SWEAT AND TEARS DRAMATIS PERSONAE

Been fighting with harassing phone calls from my mother's creditors. I really never knew how bad things were until she started ducking calls. It worries me greatly, but there is little i can do to help. I might as well share with you my secret plans - I had planed to take out a loan so i could get a transition started, but now its moot. Because we shared back accounts, I doubt i could get one. It was a long shot anyway, but ah, well. Dreams die hard, but they can die.

I got to work tonight and turned on my laptop just like I do every night and when I look at the screen it is totally blank. I've tried a couple things and low and behold nada. Fortunately the computer is still working, and if I stare intently at the screen I can make out a faint outline of what is appearing on the screen of my laptop. I planned on replacing it later this year, but not right now. Unfortunately I also need it this weekend.

I hate unexpected expenses.

Edit changed black to blank.

I'm hoping that everyone is enjoying this little tale of mine. OK so it won't end up to be so little.

I'm just gratified that there seem to be so many readers. I didn't expect that many actual people reading this story. Partly because as someone said to me "Historical tales don't get that many readers on this site"

I'm hoping to post a new part every week, so that will give you an idea of when to check back for a new part.

mittfh has the right idea I just didn't know the scientific names for those terms, both physical and mental. I'm happy that someone did though.

I can't believe that I finally got to the point where I can say I transitioned a month ago.Christmas Eve I gave myself my transition as a Christmas gift. I hadn't planned it in fact I was going to transition over spring break after I had obtained a legal name change.I went to my therapist the day before and she said why don't you just transition? So I asked myself why don't I just transition?

This morning's Observer had an article by the Readers' Editor referring to comments received on an article about David/Sonia Burgess. Burgess, a civil rights lawyer, was allegedly murdered by being pushed under a London Underground train last year and a trial is shortly to take place. The comments were concerned with how the paper referred to to her/him. It was quite difficult because sometimes Burgess lived as a male (David) or female (Sonia) and had friends in each persona but, apparently, few in both.

The other night, the ABC program, "Primetime: What Would You Do?" had a segment regarding gender stereotyping. In the segment, the producers sent actors playing a father and a young son into a toy store, where the boy is to choose a Barbie doll and the father is to argue with him. The object was to see what the reactions would be of bystanders in the store. The exercise was then escalated with a third actor playing a hostile man berating the "father." A third iteration involved boys wearing dresses in the store.

I had a nice, hot shower earlier tonight. I’m trying out a new deep conditioner that takes five minutes to set, in addition to my usual washing routine, so I had a lot of time to stand there in the steam and let my mind wander.

One of my favorite online writers has started posting a new book at his website: http://www.spearfishlaketales.com/17gm/gm.htm

The name of the book is, "The Girl in the Mirror" and you can probably make some guesses based on the book teaser below.

Wes has published some really good books online and self published. As far as I know this is his first that deals with a tg theme.

Thank you all for the wonderful responses you gave me. They really made me feel a bit better about things. As for some of the issues you listed and possible solutions let me address them.

I need the help of readers!

What do I need help with, you ask? Well, to start with, in writing the second semester of "Princess For Hire" I've decided that there's no better way to do it than to as for suggestions of what you, the readers might want. Do you like a particular secondary character and would like them to play a larger role? Or perhaps you'd like more information on a portion of the school or program that you don't think I've been forthcoming enough with? Let me know! The more suggestions, the longer the second semester will be, and the more rich for it.

In case.... for those that missed it.... good news... a quote from her post

SAPPHIRE'S PLACE

First I want to give a HUGE thanks to Nora! The first I got any info
was when she called me on the phone!

The domain reg had expired, and since the last time I had to renew
it, I got the " 10 year" package, and I lost track of time ( and got
NO NOTICE from Network Solutions! )

Looking over the info the registrant info they have, it seems they
sent the renewal notice to Mindy! ( for those with LONG memories,
they might remember that FM/Mindy hosted the site long ago - well

This is actually semi-T* related for two reasons.

1) I need to get in shape because I live a very unhealthy lifestyle, and that flat out needs to change if I'm ever going to move forward.

2) My calves are huge! :-(

Just so everyone knows, I have changed my name from Kayla Smith to Samantha Jenkins. I feel that Samantha fits me better than Kayla (and not to mention that since my Zodiac sign changed to a sign that fits me better than Cancer (Now I'm a Gemini) I figure that I should change my name to match how I feel when I'm dressed up.)

Samantha

A friend sent this to me and I thought some of you might get a giggle out of it.

What Religion is Your Bra?

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said,
"I'd like to buy a bra for my wife. "

"What type of bra?" asked the clerk.

"Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?"

"Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable.

I was just on Sapphire's Place reading some stories and suddenly got a domain expired page. Does anyone know if Sapphire is going to renew the domain or if she needs any financial assistance to renew the domain?

Well, after a rotten day yesterday, I had a fantastic day today. I went for a interview with a local tg group, and we were meeting at a restaurant. I got there first, and the server was taking me to a booth, and i tried to tell her I would prefer a table, but she didnt hear me at first. But another server heard me, and told my server "SHE would like a booth" It is amazing, what a single letter can do for one's confidence.

I was wondering what happened to saphire's place?

An article in today's paper said that Swiss Bank UBC was revising its dress code. Currently, bankers are required to wear skin colored underwear, refrain from eating garlic and wear a watch because it signals "trustworthiness and a concern for punctuality". The code tells women how to apply makeup and what color stockings are acceptable.

I wonder if a crossdressing banker could get away with a skin colored bra when they line up the employees for morning underwear inspection?

Hi, It's been a while, but I've written a new story, this time using Open Office. My problem is that I've got permission to use a picture taken from Flickr with the title, and I'd like the title to be in a suitable nice font. Could someone please help me to get this done? It may sound lazy if I ask to send them everything and they produce the end product for me, but if they explain how its done, I can maybe do it myself next time.

With many thanks in anticipation,

Bronwen Welsh

I've been working on several legal documents, namely: a Will, a Health Proxy and a Power Of Attorney. Those I can afford. I've been putting off my name change because of the costs and another matter that concerns only me and one other nameless person. The matter between me and that person seems to be settled, and I am proceeding with the name change because... I've been informed that our local Legal Aid thingie will not only fill out the paperwork for me, but they can also get the fees waived due to my financial status... one step below poor.

I have just discovered DocsToGo for my iPhone, and it is an incredibly useful app.

It enables me to edit MS Word files on my iPhone and then synchronise them with my computer, so I can now write on the train or in a cafe, or even in bed at 3 am (my most creative time). Unlike a laptop, unless people get very close, it is completely private. Sure, typing is not that fast on the iPhone, but it's fast enough for my brain. And you can always tidy it up when you transfer it to your computer. It even handles password protected files - another important feature for me.

Hi Everybody! (*waits for everyone to reply, "Hi Dr. Nick"....*)

This is just a little note...

I recently wrote a software module/addon for eFiction (the software that runs TGFiction.Net) called ePubVersion that allows a user/visitor to download on-the-fly created .ePub eBooks of your favorite stories.

Well, I had a wonderful lunch date with my friend from the support group site, and noticed several things. First, when I arrived, I did not have much hesitation, but simply thought, "I have as much right to go and have lunch as any other woman does" and went in.

The lunch itself was nice, especially when a little old lady noticed my wallet had fallen out, and pointed it out to me, telling me to tuck it better in my purse, like there was nothing strange about me at all.

In 2005, when I came out, the Doctors said I had a condition called Hirsuitism (excessive hair), and it seems related to a genetic disorder mostly seen in females. I spent $7,000 getting almost all of it removed with a Laser, and it has been wonderful. However, since then, either owing to the Laser work, or to my use of Estrogen, my skin is more tender than most women I know. I can only tolerate certain fabrics and certainly not Nylon or Latex, either in gloves or "play wear". When I sweat, I don't get really wet, but my body really reacts to the salt, or acid (?) and I itch like crazy.

Well, I am trying to keep my anxiety levels down, as I have not yet heard a reply from my brother. It may be because he just isnt the compulsive email checker i am, or it may be because he and his wife are away for the weekend, or it may be because the email account I sent it to is an old one of his wife's and not something they worry about any more. It is also possible he did get it, and is thinking about how to reply. But I have determined for myself, that should I not hear anything by next weekend, I will print out a hard copy of the letter, and put it in his mailbox.

I wanted to share a letter I have written to my brother.

Dear Mike:

Well, I am feeling better, and my daughter is a big reason why. Yesterday, an online friend of mine and I were talking when my daughter decided she wanted to say hi. After my friend accidentally called me Samantha's mother, she decided to feel out my girl on the subject of gender roles. My daughter made two points. The first was "my dad would like to be a mom" and "he would still be the same person if he did" Smart kid, especially considering she is a ten-year-old with learning disabilities.

http://www.outfrontcolorado.com/blog/?p=11354

A transgender woman was found apparently stabbed to death in her downtown Minneapolis apartment on Monday. Chrissie Bates, 45, is Minneapolis’ first homicide victim of 2011. A concerned family member called building management and asked them to check on Chrissy, which is when the employee found Chrissy and called 911.

I'm not sure what I can say about this. The nature v. nurture argument pops up in many areas of discussion of human behavior and identity. Following is an example of personal anecdotes (and photos) of gay men and women and their earliest evidence of being... different.

Presented without further comment:

http://borngaybornthisway.blogspot.com/

Particularly those of you who have stories at Crystal's.

This only vaguely has anything to do with anything more than I'm frustrated and decided to vent here rather than there.

There of course being the name for the inside of the old freezer I keep the bodies in...

any hoo

So years ago I played Magic the Gathering with my little brother.

My next story was going to be a Mattie story but frankly every chance that I've tried to write it I just can't seem to come up with a thing for it. So I'm going to put the story on hold for a while and move onto something else. I've got a couple more ideas, I'm not sure which one is going to come first though.

Just a quick little warning. I am going to discuss some tough subjects so take care reading

The final article I came across today was about Nepal listing Transgender as an official sex when it comes to their census. I could wish that the U.S. would do the same.

Nepal

Hugs,

Connie

Found this to be a very good article. Typical range of comments.

Transgender vets want military access for own

Hugs,

Connie

Good Evening!

If you want to see a goal that Susan Hurst would love to score, have a look at this. Its been nominated in Fifa's goal of the year award.

Glentoran star striker Matty Burrows should be proud of himself.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzAZTdyOXcA

Hugs
Sue

A super article in today's Observer Review.

At 5.30pm on BBC Radio 4 today the iPM programme was particularly interesting to the trans community. Presenter, Eddie Mair, was talking to a former beautician called Penny, who specialises in helping transexuals with their appearance.

Recently an author asked if her writing sucked. Since writing is such a personal journey let's make that "Do I suck?"

Every author on Big Closet should look at Sue Brown's latest story . . . the second book of Football Girl.

It is as good as there is on BC. Yet, her latest chapter which was posted over two weeks ago has "only" attracted 1,475 hits, 88 kudos and 14 comments.

Many, many stories attract two to three thousand hits within the first two weeks of posting.

So just a quick update on the college front, since I promised a few of you I'd keep you posted when I knew something.

Essentially, I'm going to wait until the summer to start classes. I know this sounds like a cop-out, or that I'm backing out again, but really, it's not, and I actually owe you guys for it not being so for once :-)

Due to Illness the next chapter of 300 Rains is postponed. This last week I have been quite sick and often too tired to read, let alone write. So I have done no editing and very little reading and I am still plan on crashing early. I think it is safe to say that I have slept 30-32 hours of the last 48 and it was comparable the 48 prior to that. Next week I should have a chapter ready for you all. Sorry and take care.

Heather