So lately I've been finding a lot of transgender YouTubers getting recommended to me (more and more the more of them I actually check out, though that's unsurprising.)

I'm a bad writer.

See, instead of writing stories, I've been making D&D characters.

sorry.

Hello again, Closeteers!

As I announced in yesterday's blog, the new fan-fiction chapters of A Mother's Love will be starting up soon (tonight or tomorrow). These build upon the original story by Alys (and can be found by clicking on her name at the Author's page link up top). Since there is a significant backstory to the fan-fiction chapters, I recommend pre-reading these parts of Alys's story before starting the fan fiction:

A Mother's Love - Prequel
A Mother's Love - Volume 1 (11 parts)
A Mother's Love - Volume 3 (2 parts)

Please message us at Top Shelf to let us know if you are safe. The fire danger is SO high.

Catherine Linda Michel

Sorry for not getting The Arctic Fox Chapter 19 out at my normal time of Thursday night.

Last night, I had my grandson over, and he was getting into everything he possibly could. He's very cute, but likes to manipulate. Everytime I would get after him, he would hold out his arms and come to get a hug, which was not forthcoming.

Since taking care of him is a regular Thursday night thing to give my son and daughter-in-law some time off, I think I'd better plan on Tuesdays and Fridays for The Arctic Fox, rather than Monday and Thursday.

I wish I young enough to do this.

https://twentytwowords.com/married-dad-father-of-three-wears...

Another texting scam going around.

In a nutshell it is the 'you have been talking to one of my girls' and 'I belong to a strong gang' and you will get killed if you don't contact me and pay for the girls time.

I know it is a scam and definitely will not respond in any shape or form as once you do any such thing you are done for.

Intellectually I know it is a scam but it still triggers that wave of flight and fight response which I am processing.

In Summary: Don't respond to these kinds of random threats!

so here is my chronicle of my adventures in endoscopy:

after repeatedly telling the nurses and then the doctor about my PTSD and gag reflex, they gave me the normal amount of sedative and then had me clench this plastic tube between my teeth.

10 seconds later I'm gagging and they had to take it out and knock me all the way out to do the procedure.

Sighs, at least it's over ...

You know what's tough? Self care. Self care is super, super tough.

But when it goes right, it's a great thing.

I've been letting my self-care slide a lot the last few years. I've gotten somewhat better about it in the last year and a half, since I sort-of left the work force and started focusing on work-from-home pursuits, but I've still languished in the land of 'I'll get to it later' on some things for far too long.

One of those is my weight.

I am going for an endoscopy tomorrow, and I'm already struggling with anxiety.

Thanks to my PTSD, I have a gag reflex like nobody's business, and therefore the prospect of having a tube shoved down my throat doesn't exactly fill me with happiness.

hugs appreciated.

Or maybe I’m just being maudlin. More likely it’s just the bottom of my cycle and I’m being hormonal.

I find myself losing friends slowly, apparently destined to be the last one. Consigned to turn out the lights and lock the door on my way out.

Am I no better than the legendary albatross? Losing friends simply by making friends? Am I no better than a modern day red death? Killing people by the simple act of getting to know them?

While the more eagle-eyed among you may have noticed recent comments from me scattered across a handful of stories, it actually marks a 'soft' return from a prolonged absence (from here - those who frequent the BCTS group on the Book of Faces will probably have seen me quite frequently...) of about 3 1/2 years...

Couple months back I realized how much out of touch with current makeup fashions I had become when I began looking for a lipstick color to replace one I had used for years. There are a couple names for what I was searching for but obviously Frosted Peach, or Iced Peach is no longer a fashionable lipstick color. I tried multi variations of color combinations with no luck. I finally found what I wanted on one of those trips to OKC.

So I've been thinkin' about writing a lot lately, and a few recent stories have spurned a bit of an odd series of thoughts in my noggin'.

A lot of trans fic, whether intentionally or unintentionally, tends towards fantasy to some degree or science fiction. That's not to say ALL stories do, but even when it's very light -- whether it be the miraculous power of subliminals to change you utterly or a brand-new magic pill that does the same -- a lot of trans stories delight in utilizing fantastical gadgets or wonder drugs to do the dirty work.

My question, though, is this:

It's 4:00 A.M.

I just noticed that I have had no interaction with anyone listed under the column on the left called Who's Online.

In stark contrast, many of those listed on the right hand side under In Memoriam were people I had had a great deal of interaction with in comments or messages. I had edited stories for a number of them.

Is there a difference in perception between a blond haired female and a blond haired male?!?!? Why?!?!?

What is the male equivalent of a "valley girl"?!?!?

What is the male equivalent of a "slut"?!?!?

What is the female equivalent of a "gigolo"?!?!?

Blond is actually spelled with an ;E' on the end, isn't it?!?!?

II just read a book called "the conclave" by Robert Harris. It has a surprise ending that might be of interest to readers here. Warning! Do not read if you are a Catholic who thinks that there is anything but politics at work in the election of the pope.

Liz

Tommorow will be lost in time...

A Science Fiction transgender short story by Melanie E.

And its the finale of Summer Girl!

The girl found naked on the beach—Amethyst, if that is her name—needs a cold shower but gets a hot one. :)
 

Hey everyone, I thought I would do a quick announcement. Now I've hit page 8 of adrenaline jackey, I don't have much in the way of ideas for the future and yesterday wiped me the fuck out. So I'm gonna need some time before I figure out what I want to do with the story.

Don't worry, it won't end, I just need a little bit of time, maybe a week or two, to get my sense back in order along with writing my book and maybe starting something new :3

Thank you for reading, please have a happy happy day!!!!!

It's taken a couple of days, but I've combed through TG Techie and found every reference to a song or band. There is one exception, a reference to Guns 'n Roses, a band I have never sought out nor listened to. Nor could any argument be made to sway me.

But good news! I think there will be a little something in there for almost everyone to hate.

Shauna Rousseau's "The Loft" chapter 3 is being previewed on BC Patreon a few days early for Patrons. :)

Thanks, Shauna!

I'm feeling sort of tearful, perhaps without right? It's been years since I wanted a spanking. I thought that was over.

I was talking with my therapist and she asked me if I felt arousal when I got dressed in the morning? That brought me up short. I felt like I'd gotten poked with a stick.

Sorry, I know it's been a few weeks. I have the next week off and plan to spend some time writing. So, hopefully it won't happen again for a while.

The Fall of Kruhl Illusions By Daniela A. Wolfe At last, it comes time to confront Leoffa, but when Agent and Once-King move in for the attack not all is as it seems.

a very quickie indeed

I was re-reading one of my old stories, and couldn't help but giggle at this exchange in the comments:

"Boo hoo... You don't love me enough to kill me..."

"I had a special death planned for you but decided to be merciful to my readers, I'll kill you next time, promise."

"Aww, you're a good friend. *hug*"

My mom and I were talking about my bras, and in the process I realized how my breast growth has snuck up on me.

Which got me thinking about my transition in general - that success has snuck up on me, and I hardly noticed it.

Weird, huh?

Nora Ephron said “Writers are cannibals. They really are. They are predators, and if you are friends with them, and if you say anything funny at dinner, or if anything good happens to you, you are in big trouble.”

In a sense, we do devour everything we see and regurgitate it, as needed.

I’m more curious about a different kind of cannibalizing. In marketing, be use that term when introducing a new product or service.

Will the new product help us gain market share. . .or will it simply cut into our current sales?

I've been at BCTS for a long time and many of you have expressed kindness to me in that time. I'm so thankful to you all. I just wanted to make sure I had a chance to express that sentiment in case things went really sour.

I live in Portland, Oregon, right next to the ICE center. The demonstration tonight included yelling, explosions and tear gas that got in my 4th floor apartment through an open window. There was no warning. The demonstrators were attacking without warning. I almost went to the hospital but some medication stabilized me.

Peace to you all.

Gwen

To every one of you who have questioned yourselves, who haven't been able to make that big step...I know where you are...I've been there and I KNOW how difficult it is!

These words, from a TV show of all things, helped me...encouraged me...spoke to my struggle and the courage they spoke about. It became my private, personal theme.

I share them with you now. They may be familiar to anyone who is a Science Fiction fan.

Rod Stewart's words.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0azMOJ-h_o

If you are reading this blog it means you have an interest or curiosity of things that are LGBQT related. The Brini Maxwell Show is part of our history. Brini was a ground breaking performer that was way ahead of her/his time.

It took me 2 or 3 shows before I realized the high camp reality of what I was watching. Ben Sander plays Brini perfectly!

how magical, how perfect, how wonderful her voice is?? She acts so surprised when she finishes and all the judges are practically in tears at how beautifully she sang.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZT-rdjv8wgQ

I teared up at the first few notes and was crying before the first four bars of the song!!! By the time she finished I was crying my heart out and I didn't even understand the language in which she sang!

Okay so last night this bit of dialog came into my head:

Young man, looking in a mirror while wearing girl's clothes for the first time: "Is it weird that I'm super attracted to myself?"

Female friend:"You're not the only one. If I'd known how hot you'd look, I would have tried to talk you into skirts a long time ago"

And since I dont have a story to go with this dialog, I'm offering it up as a challenge to anyone who wants to make a story around it,

with a Rainbow!

I guess you are wondering what that scream was about. Or maybe why you haven't heard from me for a while.

I am really good about doing backups. Honest, I am. I realized at the beginning of this summer that I had to reinstall my various OSes in the computers in the humble abode lest the odd virus crash a computer that was needed by family for school or for work. Maintenance, Maintenance, Maintenance!

So early this morning, after firing up my smoker, rubbing down the beef brisket with one of my simpler home made rubs (Brown sugar, Paprika, Himalayan pink salt & chili powder) and tossing that in the smoker, I found myself getting hungry for breakfast.

Finding a small covered plate with the remains of a can of spam in the fridge I decided that would work for the meat part of breakfast. Rubbing the slices down with the BBQ rub I had made earlier I sat a pan out to heat up on the stove.

On BC, Kissy finds out the results of lots of tests, and the doctor has a question.

On Patreon, Kissy and Rory escape while Mom and Marjorie make nice.

Also on Patreon, Melanie E contributes a short story with "No Strings Attached".

A quick update on scribbling.

Firstly BCTS: Tammy's Interlude stories concluded last weekend. The next story 'Deja Flew', in conjunction with Snowfall, will start in a few weeks and will likely run (just) into the New Year. Then there will be a break.

The re-post of Unaccounted Gains Book 1 ('Accountancy Can Be Deadly') concludes shortly. Book 2 ('Spying by Numbers') will be re-posted after UG3 is published on Kindle.

I've finally got a new story up:

https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/87014/karaoke-night

It may not be true for long but as of just now, DopplerPress has 17 of the top 100 books on the Kindle LGBT YA bestseller list. :)

https://www.amazon.com/Best-Sellers-Kindle-Store-Teen-Young-...

This is NOT the most we've scored there, a month or so a go we had 18 but it didn't last long enough for me to get a blog up about it. :)

Go DP!

And thanks to the authors who have put us on that list!

I found a book series about a trans girl who becomes a superhero. you can check it out if you like: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/30279514-dreadnought

Last night charter internet's free anti viral program f-secure loaded something called security extension on my computer. It needs to be activated. Do I want to do that and why? As far as I can understand the little they say about it it is an electronic nanny but there is little plain English information available .

Edit: Nope, can all of that. Back in a few hours with an update

Babies? I love you very much

Recently, okay well maybe more like past few years, I have been studying history...of sorts.

I should explain a little. Having a background knowledge of how things are built, or more to the point, being able to take anything I see apart in my mind to its simplest form, allows me to see beauty in things others ignore.

I can work with wood or metal, fix most mechanical things, fix electronics, plumbing, household electrical, cement work, plaster etc etc. None of that is a challenge to me.

In the time that I've been gone, I got a new kettle. Absolutely nothing else has happened.

I'm reposting SNAFU which used to be on Sapphire's site but which has now become unavailable. I was asked to do so by several readers including our own Web Mistress. I have tidied up a number of typos and other mistakes, though Grammarly doesn't appear to recognise proper English (ie UK variety) in terms of spelling so it nearly drove me to distraction.