I wanted to comment on my story, "Moments of Madness", and offer some support to people who might feel similar, even if different, to how I felt at that time.

I am reposting the story mainly because I needed to fix it up and get it out there again. This is mostly because it is to help me and my feelings I have now, but maybe someone who reads it might feel a connection, and it might help them, perhaps.

When I first wrote this story, it wasn't long after everything happened. I penned it rushed without really thinking about the style of delivering my account. Through the support of Dana Short (whom I miss so much!), I had a lot of help clearing it up enough that I posted it.

This time though, I am editing it while rereading it. I am taking time to think about what I am saying and how I remember feeling. Since this story, a lot of water has gone under the bridge. There has been a lot of soul-searching and understanding of who I am. More importantly, I learnt that while I want other people's acceptance, the biggest is mine. Something I am still working on, even now.

When reading the story, I realised that much of what I did makes no sense to my present brain. I remember how I felt at the time, and those emotions and memories came back as I was editing. However, it feels minor to me now how it got so out of control and sparked such a strong reaction.

And yet, in all the things I have learnt about Anxiety and Depression, what might look like the stupidest reason for an attack could be the straw that breaks the camel's back.

I suppose what I wanted to say is if you are reading the story and thinking, "What a stupid fool! Daniel was a tosser, and you shouldn't have got upset like you did" I strongly agree with you. My eyes now see that this made no sense, but at the time, it was one of the darkest days of my life.

Depression and anxiety hit everyone differently. How one person deals with things depends on far more than logic or clear thinking. All reason goes out of the door, and instead, the only thing you can think about is the raw emotional responses and how everything is going out of control.

If anyone is suffering from depression and/or anxiety, please look to your local support networks to get help. It isn't weakness searching for help; instead, it is a strength that you are trying to better yourself and your situation.

No matter what anyone tells you: you do not have to have Disphiora and feel like everything is pointless. You do not need to be Transgender and think that the emptiness of your life will consume you. There are always other ways to look at things and ways to get the guidance and support you need to move forward, even if it feels impossible to do so.

Lastly, some of the things I didn't include in this story is how other Transsexuals at the time were one of the primary reasons for my self-doubt and feeling of being a failure. If you are a Transgender or Transsexual person, do not judge others by your voyage to get to where you are. Instead, embrace that everyone is different; everyone has different journeys and different ideas of identity. Do not dismiss someone because they don't match your version of "being"; instead, welcome that everyone has their way of being themselves.