In the last couple of days, I've had a couple of different people at different stores treat me like a woman, and it feels really good when it happens.

Well, I just got back from seeing my family doctor, and things are finally moving forward again. He'd been waiting for the results of my bloodwork, and with that now arrived, he faxed everything to the gender specialist, and I go on to the next step, trying to lose the weight.

He's sent information to a medically supervised program, and when they get back to me, I can really get going on it. Not going to be easy, because he wants me to lose around 50 pounds, but with determination and perseverance, I can make it.

It all ties into the same thing really...

The cops actually think they have the guy who tried to get into my car! Nothing is positive yet, but they told me that the hospital called, it's routine with unusual injuries, I guess, anyway, they have some clown in custody who showed up with three broken fingers and a dislocated thumb. I guess he didn't let go fast enough when I peeled out of the parking space. There is no proof that he's actually the one, and I didn't get a long enough, good enough look at him when it happened.

When I first started posting stories, oh so many years ago, I thought I had a pretty good hand on my writing. I figured that I knew what I was doing, I had a college degree, was well read, and had been dabbling in writing since I was eight.

I've been online for over ten years now. From the very beginning it amazed me that the level of acceptance and compassion was as high as it was, and is.

so anyway …

Yesterday I came home for work, my roommate was up and about (sort of weird for her, she normally sleeps until noon). She told me she was going out for the day and would be back in the evening to help me with Sunday papers. I told her cool, but she wasn't obligated (I appreciate the help, but every time she comes she has the look like it is utter torture).

There is an elephant in my room. A big, smelly elephant leaving droppings all over the place, but I dont want to see it.

My orange cat has found something new to do to annoy me. She already mastered the art of shitting on the floor if I don't empty her litter pan fast enough, jumping on me and then groomer herself while I sleep, and destroying blinds if I leave her in the house alone without a way out or without a way of finding me to do number 2 on this list.

my appointment is in just 2 hours

One of my co-workers told me I'm kind of an ambassador, which I kinda struggled with as a concept.

The Family Girl Blogs (aka "The New Working Girl Blogs") Blog #48: Saying goodbye: Life lessons from a dead friend To see all of Bobbie's Family Girl Blogs, click on this link: http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/28818/family-girl-blogs

I knew someone - someone from work who I thought of as a friend, but she probably didn't.   She was a pretty brunette, very popular, super smart, outgoing, lots of friends and very ambitious (but in the good sense of the word).  I didn't know her too well, really, and despite having met her face-to-face just a few times, I liked her a lot, and I thought of her as a friend, like I said.   I just hope that she remembered me in the same way, although I think that was a futile hope, given how many people she knew.

Well, last night at work, we were sharing some stories about our respective childhoods, and I talked about snapping and almost killing my stepfather, ending with the statement "I'm dangerous."

I feel i should have started with this question.

I phoned the doctor's office about the stuff they were supposed to send to the gender specialist, and they dont have any record of the stuff at all. Nothing in my file except I came in for a full work-up, nothing else.

I honestly dont know what to do now.

My best option I think is to get the stuff from the gender doc again, go to a different doctor and go through the whole thing again, but considering I suffered a week of flashbacks after the last time, I would rather not.

This.... sucks.

Dark, Darker, Darkest?

That seems to be where my muse is coming from at the moment, with 3 ideas in my head that seem to range from dark, to darker, to darkest.

Ah, well.

I'm writing this 3 weeks after surgery.

Read previous entry here.

September 11 - Surgery Day

"Have you said goodbye to it?" Z asked.

I sighed. "Why do you keep asking me that? I’m not attached to it. Well, um, physically but not mentally."

"Yeah but don't you–it's just–" he shivered as he kind of held his own crotch protectively. I laughed at this and reassured him that I'd be very happy to have it gone, even though much of the tissue would still be there, just, rearranged.

I see the gender doc tomorrow, and for some reason, I'm nervous. It will be the first time I see him since I got my exam, and since my family doc wants me to lose weight, I'm not sure what's going to happen.

Ah, well.

I've been around... off and on... But, there have been some bumps in the road.

Finding the positive:

Here is my day, with a positive spin.

I worked very hard last night at work (I have a job, and they dont care if I'm transitioning)

so anyway …

I'm writing this about two weeks post-surgery. I hope it's useful to some.

Read previous entry here.

Morning came, and with my ablutions done I went to the reception, having gotten impatient in waiting for Jano. On the way down the elevator I saw a man who looked like he was Thai, dressed in semi-formal garb with long sleeved striped polo and slacks. “Konnichiwa,” he said to me, thinking I was Japanese. Hmm, who was that guy? I just smiled since it’s not that uncommon I get mistaken for a Korean or Japanese in my early 20s. Must be my orange hair, eyeliner, and semi-pigtails. Mostly my fashion sense is a mix of Hong Kong and Japanese style, and a little young for my actual age of 28, but that’s just how I am. Being a managing partner of our own multimedia firm and marketing communications lead in my day job gives me certain liberties in my fashion sense. Getting to the reception area at the 3rd floor of the hospital, I quickly got registered and found out that my surgery date had been bumped up by one day, so instead of two days later I was having it the next day. Yay! But that also means we have one remaining day to finish our project.