Hey guys,

I just wanted to post a quick update on what's going on with me, and my lack of presence lately. Things have just kind of snowballed on me with what happened to my dog (he's doing a LOT better, by the way. He's almost completely healed, and getting back to his old self), holiday drama, and about a hundred other things that I'd rather just put out of my mind for now.

On top of that, I've been sick this week, which has really drained me, but I'm sitting here with a big bowl of chicken noodle soup as I type this, and I'm starting to feel a bit better.

I've been struggling these last few days.

I've been doing quite a bit of reading, and got in my head that I wanted to work on my writing.

So I got out my laptop, and I installed word, and I downloaded the several most promising "works in progress" that fit the mood of what I was wanting to write, and nothing.

I seem to be stuck in a rut for several years now. I have MANY MANY great story ideas, and can usually come up with half of a first post for a serial, but that seems to be about it.

Sorry ladies, I have been SO busy with work, RL and in the past week, being sick, that I haven't been able to write anything. Once the Holidays are over, I hope to get back to posting more Rock,paper,scissors, and Healing a Princess. HaP 35 is nearly complete, but again, Lack of quality writting time ...

Everyone have a happy holiday season.

A.A.

Well, we have lost our insurance as of November 30th. No more hormones. Can't afford them. Now have to buy them off the web.

After being on them for 5 months, now I'll be off them and all the progress lost. SUX.

The following is Bigatry of a State Worker but, this could happen in any State or even with a Federal Worker! Richard

Calif. transgender woman says DMV worker sent letter calling her gender change 'evil'
12-09-2010 03:28 PM PST |By LISA LEFF, Associated Press SAN FRANCISCO (Associated Press)

A transgender woman says a California Department of Motor Vehicles clerk used a state database to find her address and then mailed her a personal letter condemning her sex change.

I have been asked or prodded to put up something to give an idea of who's who in the story, as it drags on and on, so I have composed a little list of main people. I have attempted to add it as a comment to the 'outline', but as a technophobe have probably done it incorrectly, so here is the list in an accessible place.

About 7:00 PM tonight, I started upgrading (?) my computer from Vista to Win 7. It is now almost 1:00 AM and I am asking myself just what in the hell I was thinking? They changed things that I liked just fine, now I gotta figure out how to do them now. I was so happy being able to fun two screens and now none of that works. Norton doesn't even look right any more.

Now I am even thinking of going out and buying a refurbished Apple. YUKKKK!!! I hate Apple computer company. Like I would rather swallow a fence post.

Just read an article by Tom Blackwell, (National Post  · Wednesday, Dec. 8, 2010) about new guidelines for dealing with transsexual military personnel. Good article, and the closing comment by Cpl. Murray is perfect. "There shouldn't be any issue at all. We're just regular people doing a regular job, the same job as everybody else."

Read more: http://www.nationalpost.com/todays-paper/Dress+rules+establi...

LOL

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bvvyqgK26EI&feature=channel

If you don't see me for a few days, it's because we will have sustained an interruption of internet service (bill past due). Mrs. D is having arthroscopic surgery on her left knee tomorrow and I still am falling down...I'll try to get to the library to keep you posted. Please pray if you will...Thanks! Andrea

Here's a link to a CNN story about a couple of studies of LGBT youths. As is to be expected the major focus is on gay students.

http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/12/06/lgbt.teens.punishment.p...

My emotions seem to follow an irregular cycle. Sometimes the ups aren't all that high, and the downs are pretty darn low. I had a moment around the beginning of this year, on the drive home from work, when the idea popped into my head that all I had to do was put my foot down on the gas and let the car drift over into the trees lining the road and I wouldn't have to feel that bad ever again. I had to fight to keep from doing it, too. Scared the #*!@ out of me, as you can imagine.

I went to an online chat (IMVU, if you care to know the name) and decided to visit a christian room and get some prayer support. Unfortunately, one of the people there noticed my avatar was wearing a TG symbol, and asked me about it. I tried to explain my history, how I felt. Her response was to tell me i needed deliverance from a demon. I told her how i had prayed about this since i became a christian, prayed, begged, cried. How i even tried to kill myself, and even asked God to kill me rather than let me offend Him. How i finally reached the point where i had to accept what I am.

Well, I was talking to one of my UK friends the other night and when we hung up, my computer froze. It took me several tries to restart it before I could get it running again, and along the way I figured out that either SKYPE or one of the messingers was causing the problem. In my trying to figure it out, I see that SKYPE downloaded a new version on 12/2, and after that is when the problem started.

I am hoping that this is a safe place to say this ?

In a few weeks, a dear friend of mine is coming from Saudi Arabia to attend College in Portland. He is a very good man, and we get along so well that if things were different, I would marry him with no hesitation. (We all know what differences they might be) He and I just have so much to talk about. There is a heart connection there that I can not explain.

Be warned this post contains spoilers.

I'm posting this now even though Best Served Cold is only about half way over.

I wanted to give people a good idea of what they can expect next from me. So after this story, I'm going to either move on to my Red Lantern Retcon on Laira or the side story to Best Served Cold, starring Mattie and Clara.

In the future I've got both the sequels to Green Arrow and Blue Beetle plus a Retcon on Black Panther. I've also got another Syndicate story I'm developing too.

EOF

Hi everyone. I am happy to say that I've begun doing some work on revising the Naruto story I've written. The original story started out with Naruto and I kept having problems because (as many fan fics do) I couldn't adequately explain who Naruto and Jiraiya were. It made some very big assumptions on the part of the reader that they were fanatical devotees to the Naruto manga or series. I've decided about a year ago to fix that so that anyone could pick up the story and read it without confusion...

Not just the Christmas season, but I've republished that insane Christmas tunes acronym quiz thingy from last year...

It's here

...but since 140 tunes would be a big stretch for anyone to complete on their own, I've made it world writable, so if you click on the link above, you can fill in the ones you can solve there and then... as well as seeing what others on BCTS have found.

When I first started this journal, the only real rule I set for myself was that I was going to be as honest as I possibly could, and I think i am succeeding.

Mostly, it really hasnt been much of a struggle, other than the difficulty of finding the best words.

I have talked about good times, bad times, and all the times in between, and most of the time, I have felt no hesitation.
Indeed, most of the time, i have been anxious to share.

But today, I find myself struggling to write this.

I want to just babble on about my writing, or whatever.

I have been reading the latest 'year's best SF' and quite enjoying it. I then look up stories here, see 'SF' or fantasy in the header, and switch off. One story, "The Island", intrigues me,and I will continue reading it, but those stories with miraculous devices/transformatons do not speak to me. Clearly, this is a personal thing, and I mean no criticism of others, but while I love SF I can only connect with TG stories that are close to real life. Perhaps this is personal identification, maybe I am inflexible, but I offer now my apologies to those who write that sort of story.

Fantastic news.

I learned tonight, 1726 British Daylight saving time UST +1 that the bitch who abused me as a child died a month ago of Pneumonia and kidney failure. My oldest sister was 76.

I've had some requests to consider using Mr. Gabriel in more stories, and I think it will happen. The funny thing is, I didn't know about his "surprise" until I wrote the end of the story. He was created after a very special friend who has now passed, and named after my new nephew, Gabriel. He was just a nice teacher, originally.
Just goes to show what happens when you write from things that happen in a dream and throw in some memories to fill it in.

I found these on YouTube last night and thought they weren't even half bad... "Beautiful Boxer", a true story of Nong Toom, a transsexual Thai kickboxer who fought as a means of survival and rose to fame, quite an amazing story. Part one is here, and if you're familiar with YouTube at all (is there anyone who isn't?) you know you'll find the other parts shown to the right of the screen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3TxdRlg3Llw&feature=related

"Just Like A Woman" is a fictional story of a crossdresser who loses his wife and family and other tribulations etc. Part one is here:

I used to have a search field on the home page, it no longer shows up in Firefox nor IE... haven't had any other problems displaying any pages... is the search function gone? thanks.

Dear Family, Friends, and Faithful Readers...

I didn't believe it.

I promised to get this story chapter out by the end of this week. Unfortunately, I been a little too busy with household matters. I've got a little over 12,000 words written but there are two major scenes I still have to complete.

Plus I need to fix up the story before turning it into Puddin. DHCF Part 29 will be ready soon, but now I'm estimating it will be more like Monday to Wednesday of next week before its published.

Well as of this morning, BCTS tells me I have been a member for 4 years and 52 weeks... Which I translate as meaning that today is my 5th anniversary of being a member here. My first story, "Two Roads" was posted on 12/4/2005, so perhaps that is the real anniversary date.

There used to be professors at University of Hawaii (Milton Diamond), and one at Umich, (Who seems to have been completely written out of the historical record?) who were studying Transgender Issues, and of course there was pioneering work done in the Netherlands in the early 90's, but lately I have not heard any new News. Of course there was the work done at a University in Australia that had done preliminary identification on a Transgender Gene, but in the last year, I have not heard anything new on that front.

Khadijah

I may have mentioned before, I am not a fun person to sleep with. Between night terrors, snoring, and the simple fact i dont sit still, even when i am dreaming. But last night was a topper. I remember having a dream of going downstairs, picking up a pile of presents, and returning to my room. Along the way i had turned off my alarm. Once the dream was over, i woke, and it had felt so real i actually got up to check if i had brought stuff up. I hadnt, but I had turned off my alarm, and there were signs i really had left my bed while asleep. It's a little frightening, to be honest. Ah, well.

http://www.wired.com/medtech/health/news/2006/11/72174

You draw your own conclusions. Discuss.

Well, today I was told to stay off work. Snow had closed it down, and looking out the window at nine eleven PM my time, the snow is still coming down, and the road past my placeis nearly shut. The drifts on my walk around today were nearly at my knees. Not big stuff compared to other countries, but it's bad enough fora cyclist. Ice under powder snow, now being covered with fat flakes. So...I should call myself 'Walker' now!

Dear Friends

What is the true Holiday Dilemma, Jews face at this time of the year?

For those of you who are interested in such things, i would like to share with you how "No Son of Mine" came about. It started with the old Genesis song of the same name. (you can read the lyrics at: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/g/genesis/no_son_of_mine.html) Because i could truly identify with the character in the song, it was a moving piece for me from the first time I heard it. It ends pretty darkly, and at some level that bothered me. I wanted some hope, some possibility of a reconciliation. Then i saw the "loophole".

Somehow, my short story is approaching 1,200 episodes, so it's time I asked if readers want me to continue it for a bit longer - the last time was two hundred episodes ago. This is of course assuming our gracious landlady will permit accommodation for a bit longer - maybe we could all give a little more towards the rent, I know she struggles with it.

I'm still working on a Hatbox story, but it's very slow, plus I have a Gabysode in progress and I know someone would like another Bonkers for her Christmas present, plus I get asked about Snafu and Charlotte fairly regularly.

I've run into a problem and can't finish an editing job for Wren Phoenix. Her story is compelling, quite romantic, and is running in excess of nine chapters.

I'm more of a stand-alone story writer, but someone who has experience with serials would enjoy editing for Wren.

If you're interested, contact her directly.

Jill

This is too funny

http://www.kboi2.com/news/offbeat/110989214.html

Melanie Dian

Hello all,

Enemyoffun was nice enough to post a blog letting some of you know that I've been incommunicado for the last three weeks. My motherboard and CPU had to be replaced on my new laptop that's not even a year old yet. Of course it had to happen right during an epic writing spree and on NaNoWriMo. I would have had that sucker beat in the first week! GAH!

Anyway. I'm still returning emails and PM's, so if you haven't heard from me that's why. I'm back now and my fingers are seriously itching to write something. So to work I go.

Actor Leslie Nielsen has passed away. I never watched the Police Squad movies, but loved his role in Airplane! RIP.

Home again, home again... jiggidy jig...

So the Vacation was awesome and I feel loads better. Sorry for the late posting of the story but unfortunately my home phone is dead and thus my net is down. It sucks, but until I have money I am banging rocks in the cave... metaphorically. Anyway... I just wanted to share. Talk to you all later.

Ciao.

Well, it has been an interesting day, to say the least. I am still fighting a bit of a cold, so I chose to stay home and not go to church today. I went on a chat site to talk to some friends about my depression, and while we were talking, I started having a pretty strong flashback. One of my friends there has my phone number, so she called me, and listened while i cried to the point i could barely talk. Feeling slightly better after i unloaded, i fidgeted, played video games, and made lunch. Then, some remnant of my flashback nagged at me, and i started to write.

SF Chronicle Article

This has been an unusual morning for me. What began as another pointless argument with my mother actually turned into something worthwhile for the both of us. I've learned a lot about her today that I didn't realize before, and I've been shamed for it, I'll freely admit.

The important thing is, I learned she isn't clueless, as I once believed by her previous reactions. In the past I've tried to talk to her about my being transgendered, and it's resulted in some pretty upsetting responses. The thing is, she doesn't remember any of it.

My birthday was a bit disappointing. I had some longtime family friends there as well as my brother, sister-in-law and nephew. The small group of friends that I personally invited never showed up at all. I was very hurt and disappointed, but I guess that's life! I told people that I won't celebrate any more birthdays, because I don't want to get so excited about seeing my friends and then have them decide that I wasn't worth their time. It felt like all the times I was rejected in High School. I got to the point that I withdrew and quit putting myself out there to be hurt again.

The worst part of my downs is the horrible feeling of hopelessness i suffer with. It is hard to even conceive of a good outcome, much less make positive plans. I guess i thought that the anti-depressants would be a magic fix, and not surprisingly, they are not. I am still stuck in male form, still without even hope that i will be able to change that, and wishing that it all would just end. But I am needed, by my daughter, my mother, even my ex, and taking my life would be utterly selfish. I appreciate all the support i am getting here, and I will find a way to hold on.

HELP

Can somebody please, pleeeease create a new 'Lexicon' section for all the odd acronyms in compu-speak that keep cropping up.
Then if an author feels like compiling an acronym of their own they can throw it in 'willy-nilly' or is that 'w-n'and leave an alphabetical translation in the 'Lexicon' section.

It's getting quite frustrating when authors leave ten letter acronyms that don't make sense to other readers, especially old farties, (like me who don't do geek-speak,) and foreign readers.
P.S. I don't do cryptic crosswords either.

Beverly.

Just to let everyone know we just had someone hit the majical year of 40 years old! Happy Birthday JenGrl! Richard

Hi all,