Dorothy:

From my own experience, I know how you feel, and I wish I could just hop in the car and drive up to give you a hug. Failing that, please consider this one; the best one I have to offer.

Also, here is an outline of the skills I was taught in the 4+ year stint of intensive psychotherapy at the VA hospital. I did not know until I got to Ohio, that they think I am still a very high risk. HOWEVER I think they are wrong and as hokie as DBT may sound to the uninitiated, they work great on me.

http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/dbt_skills_list.html

OK, print that list out and come back and finish reading this. I'm only going to hit the high spots, but if you have questions, well you know the shtick.

Mindfulness (Wise Mind)

You know, being an OUT T person can get you really hurt sometimes. When that happens, Observe yourself; think about how you feel; let it go through you. Describe to yourself how it feels, let yourself respond to how that feels. (Sometimes I cry) As women, we are entitled to cry. Some of the more cynical practioners will say that as a man you are feeling things that are not acceptable for a man, so you come up with the delusion that you are a woman, so you can deal with those emotions.

You don't have to believe that, but I have heard it more than once, so I just wanted to warn you. The site link that I provided seems to be pretty good, and if you ever want to talk more, we could talk on Skype or something. I have to warn you that I am not always a good person to lean on because sometimes I might be just as down as you.

I use "Radical Acceptance" a lot, and that eventually leads me to self soothing. I use a good bike ride, a hot bath with smelly stuff, in a warm bathroom with a scented candle a little. A little ice cream, some chokie, some Lady Gaga, and some belly dancing will always help me. Hyeah, I really do belly dance, and love it, though I am not very good. Let's face it a lot of belly dancing is in the Butt, and I don't have one. :( And even if I did, a lot of my spine is stiff...Still, the hand and foot movements are pretty easy, and it is fun to play with the veil ! LOL

So, what are some of the tools you use to "Fight Depression". I think that a lot of us don't really fight it, we just try to ride it out, and at times that is what I try to do.

I hope this helps you feel better.

Ma Salaama

Khadijah