I think I'd Never Look Back

Author’s note: This is based on "I think I’d have a heart attack", which you can find a version of here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xR0HrrIXjBk

I always had my defences up
never could admit who I was
because if I ever did that
I know I could never look back

Always knew that I had to hide
Always had to try to be a guy
Never talk about what I want
Even though it made life so tough

Scorpius hosts a funeral, like none other.

Meanwhile, Violin and John must come to terms with their mutual past and present, in the hopes of salvaging their future.

CHAPTER 30
It started quietly, but it gathered speed as it continued. Bob didn’t say anything, but I caught little hints in the pubs and when I visited his place. The odd snide remark, almost always from the younger drinkers; the bit of broken glass he’d missed picking up from his carpet. It was harder to miss the dog shit smeared over his street door, though. His float was kept at the dairy overnight, so they couldn’t get at it, but I soon realised that it was a steady and concerted campaign.

Story under construction.

I see a camera flash and I see one of the school paper people I think and they’re taking pictures of me and Katherine and Jenn and Cindy and Alex and I look at him when he turns my way a gain and do a little friendly hand wave and he snaps a picture and I do a few funny faces for him too which he seems to like.

He turns his attention to the others and I stop to watch Alex.

Yeah as much as he’s not into football he is too and he’s good at it, it’s just not all of what he’s about.

But yeah I love the way he looks doing this stuff even…especially when he’s doing that wet hair thing when his helmet comes off.

Dammit woman…just do it! I’m yelling mentally at myself and it’s still scary hard but almost like I can’t help it and I end up nodding yes.
Ryan smiles but y’know there’s something else there too, it’s in his eyes that he kind of gets it.
And that’s nice…it helps a lot as he comes around and gets my door and we head to the movie place and we start checking out what’s playing and where to go and there’s a lot of stuff playing and just for fun he takes me to go see “Muppets Most Wanted.”

Out and just for fun with a big thing of popcorn to share and a medium root beer and doing this.
Fun’s been a long time from now.
And when they’re opening almost right away with a musical I’m already smiling.
I missed fun.

I just want to say that I rarely am capable of writing much. This is also the only place I feel I can share some of my feelings because I can't deal with how the few friends or family I have would act seeing some of the feelings I keep hidden away from them.

ps: that Ø symbol is from math, it represents an empty set. it just felt like a way for me to say "No Hope" without using the word no, or empty or lack of. I know, I'm weird.

Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, is a young and abused Black boy with Asperger's syndrome, and is hated by his guardians, the Dursleys. A little over a week before his birthday, he discovers that he is also a wizard, and the Dursleys knew all along. Not only is he a wizard, but he's also famous in the wizarding world! An AU fanfic.

(Transgender character introduced in chapter 7)

"Harry Potter and the Trouble With Neurotypicals"

By = Fayanora

“I dunno man,” Keith moans as we fight together on a virtual battlefield. “I just feel that I should be there, you know? I mean, it is MY child…”

“It’s your decision,” I say. “You know Charlotte would love to have you there, it’s just whether or not you could stand being in the same room as her for a prolonged period of time…”

“You know, it’s funny,” Keith sighs. “For all she did… I do still love her.”

“PLEASE tell me you’re not going to crawling back to her…” I moan as I take a swig of my full-fat coke.