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Unrequited Love

Tonight I said goodbye to the man I love, knowing that I likely will not ever see him again. I doubt that he knows anything of my feelings toward him. He is 29, I am 64, so it is well that I never utter a word about it. He did something that is just not done in his faith, he hugged me goodbye and when he did my heart broke.

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Been dormousing.

This time I managed to get to the meeting point, in fact I was first. We had a good survey, found six or seven nest boxes occupied four of which had babies in. Between now and the onset of winter they need to weigh at least 15g to have a chance of surviving hibernation. I got to handle another three dormice and either I'm getting slower or they're getting wrigglier.

Amazingly, one of the group was called Cathy though she wasn't leading the survey.

My little legs and back are now aching from walking up and down a hillside through quite rough woodland.

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How do you beat the block? Some thoughts and ramblings.

As I sit in front of my PC, fingers busily creating on the keyboard, and then that moment arrives, you know, that moment when there simply is nothing there.

I often get them these days, probably my age, but it is common amongst those of us who try to create something for others to read. Yes, I'm talking about those BLOCK moments, when one's brain just can't seem to get the steam train of continuity going again to leave the station.

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Transgendered girl.

I just thought that readers might be interested in this article in the Daily mail; a paper not usually noted for liberal compassionate views.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/index.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2038392/Why-I-let-so...

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I'm back! Part 2!

I can't seem to stay out of the hospital! I had an infection in my stump where I just had surgery. Fortunately, no surgery this time, and it looks like I'm back on track. I hope to be using my prosthetic again by next weekend, this one-legged crap has to end! Stairs are a major project! Oh well!

Wren

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Update

Okay... I am in classes and despite not having a lot of hours (12) it is eating my time and energy. I had gotten out of the school groove and am busy getting back in. The problem is that between school, homework, exercise, keeping the house, dealing with the health issues of my wife and myself, being exhausted from the new schedule, and life in general, I find that I have a limited amount of time in which to write. Because I have hopes of getting paid for the story, The Amulet of Adventure takes precedence.

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What ever your technology?

What ever you use as a computer, and no matter what your politics are, I think that most will find this youtube vid to be really inspiring. I won't say that these folks were lilly white morally but one can not dispute their contribution.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39jtNUGgmd4

Peace

Gwendolyn

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The lack of comments by me on stories. I have been gone.

Hi to all. As you have most likely noticed, due to the lack of comments or e-mails, I have been gone for a few months. I see from checking on a few stories, that I have a LOT of reading to catch up on. I have been very busy these past few months taking care of my Mother (87) and assisting my Sister, as her husband was dealing with bladder cancer. Finally, after many treatments, he is considered at this moment in time free of cancer. Did you know, that bladder cancer is treated by injecting TB cells into the bladder?

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Thanks to all

I just wanted to say thanks to all those who have dipped into their pockets and bought A Witch in Time from Amazon.

Whilst copies are not exactly flying off the virtual shelves, the response has been much better than I thought it would have been - like, it's selling - and I have you wonderful people here to thank for that.

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Another GabyCon review

Here's an alternative bit of waffle about the GabyCon - this time from my perspective :)

Having attended my first GabyCon last year and enjoyed it so much, I readily signed up to this year's. Despite not having ridden (rode?) a bicycle for the best part of 16 years (since going to uni), I was brave / foolish enough to volunteer to take part in this year's bicycle ride. But more on that later.

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Back Burner Stories 2

It's been a while since I posted my first back burner stories blog. Since then, some stories have been finished, and others have been added to the back burner. Here's a few of those new stories I'm currently working on. :)
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Better Than Living in a Box

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Me And My Recliner

Me And My Recliner
Blog

By Stanman63

I now have a recliner that I can sleep in and keep my footsies up level with my heart. I need this to get my legs back down to normal size. My old bed and mattress is too far gone and with the recliner, I can sleep in same room as my brother in case of an emergency. When I was rushed to the hospital, he was the one who called. Now, we are setting things up for my medical needs.

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010) Who's the cute teenage girl in that mirror?

I just took a good look at myself in the mirror this morning in women's underclothing, with very light padding in my bra (the sort that instead of really adding any bust, it helps to firm up the existing)...

Ignoring everything but the figure itself, I look just like a cute, fit, high school girl.

Of course, I still have a beard and too much body hair to be a girl. There's also junior ruining the image... Really damned incredible, though, that I hadn't really noticed this happening until recently.

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my vist to the endochrinology office

Well, my visit went as well as I could have hoped. The nurse took my BP, my weight, and my height, and then the doctor checked my heart, and my lungs, and took a medical history. He then went over what the hormones should do for me, and the risks involved. Then he gave me a permission slip to sign, and a sheet to take to a lab for my blood work. I'll go get that done in the morning, and hopefully, when I see him again in Oct., I will be given the green light to start the hormones.

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Insurance coverage

I work for Turner Broadcasting Systems in Atlanta, GA, USA. Turner offers 4 different insurance plans, a HSA, an HMO, a low cost plan through a major health insurance company and a higher cost plan through the same insurance company. As an aside, I've always chosen the higher cost option because my spouse has MS. Now included as part of that plan is coverage for "Transgender Care". Having read the plan, the coverage is for various surgeries that a F2M or M2F transsexual may seek. IMO, what it covers is WOW!

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009) The Final Notch

I'm now 30" waist circumference, 38" hip, 0.79 ratio.

The body hair is continuing to become reduced, though it seems to have slowed down for now. I think it's directly linked to my growth cycles, instead of growing normally though, it's reverting. One time when I was working, I could swear I'd felt a ton of needle pricks all at once along my arms, and when I looked, everywhere that I'd felt that, the hair had turned pale and thinned drastically.

No change in the boob department.

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And now I am all alone in this world

I was born on January 22nd 1975, the first and only son of Keith and Vivian Leonard. I was named after my father and the connection with him pretty much ended there. From what I pieced together, he left when I was 6months old. I think the very next day my mother decided that she didn't want to stick around either. So there I was, 6 months old and unwanted. Maybe not completely unwanted, because there was Aunt Rosalie, there was always Aunt Roe. She took me in and raised me the best she could. When her husband got up and left us, we took on life together.

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Re: Through the years

I know I went from posting daily to big stretches of nothing. Been a little hectic dealing with the former job and trying to figure out what I want to do in life.

I am also stuck on what I want to do with the story. I'll try to get what I got written so far finished soon and try to get into a better schedule.

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008) It's Official: Bra == Wristwatch.

And that happened danged quick too.

It got quite warm at work today (at least 80+), so I took off my work uniform t-shirt and since my bandeau is plainly visible through the thin fabric of my tank tops, I took it off too and wrapped it up in the work t-shirt and put both in my gear bag to hide it.

Only the Friday before last, I wore my tanks without any thought, today, I felt extremely exposed not wearing a bra.

And yeah, I get uncomfortable when I'm not wearing my wristwatch too, always have ever since I first started wearing one. I'm weird, I know.

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almost passed out at work

Well, I've been pushing myself too hard, apparently. Just after 3 am last night, my body decided it had enough, and I nearly collapsed. I caught myself at the last moment, but it was a wake-up call in more ways than one. I'm going to take it very easy the next couple of days, and be as good shape as I can for my appointment with the endo doc on Wednesday. Hugs to all.

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Should I carry on with Football Girl and other stories?

There are number of reasons why I write, the main ones being because I enjoy doing it and giving pleasure to others. I also love getting comments that reflect that people are moved by my stories. I get a fair number of kudos too, which is the icing on the cake.

But, and there always is a but; increasingly, it appears that I am upsetting some readers. In particular, at the moment, Susan in Football Girl is going through a hard time and things are happening to her that are unpleasant, to say the least.

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Gabycon Over

Well I'm on the way home from Gabycon, where did the time go?

There will be a report midweek but it turned out to be a great weekend, those of you too shy to come missed some excellent food, great company, brilliant sightseeing and loads of brand new Gaby!

Put it in your diary for 2012 so you don't miss out next time!

ttfn

Maddy

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Hatred as a Virtue

There will be no commenting allowed on this post, I just need to say this.

There's a bill in the legislature here in California that would extend the same protections and presence in educational curricula to sexual orientation and gender variation that are allowed and mandated for religious affiliation, ethnic origin and sex.

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The Family Girl #010: Waiting for the other shoe

The Family Girl Blogs
(aka "The New Working Girl Blogs")

Blog #10: Waiting for the other shoe,
Or, "after 9-11, what next?"

To see all of Bobbie's Family Girl Blogs, click on this link:
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/28818/family-girl-blogs

Since last month, I have been dreading September.   I was informed by the bosses that, because of my recent work, I was put on a short list of middle/upper-middle managers that were supposed to be part of the company's so-called "flying squad."

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extra Gaby

Well we are all having a great time at Gabycon, Ang has already posted the Con special and there's another Book 7 chapter posted too!

Today we've got more readings for attendees and as the weather is looking good this morning we'll be hitting the beach later - well Chesil isn't exactlty Skegvegas but there's sea and er pebbles!

Bye for now

Maddy

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Oops

I began writing a new story fleshing it out as I go along. Fifteen pages into it the mother board died. I think it is the mother board. Either that or all four 1 gig memory sticks went bad at the same time. As that is not likely the finger points to the mb. Any way there is a new machine a week or two away. But the story is not backed up. Which means no story because I could not, ever, manage to reconstruct that puppy. The good news is if it was the mother board I can rescue the stuff because the hard drive should be intact.

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The Children of 9/11

I read a nice article story this week in a UK Newspaper that I access on Line. The Daily Mail.
It was called the Children of 9/11 where the mothers who were pregnant lost their husbands or partners in the horrors of that day.
My hope is they all have happy lives and that they never forget the fathers they never met many of whom were in the wrong place at the wrong time and some who were called upon to save lives.

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Three Years and Still Going - But Not so Strong

Three years ago, I finally got up the nerve to post the novels I had written up to that point on BCTS. Frankly, I was a bit apprehensive. September 2008 was a big month in many respects. About the same time I started posting The Heart of the Beholder I found out that I had prostate cancer. The night before I went in for what proved to be a horrible ordeal of three weeks in the hospital and three surgeries, I posted the last chapter of The Narragansett Fork. That one is still one of my favorites because that's where I found Fanny.

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The Family Girl #009: The shopping excursion of death

The Family Girl Blogs
(aka "The New Working Girl Blogs")

Blog #9: The shopping excursion
of death! or  "Killing your credit card
with kindness"

To see all of Bobbie's Family Girl Blogs, click on this link:
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/28818/family-girl-blogs

Last weekend was Labor Day Weekend, as you all know,  which as most know is when sales usually happen.

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NEW TITLE ON AMAZON KINDLE - IN PLAIN SIGHT

Hi all.

I've please in announcing a new title on Amazon Kindle. I shall be placing a taster on my website later today, but in the meantime check out my page on Amazon here: Tanya's Page

Check out Amazon.com here: In Plain Sight

Check out Amazon.co.uk here: In Plain Sight

Check out Amazon.de here: In Plain Sight

Tanya

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007) OK, which ancestor typoed the last name!?

I've always told people I'm not a bird, to help them remember how to spell my last name right... Well, apparently my changing hormones are deciding to make a liar of me.

I've been noticing that I've been eating less and less, more and more often. I recently went to 4 "meals" a day, a bagel for breakfast, a sandwich around 11am, another sandwich around 2pm, and a light dinner.

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Katia, my dear Katia

Katia dear, please behave yourself won't you?

At first when Hurricane Katia came on the scene, I thought for sure that someone at the National Weather Center was a reader on BCTS, and that may be so, but upon doing some more research, found that I did not originat the name at all, but some Greek dude. :(

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Dormice

Hi,

Anybody know if there who to notify if I've found evidence of dormice? I'm in the West Midlands and was helping my partner sort out our new alotment next to the canal when I spotted a hazelnut, at first I though it was a snail but on closer inspection I found it was a hazelnut that had a hole nibbled in it and the inside was hollow.

I brought it home and looked online and found it looks exactly like the chewed hazelnut of dormice.

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Homecoming, so to speak

Yesterday was just a little bit rough, with the combination of medicines having an adverse reaction that both made my stomach turn, and dropped my blood pressure to a dangerous level. Both of those issues were resolved safely and without need for a visit to the E.R. thankfully, and this morning I have to admit I’m feeling pretty good all in all. It probably has to do with this being the first time in two months that I’ve truly been able to “feel” like Zoe inside and out. Let me explain. :-)

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006) ROFL... something in my spam box tickled me.

So I just checked my email as part of my nightly rounds before going to bed, and as I cleared out the spam box, I casually glanced at it's contents, and intermixed were ads for boosting my boob size and ads for "increase your Testosterone"...

...

Really?

How did I even get on the list for two clearly conflicting advertisements?

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005) Tightened another notch in my belt...

I now have 31" waist circumference, and 38" hip circumference. Interestingly, since the last time I measured, I lost exactly 1" at the waist, and gained it in the hips. This puts my Waist-to-Hip ratio at 0.82. My old masculine pot-belly is almost completely gone. I'm now wearing my pants and shorts between my hips and waist at a point where the circumference is 32".

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Some Problems

A persistant problem of mine is when I feel bad, I retreat into myself. Depression itself seems to be a forced retreat from the outside world. It makes sense, in a way; depression can come from injury, problems with others, etc. (This is excepting biological/genetic based depression, which actually is just a tendency to become depressed more easily.) When one has health or interpersonal problems, it might be better to withdraw and heal or let group tensions ease.

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Road to Myself 21: On the Road Again

Road to Myself - 21: On the Road Again
Annette MacGregor

After only being on the road (with work) three weeks out of fifteen months it seems my luck has changed. All of August (except for the week of Vacation) was spent at a client in Pennsylvania. Now, I find myself commuting to the DC area. Working out of town has it's ups and downs!

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Comic book blather, DCs New 52


DC comics shipped the second week of the ‘New 52’ titles and out of 13,
I picked up seven to give them a shot after being underwhelmed by Justice League #1 last week. The titles available were:

ACTION COMICS #1, ANIMAL MAN #1, BATGIRL #1, BATWING #1, DETECTIVE COMICS #1,
GREEN ARROW #1, HAWK AND DOVE #1, JUSTICE LEAGUE INTERNATIONAL #1, MEN OF WAR #1,OMAC #1, STATIC SHOCK #1, STORMWATCH #1 and SWAMP THING #1.

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"Fleshing" out a story.

I am trying to get back to writing; reading a few of my old stories to see what I liked and thinking. The first story I published on this site, drew a comment that said something like, you have a nice little story here that needs fleshing out. Another said that my story rambled a lot.

So, I decided that before I forged ahead on finishing my last story, I would try to conduct a little "self seminar" to try to tune myself up. Who knows maybe I need a book called, "A Tune Up For Wanna Be Writers"? :)

Suggestions please?

Hugs

Gwendolyn

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My knees ain't wot they used t' be

Okay folks, I'll keep this short and sweet ...

As usual, I have good news and bad news. The bad news first to get it out of the way ...

The pain from my neuralgia has flared up again and the doc's doubled my dose. Carbamazepine can cause drowsiness, so if it has any side effects on me, then I'll have to give up my car - bummer. I really love driving, despite the accident.

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The Luck Of The Damned

Whoo, boy!

Well, in the last month or so things have been cah-RAY-zee for me.

About 25 days ago I turned in my two week's notice at my job at the hotel. I'd just, well, I'd had enough of everything, and of being stuck where I was, and so I decided to push the issue and set myself a date to move back home -- Monday, the fifth of September.

Thinking ahead, I decided to go ahead and fill out an application or two online ahead of time so I'd already have some prospects brewing before the end of my time at the hotel.

This is where things got weird.

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one of my friends at work got hurt last night

One of the few people at work who is kind enough to call me Dorothy got hurt last night. She's been struggling with back pain the last couple of days (She missed Sunday night because of it), and I guess her back went out again, and she went home halfway through the shift. I hope she'll be okay.

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My Aunt Passed.

So I just need to get this off my chest, because I absolutely loved her. My Aunt Sandi just passed about 5 minutes ago, unfortunately I wasn't able to say my goodbyes, but I am going up to Washington to attend the funeral this weekend. She has spent the past 20 some odd years battling cancer and tonight it finally won, when she was first diagnosed they gave her 6 months to live and she put up the fight of a lifetime, I am grateful I was able to spend time with such a wonderful woman.

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Feeling better, and about "The Big Mall"

Well, I'm feeling a touch better today. I'm trying to not look too far ahead, nor worry about the stuff beyond my control, and that's helping.

Meanwhile, I wanted to take a sec and talk about "The Big Mall". Its one of those stories that had a life of its own. My original idea was simple - a woman like me meets the Wizard,, little bit of magic, and a satisfying ending. But my lead character had her own ideas as to what she needed, and finally I had to concede to her wishes. I think it worked out rather well, dont you?

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Almost the end...

This is the formal end of our journey into a possible future, although there’s a tiny epilogue still to come, already written, which will be posted at about this time tomorrow. This ‘last’ chapter is a long one, 15,000 words or so, but the epilogue is very handily short, so they shouldn’t be too dreary if one thinks of them as a unit.

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All fine now... and coming to California!

Hello, Everyone! My heart is singing - once, because the Surgeon did his work well and it's all running smoothly now.... and twice, because I'm well enough to make a first visit to California....... This Friday, arriving at L.A.'s Hollywood Heights Hotel - I hope to audition (joking!) for "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert 2" - oh! if only!!

Love you all! xx Ginger

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Just Say No....To suicide

There seems to be some "controversy" and concern regarding "Fade to Black," especially the concern for the author. In reality we who are transgendered are more prone to violence, including that which is self inflicted. If you're even thinking about ending it all please make a pledge that you won't. I thank G-d every time I remember those who have made that pledge to me. The violence against us is bad enough without adding to it.

shalimar

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Re: Wren Phoenix

I just wanted to take a few minutes to let people know the Wren Phoenix is in the hospital and having surgery, I am not sure how long they will be keeping her there but for those that know her it would be nice if you send her a message to let her know that she has friends here that are thinking about her. She can't login to the bigcloset at the moment because of the firewall at the hospital but I sent her a list of web proxies and maybe using one of those she will be able to access the site but either way I am sure she would like to hear from all her friends here at Bigcloset.

Cain129

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Beyogi, Darkice, Slicersv, Anyone! Help, need input!

Fellow beings, Hello. As you may or may not have noticed, i'm a little behind on part 5 of Magnetic Personality. this is more or less because i paid little attention to hard science in school and more attention to science fiction and comic books. well... I've really been trying to understand the fundamental science involved... I've wiki-ed, I've Googled and even asked Jeeves... the basics are making for brain aneurysms in my poor button head, but i want to be fair to those who have, well despised (smiles) my lack of scientific knowledge.

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My little SRU story is nearly ready

I'm just about ready to publish my little SRU story. Its very different (I think) than anything that has been done in that universe. I rather hope you like it.

By the way, I want to say I'm really proud of all the people who commented on "Justice?" We got a good range of opinions, all well thought out, and yet stayed civil with each other as each person stated our views. Well done, one and all.

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Why cant I just be ME?

For those of you that don't know, Let me start off by stating that I am part of the "AgePlay" or "Littles" or to segregate even more, "LG" and even "AB" communities. For those that don't know, LG stands for Little Girl, or is sometimes known as ALG = Adult Little Girl. AB on the other hand, stands for "Adult Baby".

Within the Age-play/Littles/LG community there are many segregations like LG, for those that feel older than Toddler aged, and generally don't have a need for "padding".

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12-String: Ch-ch-ch-changes

So, I've finally let one of the people I know in the real world read 12-String. I respect his opinion, and for some reason I can't quite fathom, thinks I might actually be 'good enough.'

We'll have to see, but in the short term that means that I will be making a different form of the first eleven chapters for publishing.

By different, I mean that I will be altering my references to Sarah.

This is in no way meant as a slight to Megan or her story. It is simply a fact of what can work on it's own, and what can't.

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