Autobiographical

Meeting tomboys

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Went out for lunch with my mom, and got a chance to talk with the waitress, and she was telling me about being a tomboy for a long time, and then surprising her male friends when she decided to get girly for a group that had come back from Afghanistan.

Its kind of funny, how many really pretty girls prefer to be super tom-boys, at least for some time in their lives, while I would have given just about anything for the privilege of being prettied up for a dance or whatever.

Ah, well.

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Tilting at Airconditioners Squires 3

Tolerating Bullies has become a planetary epidemic.

Submitted by Misha Nova on Thu, 2012/10/25 - 2:14pm. This is a repeat of what is posted at Baily's Squires 3

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What I want and What I am

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One of the novels I love the most in life is Les Miserables. I've read both books, the abridged and unabridged, saw the play on Broadway (which is the only place to see a Broadway play), owned the cd, watched the pbs special from O2, and take a lot at any movie that comes out (one is due on Christmas).

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A things that make you go hmm moment, anybody remember that?

Work thing this week. Alright last week was super crappy. This week is ok. My idiot store manager is going out of his way to talk about neutral topics with me like his football team (Cowboys suck) isn't doing well, and insists on shaking my hand when he comes in. The harassment issue might be resolving itself, the grapevine says my manager is shopping me to a new store that I had put in for a transfer too some months ago. That would kinda solve all the problems I would move districts and have no interaction with anyone involved in the issue.

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Nasty bots

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I have been attacked by a nasty little bot that tried to steal my e-mail account. Unfortunately, my 'password reset'e-mail address is wrong, in that I presciently wrote 'mal' instead of 'mail'. I now have a new e-mail address, so those who have been contacting me through it will need a swap. PM me here for details. I will send it out to the usual suspects.

Arsebollocks

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feeling very lonely

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I dont want to sound like I dont appreciate my online friends, but I really wish I had a girlfriend I could go out for a coffee with. Its my day off work, and I really feel lonely, and there isn't a lot I can do about it.

Ah, well.

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Male role models

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To the people who believe that you can be cured of a condition like being transgender, a big part of that is based on the idea that the environment a child grows up in makes the difference in terms of how secure they feel in their birth gender.

For example, they would look at my life, and the lack of any decent male role models, and then sexual abuse by a male on top of that, and conclude that this lack caused me to hate my gender, enough to want to become female instead.

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Important Topics to discuss with my Therapist ASAP

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She told me that in order for her to write a recommendation to a doctor, we need to have a good deep discussion about my gender identity? Does anyone have any suggestions for topics I should think about my answers to before hand and bring up with her on Wednesday.

I feel I should point out that I've been seeing her for a while, and that she said we were going to discuss more about my being transgendered.

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Little Katie Laid to Rest

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I will no longer be going by the moniker of Little Katie. Since I keep my transsexualism a secret, I think it is hypocritical of me to refer to myself by that name. Besides, when I came up with the nickname over a decade ago, I did not realize that it would be associated with a certain sub-set which I am not privy to.

Thank you.

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Having a "I am nine years old" kind of day

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I've been having a lot of flashbacks lately, and its got me thinking about a story I wrote called "I am nine years old"

Here is a link, if you havent read it:

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Being treated like a woman

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In the last couple of days, I've had a couple of different people at different stores treat me like a woman, and it feels really good when it happens.

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saw my family doctor today

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Well, I just got back from seeing my family doctor, and things are finally moving forward again. He'd been waiting for the results of my bloodwork, and with that now arrived, he faxed everything to the gender specialist, and I go on to the next step, trying to lose the weight.

He's sent information to a medically supervised program, and when they get back to me, I can really get going on it. Not going to be easy, because he wants me to lose around 50 pounds, but with determination and perseverance, I can make it.

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Cycling with the boys.

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Last Sunday I went out with the 'big-boys' for the usual Sunday morning club ride. Nothing unusual except I was wearing some rather sexy lingerie under my winter cycling Lycra which tends to be heavier and thicker than the lightweight summer kit. The boys do know about me but usually I cycle with the second string group who comprise older men, most of the fitter ladies and me, Bev ...
However last Sunday by an unusual quirk only about 12 people turned up at 10 am so we decided to all go together.

"You up for this Shirley, Bev, Liz?" Asks Spot, the club captain.

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Awkward Moments In Gender Presentation

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I'm sure that nearly everyone here is familiar with the uncomfortable feeling of having to put up with your gender presentation and physical sex not matching exactly at one point or another. For me, it's a problem I used to have a lot.

Then I got fat again.

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Update on Close Call For Me

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The cops actually think they have the guy who tried to get into my car! Nothing is positive yet, but they told me that the hospital called, it's routine with unusual injuries, I guess, anyway, they have some clown in custody who showed up with three broken fingers and a dislocated thumb. I guess he didn't let go fast enough when I peeled out of the parking space. There is no proof that he's actually the one, and I didn't get a long enough, good enough look at him when it happened.

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Becoming a better writer

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When I first started posting stories, oh so many years ago, I thought I had a pretty good hand on my writing. I figured that I knew what I was doing, I had a college degree, was well read, and had been dabbling in writing since I was eight.

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As if I needed the lesson hammered home

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Yesterday I talked about being in the company of another trans girl suffering with a lack of confidence in her looks, despite the fact she is really good looking, and last night, it was like God decided to drive the point home to me.

I sat with some other girls at work on our lunch break, and listened as one talked about her struggles with her appearance, and how even now as an adult she sometimes finds it an issue.

And this is a genetic girl and a rather pretty one at that telling this story.

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An important message for all here at Top Shelf

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I've been online for over ten years now. From the very beginning it amazed me that the level of acceptance and compassion was as high as it was, and is.

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052) My Possible Newly Invented Topical Anesthetic

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So I'm going to be needing to do permanent hair removal, electrolysis, to my face. This is supposed to be EXTREMELY painful... I've been holding off on really looking into getting started on it partially because of the cost of the procedure itself when done professionally, and partially because of the added cost of getting myself anesthetized beforehand.

There are products out there for around $20 that can do at-home galvanic electrolysis, so that's not really a big problem if I can just get up the gumption to DIY it...

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Alone again, naturally!

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Yesterday I came home for work, my roommate was up and about (sort of weird for her, she normally sleeps until noon). She told me she was going out for the day and would be back in the evening to help me with Sunday papers. I told her cool, but she wasn't obligated (I appreciate the help, but every time she comes she has the look like it is utter torture).

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The story of my running for president of my high school

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Since I mentioned it yesterday, I might as well tell the story of how I came to run for president of the student council in high school.

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I've become a ditzy ex-cheerleader

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I have become a ditz. I don't know if I should blame the hormones because some of the ditziness occurred before I started taking it, but I'll blame it anyway because that's what ditzes do. Unfortunately, the following stories are true:

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Of Bots and Chat Requests

             
Hi, everyone, it's Bobbie C.

Been getting some Messenger List requests on my Yahoo Messenger (for chatting, et cetera) but the addresses look suspiciously like bot addresses.   Can I make a request? If you wanna chat, please send a personal message here at BCTS, so I know your YM request is legit?

So if I should deny your Add Request, please don't take offense - it's because I don't recognize the address.

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Jim Sandusky Sentenced

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For those of you who havent heard yet, Jim Sandusky, the former assistant coach of the Pen State has been sentenced to between 30 and 60 years in prison for molesting young boys.

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Smart stupid cat

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My orange cat has found something new to do to annoy me. She already mastered the art of shitting on the floor if I don't empty her litter pan fast enough, jumping on me and then groomer herself while I sleep, and destroying blinds if I leave her in the house alone without a way out or without a way of finding me to do number 2 on this list.

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Sorry about that.

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Recently I made a post that was pretty down. I am getting better, working with my GT helps, but still it creeps up on me sometimes. If I made anyone nervous I apologize, overall many of you are better friends than I have in life.

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The Family Girl #048: Saying goodbye - Life lessons

 
The Family Girl Blogs
(aka "The New Working Girl Blogs")

Blog #48: Saying goodbye: Life lessons from a dead friend

To see all of Bobbie's Family Girl Blogs, click on this link:
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/28818/family-girl-blogs

I knew someone - someone from work who I thought of as a friend, but she probably didn't.   She was a pretty brunette, very popular, super smart, outgoing, lots of friends and very ambitious (but in the good sense of the word).  I didn't know her too well, really, and despite having met her face-to-face just a few times, I liked her a lot, and I thought of her as a friend, like I said.   I just hope that she remembered me in the same way, although I think that was a futile hope, given how many people she knew.

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Learned something from an old memory

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I was reading this book about a woman who has a breakdown on my breaks at work, and it got me thinking about visiting my brother in the mental ward when we were both kids.

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I'm harmless?

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Well, last night at work, we were sharing some stories about our respective childhoods, and I talked about snapping and almost killing my stepfather, ending with the statement "I'm dangerous."

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I dont know what to do now

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I phoned the doctor's office about the stuff they were supposed to send to the gender specialist, and they dont have any record of the stuff at all. Nothing in my file except I came in for a full work-up, nothing else.

I honestly dont know what to do now.

My best option I think is to get the stuff from the gender doc again, go to a different doctor and go through the whole thing again, but considering I suffered a week of flashbacks after the last time, I would rather not.

This.... sucks.

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Looking for an endocrinologist near columbus

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Does anyone happen to know an endocrinologist that might be covered by UHC in the Columbus area, looking for a referral?

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