Well, I had the interview, and I think it went okay. I went in boy mode, and didn't mention transitioning, though, and part of me hates myself for that. I hate having to hide, it feels like lying, but I need the income if I am going to make anything happen, and maybe if I get the job, and I prove myself, I can then bring up the subject and have some hope for it.
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Comments
Good Luck
As I said in my PM I think it is a good idea going in boy mode as not everybody is understanding of how hard it is being born with the wrong parts and living a lie hating the outside shell , But we here love the inside Dorothy. I hope you get the job Hugs Girlfriend from RICHIE2
Need to eat
RAMI
The need to be Dorothy is of gret importance, and it must be difficult and painful to go forward in "boy" mode. But, the need to eat and for shelter, may be the way to go initially. Wow them, and perhaps you can slowly reveal your true identity.
RAMI
RAMI
Honesty
Interviews are like first dates - everyone lies.
Pretty much
I've been on both sides of that one. Don't worry about it.
In the realm of pragmatics vs morality, practicality comes first.
Dorothy Please!!
You are still a girl, you just wore different clothes?
Good luck
LoL
Rita
Age is an issue of mind over matter.
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter!
(Mark Twain)
LoL
Rita
Yeah!
What she said :)
~~hugs, Laika the Undercover Princess
What borders on pure insanity?
Canada and Mexico.
.
Even though I have had a a legal name change ...
I am still working as Dave.
The need for a job is the reason I have not gone full time.
I've felt that in this economy, and at my age, and finding only temp jobs, I did not need to throw the TS monkey wrench into the job hunting equation.
I held off on everything that might affect my job, including the name change until I was within a couple of months of quitting to go into semi-retirement.
While the company where I have been temping says they are accepting, I have not actually seen or heard about anyone in the LGBT community actually being here.
When I gave 7 weeks notice this past week, I went ahead and came out to my supervisor, because:
A. I did not want to have them waste their time and min, and their money, in training as a super user in a major database software program that will not even go online until I am gone.
B. He had told me he had submitted paperwork to bring me in as a regular employee, and asked me to reconsider.
So, I told him about Holly, since it would have to come out if they hired me. He seemed to see no problem, and in fact, invited me to be ME for my final 7 weeks.
If I were going to be there for a long time, I would take him up on it, But maybe there is a bit of chicken in me, as I cannot see rocking the boat for 7 weeks.
It’s not given to anyone to have no regrets; only to decide, through the choices we make, which regrets we’ll have,
David Weber – In Fury Born
Holly
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
Holly
Look at it the other way
You now have a seven-week period where you can try the real you out. If it works, then you can file that away for the future. If it doesn't, well, wave good-bye at the end and no harm done either side. What's the worst they can do? Send you on gardening leave?
It's not as if you have to change and then stick out the same job for however long. That deadline can be most useful if you let it.
If course, if they like the real you, then you might have to reconsider leaving... but that's a story for another time.
Penny
I (would like)/(need), the final 7 week's paychecks
and I do not want to take a chance on losing them.
YES, California has a nice law 'protecting' LGBT individuals.
However, it has no real teeth.
CA is also a 'right to work' state, which really means, 'Right to let go with no reason needed.'
That puts the onus on the individual who was terminated, of suing and proving that their gender/sexual preference status is the reason they were terminated.
Plus, I am a temp on a week to week extension, giving me even less protection.
I've just been waiting until the weather should let me cross the Sierra Nevadas & Rockies without worrying about snow, to make my move, but every week is letting me build up a bit more nest egg to take with me.
I've worked as Dave for 49 years, I can do another 7.
I guess there is still a bit of http://www.mypetchicken.com/chicken-breeds/Polish-B91.aspx in me.
Holly
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
Holly
you know...
At the place I work they are struggling to sell version one of our software. Yet they are working on version two...if they can't sell version 1 because they don't have enough staff to fix the issues...why are they putting staff on version 2.
This is kind of like us (those who transition). In order to create version 2... version 1 has to survive. You shouldn't look on your decision to feed/clothe yourself as a failure to transition. Rather view it as gaining the resources to build your version 2.
Best of luck.
Dayna.
ps. Just because you're in 'boy mode' doesn't mean you have to play up at being male. Have a femme flair... (within your scope of safety).
Now look here...
You did what you thought you needed to do, and you were probably right to do it that way. Even though I've been FT for about 13 months now, I still work under my old name. I decided I had no choice when I got the job, back in October. I only just this past week told my sup all of what was up, and he was very encouraging, said he would make discrete inquiries, etc. Possibly not the best timing, he's just put me up for a promotion. If I get it, it makes all the difference, because its going to the corporate end and the corp health package pays for GCS!
But I have indeed just taken the first step toward "Throwing the TG monkeywrench into the gears". Madly scary, especially considering this is the best opportunity to come my way for at least half a decade. But I set sail a while before you did hun, and I'm way too far offshore to consider turning back. I'm reaching the point where there literally is no way for me to hide.
The thing is, I never really did, at least not very well. Apparently my coworkers(like all the way through my entire work life) thought I was gay. If I wasn't transgendered, they'd have been right. I'd be owning that then(Which, BTW, I tried very hard to do) instead of this. Confronting reality is hard.
I guess my point is, take it as you think you can. You might have to play guy for a while, but you know you can't keep yourself from "Leaking round the edges". That can be a good thing, it gives them a little bit of time to adjust.
Someone else said "Be a Bit camp". I don't know I'd say that, more like just be yourself without actually saying it. People will get it. Those who are willing to accept you will do so. Those who aren't, won't, and you will have adversaries.
That is always the way. Pick your battles. More importantly, only take on the battles you know you at least have a chance to win. A lost cause is romantic and all, but it is still lost, and I know that is not what you want.
You're finally on the road to becoming Dot. Yeah, I know its Dorothy, but you do know Dot is like the most common nick for that, right? I was where you are, not very long ago. Now I'm in the middle, glad for and madly jealous of my friends who started when I did and have already had their surgeries. Mostly, they have drifted away. They are done with their transition, in a way, and its time for them to move on. I get it, but I miss them....
Buck up, girl. Its a hard journey, but you're tough. You'll make it. If you ever need a shoulder, you know I'm here.
Abby