Jake goes for help

For Stef the Cyclist, just cause

Chapter 1 - The first Session

Jake Carstairs buzzed the office of the councilors, and went inside when the door unlocked. He went to the receptionist desk, and told the lady his name.

“Who are you seeing?” she asked.

Jake pulled a piece of paper out of his jeans and read the name.

“Jill. I think.”

“Ah, yes. She’s just about done with her current client. Just have a seat. Would you like some coffee?”

“Sure.”

Jake moved into the waiting area, which was clearly designed to be as relaxing as possible.

There was a coffee service in one corner, and around a nice little table were a group of large, comfortable chairs made of fake leather that one would sink into. Beside the chairs there was a wooden magazines rack with some of the latest issues of such magazines as Time, Sporting Life, and National Geographic in it, as well as a couple of gossip rags. In another corner was a playmat and a large toy-box brimming with all kinds of toys for kids from babies to teens.

Jake made himself a coffee, helped himself to one of the comfy chairs, and then noticed a group of pamphlets on the far wall. He got up and went over to look at them, and they had titles like “Rape and Minorities”, Child Sexual Assault”, “Rape and Gender Variance”, and most intriguing to Jake, there was a pamphlet with the title “Men who have been raped.”

He fingered the pamphlet in its slot, and then picked it out, letting the next copy slide into its place.. He steeled himself to open the pamphlet when he heard his name being called.

He put the pamphlet into his pocket and then turned and looked at a young woman dressed in a sweater and capri pants.

“Hello, My name Jill Masterson. But Please, just call me Jill. Wont you come to my office?”

“Sure.”

Jake followed her, and found himself thinking how much had changed in the last while. Not long ago, being behind a pretty girl would have almost certainly meant his eyes would have gone to her butt, whereas now he just looked to see where she was leading him while staring at the floor.

He wasn’t sure if this was a good thing or not that he wasn’t able to look at her behind.

She took him to a large office that didnt resemble what he imagined a councilor’s office at all, and looked quite homey. It had a small, dark purple couch, not made to lay down on, but perfect to sit comfortably on. It also had a couple of matching chairs, a solid oak computer desk, and a solid wood coffee table, with randomly scattered pieces of paper on it.

He took reluctantly took a seat on the couch, and she sat across from him.

“We have to get a couple of things out of the way before we can really begin. While under most circumstances everything you say is confidential, there are a couple of limitations to that. One is if the abuse of a child is involved or if you’re a danger to yourself or others . In such cases, I have no choice but to send that information to the proper authorities. Do you feel comfortable with this?”

Jake’s nodded his acceptance, even though his head barely moved. .

“All right, Jake. Can I call you Jake?”

Jake nodded again.

“Now, you will have twelve sessions, and I imagine you dont want to waste any time, but today we wont talk about what brings you here. Today we’ll concentrate on making you comfortable.”

“We wont? Why not?” Jake asked in a scared voice.

“Because first, because you have to be able to trust me. So today, I think we will just talk in general about assault, and how it can affect you.”

Jake pulled out the pamphlet with shaking hands and said, “I guess it is a little different for guys.”

“Not really, it can be, so why dont we start with some of those effects.”

The conversation took the whole hour, and he shook her hand as he left. He felt better, even if they hadn’t really talked about what brought him there, and for the first time since.... it happened, he felt like there was some hope of a return of what he had lost.

“Now to see if that hope is enough to save my marriage.” He thought, and started the drive home. He pulled the car up into the driveway of their home. It was at the center of a small quaint cul-de-sac in a quiet neighborhood. He remembered well buying the house all those years ago, how its second story windows looked like eyes giving the impression of a face. The face that seemed to welcome them as they moved in.

Now the once bright green cheerful paint was peeling, the once immaculate white door had a rust mark on it, and the once warm lights almost never turned on leaving the house cold. Not only had the house suffered but the yard was in a similar state. The grass and sidewalk had weeds poking out here and there, the was brown half dead spots in the back. Even the once pretty flower garden his wife had lovingly planted was start to wither and fade.

Jake opened the door that now had a squeak in it.

"Ally" he tentatively asked out loud.

"I'm in the kitchen!"

He walked carefully into the kitchen, and looked at the woman he had courted and married, and sighed.

It had obviously been a tough day for her.

Instead of the immaculate, feminine and sexy outfits she had favored before ... the incident, she was currently in sweat pants and top. When she turned to look at him, he could tell her eyes were puffy and red, with dark circles under them. Not only that, but her hair was uncombed, her nails unpainted, and her face bare of all makeup, even lipstick.

He tentatively approached her, asking, “You okay?”

“Not really. The nightmares....”

“When do you go for your counseling?”

She glances at a calendar on the wall, and says “Uh... Next week. Wednesday.”

He put his hands up, as though he was about to hug her, and then put them down again awkwardly. “Good. I hope it helps.”

She managed a faint smile, and asked, “Speaking of counseling, how was yours?”

“Was okay, I guess. We didnt talk about what happened, but more general stuff about how stuff like that can affect a person. But my councilor seems like a okay person, hopefully, it will help.”

She looked down at the floor, and almost whispered, “I hope so too.”

The rest of the night passed quietly.

******

He woke up the next morning and had gotten into his suit and tie before he remembered he was on stress leave from his work. Without a job to keep him occupied, most days dragged by with agonizing slowness, but he decided to get this day started regardless.

He went from the spare room where he had slept since .... it happened to the main bedroom where his wife slept. She of course, was gone, forced to continue working due to having a less understanding boss than his, and that difference in their circumstances added to his feelings of guilt.

He looked around the master bedroom, which was beginning to show the signs of neglect. The canopy was missing from the king sized bed, his wife’s vanity had a layer of dust on the top and and most of the makeup that used to adorn it has been shoved into a drawer.

Desperate for something to keep him occupied, Jake began gathering the dirty laundry together. He started with his, but decided to add his wife’s as well, to give her a bit of a break. He started stuffing blouses and pants and skirts into the basket, and then grabbed a pile of her socks, bras, and panties and put them in as well.

He paused with his fingers caressing the last pair of panties, remembering seeing her in them while they were dating, and how amazingly sexy she was, only partly because she had been in her underwear, but also because of her confidence, her kindness, the way she just glowed, and knowing he had caused her glow to brighten made it even more incredible.

He found himself wondering if that glow was gone for good.

He finished gathering all the dirty clothes, and took the hamper down the stairs to the basement where the washer was located.

It was an old machine, maybe twenty years old, but it still worked, which was a good thing considering neither of them had enough money to replace it.

He dumped all the clothes into the machine, added a splash of detergent, and closed the lid and turned it on. With that taken care of, he went back up the stairs, and went into the kitchen and poured a bowl of cereal. He went to the fridge, opened up the container of milk, and gave it a sniff, and decided it was far too gone. He threw the container into the sink, and decided to eat the cereal dry. The next thing he was aware of, the buzzer on the washer was ringing, and he trudged down the stairs, pulled the clothes out of the wash and stuffed them into the dryer, and turned it on. He went back upstairs, and into the living room and turned on the TV. He grabbed a blanket and curled up on the couch with replays of last night’s sporting contests being repeated on a half-hour loop, and closed his eyes.

He woke to screaming, and then realized it was him.

He staggered to his feet, went downstairs and took the clothes out of the dryer. He put them in the hamper, and took the upstairs to the master bedroom, where he took what belonged to his wife out, and put them on her dresser in a pile. Then he took his own clothes and took them to the spare bedroom and did the same.

He looked at his watch, and realized his wife would be home in a half-hour, so he went back to the kitchen, pulled a frozen pizza out of the freezer.

The pizza was just about done when his wife Allison came home.

They ate in awkward silence, and then went to their respective rooms, and slept.