Previously: I guess it was Kylene who text Tonya and Beth to come over to our house. They showed up a little before 8:00. Nine o’clock found me on my computer looking at prom dresses with seven others from my sister’s age to a year younger than me surrounding my computer screen.
Mom broke up the group and idea, “Let’s not get ahead of where she’s at. She would need to be at school at least two weeks before we’d even consider that.”
Angie spoke up, “The possibility of Shelby deciding about a prom dress is already late…”

Now: Angie giggled, “Shelby is already behind other girls in looking for prom dresses. Tell us Shelby did you ever imagine going to a prom?”

I turned silent until my mother insisted that I answer. “Well, I imagined trying on the dresses. But I never really imagined a boy asking me out though I liked the idea of dancing in a nice dress.”

Mother inquired, “So you did see yourself going to a prom and dancing with someone?”

I asked, “How did you know that, or were you just guessing?”

She said, “I’ve read one study that indicated that possibility? It means you’re probably not gay, but transgender.”

I asked again, “When did you read something like that?

Mom said, “Four years or so ago, then I read it again last night. I guess it is common with some trans-girls.”

“Mom, I like wearing nice clothes like this, crossdressing probably, but I’m not ready to say I’m transgender.”

“Then why don’t you call it a night, and sleep on it,” she suggested.

Angie followed me up to my room, as others left. Angie said, “You’ve acknowledged to me that you’re probably transgender; why did you deny it then?”

I said, “That’s how it is, sometimes I think so, sometimes I deny it altogether and more often than not I wonder about who I really am.”

Angie asked, “What do you think of mom ordering the size B breastforms?”

“I know the others are too big for me now, but the idea that Mom knows me better is a little disturbing. That she ordered them without my agreeing was wrong.”

We hear my father speak up, “Angela Short get out of there. Don’t go reinforcing ideas in Russell’s head. It is bad enough that your mother is supportive as she is.”

I showered, removed any makeup I had on, and went to bed. I can’t remember when I changed from daydreaming and when I actually fell asleep as the dreams continued. This is why I was excited about being eighteen and able to pursue being me.

Mom, Dad, and others already knowing is all contrary to what I thought. Darla Woods, my neighbor… new friends in Beth, Rose and Tonya is unbelievable. Angie accepting me as a sister…

It was eleven o’clock Sunday morning when Tonya got me on the computer. “I hope, giving you a friendship ring wasn’t too much on my part. I overheard your mother talking to Maisy, and I selected the ring.”

‘Presumptuous? I thought, no. I was surprised someone like her would want to share a friendship ring with me. I thought it was included just to make me happy.’ Tonya took my silence wrong, “I’m sorry, it was way too early for me to do that.”

“No, that’s not it,” I said. “I’d love to be friends like that, I just didn’t expect to be liked.” There was more silence, “That is one of my biggest dreams to have a special friend who’s another girl.”

Tonya said, “You know what I’d like?”

I had no idea where she was going with that, but I couldn’t think of how to reply. She said, “We don’t really know each other. You know my name, and I’ve seen you around as Russ. But neither of us really knows the other, other than I like what I’ve seen so far. Do you think your parents would mind if I came over and we just took time to walk around and know each other?”

I giggled and then apologized. “That would be great. Please have permission to stay if my Mom invites you to dinner.” Our visit ended.

I called out of my room, “Mom and Dad is it alright if Tonya comes over to talk with me?”

Mom replies, “If you’re comfortable with her being here, ask her to stay for dinner. We will be eating early afternoon.”

It was a quarter to 1:00 when mom asked me to set the dinner table for eight people. It wasn’t unusual that grandma Strayer would be over, but it wasn't until I was setting the table that my sister’s friends Juli and Sara showed up.

My father was partially happy because mom made lasagna, but was critical that Tonya encouraged me to wear a skater dress that showed off my legs. The dress was moderate in length and even grandma said it looked good and was modest for a girl my age.

Sara commented, “I like the pantyhose you chose as it doesn’t show leg markings like you’re wearing long panties underneath.”

I remarked, “I’m glad I can sit up, have a napkin in my lap, and take smaller bites without being seen as different. They are some of the small things I like in being Shelby.”

Mother said, “I’m glad. I’ve noticed it before, but now it seems naturally you.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

Angie was the first to bring up, “We hope you and Tonya might go shopping with us. Mom thinks you need more of the essentials. I thought it might be better if we take you out and make sure you get what you like. You also need to learn to be a good shopper.”

Tonya said, “I can take most of the afternoon, but I need to do some school work later.”

It was after dinner, yet just before we went shopping. That a special delivery package came addressed to me. My mother was amused, “It could benefit what you’re ready to do. But on the other hand, it would take time and the others might figure out what it is?”

Angie was the one who let the cat out of the bag, “Mom, you don’t think her breastforms would already be here, do you?”

Tonya said, “I noticed you weren’t wearing your larger boobs. So what you’re wearing now is all stuffing?” I was slightly embarrassed, but I liked that everyone had seen me just as another girl.

Mom, Grandma, and I went up to my room to change. I was happy that the forms were a fuller size B and as with my older ones, the skin tone was a good match with my skin. I helped with using makeup to blend in where my breastforms and skin met.

After I got dressed again, it was nice to feel my breastforms as part of me. Tonya was the first to respond, “You like how they feel, don’t you? I’m not sure if it is enjoyment or a sense of confidence I see in you, but there’s a difference.”

We all squeezed into one car and were on our way. I even enjoyed walking from the car to the lineup of women’s stores. Sara mentioned, “I never expected to be going shopping with your younger brother and look forward to it.”

Angie said, “Let that be the last remark about my brother while we’re shopping. We can tease her a little bit today but she’s my sister.”

We focused on getting me spring and the start of a summer wardrobe. Three skirts and numerous tops we noticeably for school and casual dress. We were going into another women’s store that kind of spoke that it was better than others. Tonya whispered, “You’ll like this if we get something here.”

My sister made her way to several racks of dresses that were stated to be 20% or more off. “Good,” she said, “they’ve put some new dresses over here getting ready for a new week.” We weren’t the only shoppers looking for something good. Sis pulled out three dresses: one was a sage green that I thought was nice, and another was blue with a print of white butterflies and flowers along the skirt portion. There was another that was nice, but not for me at least not now.

Angie lifts two, “These seemingly caught your eye, go and try them on.”

“Sis, they’re not just everyday dresses,” I let out?

Juli said, “No they’re not but every girl needs a couple of nice dresses. You don’t need to buy either but you should try them on and see how they look on you.”

The blue dress with the butterflies on the chiffon skirt and the white flowers on the regular skirt made the dress come to life. It was everything I had dreamed of and it fitted fantastically well. The sage dress was beautiful but it didn’t sit well on me.

We put the sage dress back and set the blue one aside. Every one of us was trying on what we liked, and finally, Sara and Juli found two to their liking.

Tara, a saleswoman, said to me, “You liked the sage dress, and have been looking for another like it, but better fitting. I think we have what you want, but it is not on sale yet. Let me show you, and you can try some on.”

I said, “There’s no need, I probably can’t afford it.” She smiled and led me over to the dresses she was talking about. There it was a mid-length sage dress that caught my eyes; she didn’t even have to point it out.

Tara said, “You’re the one who picked it out, find your size and go try it on. I think it would be beautiful on you.” I looked to Angie and she moved her head in affirmation.

I don’t know how Tara knew the fit would be good as it was cut differently from the blue dress. But it actually fit better, it snuggled my body as I zipped it up. While I could tell by the mirror in the changing room that it looked good on me. I wanted to go look at it in the three mirrors outside of the dressing rooms.

Tonya and my sister were especially pleased as I was with how it looked.

Tara said, “Now you have a decision to make; do you wait and hope it’s still there when it goes on sale, or do you make an exception and buy it now?”

I look over to Angie, who said, “If you get it for Easter, mom would probably be understanding, but it is expensive for you.”

The saleswoman said, “If you buy both dresses, I would take ten dollars off this one now.”

I sighed, “I’m sorry, but I’m going to say ‘no’ for now.”

Tara said, “I understand, but I will expect you to come again and be a customer again.” She helped us to check out, including one of the sale dresses for Angie.

We took Tonya to her house before we got home. She turned to Angie and asked, “Do you have any idea if your mother will allow Shelby to come to school tomorrow or Tuesday if the doctor said it was okay?”

Angie looked at me and then Tonya, “It is probably a matter of time and the doctor, but that’s still a big question that I don’t know the answer to.”

Story to be continued…