The Choice
Well, its time.
For the last year, I’ve been living as a girl thanks to a spell my Aunt Cathy found, and today is the day I have to decide if I want to stay a girl permanently or go back to being a boy.
Its not as easy a call I thought it would be.
When I first started to have an interest in things female, I found a website that contained stories about boys who became girls, so when Aunt Cathy found the spell, it seemed like a no-brainer to me.
But it turns out there’s a reason those stories are called “Fiction”.
In the stories, the guys become these beautiful, often very wealthy girls, with lots of girlfriends and sometimes a special guy or two, and even if they had the opportunity to go back, why would they? And to make it sure that they will stay, most of them had horrible lives as boys, so going back would seem like even a worse idea, even if its possible.
But my girl life turned out to be not much different than my boy life. I had been unexceptional as a guy, and I was the same as a girl - plain, lower middle-class, and just as unpopular as I had been as a boy.
The one drawback mentioned in the stories, having a period, turned out to be less of a big deal than I feared, but on the other hand its not by any definition fun, so if I choose to go back, I certainly wouldnt miss it. The only upside to a period would be to be able to have a baby, and that seems totally unlikely.
Not only do I not have a boyfriend, its not likely to change. It seems I’m destined to be alone, whether I’m a boy or a girl.
My boy life wasnt horrible, and neither is my girl life, its just there doesnt seem to be any real difference between them, no reason to pick the one over the other.
So I’ve decided to flip a coin. Heads, stay a girl, tails, go back to being a boy.
Here goes .....
End
Comments
Ah, the real story comes out.
A dose of realism here. Good job Dorothy. I liked this.
thanks, Joy!
realism was what I was shooting for ....
Grabs coin
grabs coin and checks it.... a double headed coin?
What kind of bloody choice is that?
giggles. I would never cheat like that ....
(tries to look innocent .....)
doesn't by it.
I saw the coin! You cheated!
Lil Jaci giggles as she types a comment on Dottie's reply while she giggles in her room.
Hmmm
interesting concept indeed, however knowing you as I do my child I think the coin bit is just silly....... My daughter will always be my daughter
thanks, Papa.
big hugs from your Kitten
Once again you cut to the
Once again you cut to the very heart of the matter.
I'm in a music-sharing mood tonight.
http://youtu.be/hd0mpv6Bmho
If I have to be alone
Then I should make my mind serene
After all you're born alone, you die alone
You might as well spend every moment in between alone
But if I have to be alone
Then it will be on my own terms
I can never talk about it, ever show it
Even though the world is watching while I squirm alone
And your bleeding heart friends say, "Isn't it sad?"
Then they go make love
While you go insane. Insane!
It drives you mad! Mad!
My mind, I love my mind
And if no one can feel the same
I'm a computer with a name
And I've got no one else to blame
If I have to be alone
And if nobody understands
That special creature that is me
And if they fail to see the me I see
Then no one else knows truly what it is
To be alone
Maybe once in a lifetime you lose your will
Then you can let down your guard
But they cower in fear. In fear.
It makes you ill! Ill!
My heart, my burning heart
And if no one will quench the flame
I'm not obliged to do the same
And then they'll have to share the blame
Because I have to be alone
Because I have to be alone
But I don't want to be alone
sad and moving song
I dont want to be alone either ....
thanks for sharing Nicki
More music. Sometimes you
More music. Sometimes you just feel like being a girl.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5bikCHBp7c
*sigh*
My coin seems to keep landing on it's edge, how's that possible it's not supposed to do that!
*giggles then sighs*
I hope her coin toss works out for the best, whatever that may be.
Seems maybe she should base her decision on something other then external reaction.
Yep, a lot of the stories in this genre are bit "Mary Sue" but that doesn't make the any less good. I also think in some ways such an outcome can quite reasonable considering effect the transformation may have on mind and spirit. I would however welcome few more mediocre heroines who still manage to come out ahead just being unexceptional but their true self.
thanks, Hypatia
I would rather be an unexceptional girl than a above average boy, any day.
Dottie,
Sorry, but I think the story is not so realistic. Life is life. One's life might be boring and lonely; "you can't always get what you want".
The thing that pulls us together, IMHO, is a strong need to be a girl or a womyn. I did lead an unexceptional life as a guy, there were good points and bad points, but I Couldn't Stand It. Living as a womyn was much more important and necessary than having a marginally good job or a few more not very close friends.
I can believe that there are people who don't care which gender they are, but i've never read about them. Your story is about someone like that, but doesn't explain at all why E is like that. We can read your story and try to imagine someone who really doesn't care about sex and gender, but I'm not sure people like that actually exist.
Hugs and Bright Blessings,
Renee
I imagine there are people like this in real life
I imagine there are people so androgynous they really could live as either.
me, I couldnt stand being a guy.
Hugs, and thanks Renee.
What a dilemma. Let's see now, do I stay as a girl or go back
to being a boy. Hmmm, decisions, decisions, what to do, what to do. Okay, I thought it out and it doesn't matter since both lives are the same as far as being alone goes, and just a geeky boy or a plain looking girl. Well, since I am already a girl, I may as well stay as a girl. That is what I would have done in a similar circumstance.
I love the monologue because it was very descriptive. Thank you for sharing Dorothy.
"With confidence and forbearance, we will have the strength to move forward."
Love & hugs,
Barbara
"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."
thanks, Barbara
I'd stay a girl, but I wanted to write about someone who found it a difficult choice to make.
Thanks for the comment!