Autobiographical

SRS Diaries - Part 2 - Surgery Day Minus 1

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I'm writing this about two weeks post-surgery. I hope it's useful to some.

Read previous entry here.

Morning came, and with my ablutions done I went to the reception, having gotten impatient in waiting for Jano. On the way down the elevator I saw a man who looked like he was Thai, dressed in semi-formal garb with long sleeved striped polo and slacks. “Konnichiwa,” he said to me, thinking I was Japanese. Hmm, who was that guy? I just smiled since it’s not that uncommon I get mistaken for a Korean or Japanese in my early 20s. Must be my orange hair, eyeliner, and semi-pigtails. Mostly my fashion sense is a mix of Hong Kong and Japanese style, and a little young for my actual age of 28, but that’s just how I am. Being a managing partner of our own multimedia firm and marketing communications lead in my day job gives me certain liberties in my fashion sense. Getting to the reception area at the 3rd floor of the hospital, I quickly got registered and found out that my surgery date had been bumped up by one day, so instead of two days later I was having it the next day. Yay! But that also means we have one remaining day to finish our project.

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SRS Diaries - Part 1 - Departure and Arrival in Bangkok

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I'm already 14 days post-surgery, but I thought I might as well post from the day I left my country and arrived in Bangkok. It might be of interest to some.

S Day Minus 2 - Oh my GGG–! PANIC MODE!
"Damn it, why haven't you started packing?" I screamed at Z, my boyfriend and partner of three years.

"I’ll be fine. Some shorts, shirts–it’ll be quick," he shrugged nonchalantly. "How many clips to go?"

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A new kitty

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Much to my surprise, I have a new kitty; the runt of the litter. She is yellow, with white tufts of hair. She has what look sort of like pixie wings just behind her front shoulders; hence the name Pixie. At 10 weeks old she is so tiny! She's sleeping inside my top right now, under my pull over dress, but over my T shirt, that says,"Run Like A Girl". Right now, I am fantasizing about being preggers. :) I am carrying the baby reall high right now. It will be months until I deliver her.

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Cops and US Marshalls at my door

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So I get home this morning after slaving for the man. Delivering papers is harder than people would think (and I have one unaccounted for, damn it). My roommate tells me that about 5 cop cars were at the house at 5 a.m. All the cops asked was if she had called 911 and if she was alone. I have no idea what that was about, but me and the Tampa Police Department is like a marriage that ended in a nasty murder/suicide (Really, really, really bad). So, outside of worrying that the cops are out to fuck with me again, I don't know if there is anything to worry about.

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Hi - n - Hello

           
Hi, everyone, it's Bobbie C, just saying a quick hi-n-hello!   Hope everyone's having a good time and being nice to each other. And hi to all my friends in BCTS - won't mention names, but you all know who you are :)  

And I also just wanted to say I and my family are doing super-fine as well, so don't any of you worry about me.

See you all later!  

p.s.   I am cookin up something pretty big for BCTS, hopefully in time for Christmas. Wish me luck!  

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The Story of My Curls!

Sorry, but I'm really excited about this...

Last Saturday, I got a "bonused" secret shop... It's a shop that needed to get done LONG time ago, so they offered a BONUS to just get it done.

I hopped at the chance, and got my bangs cut :)

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Curls, Girls, Curls (Poem)

So I went to write my narrative (for my secret shop today), and out came this instead....

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Fighting back against my black mood

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Well, after I vented here, I decided that I wanted to start to figure out how I could break my mood, and I started with reading a very funny book while waiting for Sam to get off the bus.

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The further misadventures of a transsexual paper girl

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I finally figured out my life, I have all the answers, its so simple that it was easily overlooked and I could just shoot myself for not realizing it early. Unbeknownst to me, I am starring in my own sitcom. Of course I don't hear the laugh track or the theme music because I live this sitcom pre-edit (and with as much as I am cursing lately, it certainly needs to be edited unless I am airing on HBO or Comedy Central). This has to be the truth, because nothing else can possible explain the bizarre, asinine situations I find myself in.

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Anger

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Last night, my daughter couldn't find the little communication book she's supposed to bring home from school, but didnt admit it until we were picking up her mother. Her mother was upset, and I promised to check at my house, and I thought it was over with.

Then this morning, her mother called and started yelling at my mother for Sam not having the book, and then my mom started coming down on me for not being responsible and involved with my daughter, and I ended up getting angry myself, yelled at Sam's mother, and went back to bed.

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cute stuff from my daughter

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Well, I picked up my daughter today, and she was all excited about learning how to make a cake in her cooking class.

I said, "If only you were as pumped about learning multiplication"

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Life's a bitch and then you cry.

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Life is what happens in between making plans and actualising them. Families are collections of random lunatics the universe throws together because they share some genetic material, friends are people we like.

My daughter got married last week, she went with her partner to New York and they got spliced in Central park. I've seen some photos and it looked really nice. It also means I've not seen either of my children get married. They did it for all sorts of reasons, the trip to New York, but part of it, rightly or wrongly, I suspect is to avoid having to explain me.

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Heart attack.

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On August 26, I suffered a heart attack, which I did not recognize as one as it had none of signs. Just a stiffness in the chest which I thought was part of the bronchitis I thought I had. I called the EMT on the 30 because of shortness of breath. I was sitting in the ER waiting to them to discharge me when the doctor came and told me they thought I had a heart attack. The next week they took all kinds of tests, found that the valves were good, most of it was viable the only area was the small area in the middle bottom of the heart which was gone.

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Shift Happens Part 2 More Please

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It would seam that a mischievous Crow spirit named Murphy has had a bit of fun at my expense. I had just put the finishing touches to Part 2 last night and was going to send it off for editing this morning. When I got ready I installed my SD chip and received the message the chip had died taking the story with it.

So there will be a short delay while I reconstruct my original work from my copious notes including an Idea I had a SB napkin to write it on.

Sorry things will get better.
Misha Nova

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What a difference a day makes?

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When I had applied to work at Wal-Mart, I had sent applications to all the locations in Edmonton and area, and it was the St. Albert location that called me, interviewed me, and hired me.

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My plan backfired

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Sometimes, I get ideas in my head and I say to myself, I say "Keith," Keith is the name I was given at birth and the one I generally go by outside of online (otherwise known as real life), "this is brilliant and sure to work. Your problems will be solved and you can go on to whatever next big thing is on the horizon."

So, a few months ago, I hatched a plan. I saw how it was suppose to play out, and, like most things, I planned to see it through.

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Hair Styles Help!

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Does anyone know hairstyles well?
I'm looking for a medium-long length style that is slightly feminine, but could pass for androgynous and would be appropriate for work.
Also what would I would need to ask for such as perm, ect, and about how much will it cost?

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Giving advice

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Well, last night I got to work a little early, and there was a teen girl who works as a cashier on the evening shift in the back on a break who decided completely out of the blue that I was just the right person to ask for advice about a boy at school.

I listened, and thought, and then gave her my advice:

Be yourself.

Be awesome, be real, be smart, be goofy, be nerdy, be super feminine or a tomboy when the mood strikes you.

Dont try and impress him.Try and impress yourself.

Dont be afraid to take the first move but be prepared that he could reject you.

Be okay with that.

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being able to take a compliment

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Got a couple of compliments last night at work on my pretty new earrings, and I didnt do what I used to do - deflect them, instead I just thanked the people making them.

Its nice to be complimented, but its even nicer to be able to take a compliment and not immediately think of reasons why it cant be true.

Another step forward, I think.

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Dreams of losing my daughter

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Well, last night I was very sick and called it in at work so I could stay home. Now I almost wish I had gone to work instead, because last night I had nasty nightmares of losing my daughter.

In both dreams, she ran ahead of me in circumstances where I couldnt immediately follow, and I was left running around unfamiliar places trying to find her, and failing.

I know its just dreams, but it really shook me up, and the further into this transition I go, the more likely it seems that they will come true in a way.

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Overcome with grief

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I became estranged from my family on Dec 23, 2004. I don't know whose Idea it was but recently I wrote a letter to my youngest daughter and her husband refused to take delivery, saying she did not want it. I took the loss of the family very hard and some of you will recall that I was hospitalized a half dozen times, tried suicide twice and spent 3 years on some very heavy psych drugs.

The last two years have been the happiest days of my life, until I wrote that letter.

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Reconciliation - at least in fiction

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I just finished writing a story in which a slightly fictionalized version of me goes back to her hometown to re-connect with the people she left behind, and to lay ghosts to rest.

In the process, as I wrote a scene where she reconciled with her step-father, I felt a weight lift from me, as if I had managed to do the same in real life.

Maybe it was just fiction, but somehow, it felt like I actually accomplished something.

Make of that what you will.

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family is important

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My Brother has died and we can be grateful for his release from misery. News of my daughter is better; she definitely does not have MS but something less threatening; they now have to find what that is. We breathe easier now.

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If you're struggling with me being a girl (Posted on FB)

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Just posted this on facebook where my sister-in-law follows my post:

If you are one of the people who are either conflicted or opposed to my transition, I'd like to tell you a few things.

First, Bless you.

You could have easily decided to just cut me out, have nothing more to do with me, but you're sticking around, and that's an amazing thing.

I'm going to assume you care, or you'd be gone, so let me try to explain the biggest thing about this transition.

I'm a better person for doing this.

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New Earrings

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Well, this Saturday I went to a pot-luck, and the host had a little gift for me - a new set of earrings. So now, instead of wearing studs, I'm wearing a pretty set of earrings that have a heart-shaped stone.

Looks and feels good, you know?

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Snap, Crackle and Pop?

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Snap, crackle and pop may be good sounds to hear in your breakfast cereal, but not so much when its your body making it.

Yesterday, I noticed that my left shoulder makes some ugly noises when I try and rotate the arm, and things only seemed to spread from there.

First it went to my neck, actually causing me pain when I tried to stretch at work, and then my knees started doing it too, almost blinding me with pain.

Thank God for painkillers, but I'd prefer to have not too many days like that if there is a better choice.

Ah, well.

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Working retail blows! But not this weekend.

Woohoo!!! I am off the whole weekend! We are now fully staffed no more 12 hour days. Woohoo!!! Did I say that already. The family will be gone during the day on both Saturday and Sunday. Woohoo!!! Blessed peace and quiet me time. I want to work on some story ideas to post and take lots of naps! Woohoo!!!

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Made a good impression at work last night

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Well, last night we had a new manager (dont know it this is a permanent thing or temporary) and I managed to make a good impression with my speed, my flexibility,, and my willingness to jump in wherever needed.

Then this afternoon I overslept and had to really hurry to get to pick up Sam on time and not ONCE did I berate myself, which would be the norm before. Instead I just did my best, and she was there just before I got there and everything was fine.

I think I'm starting to get some traction, and its all due to liking the person I see in the mirror, both physically and otherwise.

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050) Current Events in the Abiverse

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So it's been a while since I last blogged. Again. Nothing's really changed for the most part recently, even if life ain't the best, when it's all much the same, not much point in repeating myself, is there? Anyhoo. So what's up?

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What's up doc!

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So I went in to see my GP for some allergy relief (yes your teenaged son is allergic to grass not just a type of grass, all grass.) and he said he needed to get an update on all my particulars. Break here for background info.

Most Hispanic males are short. I on the other hand tipped the chart at 5’10” upper scale of height for my ethnic group. Hello all you shorties down there. That was the height on my license at sixteen that was the height I had always been right, right. Back to the doctors office.

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When the heck did I start looking so good?

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Went out for coffee with a friend yesterday, and caught sight of a pretty woman while outside looking in.

Then realized, the pretty woman was me.

I looked good.

When the heck did that happen? When did I start looking so good?

I've even noticed my walk is more feminine now, and its not like I spend a lot of time practising. It just ... happened.

I dont think I've ever been happier, and it wouldn't have happened without the amazing support I've recieved from "team Dorothy."

Thank you. Thanks and beyond thanks.

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Need advice

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I kinda need advice right now.

See, since all the recent flashbacks, I uncovered some new memories, and now I have this urge to tell them to someone, as a way of getting them out.

But I'm not sure about publishing them here, as many people have had enough of their own nightmares that they dont need mine as well.

Would you recommend publishing, or not?

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