Our life experiences give us all sorts of story ideas. It is just amazing.

Tonight I watched, "The Help", and I have no doubts in my mind that if the story is not literally true, it is in substance. Oddly, it took me back to my time with my family, and as I watched it, I realized that I had about the same status in my home as one of "them coloreds", and when they could no longer use me, I was fired. It was a dark, bleak realization but now I feel empowered.

Through the years, I have talked to other T folk who related the same sort of thing to me, it is not an uncommon experience

Well, something good came out of the comment my mom made at breakfast. I got a very supportive comment from my brother when I posted about it on face book, and here it is:

"To become something new the old must pass away. This is not really a bad thing. Those of us who love you, loved you as who you were, as who you are, and as who you will be. From your point of view "The Todd is dead, long live the Dot"."

My mom said that today at breakfast. Made me cry. I wish I could help her, but I dont know how....

I HATE it that, when I click on the "Great Story" button, to make room for "Thank you for the kudo" (or whatever it says), everything below drops a line. So, when I try to click on "++Bookmark", I end up clicking on something else.

It seems to me that there is plenty of blank space to the right of the GS button so why does the 'kudo' acknowledgement have to go UNDER it in space that has to be created forcing the blue links out of position?

I am mulling a short story idea over and over in my mind. It would involve a young M2F trans girl and her estranged father (mother is no longer in the picture - not sure why yet). In the story, she (the trans girl) desperately wants him to attend her 'life wedding' but he is 'hung up' on her being a trans person...he can't get past the thought of her once being his son. Continued...

Having noticed (and envied) the success of Daughter to Demons, the US SyFy network (available through many cable providers) has brought out a SF/F series named Lost Girl whose protagonist is a Succubus. Copycats...

http://www.syfy.com/lostgirl

Levanah

לבנה

There have been some horrible crimes in Arkansas over the last few days. Domestic violence seems to be exploding and culminated in several murders and suicides, and suicide by police. This is a crime of another nature and the person who committed it is just as sick as any other murderer.

I'm going to be taking a small break from writing her story after this last chapter to start working on another project for the Dark Realms Universe. Chapter 5 in (Un)Life is almost finished and I should have that posted in the next day or two. I say all of this because it will be a while before I actually post anything for this new project of mine, as I'd like to try and finish the story, or get close to finishing at least, before I actually post any of it. (Un)Life has alot of story left in it, and I will be getting back to it once the new one is out of the way.

I've kinda reached a place where I'm being forced to choose between moving forward and risking what I've already accomplished. See, the next steps are kinda tricky - I have to somehow navigate the ex, change my name, and then I'll be as close as I think I can come as surgery is not likely. But the risks are high too, I flop it with the ex and I worry I'll be tempted to just go back into the closet until I die. I think that's why I've been delaying putting my name change in high gear, much less confront the ex. But standing still isnt much of a option, at least not for long. Ah, well.

Today I visited the "officially sanctioned vampires".

I had an appointment with the endocrinologist to find out if there are any medical influences to my transsexuality.
They took only about eight or nine vials of blood to analyze my current hormone status and look for potential chromosomal irregularities.

Now I have to wait a few days for some numbers ;)

Realistically I expect unremarkable values inside the normal range, but surprises are possible.

After that I will start to think about the next steps. (or rather plan the next steps I'm thinking about for years...)

The Family Girl Blogs (aka "The New Working Girl Blogs")   Blog #26: Moe's Back! To see all of Bobbie's Family Girl Blogs, click on this link: http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/28818/family-girl-blogs

MoeMoe is Back!

I know there are some sports fans and golf fans out there. If you are relatively new to this site, you might want to read Bobbie and the Glass Ceiling. The story belongs to the Cynthia Chronicles series and has many of the characters that were recently featured in Charli and the Girl Cave. The story takes place in a famous golf venue. In spite of what many may think, golf is not a good walk ruined.

I can't believe that I can't get my butt in gear to write anymore...

I hate to do this, but I think I will post what I have, then post scenes as I get them in my head. I think it would likely make people happier than me not posting anything for such long periods of time.

Stand by for short posts Chapter 28.1, ETA... a few minutes from now.

Towards the end of the movie “The Graduate”, Benjamin (played by Dustin Hoffman) frantically rushes to save Elaine (Katherine Ross) from marrying. He drives to San Francisco and across the San Francisco-Oakland Bay Bridge to Berkeley, where the wedding ceremony is taking place. Simon & Garfunkel merrily sing in the background as there’s a spectacular shot of Benjamin’s car driving in the sunlight over the bridge crossing the sparkling waters of San Francisco Bay–

Except you can’t do that ...

I noticed the hit count for visitors is over 19,793,000. Wasn't just yesterday that we (I think I'm allowed to say 'we') hit 10,000,000. What a great job done by Erin and the others who know how to make this refuge so nice.

Portia

I have a feeling that yesterday's sense of being fragile was in fact a bit of a mood swing caused by my hormones. I guess I've still got a bit to learn on womanhood, giggle.

I'm quite sorry, but I am feeling a bit off, but please no cause for alarm. I promise not to do anything I shouldn't OK? I just need to emote a little here. If I do not feel better by Monday, I will seek to get back under care again.

I got a laugh out of the error message I just got reloading the BCTS front page:

I don't have an ex-muse either.

The black dog -- a *huge* Black Dog -- that took up residence a few years ago is shrinking a bit. The critter's not gone, but things are less overwhelming.

My writing time is limited, for now. I'm working ~12 hour days at a job involving flight safety ( a.k.a. BAD THINGS can happen if it isn't right.)

The Family Girl Blogs (aka "The New Working Girl Blogs") Blog #25: Anticipation To see all of Bobbie's Family Girl Blogs, click on this link: http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/28818/family-girl-blogs

My partner's done with her interviews in Manila, and she passed three of her four interviews.   So I guess we are pushing through with it.   She visited her family, and is having a wonderful time.   Turns put that she didn't need to check in at the hotel she had reserved a room in.   But the biggest, most important thing, is that she's coming home tomorrow.   Yayyyy!   I'm excited!

http://www.foxbusiness.com/technology/2012/01/20/anonymous-r...
http://usdoj.s3-website-us-east-1.amazonaws.com/
The internet may be doomed.

Seeing Myself...

This isn't a new novel, it was published in 2004, but I enjoyed it so much I felt a need to share my enjoyment.

It's written by Julie Anne Peters and is written for teenagers, she specialises in that age group and she is a gay woman rather than tg.

I just had a weeks holiday in sunny Spain ,average temp 20o,luverly jubbly as England is 10o.I took my kindle ready loaded with two Tanya Allans and one Susanne Brown,and when we were not sightseeing or marketing I had a thoroughly good read and lost myself in London and Penmarris.Many thanks to the two authors for some good reading.

Hi

what wither everything that is happening in my life at this moment, it is with great pleasure that I can announce that i am now in print..the real, paper stuff!

I have eight (so far) titles available. Find them here: feedaread.com

More soon, until I have all twenty five titles available. Then I can start the next round of new stuff!

Tanya

A few weeks back I went to look over a site named Vicki Irene's. I'm sure many of you have checked it over. She had posted that she never asked for help paying for the site, but stated she was open to any donations someone wanted to give. The site name expired and she apparently never re-newed it. It has been gone for many weeks now. We lost the old geocities sites....many are on reo-cities I guess. Haven't checked yet. Today I went to open Sapphire's site, and the name has expired there also.

I thought my piece "last entry" was dark, but the piece I just posted is worse, and to make it harder, its autobiographical. My apologies.

I was reading my AARP newspaper (organization for retired people)and found a article about the opening of a LGBT center in NYC that will help with the following, Caregiving-Financial Planning-Employment Assistance-accessing Healthcare and for those that have HIV. The center will serve about 300 people, now if other cities would do the same thing what a beautiful world it would be.

I am nearly done with the next bit of writing. I am about halfway done with a new Journey chapter, getting close to finished with Tea with a Serpent and am doing a good bit of editing. I am kind of sad that no other stories are firing at the moment, but that is okay. I'll get to them. I am looking forward to ending 300 Rains and a few other stories.

Well, my last piece took a great deal out of me. I'm not even sure where all this darkness came from ...

A bit of an update on me. I am working 2 jobs now -- both part time.

One of them is a blah-boring-market research firm. Would you like to take a survey?

The other... is the now-famous for its slogan, "Eat Fresh!" and the spokesman that is half the man he used to be, Jared... Subway!

Dear Friends:

Today I have been a member of Big Closet Top Shelf for exactley 3 Years and 1 day.

I want to thank Erin and her staff and everyone else who helps out for their time, hard work and sacrifice which makes this place possible.

Erin, if any of my blogs or comments have caused you heartache or grief, which I am sure some have, I appologize. I will also appologize in advance for the ones I am sure to post during the next year. I will try harder, but sometimes it just does not work
;-).

Man! Its COOOOLD! Minus 35 degrees Celsius. Gonna stay that way for a couple days too. BRRR....

Well, I was going to work last night from the trans group Christmas dinner when a massive snow storm hit. I thought I was doing pretty well when disaster hit - the car in front of me span out of control, ending up sideways across two lanes of traffic. At this point I felt like I had three options: I could aim for the concrete barrier to the right of me, the raised island to the left of me, or I could just hit the breaks and hope. I touched the breaks, knew I was going to slide, and so aimed for the island.

Steps of Faith

email I received:

Long Island LGBTQA Community Members,

Let’s keep the movement towards equality in New York State moving forward. I agree that GENDA should be the next unifying social priority in New York State. Please join us with Joanna Solmonsohn, the Long Island Program Organizer at the Empire State Pride Agenda. Joanna leads the Pride Agenda’s community campaign for LGBT equality and justice on Long Island.

Sen. Flanagan has announced 3 Town Hall meetings.

I mean, I'm not complaining because I have several stories that just sort of remain unfinished, and I think people like that are bloody awful. So, I resolve not to do that any more.

Anyhow, I was wondering what happened to Ice Tiger and the story called Anari something...can't exactly remember who the authors are, so I just can't bug them directily. There is another one about people being on a slave ship and escaping...

http://www.gocomics.com/closetohome/2012/01/14/

I guess this could be a good reason.

Two of them, actually. The first one is fairly recent. Guy turns into a girl, and because mom made him play dolls with his little sister, (s)he has an addiction to pink.

Second one is much older. Guy tells best friend he is going to a different college than the two of them had planned, and the friend gets all upset and feels betrayed. Second part is from an outside viewpoint, and it seems everybody else thinks he is actually a girl. One calls his pack a "hobo bag" which is a style of purse. Oh, first guy is a transfer student, small build, long hair, kinda fem-looking face.

Karen

I am about to re-release God Bless the Child as a real live book and i thought we could have a little fun while waiting for the new cover artwork to be done (by a real artist).

Here is the contest.

Write the synopsis for the back cover.

That's fairly simple I think. You can post it here or send it to me in a PM.

Prize:

$25 (U.S.) and an autograph copy of the book (yes i am vain, the song is about me).

Hopefully this also drums up some interest for what I think is a wonderful story with TG elements.

Now that singer Katy Perry is single, here are three reasons why she should date me:

1: Unlike her ex, I would have NO problem with the fact she's more famous than I am.

2: Her parents are trying to set her up with Tim Tebow. Well, unlike him, I'm not given to dropping to my knees in prayer in public. I'm a Christian, but I think that might get annoying for anyone around him after a while...

3: Since I'm trans, we could make her song "I kissed a girl" come to life, and what could be cooler than that?

So come on, Katy. Date me!