First night this winter it actually got below freezing here and my furnace went out at 10 p.m. last night. I didn't get to sleep until the dog got under the covers with me about 2 a.m. because SHE was cold.

Got the repairman outside looking at it now, if it's an electrical problem, he should have it fixed soon. If it's the heat exchanger, well, that furnace is old enough to have run for president against John McCain. Third party ticket though, so no hope of winning.

Got to take Cuddles to her eye checkup in an hour, looking forward to the heater in the Nissan.

So I've been keeping everyone up to date and just maybe I can help people who are kind of in the same situation as I am. I came out to everyone, and I mean everyone. Were my problems solved? No. I find that my emotions are all over the place as I enter a world where I am no longer wearing the mask of my male self, a person who didn't really exist except for the comfort of others who tried to label me male.

Happy New Year everybody, may 2013 bring you all happiness and the life you want as your true selves.

Everyone is posting pictures, I'll give it a try. I am still in male mode, but this is week 3 of HRT for me. Changes from the current photo include new studs (time to train my ears don't you know) and I am mostly wearing womans jeans now, like anyone but me can tell the difference.

They finally decided to give us Christmas vacation at work, after telling us repeatedly it wasn't happening. Good enough, I needed the down time.

This is me and my boy around 2004, he is the only reason I am still here.

Well, right now, I'm plodding away at "Jake goes for help". Its a really tough story for me, for obvious reasons, so I can only do so much and then I need a break from it. But I'm hoping to have Chapter 4 finished by the start of the new year, and my basic outline has maybe 2 chapters thereafter before the story ends. I have tentatively planned to have a flashback chapter as a totally separate chapter, so those who would have trouble dealing with such things can skip it without missing much of the story.

Recently I saw an add about a local church which said they would accept anyone, so I emailed and described my transgender status and said I was looking for a church where I could attend and not hide my true nature.

Here is the reply:

Patricia,

Everyone if you are so inclined a RL friend of Wren's has posted a bit about her in this blog Her friends name is Jessica, and I thank her for telling us a little bit more about our dear friend. Hugs, Jenn.

As everyone who has been following my blogs lately knows, an old friend from high school has come back into my life and is living with me along with his fiance while they get back on their feet. In doing so, I had to sacrifice my life as Katie, mainly out of fear at how they would react to the fact that I was really a girl and had deceived him when I was in high school. I was willing to make that sacrifice. I wasn't thrilled about it, but I was willing. I deleted all my bookmarks that would have given any clue to my true nature.

Merry Christmas to my BCTS family.

So, astonishment of astonishments, my Son now talks to me and has opened a "Dropbox" account, and wants me to put my picies in it so that the rest of the family can see me, and I asked him if he really wanted to do that, and he said that he had seen me on his visit last summer and not found me repulsive, so I should put my photos on Dropbox. GASP !

O K it is 2 days before Christmas so I would like to wish my BCTS family a very Happy Holiday and A very Good New Year to come
Hugs & Kisses may you all have happiness and peace :-) RICHIE2

Well the holiday rush is upon us and as usual, it's been a bit hectic fitting in all that needs to be done. But the gift shopping is all done. We finished it up yesterday. One of the things that needed to be fit in was practice for the Christmas concert that my wife will be singing in. That and she needed a new outfit to wear for the concert. The dress code called for Red and/or black.

Daniel is the artist on the webcomics I work on, Quillian and Sam Valentine. He's also a sculptor of some skill. He did these beautiful little figurines of the characters Alistair and Zook from the strip I write and draw myself, Alistair2Zook. Click on the image to go to the (partial) online archive of the strip.

I guess 2012 wasn't done with being extremely shitty.

This is odd and I don't know why I'm the only one who has realized that its happened.

And I feel fiiiiiiiiinnnnnnneeeeeee

Today I am celebrating my 7th Birthday as a legal woman. I remember that day well. I got up that morning and felt like a weight had been lifted. I dressed in my red skirtsuit heels, hose, blonde wig and did my makeup and then drove to the courthouse for my name change hearing. Standing there hearing the bailiff call me by my male name, knowing how I looked, was a little nerve wracking. The best look I got was from our family attorney who was there representing another client. It was priceless!

It has happened again, so maybe it's time to stop thinking that it is a coincidence. This is the second time in 2 weeks and it still gives me hope that I can pass.

I turned 55 today.

I lost my voice at work last night. Even swallowing hurt. I'm hoping this goes away soon ....

I really do try to keep on top of my writing. You can ask those part of team WAM that I normally stick to my schedule. BUt I am too heart broken to even try tonight. How can I not weep for the loss of innocence today? I have always been emotional, always quick to shed a tear, but some things just break my hear more than I can bear.

So, Monday evening I was studying a book with three other women. We found the material quite interesting and I felt a bit overwhelmed and slightly emotional about it.

I really don't know what's wrong with me. I wish I knew, really I did. It's the fact that I know who I am, I know what I am, but still I hide it from the world and even from myself.