Why am I smiling like a little girl? ^_^ There's nothing new about that, but I thought I'd share the reason.

I realised this morning... On one of my routes to work, I pass a house with a title. The title has "dyke" in it. ^_^
Despite my hardline MegaTomboyness, I am a Lipstick Lesbian at heart. The mere THOUGHT of being embraced by a "dyke" makes me feel all squishy inside. ^_^

Don't worry gentlemen, I am not 100% lesbian. It's just that "Lipstick Almost-Lesbian" can be a bit odd sounding at times.

Yesterday we had a pot-luck at the trans group I belong to, and what happened there opened my eyes a bit. See, there was a new person there, who had just started to come out, and was getting harassed for it at work. But it was her attitude that made an impact. She seemed to be resigned to abuse, and in fact acted like she deserved it. She called herself a "freak", and all I wanted to do was give her a big hug and tell her, "You are not a freak. You are precious, and beautiful."

That's when it really hit me.

How many times have I called myself names?

For those of you who don't know, in a previous male only life I was a world class wrestler (not that crap on television but Greco-Roman). In fact I won nationals in college twice (wasn't a Div I school so I don't know if you count that as an accomplishment but I do.) I also wrestled overseas in Central America representing our country. Internationally I am undefeated in Greco Roman Wrestling and hold a 12-1 in Freestyle (I lost to the bronze medalist of the 92 Olympics, he tore me apart).

I was thinking about spring yesterday. Right now, with a sweater and a coat on every time I go out, I dont have to worry about the wrong person (ie: my ex) noticing the fact that I'm in ladies clothes. Wont be able to do that once it gets warm, so I'm not sure what I'll do.

Ah, well.

I've Got It!

There was a recent blog about significant people in ones life having dementia.

My dad died of Alzheimer's at age 72 in '96. There are family stories of men dieing from doing crazy things, in old age, in my dad's family. I think the family might be a hereditary propensity toward Alzheimer's. My mom has Alz now at age 87; she's almost completely gone mentally. There is no evidence that hers has a genetic component.

Why does everything always happen at the same time? I've had this cold for well over a week now, and it's so bad I can cough in my sleep, often without waking. It's also worked it's way down into my chest, and up into my sinuses...

So the bad weather happens just about now as well, and to top it all I just accidentally trashed one of my servers... twice.

Well, last night, before I went to work, my mom let me know that my ex mentioned reading my letter when she dropped off Sam after having her for the day. Mom said that my ex's only comment was, "Well, he'll always be Todd to me." If that's the wost that comes out of this, its a pretty darn good result.

Then, I got to work, and my supervisor passed on a compliment from the day staff in the fashion department . He said they had said, "Can we keep her?" So that made me feel pretty good.

I finalized on the house on Monday, so I am now an owner of property. I've had the plumber come out and got those little odds and ends taken care of. I also had the outside pressure washed and the yard work done. On this coming Monday, I have the exterminator coming out to deal with the termites and the spiders (ICK!!!) and all the little carpenter ants. I've had the bed and the living room delivered, so technically I can sleep there. But I still have no wires. Actually, that's a lie, I have two hundred feet of wire, it's sitting in a coil on the counter.

Had a peek at some of my old entries, and I find it almost impossible to believe how far I've come in such a short time. If I was writing my life as a fiction story, everyone would say "oh, come on now! That's just not realistic!" But its actually happening, and its been almost .... easy? Like all I really had to do was just .... decide to live, to be the real me, and everything would start falling into place? I'd pinch myself, but if this is a dream, I dont want to wake up....

Ok, i know that by saying things like the title is a way to have the gods notice you, but... What an amazing freaking week so far.
Yesterday, i went to the Y for the first time in...well forever it seems. The fitness guide, Nathaniel, was an absolute sweetheart, he understands where i'm going and aside from some pronoun trouble, he is great... and sorry Dani... he is cute too. so I'm doing that again Wednesday.

Okay, so this is a little weird. I'm on my way home this morning, and the song "Lose Yourself" comes on, and I just start crying, tears running down my cheeks as the song plays. I mean, I know I'm a bit more emotional than normal, but I hadnt expected that. Anybody else have a song that makes them cry for no good reason?

Well, its official. I've got aches, chills, runny nose, the works. Gonna be a bummer at work tonight.

Just wanted to let those of you following my medical drama know that there was apparently a clerical error/miscommunication, so no surgery today after all.

I think I did something to my shoulder a couple of days ago, and I woke up today in a lot of pain. I really didnt need this. Ah, well.

After a lot of conniving double-handed back stabbing that included a lot of misdirection and lying, I am saddened to announce that my mother did not steal my inheritance. She tried her best to do so, with the truth of what she was doing coming to me in the end. She did things like tell the insurance company she was my aunt's only surviving near relative (I guess nephews don't count as near relatives, but besides, my Aunt also has a surviving older brother).

On April 1st 1970:
"It's a boy!"

It took me almost 40 years to recognize the joke... ;)

M

The Working Girl Blog #18: I'm bored, or I'm bored, bored bored.... I'm BORED! ... borrrred... To see all of Bobbie's "Working Girl" blogs, click on this link: http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/19261/working-girl-blogs

Got nothin' to write about again. As in totally nothing...

The Working Girl Blog #14: Going out to lunch, or Being a girl means never having to pay To see all of Bobbie's "Working Girl" blogs, click on this link: http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/19261/working-girl-blogs

I think I mentioned the guy in one of my earlier blogs - you know? That manager that started the whole standard documentation brouhaha? Well, he asked me to lunch today. Yeah, I know.

The Working Girl Blog #10: Learning to dress in "business casual," or Girl clothes are fun, but I miss pockets - The new meaning of VPL To see all of Bobbie's "Working Girl" blogs, click on this link: http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/19261/working-girl-blogs

Be warned - nothing major happened today, so today's blog will just be a lot of folderol about nothing. Hope you aren't too disappointed.