I am not sure why, but it seems like my social anxiety levels are sky high.

First, I had to fight anxiety off just to go to a store and get help fixing our shower chair, and then today, I was going to go to volunteer at the local food bank (It was something my councilor recommended), but I got so anxious I didn't go.

Sighs ....

I'm back from my counseling appointment, and I am not sure if this is good news, but they want to do a full psych evaluation on me, because they think I'm having problems beyond the ones I'm already on meds for.

So I'm crazier than even I thought ...

Will Drupal take character sets other than western? I can see a "charset=iso-8859-6 - Arabic Alphabet (ISO)", but have no idea how to try it. The project I am working on would have very limited Arabic in it, but not being fluent in HTML or anything else, just don't know if it is worth the effort?

The Character would start out speaking UAE Arabic but when he realized that the other participants in the scene spoke only english switched to english. I think it would add a bit of eye candy and realism to the scene.

It will be some time before I get to that part.

Gwen

I've just woken up in the UK to hear all over the news that David Bowie has died of cancer at the age of 69.
Bowie has been a hero to me.
I just thought some of you would want to know.

Author and story.
this story is told over 3 books
Main character is chased into forest or wood, and is injured.
If memory serves the glamour begins to fail, and he/she finds out that mother is not just a human queen, but also queen of the fea

The way the 'upgrade' is done in David Webers Dahak universe.is an open door, I think, for a tg related storyline. At least I have seen similar plots around ... So I'm wondering if anyone has seen anything,

More info about the verse at:
Webers bibliography
Mutineers Moon (first book in the series)

PS even some stuff in the later Honorverse stories could be used.

The powerball jackpot now stands as close enough to one Billion dollars that there almost is no difference.

I have bought my tickets and am sitting waiting for the numbers to be drawn, hoping against hope that one of my tickets will be the ticket that will help me acheive my dream... that being the REAL building of The Home That Love Built, my little universe of stories on the internet.

So I was just wondering if anyone besides myself on here play's Star Wars The Old Republic or World of Warcraft

Stephie's (my wife's) condition continues to degrade. She was first diagnosed with dementia/Alzheimer's disease in 2013. She was put into hospice a year later. Since then, I've been taking care of her at home, and slowly watching her degrade over time.

The periods where she is coherent grow fewer and further between. She no longer recognizes me. She think's I'm our son.

She struggles to say simple things. I would like to think that her mind knows what she's trying to say, but it gets lost in translation to what comes out of her mouth.

been a tough day today.

Struggled with physical arousal (which is always painful for me, and sets off my PTSD)), and i got a call from Sharon saying tomorrow she's going to have to put down one of her dogs, and my daughter is gonna be devastated

I have just read the story about the problems experienced by TS girls in Lima Peru. Here is the link:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3385749/Sex-surgery-...

I found the story to be so sad to read and yet how brave the girls are to live in such a society where the average life expectancy is 35 years of age.

My wife has long been the policewoman looking out for fashion no-nos. By that I mean seeing to it that I don't get too feminine for the situation. These could be a simple as seeing to it that I'm dressed masculine enough to be seen with her, to seeing to it that I'm dressed masculine enough to be seen by our friends and family that don't know I'm T.

From the Daily Mirror a story from Italy about a transgender woman who has spent over fifty thousand pounds on plastic surgery and looks rather sad to my thinking, especially the lip implants which look ridiculous and she plans on more! I'll stick to buying books. Amazingly, her wife has stayed with her.

http://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/world/transgender-woman-spends...

I am working on the next chapter of "Mercy", and I'm getting stuck on one thing.

I need some names.

I need a good name for the species that Faith draws her powers from.

I need two names for two different groups within that species.

and I need a good name for her antagonist.

Any suggestions ?

Is there any news on how Katie is doing? I haven't seen any updates in a while.

Waterdog

Didn't read today's blog entries close enough. Glad to here she's doing better.

I've had a few things removed from BC. Nothing bad has happened.

I decided I wanted to change the format of how I posted my stories. This entailed the removal of almost half my work so far. It's all going to be put back on, but not until I'm happy with the format.

Other than that, I'm doing okay.

Going back over my Transit of Venus I've read comments about my frequently leaving cliffhangers. I've read similar comments about other people's posts and it made me question whether some of our writing on BC is structured differently to the classic, magically produced for the audience, completed novel. The term cliffhanger comes I think from serials that left a bit of bait to encourage the audience to return for the next episode.

It is embarrassing to admit that I have not figured this out, and the one opportunity to get it right, I ignored.

You see, I have no BUTT. And, that is exacerbated by childhood scoliosis that left my lower back with no "Lordosis" whatsoever. I did purchase a padded butt/hip panty but it was far too tight, and now I can not even get into it at all !

It was one of those Made in China, size L things. For those who have noticed, this year is starting off as the year of the bigggg butt. In fact, no butt is a dead give away. :(

Here is my take on 2015:

This was the year where old, tired governments got replaced by parties with younger leaders and more optimistic outlooks

But it was also the year a reality show host became the leading nominee for President of the U.S.

It was a year that a black man was still in the White house

but it also was a year where a lot of unarmed black men got shot by police.

It was a year in which the Pope asked capitalists to take more care of the less fortunate

This is the first piece of original writing I've felt able to do since putting up "The Bridge." If you haven't read it this piece will make more sense if you stop now and do so.

This article may be sprawling, it may be rambling, or it may be short and rambling. I expect rambling, regardless of the size. There won't be any pretty pictures for this unless someone comes along and adds one. I don't think I can find a graphic that demonstrates how I feel now or how I felt when I wrote that story that won't trivialiase or make trite my feelings.

Well reading "The ties that bind" and, to put it blunt, pissed me of. so that I needed to shake it of. Not, to be to the point, that I hate it or that am angry at it. Just me being f****d as usual and letting my brain do her stuff >faceplam<

One reason I like reading and some tv-show /movies / anime , and that's forgetting music, is that my brain gives it an extra twist. My Mom used to say that when I watched a show, I was 'IN' the televionset instead of on the couch/floor where my body was. (was fun with the original Star Wars but hell with horormovies ).

The talk of Gor, and Gorean stories ignited an exploration of my own stories that are similar. I found one that was written back in 2007 when I was even nuttier than I am now and while reading it, found serious sentence structure issues. I have copied and pasted it back to Word for a tune up and plan to replace it at BCTS later today.

My plan is to cut and paste it above the existing story and then cut the old out of the bottom. This feels laborious, and knowing the level of my own "skills" feel there is an easier way. Any suggestions?

Gwen

Happy new year, everybody. I hope 2016 turns out to be an amazing fantastic year for you all.,

And just because you've all been good, here is a little treat:

"So what do you want to do tonight, Dottie?"

"Same thing we do every night, Jaci - try to convince people we're not girly girls!"

(Music plays)

"Oh they're Jaci and the Dot.

Jaci and the Dot.

One is a smartie, the other might have a thought.

They're really girly girls,

who give their skirts a twirl

They're Jaci, Jaci and the Dot Dot Dot ...."

At first I had writers block for several months, not being able write much I didn't hate. Afterwards I got absorbed in my own life and my old laptop died. This was bad because I had my story outline and research there, and of course it wasn't backed up. However, I have gotten back into writing and am happy with how chapter 3 is coming. Although I won't be able to write chapter 4+ until I can redo my research, trying to keep it somewhat historically accurate with names and all that.

To you all

Look out for the conclusion of Christmas Catastrophe on the 3rd.

Echoes by Sarah Lynn Morgan is as much a travel back in time as it is a fascinating life switch story. She had all the furnishings and nuances of history correct as far as I know. When Charlotte was at the dance, the young soldier asked if her "card" was filled for the dances. Young ladies of prominence had their evenings arranged with who they would social with and yes dance with beforehand. Thus the card and if it had some empty time for opportunity of a gentleman to ask the ladies hand for a dance.

This is an apology for my latest story.

I'm sorry its so dark.

Its just that the stress of losing my wallet, the stress of watching my mom get a lung infection and be unable to take antibiotics for either it or the hole they dug in her head to get out the cancer because they make her sick, the stress of my friend Jaci having no money and no food in her house and me not being able to help, the stress of knowing I'm going to have postpone any chance at SRS for the foreseeable, the stress of my PTSD, my depression, and my gender issues ...

No Shadow of the Heart this week due to illness.

Well, I have learned that no matter how bad things get, I can always make them worse with a little not thinking.

I managed to lose my wallet Monday, and spent yesterday hitting catch-22 after catch-22 trying to get replacements for my driver's licence, so I cant go to work tonight.

I know this too will pass, but darn it, I really didn't need to make things more difficult right now.

Yes, I know. It's been a long time, and about that I will only say, depression is an evil affliction, lifting for a few days to a few weeks of blessed lucidity, only to return with renewed vigor. Much like the party guest who lingers well into the wee hours--the more you want him to leave, the more determined he is to stay.

Fortunately, in my lucid periods I did have a large backlog of ideas, so expect them to start appearing in future Mixed Tapes, if Hutcho will be so kind as to accept them.

In doing research for a story character, I am building a little boy, the heir of an Arab family, who was kidnapped from the UAE at age 4 and brought to the US, castrated, and raised as a girl slave by criminals. Her nanny, also kidnapped, but from Saudia, has raised her, teaching her Arabic, and the things expected of a woman. The child is very bright. This is still developing.

Hi everyone. I'm looking for a story. I can't remember if I saw it on here, or the old Chrystal's Story Site, or even in Fictionmania.
What I do remember about it, there was a boy who was transgendered, and he got involved with this girl and her friends, and they made some sort of movie or something using Barbie Dolls.

If anyone remembers that story, can you please tell me the title.

Thanks.

Daphne46

My muse is resting at the moment, but she might kick in next year. I have a lot on my mind right now. I'm trying to find a professional agent for "A California Saga". I've been going through those listed on the "Predators and Editors" web site and have found several that look acceptable. I started at M's and am through the R's at this point, I'm contacting only those that work through email. I've sent queries to around a dozen so far.

I have a glimmer of an idea for a story in the Cynthia Chronicles series. Not even close to putting anything in print.

Well maybe it's because I'm not sleeping right (as in regulary and enough houres). But I got my eyes tearing up almost constantly at the moment. Crying at one moment, wishing for things an being jealous at another and laughing at reference and music at again another.

Well, not really new for this time of the year but it's a bit extreem this winter.

For those of you collecting the Lulu digital versions of Gaby here is 14.3 just for you!

http://www.lulu.com/content/e-book/gaby-san-part-3/18181348

Mads

Lost my flash drive with my current works, looks like I forgot it at work and it was taken right out of my computer.

being a 68 year old M-F and having your 22 year old Goddaughter asking to borrow your red lipstick!

Catherine Linda Michel

Hi folks

There is a book on Amazon by one of our authors. Does anybody here publish as Holly Dunn? If so ok but otherwise I think someone has stolen lastboyscouts story-the generals daughter.

This is the link http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/sitb/B019MEMOXU/ref=sib_dp_aw_kd...

If I'm mistaken I am sorry!

Sydney

I was browsing Flickr just now and thought I found a Steel Butterfly (Lyssa KM?)

https://flic.kr/p/CkxQVU

Today and everyday is a vessel, a gift from God.
It is yours to fill however you wish.
Fill it carefully for whether it is with love, caring, happiness or despair
Tomorrow this day will be your own memories for eternity

always
Barb

Seems I'm really back to the me of 20 years ago. The only difference is the fact I'm not having my gender issues which is good (post-op for 11 years now) although I'm still having body issues.

The bad? Well, my weirdness factor is going trough the roof. Can't seem to 'read' any situation. back to being afraid to walk out of the door (and no it's not agorafobia) and my mistrust due to not being able to 'read' thse situation I mentioned earlier is back t it peak. Not even going to start at the rest.

I hope all are well and enjoying the holidays with family and friends.

I know for some of us this may not be possible but it is my Christmas wish.

Hugs and love,
Erin

I've been giving a lot of careful thought to one of my major issues. It's my sexuality. I consider myself to be very conflictidly bisexual. I have a strong desire to be with a woman. I also have strong desires to be with a man. However, I am not really attracted to men much at all. While at the same time I am very attracted to women. Therein lies the bulk of my issue. Every time I see a woman I'm attracted to I feel my desire to be with a man. Every time I think about dating a man my desire to be with women comes back.

To all my readers and everyone else for that matter - from Gabyland.

It's cold and wet here - others have it wetter, I wish them well, not a good day if you live in the Eden valley.

We've had the traditional Christmas tragedies, thankfully with fewer casualties than in recent years - it's almost as though it's dictated that a car/bus/truck will kill/maim innocents as an Xmas gift.

Today for me will be quiet and solitary - lunch will be cooked, radio listened to and then i'll crack on with some writing, the results of which you should see in the next few days.

Seven years' bad luck. That's what happened to TopShelf ;-) It's been seven years tomorrow morning since I made that first blog post, rambling about crap that I honestly can barely even remember now.

Well, We're a little ahead of most of you, so I'll throw another prawn on the barbie for you.
A Very Merry Christmas and a Happy, Healthy and Prosperous New Year to all at Big Closet and thanks to all the Elves who do Santa's hard work all the year round for keeping everything running smoothly.

Merry Christmas to all. I just realized I love this place and the people who make it up. I feel more welcome here than just about anywhere I have ever been. This is a beautiful place where all are accepted for who and what they are. The world could learn a lot from this site.

May God bless you all and keep you, and as the old Irish blessing says, may you be a half hour in Paradise before the Devil knows you're dead. Be that the Christian Paradise, Muslim Paradise or whatever Paradise you believe in. If you're agnostic or atheist may you be pleasantly surprised.

In case I don't get to post before then, Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Waterdog

I'm 47 today, and well and truely know I'm not changing.

But while out xmas shopping, the family in front of me in the queue included a 10ish yr old transgendered child.

Damn she brought a smile to my face.

Didn't say anything of course, but she made me feel much better just by being there.

Hi everyone to be totally politically incorrect I'd like to wish you all a very merry Christmas. Stuff the happy holiday theme I was raised in a conservative home and I'm proud of that. It's not rocket science to know that we're living in very troubled times. So no matter what your personal beliefs are I wish everyone a very happy and peaceful Christmas. And also a very prosperous and successful new year.