Author's note. Sorry for the delay on this one. I had really bad writer's block. I hope you enjoy my little work around, even if you have to re-read past events a bit.

From the private diary of one Hermione J. Granger

11th of April 1992

France and the Vampire Relic
I left and went to my hummer with my sister and my demons and we left to Hades airport and saw Airforce one ready for my tour or conquest of France and soon the world, my entourage boarded Airforce one and Toni called me by cell phone and says “ my queen I have the Vampire relic you were after and yes the vampire know as Vlad is dead”.

Hidden Intent Part 4

As we moved from town to town I settled into my life as a girl. My injuries had healed and Jenny had been teaching me the finer points of girl-dom. The tigers had become very friendly with everyone and their previous minder was happy to leave me to look after them.

Nancy takes care of her flock.

It was just one of those days which started fine. I went to school without any suspicion on my part that, by the end of the day, I'd be on the run pretending to be someone totally different with my dad on his way to South America.

“The parody is the last refuge of the frustrated writer. Parodies are what you write when you are associate editor of the Harvard Lampoon. The greater the work of literature, the easier the parody. The step up from writing parodies is writing on the wall above urinals.” - Ernest Hemmingway.

“Turnabout is fair play.” — Angela Rasch

The following parody has many references to Cary Grant and his movies. . .above and beyond the obvious. Should you get bored with this story, or if the story runs against your grain. . .use it as a puzzle. . .try to pick out all those references.

This story also contains several un-attributed quotes. We apologize for trying to be someone or something we’re not. We suspect the nature of the story supports this decision.

Chapter One - I Don’t Go To Church, Kneeling Bags My Nylons

Eighteen year old William Baxter is fascinated by next door neighbor Mrs Delores Cashmore and follows her to church. Mrs Cashmore has many secrets which William soon finds out. But Delores knows about William's meddling in her private affairs and has plans for him.

I had a weird dream about working on a series of kid's books. They were illustrated and I wish I could draw like that. Some of it looked a lot like Brad Guigar's art on Evil, Inc.

One of the books was about a young owl discovering things. It was called, "Nobody Really Likes Liver."

Bordello Boys
A Short Story
By Maryanne Peters

My mother said that she prayed that her children would not be male. A brothel is no place for boys.

But I was a boy, and so was my real cousin Dee, and my pretend cousin Jay.

Dee was older than me by three years, but Jay was only a few months younger than me, so we played together. Dee looked after us a bit, I guess. Both of us looked up to Dee.

A sequel to the Gun Princess Royale. Yanked off the streets of New Angeles by the tenebrous Pantheon organisation, and gifted with a deadly avatar known as a Diva, Nikola 'Sola' Raynar is a Lanfear - a huntress of Bloodliners and Wolvren. When she isn't hunting down the denizens of the night, she's busy finding ways to build up her nest egg for the day of her retirement from Pantheon. But when her rampant greed carries her a little too far, she finds herself in a mess that wasn't entirely of her own making.