Well, I tried to get Kittyhawk 11 done in time to post today, but didn't quite make it. I got inspired from my dream and wrote a lot on it this week, which took a lot of time away from Kittyhawk. Oh well, I shouldn't have any trouble getting it out next week, at least.

Jacqui doesn't know who she is until she sees what she does. Realizing that is one of the keys to understanding Jacqui's story.

She is put into a strange situation, which quickly becomes very stressful, and is given a new identity, which she doesn't really understand. It's one thing to play at crossdressing, as John had done, it's quite another to actually live as a woman, as anyone who has tried will tell you.

I know that my update schedule (or lack thereof) sometimes causes people to forget things that happened or to get some details mixed around.

I can relate.

I have noticed that the new Final Fantasy computer game uses the image of a very pretty blonde girl which bears a mosr striking likeness to Kim Petra, Germany's youngest M-F Trans-Sexual who is only 16.

I’ve been reading stories on this site and others for about three years now and finally decided to become a member. I’d love too even post my own stories if I thought they were good enough, or even finished for that matter. What took me so long to join, and even get the courage to write this is fear. Which is probably silly really. I cross dress at home. And I’m extremely lucky that my wife accepts it so well. She even buys clothes for me when she’s out shopping for herself.

Okay folks, part V of Jacqui is up. And it's a meaty one. So far, Jacqui's life has been pretty sheltered (though hardly uneventful), but now is the big event, a date with a guy. How does a t-girl react?

In this case, it's life changing.

If you like to understand the characters you read about, this is a chapter you'll love. How does a crossdresser decide she might be a (transsexual) woman, or, simply a guy with a feminine side who loves to dress? It's journey we all take by different routes, and we all end up in different places. Here is one journey you can begin to savor.

Completely off-topic, but it may be of interest to Anglophiles...

Google have released a giant update to the UK street view coverage (the panoramic photos taken from Opal Astras with funky camera gear on top), taking it from a few major cities and patchy coverage elsewhere, to (they claim) 96% of UK roads.

Here's a few highlights, (inevitably) from Land's End to John O'Groats, plus a few extra locations thrown in for good measure.

This is just a short video blurb, Her Name Was Steven and here are some 'iReport' messages Transgender messages

I saw a story about the law in Uganda that calls for putting Gays and Lesbians to death. It talked about the group of American evangelicals who have gone over there and incited people to use vigilante tactics to hunt down and kill anyone thought to be Gay and Lesbian. They showed the crowd films with Gay porn and worked the crowds into a frenzy . I sincerely hope the U.S State Department and the U.N take some kind of action to prevent this open call for genocide.

I've finally managed to get a letter about women's cycling in the Guardian; sadly it's not in a place accessible from the internet (being in letters and emails in the sport section)it was accompanied by a picture of Bradley Wiggins.

Last Wednesday was my 45th birthday.

At 12:30 in the morning, after saying goodbye in the chat room, I went into my closet to get my breast forms, and I grabbed a form that was wrapped in plastic wrap. I looked at it and said, "what?" and the light bulb caption above my head turned on as I realized these were my old forms, they had developed a leak and I had wrapped them in plastic whilst waiting for the replacements, and had not thrown them out.

I saw a magazine headline today that said that Angelina Jolie has begun raising her daughter Shiloh as a boy. There was a picture of her in boys clothes with a boy's haircut. It said that Angelina now calls Shiloh, John. I wonder if this is actually true or if the tabloids are just creating a story where there isn't one? If the child is really transgendered than I can see it, but if it is another one of Jolie's moments of insanity, then I hope something is done to stop her.

Well, I am as dressed as I can be, waiting to go to my counsiling session tonight. My mood is all over the place, as I am nervous, frustrated that I cant be more feminine, and looking forward to it all at once.

My first reaction when I come onto the Home Page is:

One of my stories (Boys Will Be Boys, Chapter 1), has reached 100 votes! SQUEEE!!! *happy dance* Thanks to everyone who voted on it, and all of my other stories! Chapter 2 isn't even close to that high, but I'm too happy about getting a hundred to worry about it!

::::: Doing Happy Dance ::::: (to the tune "Dance of the elephants"

You folks are probably getting tired of me, but I use the blog to remind me I'm working on Transition.

I've now lost 70 (that's SEVENTY!!!) pounds since January first. I've now reached 33% of the weight I HAVE to lose before hormones, before surgery. I just KNEW I was going to not have made it this week. My mom's 75th birthday, (awww I shoulda lost 75) was this weekend, and I had CHOCOLATE cake with frosting on Saturday. I was prepared to not have lost any this week, and I'm down another 5 pounds this week!!!

I've just made an interesting discovery about my Word 2007, Windows Explorer, and Asstr.org.

I used to be able to easily delete files in Word, and I could easily find the file path. Now, I can't. I also used to be able to locate files very easily in Windows Explorer, and now I notice that there are some files that I can see In "Recent Documents" in Word 2007 that I can not find with Windows Explorer, and that leads me to suspect that they are in actuality "Links" to those files. I have opened a couple of them and watched Word, go to the internet and download those files from ASSTR.org.

English Punctuation Skills

I was wondering if we have any girls who have any experience with the Cleveland, Ohio area. I could be accompanying a girlfriend (she's GG) out there to be with her as her room mate for a school year as she finishes her Masters Degree.

A friend of mine has started up a TG website if anyone is interested in checking it out
http://rhonda7.proboards.com/index.cgi

I've spent the better part of the last two days lost in remembrance of those I loved who are gone. My parents, my best friend ever, Mikey, John Denver, Mary Travers, Mamma Cass, Karen Carpenter, KimEm, and so many others.

Memories. They come as comfort and pain together, wrapped in smiles and tears, heartbreak and wonderment. I've lost or left so many friends, in so many places that I cannot recall some of them. Imagine that. People who I called friends and was called friend by them...and I can't remember their names...or even their faces. Yet I miss them, one and all.

For some reason, Yoho! is down. THAT is where I have arcived my stories. That means that until fixed, I cant acces my stories,

What is it about maid stories that so attracts us? If you search on Big Closet, there are over 30 pages of maid stores. On FM there are nearly 1,200 maid stories, and on storysite, nearly 1,000.

Whatever the attraction, we seem to love 'em. Lots of us seem to want to be them.

I was in Target shopping store today looking at birthday cards for my mother's birthday when I saw the perfect one for female transsexuals. It said "When I was growing up I always wanted be like you" and open it up and it says "Happy Birthday mom and I still want to be like you".

Hugs,

JennaFL

Hi everyone. Putting a lot of time in writing some novels, but had enough time to run off another chapter of WHY ME on my site.
http://tanyastales.yolasite.com/wip--why-me.php

OK, here's the latest example of "World gone mad"...

Police in the US state of New Jersey have ordered a family to cover up their snow sculpture of the famous nude Venus de Milo after a neighbour complained.

Eliza Gonzalez sculpted the snow-woman with her son and daughter on her front lawn in Rahway following a snowstorm.

Many people praised their creation, but a police officer told them a neighbour had found it too risque, she said.

When given the option of covering the sculpture up or knocking it down, she dressed it in a bikini top and sarong.

I thought I would pass on an update for anybody who is following my progress. I am in counsiling with 2 different groups. One is a support group run by my local hospital, and is very general in nature. It covers my job hunt, my gender struggle, and just how I am doing over all. The other is from the sexual assault center and is mostly focused on my rape, although my gender issues are going to play there too. Both groups have no problem calling me dorothy, and I am going dressed to my next session at the sexual assault center. I am rather looking forward to that.

I just came across this article on mtv.com:

'Harry Potter' Star Daniel Radcliffe Is 'Passionate About' The Trevor Project
'Now I am in a position where I can help,' actor says of supporting LGBTQ help line.

http://www.mtv.com/movies/news/articles/1632811/story.jhtml

Kris

So I sent this letter off to my parents, not really expecting a reply.

http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/blog/18347/so-i-sent-letter-pa...

Well, I get up today, ready to go run errands and while I'm throwing a braid in and getting ready for a little bicycling odyssey my mom calls. I was unsure whether to answer. After a moment's hesitation I answered.

You could have knocked me over with a feather. She says "Well, we got your letter."

"And?"

This was a headline this morning on my computer sign-in-screen! Richard

03-03-2010 04:24 AM PST |By JESSICA GRESKO, Associated Press Writer
WASHINGTON (Associated Press) --
Same-sex couples can start applying for marriage licenses Wednesday in Washington.

Supporters say couples planned to line up before the city's marriage bureau opened at 8:30 a.m., and officials at the courthouse were expecting 200 or more people.

At least 16 couples were waiting at 7:15 a.m. inside the city's Moultrie courthouse, which houses the marriage bureau and is just blocks from the U.S. Capitol.

I just logged on and Unlucky at Cards by Dawn DeWiner popped up on the solos list. This is a very funny story, something pretty rare in our genre.

Read it and laugh!

I promiced I would write a bit more about my faith. I strongly suspect that my grandmother was the one who convinced my mom to send me to christian camp. But whatever the reason, faith became a big componant in my life. I am not sure I could do justice to what it means to me to someone who doesnt believe, but I needed that sense that somehow, in some way, there was plan, and I was included. That Someone beyond myself, greater than myself, was in charge, and He actuallly cared about me. When I found whosoever prays, it was, as it were, an answer to prayer in itself.

No excuses....

I was reading some of the recent blogs and I realized something. I was feeling much lighter. A great weight had been lifted from my shoulders, and I didn't even notice it.

Ran across this site today in my surfing. Think they're talking about us?

http://www.lambdaliterary.com/trans/02/25/is-there-or-should...

Hugs

Grover

I just mailed this letter to my parents. I figure it's my birthday, why not?

I don’t know how to say this, so I’ll just get right to it. Mom, Dad, I am a transsexual. I am transitioning from male to female now and should have done so 25 years ago at least. I debated bothering with telling you, I know that I am dead to you per your religion and have been for 23 years. You disapprove of me for simply being gay, so I’m pretty sure you’ll think this is worse. I actually wish I were just gay, it would have made things so much easier.

Well, since people refuse to write this blog for me, I guess I am stuck doing it, giggle. So I wanted to talk about my little piece "The talk" for a second. This one came to me as a, er, erotic dream. Which is weird for me, because normaly I don't dream of boys. Its got me wondering a bit about dorothy's orientation, giggle. Fortunatly for my readers, I toned it down from R rated to PG. If you havent noticed by now, I am not one for a lot of graphic descriptions in any case. Besides, I think the reader can fill in the blanks just fine, dont you?

You may recall a few weeks ago, I mentioned a daft weekend project of mine, to slowly produce chapter summaries for a certain story featuring characters with the unlikely names of Cathy Watts, Stella Cameron and Simon Cameron. Not forgetting Tom Agnew, Mima, Trish, Livvie, Danny, Billy, and Julie - together with appearances by Leon and his mum, Pippa and her sons, the lab technicians Neal and Gloria, Simon's father Henry and his other half Monica, several dozen other humans, and a dormouse by the name of Spike.

After a sleepless night (up at 1AM and couldn't get back to sleep) I was picked up at 6AM for the trip to the VA hospital in Buffalo N.Y. It snowed all the way there, sometimes reducing visibility to less than 100 feet. The roads, even the interstate, were not good at all, and we saw many cars and trucks off the road in the ditches.

I saw this today in the paper... interesting to say the least.
http://www.prodigalsonsfilm.com/drupal/index.php
"Prodigal Sons is a remarkable study of family and identity, of what it means to love and be loved, of how much human dignity can be found in surprising places. It is made with elegance and passion and a searing honesty that can very nearly break one's heart."

Looking at this blog, I realize I have only scimmed the surface, hitting the highlights. But I am not sure where to go from here, so I am leaving what to fill in with you readers. What's missing? What are you curious about? I of course will include any breaking news as it happens, but I hope I can satisfy any questions you folks might have.

By the time I was writing "The saga of E-girl", I was desperate to figure out exactly who and what I was. I realized I had to face fully the demons inside me. That would have been all but impossible, except I was getting support from others. I finaly plucked up my courage and published it here, and was overwhelmed by the positive responce. Thanks to that support I have made a commitment to getting whole. I have finally admited to myself what I want - I want to be female. I am in counsiling through my local hospital, and am seeing a rape counsilor as well.

I just got my 60 day notice to, "TERMINATE TENANCY"

for having been, over the last few weeks, ungrateful, forgetful, and just generally, a bitch. I can only plead a plate seemingly overfull of everything from my own health, personal problems, other's troubles, and many other things.