I think that most T folk struggle with figuring out who they really are. WELL DUH !!!
So, today, I was just cruising the net, trying to figure out some feelings that, Bailey's, "I'd do anything for love ..." story caused to surface. Well, in my researching, I happened upon an author who is published on LuLu. You can get his book titles off the home page of his site.
To my extreme shock, I found the following page and at first I was extremely offended, and hostile, even pugnacious! But, I kept going back to the page after I'd thrown my fit, and about the third trip back, LOL, I realized that this guy had me dead to rights, firmly in his sights, pinned under his paw. Yes, the page, much to my shock, describes me perfectly. He says much of what we are is genetic, and even correctly describes the genetic line that my family occupies.
Well, the more intelectual members of this site may just have a good laugh because I am so gullible, but that is mentioned in there too. LOL
http://npatraits.homestead.com/comptype.html
Have fun. Maybe you are in there somewhere too. :)
Khadijah
Comments
Biology is
just a tiny aspect of who we all are. If we one craves by instinct to be protected and to be in a more of a sub role then what's wrong with that. There are those with the drive to nurture and protect and cherish to fit their own psyches.
Submission life styles are largely trust excercises, on both parts. Genetics is only a tiny part of who we are and supposed to be. If genes ran true then this site would be here or needed so much.
You are who you are, and that's a warm, funny and wonderful woman Khadijah. Genetics just are the stuff that makes up the house god gave our spirits. It's up to us how we decorate them, or remodel them.
It's just flesh, not the soul. Don't read too much into it.
Much love returned.
Bailey.
Bailey Summers
Reductionism
It pays little notice to learned behaviours and cultural characteristics. Mendellian genetics is over simplistic compared to modern ideas and research. I suspect the author would be in favour of eugenics.
Angharad
Angharad
I think that's unfair
While the whole thing looks a bit flawed as a supposition, the writer included enough caveats and bewares to not be accused of pseudo-Darwinian excesses. As for learned behaviors and cultures, the simplifications are there and are noted. One can't make a broad supposition without the necessary simplifications.
A genetic basis (not meaning predetermination) to personality and behavior is, in fact, quite in agreement with modern ideas and research.
Hugs,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
I am not a shrink, nor do I play one on Saturday Night Live.
Still, if you had been a mouse and watched me having fits and stamping around ... LOL
In my opinion, that page nailed me perfectly, right down to being quite assertive if pushed into it. Now, it probably is not an absolute, and there are some aspects that it does not mention, but for me it seems to fit.
Much peace
Khadijah
I'm not an expert...
I'm not an expert - far from it in fact. One thing I am, though, is a compulsive reader.
Don't be surprised when you find some analysis that describes significant portions of your personality. These "coded" profiles exist, because someone (or someones) were able to get some level of descriptivity out of it.
What you need to be careful of are a few things:
1) conclusions the "authors" may make as to why you exhibit these things.
2) Assuming that since it sounds right, it completely describes you
3) Accepting that if part of it fits perfectly that it's completely correct. (not quite the same as the previous)
4) You take actions under the belief that this description is YOU
But, seriously, you have to expect things like this to have a "category" that describes you to a greater or lesser extent. It's like horoscopes and other things.
Depending on who you read, you'll find "experts" that claim - with great authority - that nature controls you (i.e. genetics), that nurture controls you (how you were brought up and life experiences), or that it's some combination. (You can find this in various denominations of the Christian faith as well. There are some that say whether you will go to heaven is determined at birth and no action you take makes any difference, but if you act evil, it's because you were not going to heaven to begin with. Others say your actions on earth determine whether you go to heaven or not.)
So, go ahead and take this information for what it's worth. My personal opinion is that anything like this describes at most a small part of who we are. Not only that, we can act in accordance with something like this - or not. WE have to decide. Some decisions are easier than others. For example, the decision on whether to transition or not. Given society today, our decision to transition isn't one that is lightly taken. We set ourselves up for a lot of problems. That said, there comes a time for some of us where continuing to live without transition is not a healthy one. Even after transition, the decision on surgery isn't easy (Okay, I'd do it tomorrow, if there weren't other factors...).
Good luck, whatever you do with things like this. Remember, you are YOU. You're NOT some "code" someone came up with to fit their data/hypothesis.
Anne
Well, I thought it described me, but nooo....
Sometimes I want to feel like that person, but I'm not. My friends call me "pleasantly weird" because I act like two different people. Wren is the real me, but as you may have read in Bailey's "Snakes and Ladders", I have a violent side as well. That's Bear, and I don't like him much.
Wren
The Managerial Grid
Dear Annette and Wren:
I don't know if the technique is used any more, but in a company where I worked from '74 to'94, they used a training method called, "The Managerial Grid". I just don't remember much about it, but the key point I wanted to make here, is that it is normal to have a primary public face that everyone sees all day long, but in a crisis, there is a backup personality; the one that comes forward when there is too much bullshit.
I often wonder if the dominant, aggressive types revert to a whiny, wimpy baby personality when over stressed. And, as it happens, I think this is where the steriotypical, nasty, mother like, mistress comes in for the Corporation President.
In my brief foray into the BDSM community, there were scores of men looking for a Dominant Mistress. LOL It was not what I was looking for, but I think that perhaps I could have made a good income from the poor boys. Some even wanted their balls beat! LOL Wallah !!!! It still makes me flinch. LOL
Digressing, I think the link describes my past impecably, but I have free will now, and it need not describe my future, unless I want it to. And, as it happens, it does describe my preferences very well. However, as in the manigerial grid, I do have a secondary personality who can really stand up to things, but is not violent, unless really pressed.
Much peace
Khadijah