I think I'd Never Look Back

Author’s note: This is based on "I think I’d have a heart attack", which you can find a version of here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xR0HrrIXjBk

I always had my defences up
never could admit who I was
because if I ever did that
I know I could never look back

Always knew that I had to hide
Always had to try to be a guy
Never talk about what I want
Even though it made life so tough

Pretended I didn’t care
that they took my girl doll
and cut my hair
though inside I felt the fall

Inside I always felt like a girl
wanted to paint my nails and wear high heels
knew if I gave in that things would soon get out of hand

Must keep up the show
I cover up, won't let it show
So I'm put my defenses up
Cause I don't wanna be found out
If I ever did that, I think I'd never look back
I think I'd never look back

Never could really be like other guys
but cant tell the truth, I’m paralyzed
And every time I want to be myself
It comes out wrong like a cry for help

It's just not fair
assigned me a sex at my birth
I gasp for air
and everyday it only hurts

Inside I always felt like a girl
wanted to paint my nails and wear perfume
knew if I gave in that things would soon get out of hand

Must keep up the show
I cover up, won't let it show
So I'm put my defenses up
Cause I don't wanna be found out
If I ever did that, I think I'd never look back
I think I'd never look back

The feelings got lost in my lungs
They're burning, I'd rather be numb
And there's no one else to blame
So scared I'll take off and run
I'm flying too close to the sun
And I'll burst into flames

Must keep up the show
I cover up, won't let it show
So I'm put my defenses up
Cause I don't wanna be found out
If I ever did that, I think I'd never look back

I think I’d never look back
I think I’d never look back
I think I’d never look back ...

guess what I never looked back!