least amount of trauma?

So apparently Sharon has been portraying me in glowing terms to her family.

The funny thing is she told me they are mostly suspicious of guys, but her descriptions of me have caused them to approve of me sight unseen.

good news, I think

I'm getting a 503 message, so I don't know if it's having some maintenance or just gone phut.

Sunday 8 August -- new series begins on BBC FOUR tonight at 21:05 BST (20:05 utc)

should be available on BBC iplayer after to those who are (or seem to be) in UK,
I'm not sure as I do not use it. Broadcasters blurb:

Wounded, Kissy has some decisions to make.

Sometimes it is fun to change my name just because I can
and sometimes scrolling down to the Js on author list seems such a faff.

RIP Just.lovewriting

Ann Other