Hollywood Secrets - “Nobody’s Perfect”

Well, hello, everyone. I’m Dorothy Colleen, and this is our premier episode of what I hope will be an occasional show, “Hollywood Secrets”, where we will attempt to poke our noses into the deep dark corners of Tinseltown.

Today’s episode is all about a tv show that almost was - “Nobody’s perfect”.

To understand where the project came from, we must go back to the year 1959, and a movie called “Some like it hot.”

Its a pretty well known film, but to quickly summarize the plot, the movie starred Jack Lemmon, and Tony Curtis as two musicians who witness a mob killing and end up hiding out as part of an all girl band.

In the end, Tony Curtis’ Joe gets a beautiful girl (Played by Marilyn Monroe), while Jack Lemmon is forced to reveal his true status to try and fend off a male suitor, who responds with the last line of the movie, which has become one of the most well known quotes in history - “Nobody’s perfect”.

Well, fast forward two years, and the success of the movie led to discussions of a TV show to act as a sequel to the movie, and I have managed to get my hands on the plot for the first proposed season.

The season would open with the two men struggling with the fallout of the events of the movie, and as the season would progress, the audience would see Joe fighting an inexplicable depression that even his new bride couldn’t seem to make any better.

Meanwhile, Jack Lemmon’s character “Jerry” was even worse off. Even though he had managed to shake off his male suitor Osgood, he found himself lonely and aimless, without any purpose.

The season would be filled with various attempts by the guys to shake off their funks, but things would for a while seem like a hopeless downward spiral. But, at the end of the season, just when things would seem the most dark, Joe’s wife Candy realizes that both boys miss their girl time, and getting Osgood to help her, she surprises the boys with a pair of feminine wardrobes. She tells Joe she’d rather be married to a part-time girl than lose her husband for good, and Osgood tells Jerry that no matter what Jerry looks like, he will always be in love with him/her.

The season would end with Osgood and Jerry getting married and Joe and Candy renewing their vows, with both Jerry and Joe in their female attires.

Sadly, commitments by the stars of the movie meant that the TV show would have new actors playing the parts, and that, plus the skittishness of the major networks over a TV show that ended with a gay marriage, caused the TV project to never get off the ground, denying gays, lesbians, and especially trans people the chance to have a role model decades earlier than it would occur.

Of course, its possible that with the changing of the times, the project may yet see the light of day.

Until next time, this has been “Hollywood secrets”, and I, Dorothy Colleen, have been your host.

Goodnight, everybody.

End.