Once upon a time there was a small child, and like all children do they dreamed there dreams and played there games, But something was different, this child didn't play the games that other People thought they should, they didn't act the way others thought they should. The Child didn't know they were different, other children played the games they played and dreamed the dreams they did, If others could then why can't I.

I bought a nice mountain bike with 24 gear ratios (eight sprockets in the back, three up front,) 29" knobby tires, and shock absorbers front and back.

It's nothing like what Bev and Ang and Cyclist ride, but it suits the dirt road and trails around here. In fact, it's probably less expensive than just the frames that they have. It appears to be made out of aluminum, not titanium or graphite.

... but one thing was the same. We also called ant lions doodlebugs, so I don't think it was strictly an Arkansas thing.

I never worked the cotton fields around Fresno, CA, but did do some agricultural work with many of my friends in the same time frame, 1950-1954, when I was 6-10.

well, I planned to meet a friend for lunch today, so I got a little femmed up for the occasion - skirt, hose, heels, necklace, lipstick and eye shadow. I had a nice lunch, and am doing my laundry with no hurry to change into pants for work. Its hard for me to explain to someone who isnt trans how .... nice a feeling this is.

As I was at my counselor I did recieve several nice compliments from him. I think they are important, because they solidify what I already know about myself.

The first was when I said I wouldn't get any facial reconstructive surgery. He said he didn't see the need. I've been blessed with high cheek bones and I think my face has always had feminine qualities to it, now if I would add to that some make-up (which I don't wear as of yet) think how far I should come. The thing about make-up, is 1) I break out easy and 2) I never learned and don't want to look like a harlot.

Well, despite the temptation to wallow in feeling down, I'm fighting back. Yeah, sometimes, life sucks, but you got to carry on. Its not in good times you find out who you are, but how you deal with troubles. So I'm going to keep fighting to find positive things in my life, no matter how hard I have to look. I'm a stronger woman than my fears would have me believe, and I can do this.

The song, "Big Rock Candy Mountain" may have saved my Aunt Opal's life back in 1951. It happened like this:

I just worked a nine hour day straight, no lunch, and I'm completely bushed.

First off, thank you all for the twenty responses I got and for the responses Grover got on his thread. That was very cool and gave me a warm fuzzy. I did kind of need that.

As for the surgery itself, it went great. They got the majority of the stones on both sides, easily getting the larger stones, and leaving some of the smaller, more easily passable stones. It took the full two hours to accomplish as there was a lot to do. The docs really worked hard to take care of me and do it right.

Hello, it's a beautiful day. I just finish my income taxes and both of "my" prime minister want MORE of my money. No I didn't vote for theme, not that the options are any better.
The car in the shop for several small things.
The washer is starting to act up, so probably more money that way (or is it way MORE MONEY).
Brother dearest is still not paying any thing.
And the pay check is not getting bigger to compensate.

So not good for any clothing, therapy, i don't even thing about meds.
Still in the closet for most part.

Health is not bad, my cat is lovely and i envy her.

Well, yesterday I went to the trans group pot-luck, and it was good, but apparently, my friends there are worried about me. They told me they can see both the manic and the depression, and that I need to get it under control, or I risk something bad happening.

Now, the person I was would have said, "Serves me right for opening up. I try to be honest, and they think I'm nuts." and would have withdrawn from the group.

But I'm trying to be a better person now, and sometimes, that means I have to be able to know when people are trying to tell me hard truths to help me.

You may be familiar with a poem called "Footprints" where a person looks back on their life and realizes how often God carried them through hard times. Well, God has been walking me through some "footprints" moments the last little while. Not so much about hard times, but just how He has put me in just the right place at just the right time to receive a blessing. I could give lots of examples, but two really stand out for me. First is the very existence and presence in my life of my daughter.

Got a piece of fantastic mail today!

That is now my official name... and this is a huge step forward now.

So, Hi everyone, from my newly legal self,
Diana Michelle Howe

So the last week has been a little slice of hell...Mixed with a little slice of affirmation(leavened with some idiocy). Anyway, step 1 of getting hubby healthy has been accomplished. Full mouth extraction(Which his cardiologist insisted on prior to surgery to repair a congenital Atrio-Septal Defect). He tried to chicken out and I had to gently bully him into going.

The surgery itself went just fine, although he almost didn't survive check-in. Not from any medical issue aside from my intense desire to strangle him...

If anybody ever tells you that Electro-convulsive shock therapy is not painful go to this site.

I endured this sort of stuff from 1952 to 1958. It hurts! It hurts like hell and it is abuse not therapy. They might as well just have beaten me with sticks.

No requittal. No f-----g requittal!!!

http://www.myfoxboston.com//dpp/news/undercover/video-of-tee...

www.myfoxboston.com/dpp/news/undercover/video-of-teen-restrain...

well, I'm a little shaky thanks to a conversation with someone on the support site I belong to. She told me she was being used by her own father for sex, something she described in some detail, and she refused any idea of reporting him or stopping him.

I ache in grief for her, but I had to let her go because considering my background, it was all I could do to not throw up while she was talking, and I got very upset at her lack of interest in helping herself.

Ah, well.

well, I had a good session today at the rape center, and I fell as good as can be, considering. We talked about my nightmares, and my therapist said it actually represents some signs of progress, because in each dream, I intended to act, rather than simply freeze. Baby steps, I guess.

Since arriving here, I have to tell you that I am one happy tomboy! I really have to admit that the fact that I actually have had people reading what I've written (as well as that which my friend Koz has allowed me to share) has really gotten my juices flowing in the mental and, pardon me, physical sense. (with apologies for the not so subtle joke there).

The Family Girl Blogs (aka "The New Working Girl Blogs") Blog #42: Easter Backyard Picnic To see all of Bobbie's Family Girl Blogs, click on this link: http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/28818/family-girl-blogs

I am a second-generation Italian-American (well, one-half of me is), and I am sure that those of you who have Italian roots and celebrate Easter in the traditional way, you'll know that the big deal thing is (aside from the morning High Mass) is lunch.   Lasagna, hard-boiled eggs and green salad with asparagus (or salads with tuna), and then roast beef and lamb and roast potatoes, and for dessert - sweet Easter bread and chocolate eggs, and then ending with an espresso or a nice cappucino.

But, of course, none of that for me this time as I'm not at home. Darn...

The Family Girl Blogs (aka "The New Working Girl Blogs") Blog #41: Easter Sunday To see all of Bobbie's Family Girl Blogs, click on this link: http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/28818/family-girl-blogs

Just wanted to wish everyone a Happy Easter from sunny Manila.

for the 2nd time in the last 3 days I had a nightmare. I thought all the rape counseling and stuff was supposed to help me with this crap?

The Family Girl Blogs (aka "The New Working Girl Blogs") Blog #40: Holiday Blues (3 of 3): Poolside Musings To see all of Bobbie's Family Girl Blogs, click on this link: http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/28818/family-girl-blogs

The stereotypical image we have of summer (and it's most definitely summer here - ninety degrees, can you believe it?) is a sumer spent mostly at the beach.   But some girls - girls like me - don't look at time at the beach as a stereotypical summer - lying in the sun, lounging around and working on their tans.   But, being "a stranger in a strange land," I felt anonymous enough that I thought I could do some of that without any of the consequences.   We planned on going to the beach this afternoon.

The Family Girl Blogs (aka "The New Working Girl Blogs") Blog #39: Holiday Blues (2 of 3): Mall Insecurity To see all of Bobbie's Family Girl Blogs, click on this link: http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/28818/family-girl-blogs

Wednesday was a regular workday here in Manila, but it was the day before the start of a four-day weekend. Most everyone wanted to go home to their hometowns, so there's usually a massive exodus of people from Metro Manila going towards various other places in the country.