The Family Girl Blogs (aka "The New Working Girl Blogs") Blog #36: Back home! To see all of Bobbie's Family Girl Blogs, click on this link: http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/28818/family-girl-blogs

Moe n I are back home. Yayyy!

Just wanted to give a public thank-you to Tels who took time yesterday to talk to me by phone. Thank you hon.

The Family Girl Blogs (aka "The New Working Girl Blogs") Blog #35: Imitation of a Regular Life (2 of 2) To see all of my Family Girl Blogs, click on this link: http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/28818/family-girl-blogs

I am a post-op TG girl, as many know, and I have had to make adjustments over the years - from the simpler, visible side of things, like the way I dress and act and sound (and even smell heehee), to more complicated things like learning new ways to live, to relate to others, and to be happy.   No choice, really, especially after I had changed what my therapist calls my "basic physical parameters," which is 21st century doctor-speak for HRT, SRS and the other plastic surgeries.

It's real difficult adjusting to a feminine life.   That's not to say it's unwanted - after all, these are the things I needed to do to accomplish the magical transition that I had desperately wanted, and eventually  have the life I have dreamed about - to have my imitation regular life.

I was chatting with my friend Kylie yesterday on IMVU while my daughter was over, and she cuddled up close to me and watched me typing.

She looked at the avi of Kylie, and asked "Is she like you?"

I said, pointing at our avatars, "she's a pretty girl, like I am, see?"

My daughter then said, "No. Is she .... Like you?"

I said Yes, she's a boy on the outside, but a girl on the inside."

She just held on to me, and said nothing.

Does this mean she's getting the idea about me?

I had a good session, with one of the things I did was have an exercise where I pretended to punch my rapist, taking time to see how my body moved, what muscles I would use, and so on. Being given permission to be angry at him in a safe place felt pretty good.

I had forgot to mention a little incident that happened between my ex and my mom on Thursday night. They had a open house at the school my daughter will attend next year, and after a presentation, they were supposed to take a tour in small groups starting with the people at the back of the auditorium. My ex, my mom, and my daughter were at the front, but my ex grabbed my daughter and ran to join the first group, leaving my mom behind. Unable to keep up, my mom decided to skip the tour entirely and went to her car to wait.

The Family Girl Blogs (aka "The New Working Girl Blogs") Blog #34, Imitation of a Regular Life (1 of 2) To see all of my Family Girl Blogs, click on this link: http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/28818/family-girl-blogs

There are so many things that have happened to me these past seven or so years, though I know that all I have gone through don't even compare to one-tenth many of those here in BC have gone through.   But these changes of fortune and ups and downs in life are mine own, and they have helped to shape what I am now, whatever that is, which includes my attitudes, my beliefs, my points of view on life, and so many other things.

Being in a foreign land makes one look at one's life from a fresh perspective.   I suppose because the people around you look at you differently, forcing you to re-assess who and what you really are - to see yourself from a different perspective.

Hence this blog.

I was hosting/emceeing an anime event at a mall yesterday when one of the contestants in the cosplay (costume play) segment asked, while waiting for his turn to go on the catwalk, whether I had joined any pageants because I was pretty and had a good voice. Though I agree on the voice part I didn't believe the pretty part. I know I look okay, but not good enough for pageants. The guy asking has had some fame (or infamy) in our country because he has had multiple surgeries to look like Clark Kent / Superman. He also happens to be a trainer / coach in beauty pageants.

You know, not that long ago, I would be moaning over my status as being somewhere between male and female. But I seem to have found a kind of peace about where I am right now. Good thing, since this is the level that I will probably be stuck at for the rest of my natural, since surgery is out of my reach.

Sure, it would be nice to be able to go to the pool without being a freak, but that's life.

I'm Dorothy, and I dont need no stinking surgery to know that.

Well, I've written a little epilog to "Six Forty-Five", and I'll publish it tomorrow. With that little piece of business out of the way, I might be able to get back to focusing on my "Quest" story. Hopefully, it will be a bit more popular ....

Meanwhile, I feel a lot better for having written this, so at least in that way it hasn't gone to waste.

I talked with two of the people i was resisting telling about my forward momentum today. My Eldest Sister and My Father.

A short poem i wrote about 6 years ago. i hope you enjoy it.
Diana

So yesterday a telemarketer called my cell phone -again-. I really wish I could figure out a way to get that to stop... Anyhoo... I answered it with "Hello", and they asked if they could speak to my male name as though there was no way on earth he was already speaking to them. I said speaking. And they were seriously shocked. They asked, in a disbelieving tone: Are you really Andrew? As though there was absolutely no way on earth I could possibly be Andrew.

My story scrolled off the front page today. It is still part of Short Story Month - February 2012,, which ends soon. I did not put a teaser on the story, which means it does not show up there, and when I looked on the Stories it is deeply buried.

The Family Girl Blogs (aka "The New Working Girl Blogs") Blog #32: I'm a Hot Girl To see all of Bobbie's Family Girl Blogs, click on this link: http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/28818/family-girl-blogs

I am one hot girl.   And you know why?   Coz it's ninety-four degrees over here.   Heehee.

And people say I'm cute, too (joke!).

I was shaving today, and as I tried to get rid of some more of the hair on my chest, I could see (and feel) some development in my breast area. Then I put on my shirt, and I could see my nipples sticking out and thought "My God - I've got real boobs at last !"

Needless to say, I'm pretty happy about this.

Reading Karen Bishop's story has had me thinking about memory - especially my memories of my abuse. For most of my life, I had little conscious recall of what happened to me, mostly it was something that I only had flashes and nightmares about. Now, I can remember, and I think that's better, but its been a painful journey, and I'm not done yet.

Ah, well.

There comes a time, as we approach our transition that we have to tell our Bosses. Well, I reached that day, today. *sighs*

I'm really struggling with the voice of self-criticism. Every mistake I make lately is being magnified to something terminal, and I dont know how to turn off this voice.

Help?

During my little "TG-PMS" time, someone said to me my writing comes across as very female. I'm wondering, in what way? What makes a woman writer different from a male one?

I'm not depressed, exactly, but I feel like ... I dont know. All my life I was stuck in boy world, with my face pressed against the glass looking in at girl world, so envious I was salivating like a starving person watching people enjoying a five star meal. Now, I at last found an entrance into that land, but I wonder if I will ever be seen as anything but an immigrant. Will I ever .... just fit in?

Real life gets in the way again. I'm starting a new job in another city and will be moving. As a result, I won't be posting any new stories for the time being. I may have a little time to write, but for now, I'm one gone girl.

See ya in a couple of months!

Cindi

h'okay so... I am massively stressed because one of my classes is so stupid hard you just cannot believe it. Psychopharmacology taught by a Neurobiologist who has never taught this before is... an experience. I am learning a hell of a lot but OMG.

On the radio today, I listened as an announcer read out the transcript of a statement made during the sentencing hearing for Graham James by NHL star Theo Fleury. For those who dont know, James raped Fleury repeatedly while acting as his hockey coach when Fleury was a teen.

I know I shouldn't have listened, but I just had to hear what he said. Even if it hurt, because in some ways, he was speaking for me too, since I will never be able to do so in a court of law about my rapist.

But, dont worry. I'm okay.

I hope.