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Writing Walker's Path Chapter 11

Hello out there,

I wanted to let you all know that the next Writing Walker's Path is out on my website!

Writing Walker's Path is something I started doing after the release of the story. The blog posts talk all about my thought process and sometimes hints at what is going to happen in the future. There are other "Writing Walker's Path" episodes for other chapters on there as well so make sure to read them all!

You can read Chapter 11's here.

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giving an author a push

I'd like to take a moment and give a fellow author here a bit of a push.

I've been reading RobertaME's autobiographical work, "For God so loved the world", and while a lot of it is painful, it is ultimately a story of faith and survival.

If you're so inclined, she'd love feedback on the piece, which is found here:

https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/90781/god-so-loved-world

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got a body blow today

got a body blow today.

Carol told me Mike had a meltdown on the weekend. He got very angry at an employee at the wildlife park over nothing

this is very much unlike him, but something she was warned about as his disease progresses

he went for a test today, the results will tell us if it is getting worse for sure, but he's already told Carol that if he ever gets violent she has his permission to put him into long term care

the worst thing of getting the news about Mike today was it was Sam's grad today, and I hate that I couldn't be happier for her

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Not a Fashion Expert

Ladies, it is a fact women judge women by their attire and their presentation. I can't be the only one who has studied girls and women all my life. What makes one outstanding and her friend or those around her part of the background? Sometimes it's one thing, she's wearing clothes and a color bringing out her best features. Her hair style accents her face. And so it is one or many things makes a beautiful female plain or less than and a plain female exceptionally attractive.

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Planning on finding a therapist

It's been a few years since I've seen a therapist. I'd stopped, because it was starting to bring up stuff I felt like I couldn't handle. I still ain't sure if I can handle it, but stuff seems to be bubbling up, and trying to ignore it doesn't seem to be helping any more. So, I've decided to try contacting my healthcare provider today.

I'm really, really nervous about looking for a therapist to help me with stuff. I'm tired of hiding from my past, but I'm also scared of facing it. Anybody got any suggestions on how to do this with the least amount of issues?

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Surprise!

Hello out there,

Tomorrow there is going to be a surprise for you! How about Chapter 11 of Walker's Path?

Sorry for the Hiatus but I needed to work on myself for a little while.

The new Chapter is going to be around 2k words long which is around 1k shorter than I normally write but when the chapter ends it ends.

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Suicide, self castration - Pain caused by having extra bits

I wrote this after responding to a self castration story, and a suicide storie.

This deals with those of us that are born with a small extra amount of flesh between our legs, that stamps us as male, and set us on a fixed course in life.

I often wonder. If men and women were treated the same, dressed the same, played the same roles in society. Would those that hate their bodies feel the need to end it, or remove the offending parts?

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Unkind reviews

I was on Fictionmania a few days back. I read a story where teenage boys were fed hormones by their mothers after fighting at school.
It was fairly normal stuff, it wasn't particularly badly written. It was by an author called Metmanmornge.

There were a few nasty reviews. One said it was so bad it should be deleted. Another said it made no sense as the boys would beat their mother to death before this happened etc. It was pointed out that the site was called Fictionmania, and the story was fiction. I suggested if people didn't like it, they should just stop reading.

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In The Year 2221?

Just re-read the story by Daphne about a 12 1/2 year old boy that self castrated himself. I was planning to do the same in 2004 but found a Urologist to do it for $1000 cash. It's a good thing I did because here, where I live self castration will get you a long stay in the State Insane Asylum. I've always had a quiet, seething, hatred for authority for good reason.

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Belonging To Something

I don't know how other people adapt to today's reality, but for me, belonging to something or someone makes things easier. Over the years, since my Divorce and being abandoned I've tried a number of things, most of which seemed to work for a while. Some have been frustrated with me because of my penchant for getting involved in belief systems, and generally a Trans person can not satisfy them, or I could not. Both Christianity and Islam did not work out, though it seems that a branch of Judaism does.

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What a wonderful (hear the sarcasm?) Day!

So I finished the blog entry on my Dad and his heart this morning, and I leaned back in my office chair. I guess I must have, somehow, entered unknowingly into a wager saying the day couldn't be worse. Thus, my office chair decided it no longer liked me, so it leaned all the way back, depositing me in a rather undignified manner onto the floor behind it.

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Screendoor on a submarine

I was just finishing my games of scrabble with my parents and sister at around 3:30 this morning, when I saw a notification come through my phone saying my mom was in the ER with my dad because he had chest pain. I talked to Mom for a bit, then spent the rest of the night sleepless. Finally got to a very fitful sleep about 6:30 AM.

The hospital says it's something serious with his heart, but not a heart attack.

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Bardsey Island

I set a fictional semi-monastic retreat in this place, where my character Ambrose lived and cared for Angharad, Elaine's mother-in-law in 'Sisters'.

I then read a series of comic fantasies by Heide Goody and Iain Grant, where a monastery was set on the same island, with a monk called Ambrose... spooky

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-58180169

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Trying the .mobi format

book cover
My most popular story on here (assessed by likes) is ‘If You’re Done’. You can read it right here on BigCloset, but I thought that perhaps some folks would like it have it in a format that they can download and keep. I designed some cover art, gave the story an edit (because I’m never truly happy with anything...) and a friend converted the result into the .mobi format, which I think ought to be suitable for most people with an e-reader.

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one crappy day

So today was a crappy day.

It started with me having a dream where I took pleasure in being cruel to someone, which has got me thinking I'm too dangerous and should commit myself.

then I went to the doctor, and got the results from the CT scan of my head, which showed nothing wrong. That would be good news, except it leaves why I'm having word drop and stuttering and memory issues a mystery.

Then mom and I picked up Sam at work and took her home, and Sharon asked for a ride to the post office.

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Janegirl Camp age groups

I was thinking about Janegirl Camp being split into 3 age groups, and each group would attend camp at different times. The first group would be ages 7-9, the second group would be 10-12 (Zee's age group), and the third age group would be ages 13-15. I was also thinking of giving each group a different name, but I'm not sure if I like the names or not yet. The first group would be called Caterpillar, the second group would be called Chrysalis, and the third group would be called Butterfly.

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Female run dystopia's

I love reading stories about female run worlds. There are several I am reading at the moment. Some it is just men being treated as 2nd class citizens, sort of payback in way.

Some where all the women seem to be dominatrix's. They beat and punish their men , or dress them as women to humiliate them.
Some on BDSM sites where guys are all castrated, not my cup of tea.

A great example of this is the worm that turned by the two Ronnies , this was a series on their show.

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My Memory Used to be so Perfect, too...

I used to have total recall. I'm serious! In a way, I still do, but I don't anymore.

"What the Hell is she talking about?"

Up until the age of 35, I can still to this day recall every day of my life starting from age 3. I can tell you what I had for breakfast on January 16th, 1978. (I had oatmeal and a piece of toast before trudging through the snow with my sister for her to catch bus 35 to go to 1st grade... that evening we had steak for dinner because it was my father's 30th birthday)

"Ok... so what?"

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Non-binary grave discovered in Finland from c 1000 AD.

A link to a Guardian story about someone they suspect was Klinefelters who was buried with grave goods of male and female, demonstrating they were respected by the community. My own thoughts as I read it were that the individual may well have been a shaman.

See link: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2021/aug/09/1000-year-old-...

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Separation Anxiety?

I've been working on the next chapter of Jangirl Camp, and seem to be running into an issue I don't think I've ever run into before. Zee seems to be feeling separation anxiety when his dad is saying goodbye to him at camp, and I'm really feeling guilty about separating them. I know it's something that needs to happen for the story to continue, but the actual scene is feeling a lot more difficult to write than I'd expected.

Does anyone have suggestions on how to write a scene where a parent and somewhat clingy child are separated with the least amount of trauma?

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The PAIN!!!

No one to blame here. Just sitting here reading and was suddenly overwhelmed by a wave of grief. No Drama or talk of ending it. Just wanted to say how much it hurts.

Had a wife of 38 years that got to drinking. Blame myself for not putting an end to that and getting her help. Two of my Children blame me for it all. One is supportive and loving.

I miss that woman powerfully and it hurts so much. I could never be man enough for her and as it developed, I wasn't a man at all. Just wish it could have been different though. Maybe the hurt will be gone in the morning?

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Another Olympiad over

and to be honest, I've not really been following the coverage but I do know that Team GB claimed the cycling crown with 6 golds out of the 22 on offer, 1 ahead of the Netherlands, the only other nation to win more than 1 event. Overall our tiny islands came in fourth behind the behemoths of the US and China with host nation Japan getting home advantage for third although with a smaller total medal count, the UK's 22 golds more than twice that of any other European nation. But as they say, Its not the winning but the taking part that counts - but winning is nice!

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T folk Dangerous?

It is clear to me that exercise and healthy foods help just lots. As most people in this circle know, life for T folk, especially post op ones can really be heartbreaking. Not that long ago, I was talking with my counsellor about riding my bike for a number of things, especially to get groceries. I mentioned a certain market in a popular location and she suddenly seemed very tense. I asked her what was wrong and she denied any issue. She to has an electric bike and passed me one day, though at the time I did not know it was her.

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Diet Imperative!!

Found a couple of nice dresses at Target online. Got my new sundress last week, and a skater dress arrived today.

They fit, look okay, but they'd definitely look a lot nicer if I could shed 15 to 20 pounds. (I'm 5'10" and 196, give or take a few.) Right now, I'm not exactly a quarter-tonner, but I could definitely use a waistline that doesn't look 8 months pregnant.

While I'll likely still be too reserved/shy/terrified/ashamed to wear them anywhere, I'd at least like the idea that I could.

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"Please Turn Over"

If you want a laugh (and who does not need one at the moment) then it is worth having a look at an old British Comedy film called "Please Turn Over". It dates from 1959/1960 but is a good yarn. The title refers to the pages of a book that takes a town by storm.

If you can find it then give it a watch. I found it on the Talking Pictures TV channel on FreeSat (UK).

Samantha

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need an excuse?

There is an apparent shortage of men's underwear. I have been waiting for the back to school sales to pick up a few basics. One store recently had a twenty-five percent off sale on underwear for the family. I could not find any men's briefs in any size but extra large. Not to worry, I had to got to Wal-Mart this week and they usually have back to school sales. I couldn't find a single pair of plain men's briefs. Just across the aisle though was a big display of ten packs of women's panties. There's your excuse; just go with it.

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Vale Karen Lockhart

It is with great sadness that I have to report the death of Karen Lockhart, the pen name under which Kevin Solime posted stories here on Bigcloset. I had the pleasure and privilege of helping him out with proofing his stories. Kevin had not been at all well in the last couple of years but amazingly he kept reviving when his cousin Sue and I were sure he could not come back. We always said he had 99 lives, but alas eventually they ran out. It is a consolation to know that he is now at peace. I recommend his entertaining stories to all readers here at Bigcloset.

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That moment when...

the universe makes it abundantly clear that it has it in for you. I had that moment last night. After a fantastically shitty day where everything bad that could happen did happen my word processor decided to crash mid-writing session. Then, at the very second that I screamed to the heavens, "Why can't anything ever go right for me!" that is when the universe delivered the coup de grace by having winblows give me the blue screen of death and shut down, oh and then I broke a nail.

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Confused, intrigued & irritated

OK, so for a very long time, I am finally giving in but need help. I keep seeing story after story after story listed 'whatley academy' related. Honestly, I have never read it, I am having difficulty locating the 'original' version that started this 'universe'. I keep bypassing most stories i see labelled it, because I am without any idea to what is what about it. Would someone, please be ever so kind enough to lead me to this apparant 'best seller' of sorts?

Pretty please... with sugar on top <3

It is about time, I give in & give it a go, eh?

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Thank you for all your help with Vacation

I really enjoyed coming back and visiting all the intelligent, tasteful readers here at BigCloset. The last book I finished up, Taylor, was donated to this site so the proceeds could help out keeping it afloat.

Testing out a story idea like Vacation proved rewarding for me, getting lots of great ideas for maybe retooling it into a novel. I liked my characters and they started talking to me..

But, the curious thing was how many people wanted me turn Portrait into a book.

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It's been a while

I absolutely hate writing in fitful starts and stops. At worst it means that my reader has to keep going back to re-read previous chapters to remember what was going on. Unfortunately, as we all know, many if not most of us do not have the leisure of being able to write all day every day - or even every week.

I apologise for the delay. In Real Life, stuff happens.

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Writing Progress

I am (slowly) approaching 29k words on _The Angel of Earth_, out of an estimated 50k to 55k. I have made (tiny) progress on the next Masks and Freddy on the Loose stories.

Part of the problem is having to do Summer yard work. Part of it is cats (there's one being chased by a bluejay this morning). Part of it is distractions from other sources.

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English is a Mess

It seems all of us have an opinion on words and spelling errors we spot in the stories we read. I have a few of those such as "your" (possessive) used in place of "you're" (contraction of you are) and visa versa.
He drove to (modifier) the park. He wanted to go too (also) soft adjective)

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The Loss of Sexual Response.

For the delicate, read no further.

I've noticed the complete loss of any sort of physical sexual response when manually stimulating. It seems possible that is due to the increased development of scar tissue around the nerves capable of responding to such ministrations and not due to age. My Brain refuses to acknowledge the fact but there is some hope that reality will set in before too long.

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Janegirl Camp Activity Ideas

I've been thinking about trying to expand on my Janegirl Camp story. I sorta felt one thing that might move the plot along would be having Zee and the other campers getting involved in different activities. I've come up with a few ideas, but I've been struggling to come up with any really interesting ones, so I thought I'd try asking others for suggestions.

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Need Help

So, I hate doing this, but I just found out today I have to move inside of a month. Things are super tight already and if i don't raise enough funds by then, I will be forced to move back in with my parents. Which is NOT a mentally or emotionally healthy situation for me.

Please, please, please consider donating,

Please click here if you can help.

I also have paypal or venmo if you want to DM me.

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Last days in July and Hatbox is short of goal

Cash contributions from our members keep BigCloset operating. But we're very short for July, two days left and barely 60% of our contribution target received. It's always tight.

If you can help, it will be appreciated. And please, be safe.

Hugs,
Erin, Piper, Jamie, Cat and the rest of the crew

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TG And Sports

In all the hoo-hah about transgender individuals playing sports in their chosen gender the focus has only been on male-to-female. Nobody has ever mentioned female-to-male. There is evidently no perception of a problem if a born female athlete (for instance) plays American football or runs in male races.

Here is a very brief list of sports where size and strength make no difference. Please feel free to add any sport you like to this very brief list. Or challenge this list.

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The Beast of the Number or Vingt Mille Kudos Sous les Mers

Perhaps I’m not really the Beast of the Number but I do like to play with numbers. Hard to avoid that, burdened as I am by heritage and education. In the mix you have accounting, engineering, statistics-based “sooth-saying”, business administration. Oh, forget about that last, those people can’t count. I mean how hard is the equation of a straight line?

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Interesting article about remembering consequences of biological sex.

The following link is to an article about someone's brother who was a transman and who died of ovarian cancer. The fact that the person interviewed is the deputy speaker of the House of Lords, shows that both transsexualism and tragedy know no social boundaries and a poignant reminder that even after SRS we often have reminders of our original biological sex which can cause problems and even kill as well as therapies for the new gender may increase some risks. Includes a piece by an oncologist who specialises in transgender patients.

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AAAARRRGGGHHH Gremlins!!!!

well shuzzle it

gremlins have struck, darned chapter corrupted due to a power malfunction. SSD's definitely don't like keeping backups.

That means I will have to rewrite todays chapter of reaffirmation and post it late.

Hopefully by tomorrow or saturday I am going to try and recover the corrupted copy first

wish me luck

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writing update: Portal problems

For anybody interested in seeing more of Portal Problems, I'm afraid I'm shelving it for now. After publishing the first chapter and seeing the responses, I took a look at the next few chapters, and realized the characters lacked . . . character. They do stuff, but the reader would learn nothing about them.

So unless I can fix that, the rest of the story will not be published.

Sorry for any inconvenience.

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Kindle Vella is an insult to readers, and a mistake for BCTS

MIcrotransactions of the very worst kind, with no more guarantee the novel will get completed, than on a free site.

Worse it's an awful attempt from Amazon to replace the free sites like BCTS, with P2R> (Pay To Read Next Chapter) content.
Just Like Kindle Unlimited was an attempt to replace Public Libraries lending Digital copies of Books they have bought, with a subscription service.

No surprise this is restricted to USA on launch, as that country is far more likely to accept P2R> content than the rest of the world.

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I apologize

Honestly, I messed up.

I uploaded Chapter Four and the more I looked at it realized that it was not finished. So, I took some time today to upload more to make it better

I'm sorry for the people that read it this morning and missed the second half.

Oh, well.

I could have added a "Chapter Five" but it just seemed more important to finish Chapter Four.

I'll get it all smoothed out eventually.

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Working on the next chapter of Ian & Brice/Bryce

For those who've been following my story, Ian & Brice/Bryce, I'm still working on the next chapter, but things are going a bit slowly. a big part of that is because I can feel how Ian will want to be held, as well as how afraid he is of doing anything like that would trigger another flashback.

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A month apart

Hello out there,

It's been a month or so since I last updated Walker's Path.

For the last three or so months I was putting out two chapters a month. I didn't mind writing on that schedule but the last chapter was nearly twenty pages long and took a lot out of me.

I've been playing a lot of view games lately. Mainly Red Dead Redemption 2 and Overwatch. I also got into New World which I'm enjoying.

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Draft completed!

Welp, after taking far too long due to dealing with the pandemic, and also with two job changes (promotions of sorts!) at work, the draft for Book 4 'Light and Shadow' was finally completed right on time for dinner today! Sitting at over 135k words and split into seven parts, it now shall enter the 'Editing Zone' and hopefully the first part can get posted sometime soon, for which I'm rather excited.

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Femme Fatale - a mask fiction noir story on kindle

Femme Fatale Cover

A young man’s dreams of acting in tinseltown are shattered with the apparent suicide of his best friend and lover. Since no-one will take the case, he starts his own investigation, getting deeper and deeper in the murky world of Hollywood glamour, sex, blackmail and female impersonation.

Femme Fatale
by Miss Circe
Buy on Kindle

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