The Story's the Thing!

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The Story’s the Thing!

I’m a writer.

I’m not super-famous like Grishim or King, but there’s a good chance you’ve seen one of my books in the paperback section. Based on my royalties, quite a few of you have bought one - “for a friend” maybe, because I’m not the kind of author people seem happy to admit they read.

I’ll take the money regardless.

Anyway, today I was just freewheeling, throwing ideas up into the air and seeing which ones land, and since I’m a nice guy I thought I might share the process with my readers, so I’m typing this out as I think it - no edits, no corrections, whatever comes, comes.

So first, I was thinking about writing itself, and what it does to a person. See, I kinda disappear from the world when I write. No one and nothing gets between me and my story when its flowing, you know what I mean?

I like to say that the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders could come in here, drop trou and sing “Two, four, six eight, we sure like to masturbate” and I wouldn’t stop writing to watch.

So anyway, I better see what kind of story I want to write so I can keep collecting those super nice royalties that keep me in beer and bad girlfriends. I seem to have a habit for picking some winners, maybe because any decent woman would take one look at the disaster I live in and run the other way.

I’m usually better off buying my female companions - at least that’s a more honest relationship.

Now, where was I? Oh yes, a story. First, we need a main character. We need a guy the reader can be reasonably comfortable with. He cant be a goody-goody, but he cant be a total asshole either, unless he then gets what’s coming to him.

So whose our main character? Well, why not a writer? Hay, if Steven Fricking King can write about a writer who is suspiciously like him, basically jerk off in public and get paid for it, why cant I?

So our main character is like me, that’s fine. What can we have happen to him? Well, its been a while since I did anything kinda spooky, so why not say he gets cursed? Yeh, that works, a curse is always a winner.

A curse from .... A Goddess!

Oh wow, that’s good, that way the publisher has an excuse to put some bikini babe on the cover, that kind of thing helps sales at the bus terminals.

So we got a curse from a goddess, what kind of curse should it be? Old buddy Steve-O there made a mint having a guy get cursed to lose weight, which doesnt sound very scary to me, but what do I know?

So what curse? What could this guy-like-me lose that would really scare him?

What about his manhood?

Oh .. . that might work, the curse slowly turns him into a chick!

Now I got a lot of filler to make, so we have to set up the scene - big time writer .... maybe he goes on holiday to some South American jungle and ends up doing something to offend some local goddess, so she sends him home with a little present ...

Yeh, I was just down in Peru, I can flesh those jungle bits out no problem!

So he comes home, thinking everything is hunky-dory, and he doesnt realize he’s been cursed. But slowly, ever so slowly, he gets more and more like a girl, at least in his looks. So at first, maybe he loses the hair on his arms, legs, and chest, and finds he doesnt need to shave as often. He doesnt really notice, he’s in the writing zone I talked about earlier, and nothing short of WWIII would have the slightest chance of making him even look up.

So by the time he notices something wrong, he’s pretty far gone, and the first person he goes to for help is the county doctor who ... was also an ex-girlfriend!

Yah!

My ex Sarah is a doc, so that works nicely. I can use her as my template. She’s one of the few who I really would go to if something weird was going on with me. No doubt she’d make a few funny remarks about me learning a thing or two about the fairer sex, maybe offer to take me bra shopping, but once I convinced her I was serious, she’d be all business.

So then what? Well, she’d run a bunch of tests, and then somehow they would stumble on to the curse - maybe the guy brought back some cursed Inca thing. I bought some knock off ring off a guide while I was down there, I can use that as my model, that will do fine.

So they figure out about the curse, they do some searching and some phone calls, and they find out he has to return the ring before he has his first period or be stuck as a chick for life. So then its a race, to get back the ring on time.

To make this exciting for the reader, when he gets there, it turns out that this was planned by a rival of his, who is now determined to stop him from being able to get the ring back to the right spot on time.

They have a big fight outside a temple, the doctor ex clocks the bad guy, allowing the writer to go in and go to the right spot with minutes to spare. Finally, there will be a big wrap-up with the doctor ex and the writer getting back together and living happily ever after. A romantic end works great with the chicks, that will help sales a bit.

Ahhh, what the heck am I thinking, this would never sell!

Geez, look at the clock I’ve been at this for hours, and now I got nothing to show for it.

Ah well, not every day can be a winner. I need to stretch ...

Holy cats It happened!

I got boobs!

(click. Ring, ring ...)

"Sarah! Help me ..."

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Comments

What happens if you

piggy-back clichés?

Nice one.

Susie

not sure Susie

But a writer, writing about a writer who is writing a story about a writer might just disappear up her own existence or something ....

Thanks for the comment.

Dorothycolleen, member of Bailey's Angels

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Love IT,

Had to read this twice, fully start to finish.

I needed the laughter. Such a delightful Plot.

Do we get MORE?????????

Yours,

Olivea in SUGARTown

thanks, Olivea

More? I dont know. The way my muse goes you just cant tell anything for sure.

Thanks for the comment.

Dorothycolleen, member of Bailey's Angels

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Cursed by a goddess?

It wasn't Venus, was it?

It's a delightful tale. I really enjoyed it.

thanks, Ray

Venus? probably not, since he said it was an Inca goddess.

Thanks for commenting, I'm glad you liked it.

Dorothycolleen, member of Bailey's Angels

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being polite, Moongoddess?

so how does "neener neener" fit into that?

Thanks, Diana.

Dorothycolleen, member of Bailey's Angels

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Curses, foiled again...

As long as it'll turn me into a woman, you can curse me anytime, Di. *wink*

(and if you curse me into someone who can return the favor, even better...)

Cute story, Dorothy. I liked that.

Lisa

thnaks, Lisa

put me down for a "curse" like that myself.

Dorothycolleen, member of Bailey's Angels

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Cursed Cursing in Cursive

Hon, if I had that ability, I'd be "cursing" a lot of people here.

Maybe even a few who didn't want it.

No, probably not, just been reading too much about that wizard in the bathrobe. *smirk*

Lisa

(I'd definitely rank getting so "cursed" higher than winning the lottery...)

Existence...

How dare you play with reality, we all might end up being affected!... Oh no no I can't see my feet for the bosoms growing on my formerly masculine chest. I spent much time smiling broadly and winking at persons not even present... good one

Draflow

thank you Draflow

I half expected to see a pair of bosoms on me, the way that story was pulling into itself.

Glad you liked it, and thanks for commenting.

Dorothycolleen, member of Bailey's Angels

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Better than me...

Well you're certainly more committed than I am. I would have taken a break to watch the cheerleaders for a few minutes.


The girl in me...
She's always there and she's often distracted.

Distracted, Lora?

Me, I never get ... hey! Did you see a shiny nickel?

Thanks for the comment.

Dorothycolleen, member of Bailey's Angels

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Gee, Lora, It's not that hard at all....

Andrea Lena's picture

...while I might share viewing cheerleaders with you, I can assure you it isn't hard to be committed. After all, I should have been committed a long time ago!


Dio vi benedica tutti
Con grande amore e di affetto
Andrea Lena

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

committed, 'Drea?

I thought you already were .... just kidding, sis!

Dorothycolleen, member of Bailey's Angels

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Committed?

I keep telling people I should be locked up, and they keep telling me I'm crazy.


The girl in me...
She's always there and usually talking to herself.

Apparently no one....

Ever warned the writer about "Tempting Fate"... ;)

--SEPARATOR--

Peace be with you and Blessed be

Peace be with you and Blessed be

Tempting Fate, Loki?

I guess not. Mind you, it sounds like a being a girl might do him some good ..

Thanks for the comment.

Dorothycolleen, member of Bailey's Angels

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The title of your reply is too much....

Wow...

Well, I am Loki, after all *wink* so of course I tempt fate. I dated her for a few decades about three thousands years ago, but no one seems to remember that when they go talking about us pagan goddesses and gods. lol... ^_^

And I agree. It does seem like it could do him a lot of good.

--SEPARATOR--

Peace be with you and Blessed be

Peace be with you and Blessed be

Great story

I really enjoyed the dialogue and style of this conversation with himself - it sounds so very true to life.

The ending caught me by surprise - well done!

true conversation, Charlotte?

I wanted to make it sound realistic, I'm glad you think I succeeded.

Thanks for the comment.

Dorothycolleen, member of Bailey's Angels

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Thanks Dorothy,

ALISON

Another one of your lovely giggles again,loved it.

ALISON

Thank you, Alision

glad I could make you giggle.

Thanks for commenting.

Dorothycolleen, member of Bailey's Angels

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Haha

Cute Dorothy!

Thanks, Cliff

(Curtsies)

Thanks for commenting.

Dorothycolleen, member of Bailey's Angels

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Heh! I bet it was the

Heh!
I bet it was the goddess feeding him that story so he'd know what he had to do to lift the curse.

Thanks, Lexa

Maybe. Or maybe life imitated art?

Thanks for commenting.

Dorothycolleen, member of Bailey's Angels

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Nice plot

Hi Dorothy,

Nice, a plot that is in itself already a story. I am looking forward to the complete story.
What strikes me is that most often a nice guy becomes an even nicer girl. Well, perhaps that is what most of us would like to happen to ourselves and to those we like.
But... The real world is not always nice. And I am sure some bad Inca priest came up with a very mean curse in those old days. Perhaps Mr. Nice Guy slowly becomes some femal monster...a mother in law e.g. LOL

Crazy ideas help to survive crazy days!

Karin

"The complete story"?

I kinda thought this was complete. Based on some of his attitudes towards girls, its a bit of a stretch to call this guy "Mr. Nice Guy" but I like your idea of a nice guy turning into a less-than-nice girl, that might be fun to see.

Dorothycolleen, member of Bailey's Angels

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