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struggling with felling pathetic

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I am just about to go out to meet my friend dressed as Dorothy, but I am struggling. It's hard not to see what I look like in a mirror, and think "Who the heck do I think I am fooling? I don't look like a woman, I look like a bad joke, a man in drag pretending. I wish I could turn off that "tape" once and for all. I fear that as long as I hear that message, I am not going to make real progress.

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Looking for a Story

Forums: 

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Wasn't going to bother anyone, but with the search function down and no luck looking through the author list, I figured I'd ask.

There was a popular series here about a teen-aged T-girl who was an excellent locksmith. She also helped out caring for a baby at a home across the street from hers. Can't remember the title or author.

Thanks, Eric

Irony

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Irony can be described as an incongruity between what is expected and what actually occurs.

On the left side of the screen this morning is a message discussing the apparent demise of Storysite. On the right side is the display of contributions to Hatbox.

First of all -- Storysite has been "gone" before and seems to come back every time.

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ALERT! ALERT! ALERT!

This is a general warning to everybody out there using facebook particularly if connected to your computer and mobile phone.

These is a fishing scam doing the rounds where a site that looks very like Facebook appears on your puter when you seemingly log into facebook.

They garnish your password then use it to hack into any other sites that might have your same password.

My advice is to stop using Facebook until they improve their security, though God knows when that will be, and then change all your passwords!

Beverly.

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a wake up call from a dream?

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I know to some people regarding your dreams as something worth thinking about once you wake is a little odd, but I do. I don't necessarily think that they are messages from God, but I think they often show me whats going on in my head better than i can sometimes express it when i am awake. So last night, I had a dream of being in a large room, perhaps a gym that had been converted into something like a flea market. I recognized most of the people there. Then a girl came up to me, shook me, and said, "When are you going to stop running?

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A day of triumph and tragedy.

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I spent most of a couple hours talking with a GG who had no clue I was anything but what I presented myself to be...namely, me, Cathy. That's the triumph part. When she finally tumbled, she was blown away and completely complimentary, to the point where she wanted to exchange email addresses.

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Late again!

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I keep losing track of time lately! Sorry about being a day late to post again, but The Watcher #7 is up now. Things get a bit complicated for me at this point, because Watcher, Who Watches the Watcher, Toil & Trouble and Venus Cursed! all come together to some extent. There will be a fair amount of overlap between the various series for a while, though mostly between Toil & Trouble and Venus Cursed!

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Surprise Update and some info...

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So, here is the next great chapter in the epic 300 Rains. I am posting it early because I take off on vacation Friday and thus am not going to update anything until the Sunday after Thanksgiving. After 4 months of sorting, processing, cleaning and painting my MIL's house after she passed away in July, we are done and thus need to get the hell away from all of this crap. So, we are going to spend a week in Myrtle Beach to unwind. I also plan swimming in the ocean just because. Because I want to.

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Life's funny sometimes

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So um, it turns out my mother took out a small life insurance policy on me several years ago as part of a package that covered the three of us, adding me as a term policy or somesuch. I don't really understand how it all works, but basically, since the cost was increasing she decided to go ahead and cancel it.

Neither of us knew this was the type of policy that you pay into like a savings account. Between this and the award for the Halloween contest, I'll be able to afford a new keyboard and stand (I'm going with the Yamaha PSR E423) with a little bit left over. :-D

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need to thump my brother

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Ok, so my brother sends me a youtube link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJGNBj09_VA&feature=related

And it is Weird Al with Drivin a Truck, reminiscent of those old truck driving songs, but with a Monty Pythonesque twist...

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mother always told me there would be days like this...

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Well, today was a tough, frustrating day at work, and I am glad it is over. Basically, we spent the whole day preparing for a delivery that didn't come, and then had to spend the rest of the time putting everything back we had moved out to make room. Sadly, tomorrow could be worse, as that delivery plus another are expected. But the good news is that a friend from the support site i am a member of wants to meet me in Real Life, on Thursday, and I am totally pumped. It will be really nice to have an outing with a friend as Dorothy.

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I Got Some News

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The nurse from my Endocrinologists office called and told me that she was sending my new prescriptions out to me. She did tell me that my blood sugar was elevated and they scheduled me for an appointment on December 10th. I am hoping and praying that I can get it down by modifying my diet and not have to start insulin. I hate needles anyway,so the idea of sticking myself a few times a day is not high on my list of things I want to get started doing. My family history is not on my side with regards to diabetes. I just hope I can change habits and take care of it that way.

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On Being A Real Man ?

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You might catch "NEWS" (?)

Just to warn anyone who wants to try things of this sort. Didn't work for me; wasn't gay. Oddly enough I had no attraction to men at all until well into transition. It took me a long time to resolve the pure, unadulterated, revulsion I had for men, but after a long time, living as a woman, it slowly ebbed. I don't know how.

In this one, I will say that the psychobabble is impressive, but you can still see the conflict in the face of the man who was interviewed.

http://news.yahoo.com/video/us-15749625/22933983#video=22934675

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Tuck Season 13 is up

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No I don't want to remember another password and log onto yet another forum. So I'll post here since it will probably share much the same readership.

Great to see Tuck in control as always, made even easier by Jane and crew being down with illness.
I am sure they are blind at the moment to what an asset they have on their hands. It will be fun to see what happens once honest and open communication starts between them.

I really feel Tucker would be such an asset to Hayfield Hall, don't you think?

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A Very Peculiar Engagement

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A very peculiar engagement

Having read this story, it would be very easy for me to get carried away with commenting on how ridiculous ‘his’ views are. To say:
"People who think they are a woman trapped in a male body are, in my opinion, completely deluded. I certainly was."
Here is the link:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1327554/Charles-Ka...

I will limit my comment to reiterate an old saying ‘he took the dressing up too far’ I am certain others will leave more pertinent comments
Love to all

Anne G

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Mom Defends Son's 'Daphne' Halloween Costume

I saw this on AOL
Mom Defends Son's 'Daphne' Halloween Costume
The kid is five and looks cute. He wanted to have fun, and the costume is over the top.

The reaction is idiotic. Most of the comments to the story are supportive

Here is the link.

http://www.parentdish.com/2010/11/08/mom-defends-sons-daphne...

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The Cynthia Chronicles on Stardust

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I am posting each of the novellas of The Cynthia Chronicles on Stardust. They will be posted as complete novellas, rather than a chapter at a time. This might help the readers enjoy an entire story without a break. Portia

http://stardustr.us/content/cynthia-chronicles-volume-1-book...

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surviving church, and a christmas party

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I am, as I have said before, something of a spiritual orphan. I cannot help but take my faith and the Bible seriously, but what i am is not accepted by churches that do for the most part. But yesterday was just about the last straw for me at the ex's church. They had a guest speaker who essentially was a Christian version of "the power of positive thinking" crowd. "If you are struggling, it's cause you want to struggle" was his message, and it took all my self-control not to get in his face.

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University of Chicago

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I was wondering if anyone knew anything about the University of Chicago because that's where All That Glitters is going to take place in, well a good portion of it anyway. I'm just started to write it now so any information on it would help.

Thanks in advance,

EOF

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Special offers - extended

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I've decided to extend the special offers on Unexpectedly Mary and Jamie and the Peach books for a further week, you can still order and get stuff in time for Christmas!

Go to http://www.lulu.com/scaramouch and have a look at the full range of Fiction, Travelogues and picture books available from Scaramouch.

ttfn

Mads

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Apparently I forgot to blog about this! Extra money from the V. A.!

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I'm retired, mostly due to some health issues. So I'm drawing my Social Security benefits a bit earlier than I would have wanted to, resulting in a lower amount of money a month.

Just for kicks, I went to my V.A. rep and asked about the possibility of being eligible for a military pension, since I served 8 years, 4 more than the minimum enlistment in the Air Force, during the Vietnam conflict. He explained that if one served for more than 90 days in the military, during a period of conflict, one was eligible, depending on one's monthly income.

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nobody guessed

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Well, nobody even tried to guess the character that is based on a well known character from another author. This could mean i did a better job of disguising her than I thought, or it could mean nobody cares, take your pick. I have tried very hard to be kind to everybody here, so I hope its not the latter. I have a little piece I am working on that i hope to be finished soon, then i plan to get back to working on my "Wild Cards" story. For those who are not familiar with the series, I will put a short glossary of terms at the end of the story.

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Read Team Spirit II

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Hi folks

Kelly Ann Rogers here (I know, who?). I've been a bad girl (I know, you don't care).

I haven't yet commented on Team Spirit. My bad.

Let me be straight-forward. Team Spirit II is one of the absolute best TG stories to appear for quite a while. It's a must read. Here's why:

Amazingly, this is Meps98's first TG fiction story, but she writes as if she's been doing this for decades. This is a really well crafted story, easy to read and compelling.

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I Had A Blue Day Today

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I have had a blue day today. I was asked what I wanted to do for my big milestone birthday coming up on the 27th and I told my family that I wanted to invite a few friends over to share it with me. I found out one of them will be in for Thanksgiving with her family, but she will be going back home the same day and won't be able to come back for Sat. My other friend is still mad at me and she probably won't want to come for my birthday. I just don't know why I am still taking this so hard over the last month, but it still hurts me so much. I just can't let go of things so easily.

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Lilith

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Hi everyone.

Lilith asked me to post this blog for her because she's having computer problems. The motherboard on her laptop is fried and unfortunately it won't be fixed for about two weeks. She just wanted to let anyone know who was interested that she was going to be out of touch until then.

Thanks for reading,

EOF

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Early Chapter, happy talk

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Well, I decided to upload the chapter early as tomorrow is going to be crazy, what with painting and ritual stuff... so anyway.

I am looking forward to people's comments on this chapter, as there is some fun stuff in there that changes the tide of things and ups the stakes of the game. I figured that it might get some responses and thus it would be nice to see. I actually dig your comments and several of them have actually made me shift some things in the story or add things that were not there to start with. I really value them.

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Skin Horse

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There is a phrase in today's episode, dudes, that I just love. Unfortunately, much as I would like to steal it and use it, I cannot think of anywhere I could squeeze in "undead rampage of killosity"

Any ideas?

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I Had Blood Work Today

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I had my blood work done today and I am worried that if they find anything wrong that my doctor will stop my HRT. I am keeping my fingers crossed that everything comes out okay. I have been lucky that things have come out fine in the past. I will be on pins and needles waiting for the results. I imagine I will be on edge all weekend until I know what the results are. Has anyone had their HRT stopped because of something showing up. I guess I am just freaking out over the prospect. I imagine I am coming across as borrowing trouble. I just can't help it right now.

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A spirtiual pick up

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I had a wonderful moment at work, but I don't know how to describe it. For perhaps the first time, I saw how far God has brought me in becoming a mature Christian. I saw i actually have "the fruits of the Spirit", and in greater quantities than i would have dreamed possible for someone like me, considering how often i have doubted my basic salvation. I hope i can remember it if i struggle again.

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Sexual confusion... among insects!

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There have been numerous ways devised over the years to control pests. The most obvious is to dig out bottles of pesticide - unfortunately, if they're over-used, they can have damaging impacts on the human population. For larger pests, capture and sterilisation has been used. But what if your pest is an insect?

How about spraying the crops with a wax powder coated with female insect pheromones? It obviously doesn't affect female insects, but for the poor males who pick up the particles and end up wafting female pheromones about the place...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-11694374

The headline? "How are sexually-confused insects helping small farmers?"

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The Stone of Selana

Over on Bob Arnold's F&SF site, The Stone of Selana is complete. It is the first of a trilogy, so be warned if you start it expecting a final wrap-up at its end. The novel is epic fantasy, so there is much darkness in it, but not as much as I've seen elsewhere in the mainstream. And it is primarily mainstream. Almost no TG and only a modest amount of lesbian reference. The evil-doers are quite evil and do some nasty things to their enemies, some of it in a sexual way, so be prepared. But that isn't the main focus of the novel, it's fantasy. So if you are a fan of fantasy, check it out.

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Important Legal Stuff for me.

I am now in the process of several legal thingies. One is FINALLY filing for my legal name change. Yeah, I know, just call me the head procrastinator! LOL!

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Spam Mail!

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To everyone that I have your e-mail address. If you have gotten SPAM E-mail with my address as where it came from, I'm sorry as some how and it is not only my address but someone has gotten into MSN's web site and has stolen these addresses off their site as this info is on their site not my computer. I've had this address almost ten years now and I have complain to Microsoft several times about this but it seems to go nowhere with them. I know I've had several friends that have said they have had to drop their addresses and start new ones because of this! Richard

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I want to dedicate this song to my Jonelle.

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It's the perfect song for her and just had to share it with anyone who wants to check it out. It completely says how I think and feel about my Jonelle.

It's "Just the way you are." By Bruno Mars.

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Robber picks wrong Transvestite prostitute to rob

http://news.cincinnati.com/article/20101026/NEWS010702/10270...

Sixteen-year-old Rufus Bowman was looking for an easy victim, but he picked the wrong one during a July 13 incident.

Bowman was in the 200 block of West McMicken Avenue in Over-the-Rhine when, Assistant Hamilton County Prosecutor Ryan Nelson said, he approached Joshua Bumpus.

"Mr. Bumpus is a transvestite prostitute," Nelson said. "He goes 6-(foot)-3, 280 (pounds) and was wearing a pink halter top and pumps."

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Transgender Issues: The Additional Challenges of LBGT Aging

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The Huffington Post did an article about this and references the In The Life documentary that will be showing in various markets.

This article has a link to the documentary. Caution, have kleenex ready.

Transgender Issues: The Additional Challenges of LBGT Aging

Here's a direct link to the documentary.

In the Life

Much love to all,

Connie

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Questions about the stories on the site and on the net

Forums: 

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Well storysite.org and storysitetwo.org and all the other forms of that site has official shut down I heard. I do not know why, but i miss many of the stories. It also seems like Sapphire has not added stories in a long time and as for asstr.org is hard for me to determine whether they are getting new stories, because it is so big and a little disorganized when it comes to finding and discovering new stories. I like this website and fictionmania.tv and then askjolene stories section (which allows me to find literatica stories and asstr stories in the search engine).

Charlotte's Test

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I have been looking over the dozens of my story ideas stored on my computer, some of them years old and never likely to be started, never mind finished, and trying to work out why I never took them any further.

Most of them show the protagonist getting into an interesting, complex (and almost believable!) situation. But I now realise one particular fault is shared by many of them. In future, I'm going to rigorously ensure I don't fall into the trap again by applying "Charlotte's Test".

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Looking for name of story

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im looking for a story where the main character is some sort of computer whiz.He has to got to job interview dressed as a girl and ends up getting his hips realigned and put in a corset.The person responsible for it gets arrested and she gets hired as a manager.I think it was a clothing company and it was implied that the main character was intersexed.

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On Ethnographies and writing

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Well, busy again, but thankfully I am two weeks in advance of where I need to be with editing. Granted the chapter after that is new and I have to write the whole thing, but hopefully after that I should be good for a while.

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Obituary: David/Sonia Burgess human rights lawyer.

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This was the person who was pushed under the tube train last week and quite honestly, they were very active as a migration and human rights lawyer, involved with transsexual rights as well as other cases. Anyone who can get the Home Secretary found guilty of contempt of court has to be pretty clever. Such a loss to minority communities everywhere. Do read it and see.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/law/2010/nov/02/david-burgess-obit...

Angharad

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good news, i hope.

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I am not sure if I have mentioned it, but I am now on anti-depression medication. The funny thing is that this doctor has never seen me in male clothing. Its still a little strange to be in a public waiting room dressed, but so far, nobody has made a big deal of it. I think that's good news, right?

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Time of the Year

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I hate this time of the year because its so damn cold. I live in Western New York, just north of Buffalo. From the beginning of October and all the way to April sometimes, the weather here is absolutely frigid. It's horrible. The worst part is that its not consistent. One day it will be nice, sunny and sixty and the next day it could be freezing and thirty five. I've lived in this area all my life and you'd think it would get easier over the years but it doesn't.

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Must Reading - Angela's The Woman Who Corrupted Diddleyburg

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Angela has posted an absolutely amazing piece today, The Woman Who Corrupted Diddleyburg.

It is a very clever title, because it is a play on the Mark Twain classic, The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg. And Angela plays so well with Twain's plot. You really need to read the original version to understand just how excellent her story is. Click here to read Twain's version:

The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg

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The Stupid Old Woman's Blog

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When I agreed to accompany my friend to Ohio, I thought it was a blessing. Some of you were slightly jealous, and I can't blame you. Now that we have been here for slightly over 10 weeks, here is a progress report:

When we got to Ohio, it was hotter than any place I had ever experienced except for Bangkok Thailand, or Maybe Fort Gordon, GA, or Lawton Oklahoma. It was unspeakably hot. I had been in 110 or 120 degree temperatures before but the humidity was low. This at a mere 85 was absolutely smothering because of the humidity. Thankfully, now in November, it freezes at night.

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Way to go Giants

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I just want to congratulate my SF Giants for winning the World Series. After seeing the disgusting Tshirts the Texans composed "Steers vs Queers" I have to laugh. Our group of mutts weren't suposed to have a chance against the power of the steers, but pitching will always beat hitting and the last two games proved that. I only hope they can do it again next year, Arecee

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Great News - Musetta Is Out of Prison

Musetta Floria Meyers has been released from prison, her convictions have been reversed. She has arrived in Redding, California, and has met the O'Donnell's. Everything is looking particularly sunny for her future.

Just thought you might want to know.

Portia

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Do you ever just feel like screaming at your keyboard?

You know, things like "Stupid keyboard! MAKE WORDS!" ;-)

I've been ... Well, not exactly stuck per se, but having difficulty finding the right words for the next scene of my next chapter of Robin. I have the entire chapter in my head, and I can see each scene playing out, but somewhere between there and my fingers it's just not coming across as clearly as I'd like.

Zerophilia Fanfic

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Today while web surfing I ran across this story, "QED." It appears to be a "Zerophilia" fanfic. It is by Jon Buck and is hosted at the site. Warning it is still incomplete, but I found it interesting anyways. Since it was just posted there is more to come.

The story link is http://shifti.org/wiki/User:JonBuck/QED

The site link is http://shifti.org/wiki/Main_Page

Shifti has stories about all kinds of transformations, many of them about furries. However, there is a section that is just TG. It is set up in a wiki format so it can take some exploring to find what you're looking for.

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OOOOPS!

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I am soooo sorry for those who read that HaP 34 posting. I didn't realize that I had left some things out as well as some half finished POVs in that chapter. I deleted the post and will work on it a bit more. I promise I will re-post it again once it is finished. I just got a bit ahead of my self.

Thanks for understanding (hopefully)

A.A.

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Not posting

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So you aren't hanging about waiting i thought i'd post a quick note.

I shan't be posting anything new here for the foreseeable although visitors to my site, maddybell.com might well find something from time to time.

  1. From feedback i have had @ 30% of the readers don't like my stories
  2. I don't have anything to post
  3. i'm too busy with other stuff to write
  4. I can't be bothered

The situation could change at any time - i'll keep you posted

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Out of the (Stephen) Fry-ing pan...

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Stephen Fry (possibly the most well-known homosexual in Britain, also actor, comedian and host of QI) has caused a few raised eyebrows over the weekend. In an interview for November's "Attitude" magazine, he apparently said:

"If women liked sex as much as men, there would be straight cruising areas in the way there are gay cruising areas...It doesn't happen. Why? Because the only women you can have sex with like that wish to be paid for it."

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Perfect Storm turns 12-String to Dust in the Wind

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Ok, so last week, I did some major deep tissue damage to my back and shoulders. This means that doing my homework (math this semester) is a pain in the neck, literally, let alone sitting for the four hours a day I need for writing my stories. Did I mention that I already spend eight hours a day at work doing typing?

Add to that the fact that I got both LEGO Universe (early) and The Lost Hero (book, unexpected) this weekend.

On top of that, I had my daughter's birthday to take care of on Saturday. Yes, she was a Halloween baby.

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More on the tube killing from the Daily Wail.

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A tabloid's dream, the accused of killing a transgender lawyer, is herself trangendered and wanting a sex change. Not the cleverest thing to do then, shoving someone under a train.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1325544/Woman-accuse...

And from the Guardian:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2010/nov/01/tube-station-murder...

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Woman accused of London tube train murder

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Nina Kanagassingham, the woman accused of the murder of cross-dressing human rights lawyer, Sonia Burgess, turns out to be a transitioning transexual.*

More details here: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1325544/Woman-accuse...

Gabi

* Sorry if this seems like a sensational “tabloid rag lead-in”, but I used to be a newspaper journalist and old habits die hard, so I hope you will forgive me. :)

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Transsexual Scrabble Champion

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Resplendent in pink wig and PVC dress, a tranny wins the UK contest. See link below:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-11662754

Sadly the BBC were the only media who used female pronouns, even the Guardian and the Independent described her as him.

Angharad.

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Unusual Scrabble champion...

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The Scrabble championships don't normally attract a lot of media attention, in much the same way as chess championships don't.

But that's been blown apart by the winner of this year's contest...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-11662754

(N.B. That BBC article is one of the few referring to Mikki using feminine pronouns)

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Out at work (kinda-sorta)

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I think i may have a world record in the Strangest Coming Out Story Ever category. See, some time ago I shared my status in a very joking manner with some co-workers. Well today was the first time I had seen one since, and he announced my girl name to everyone at the morning meeting. The general response was giggles as they assumed he was kidding, and that i was playing along. But, the result is that I think more people know about Dorothy than don't. Weird, huh? On a lighter note, nobody has yet guessed the character that is based on a well-known character featured on this site.

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Unexpectedly Mary Chapter 2

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Well seeing as chapter 1 got such a good reception I decided to treat you all to a much sooner than planned follow up - chapter 2!

Hope you enjoy it and are encouraged to post comments, buy the book, have a beer, buy a book for a friend, pester me for more!

Mads

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Shaking and sweating

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Just finished a German exam over a mobile telephone. Hard to hear the examiner, and for some reason I was nervous as all hell. I speak German, for gods' sakes.
That's it, though, my last exam for the foreseeable future. Do I care about the result? Course I do!

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The Working Girl Blog #54: A guitar-playing Vulcan

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The Working Girl Blogs Revision 2.0
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Blog #54: A guitar-playing Vulcan at the office Halloween party

To see all of Bobbie's Working Girl Blogs, click on this link: http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/19261/working-girl-blogs

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I decided to take a lesson from my characters - Updated 11/15/2010

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I have, for as long as I can remember, had a love affair with the language of music. In seventh grade (That's about age 12-13) my friends used to joke that when I played "A Whole New World" from Aladdin on my trumpet, it was like I went into a trance.

I never learned to read sheet music because of my vision problems. I actually found it MUCH easier to just learn to listen to what the guy next to me was playing and just copy him. I got so good at it that I could pick up a new part of a piece after an hour of practice listening to someone else sight-read it.

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Darkness Is Not My Thing

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Musetta' Waltz was an experiment that I guarantee you I will never venture into again. I wanted to write a story about the transgendered prisoner that Richard O'Donnell fell in love with and eventually married. The problem was she was a three time loser, and that was the reason she was there in the first place. As I said somewhere before, I was painted into a corner, after all pleasant events, supportive family, acceptance are not going to get someone in jail. In defense of Musetta's Waltz, it does get better, a lot better for her.

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Dissatisfied date (spoof)

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Newsbiscuit carries a variety of spoof / satirical news stories, but this particular one (evidently compiled by a history buff) had me chuckling far more than most...

The supposed dating site advert:

‘Young-at-heart widower seeks like-minded companion of child-bearing age for fun, adventure and to sire a male heir to the throne. GSOH and an intolerance of Catholics an advantage.’

The dissatisfied customer? Miss Katherine Parr, age 31. No prizes for guessing who supposedly posted the ad (with obligatory misleading portrait)...

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negitive images of TG in the media

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I am concerned about the portrayal of TG in the media recently. For example, a Canadian Colonel has recently pled guilty of a escalating series of crimes that ended with the rape and murder of two women. But the image that has made the rounds is the man dressed in woman's underwear that he had stolen from women and girls, and his cross-dressing has been played up. Even my mother wondered if he was like me.... It would be wonderful if we could get someone from our community who does something wonderful, that we can show as positive role models. Ah well.

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For U Bicycle Fans here in the USA!

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South Carolina’s first car-free Bicycle City is about to become a reality. The new Bicycle City will be located in South Carolina’s central midlands region near downtown Columbia, home to eight colleges and universities and the convergence of three rivers. We have begun building miles of hiking and biking trails and will hold an exciting ground breaking event on December 11. Bicycle City has been covered by Bicycling magazine and Next American City magazine and will be featured in Outside magazine’s December issue.

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every bloody day is Halloween for me

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Sometimes, it feels like every bloody day is Halloween for me. I am forced to wear a costume and a mask each and every day. Some days that's okay. I find within me enough masculinity to keep up appearances, and I play my role well. Other days, that mask gets uncomfortable, that costume difficult, and it's all I can do to endure, and pray that someday I will be permitted to be free. Ah, well.

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Crossing the Pacific, Google-style...

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From the company that once advised people asking for driving directions between Europe and the US to "Swim across the Atlantic Ocean", try entering these searches into Google Maps and watch out for some rather suspicious looking directions...

From: Japan To: China (Step 43)
From: Seattle To: Sydney (the suspicious direction appears thrice!)
From: Seattle To: Beijing (both modes of water transport)

Apparently it works for a lot of trans-Pacific routes - but sadly they haven't reimplemented the very long swim on the other side of the globe :(

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Not another one

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I've mentioned this before but sometimes while writing I make crazy mistakes. Like typing Elephant instead of elevator. While typing Chapter 26 of Duty Honor Country Family, I did something similar at least three times.

The most recent of which was when I typed Betty instead of Becky. Becky*(Also known as Hiromi) is only the story's main character.

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Death in London

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http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-11639505

I tried posting this up when it happened, but something went wrong in the process. I am surprised I have not seen it here already. I was rather angry with the initial press coverage, which seemed to put the death of a fellow human behind such things as "MAN IN A DRESS!!!!!" and "Delays for Passengers"

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The evolution of Choices

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I would like to take a moment to talk about how the story "Choices" evolved. Like some other ideas i have had, this one came to me while I was struggling to sleep, and originally, it was a lot darker.

At the time, it was going to be about a straight male who is presented with horrible choices, of which slowly transforming into a woman is the least objectionable to him, even though he is not transgendered. Everyone believes this transformation is his own idea, and is totally supportive, which he finds frustrating.

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On characters

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I was musing as I worked today, while also preparing for a language exam and nursing sore LH fingertips from a session last night. I started submittng stuff here two and a half months ago, or so, and I have ended up doing a bit of self analysis.How do I write? Oh shut up at the back, yes, I tap buttons on a keyboard, but...
Apart from a deliberate change for a horror story, all my central characters are TS.
Everything is first person.
I like to drop hand grenades into the plot.
There are set-piece events,like PBP and the rugby in StD.

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New Jeans, Too Large For Me

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I got a great buy on these jeans http://www.coldwatercreek.com/product-detail/50615/56765/sli... in a Misses size 16. Unfortunately for me, Coldwater Creek seems to engage in "vanity sizing". I guess I need a 12 or 14 in their sizes. There's a lot more spandex in this fabric than I expected. The fabric stretches 10% or so without much strain. So, someone who wears a size 20 or so in real sizes might be able to wear these.

I can return them, but by the time they subtract return shipping, it's almost not worth it.

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Your Life Is Gonna Be A Train Wreck!

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You can call this a RANT!

I just don't know how it happens! I went through my entire transition while a member of this site, so anyone who has been here as long as I have know that it killed me! I'm not bringing myself down by going back over the whole damn debacle! AGAIN!

Why did I not kill myself entirely? Well, this morning I am wondering why I didn't! Look Sisters, this transitioning is like jumping into a black hole. Most of us lose every single thing that we valued. You won't find me telling you to do it.

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Leukimia, Nephews and New counter tops

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Life seems to be going in an odd yet easy to follow almost roller-coaster pattern, up down up down dup uown or something like that.

today was interesting because I was attending my 'Intro into Practical Nursing' when I got a call from my mom telling me my uncle had been admitted into into oncology with leukemia.

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A peek at an upcoming story

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I thought I might give a sneak peek at an upcoming story I am working on. It takes place in the "Wild Cards" universe. For those who may not know what that is, it is a "Shared universe" series, created and edited by George R.R. Martin. The idea of the series is that a virus comes to earth, turning people into either superheroes or monsters. I am just getting started, so its going to take a bit.

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Out of the Ashes, Part 9 is posted

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I've written about 9000 words in what was supposed to be a 5000-word 'final chapter', Obviously I've miscalculated seriously. :)

Anyway, I broke the story at what I think is a good point, so I can post SOMEthing, at least.

I'm thinking now I *might* be able to wrap it up in 15,000 words, so that leaves two more chapters before I can wind the the story up properly. Fortunately, it's moving along fairly well, and though I don't write quickly, the time I do spend has felt productive so far.

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