Vows

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Vows

(First Voice)

When I was just a young child,
you took me by the hand
You said “welcome to the family
It is a rock on which you can stand

No matter where you go
And no matter what you do
You can always be sure
We will be there for you”

But when I came out as transgender
You rejected your own kin
You said don’t darken your door
As long as I continue in such “sin”

(Second Voice)

On our wedding day my dear
We both had taken vows
To love and honour all our lives
Be as close as God allows

Sickness and health would not stop us
Rich or poor we did not care
Thick and thin we promised
For each other to be there

But when I came out as transgender
Your love it turned to hate
You refused to see me
Except to lecture and berate

(Third Voice)

You were my first born baby
In my arms you would lay
I wanted to protect you
And together we would play

You looked at me with such love
And I never did foresee
That you could ever reject
And turn away from me

But when I came out as transgender
To my face you would not look
And when I tried to talk to you
You would hide in a book

(Fourth Voice)

You were my childhood pal
My friend and my brother
Even though we shared no blood
And had a different mother

Friends forever you said to me
And stay so all our days
No matter what would happen
Or what price we would have to pay

But when I came out as transgender
No more my friend you’d be
In fact you now say you hate
And cannot look at me

(All Together)

Yes we came out as transgender
We just wanted to live real
But the price we paid was so high
That we don’t know how to deal

We felt we had no choice
It was death or life
We never meant to hurt those we love
Or cause our families strife

Although we lost so much we loved
We will find a way through
To be ourselves, to live good lives
And to ourselves be true

For now we have each other
New friends to take the vows
We will walk the course together
Together we’ll take the bows

So if you find yourself as transgender
You can join our family today
We will be with you in all you do
Unlike some who turned away

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Comments

I can't believe...

RobertaME's picture

... no one ever commented on this poem. It's so poignient and uplifting to those who have been rejected by the ones who swore to stay with us for always. That there are people out there that will keep the vow.

I was abandoned by my family for seven years after I stopped living a lie for their comfort. It took the near death of my youngest son to get most of my family to face me and see that I wasn't the monster that they thought me to be... but so many of us never get another chance at reconciling with those that abandon their vows of unconditional love.

Thanks for this, Dorothy. It's beautiful!

a lot of us get abandoned

I got very lucky and kept the people most important to me

DogSig.png

This is the 1st time I saw

This is the 1st time I saw this poem. And I guess at least a few people which abandon trans people do it so they're not painted as gay / gay lovers themselves. Other probably accepted the "teaching" that gay is bad very eary in their life (< 10 y) due to parental / peer / relegious preasure. There is probably deep rooted fear / anxiety or even panic for bad consequences involved so the vows are often no more than "nice weather vows / lip service", meaning they're only valid as long as no serious sacrafices have to be made. Unfortunately breaking vows gets more and more common these days: to name a prominent example: the human right to sanctuary is denied at the borders of the EU to people escaping from countries where they have to fear for their lives and health and are "pushed back" violently, sometimes causing their death. So generally vows these days are often not worth the paper on which they're printed.