Well, I've just spent the last 6 days working hard to move. But we got it all done and just got home about 30 min. ago. I'm exhausted and started getting dehydrated, so we stopped and got some drink on the way home. I ache all over from my neck all the way to the bottom of my feet (my feet normally hurt due to my disability). My daughter was a big help and she's been sick since yesterday. But thank God, we are now done.

Tomorrow will be a day of rest and starting to recover. :)

I hope you all are doing well. :)

Hugs,
Mark <3

Well, Jaci phoned me today, and she's doing okay. She's had her surgery, and other than being in pain, she's in good spirits, and Ruth is there helping her out.

(Dottie does a happy dance.....)

Irrational fears. We listen to them all the time, they are fears we cant get past. Fears that keep us back afraid, fears that have the power to paralyze us from acting. These fears kept me in hiding for thirty-three years. I was so afraid that my world would come crumbling down I hid, terrified of loss.

well, my reading of my poem at church went well. A number of people came up afterward to tell me they were moved by it, and as a bonus, my brother was there and I think he liked it too. Much yayness!

What happened was that a long time ago someone on this site told me they had xbox live as well so I invited them to play with me and my friends. Things were normal for a while, one of my best friends has 2 friends he grew up with that don't like me because of my aspergers. Well I invited this person to join me and my friend Justin. Well since Justin's friends mike and Justin didn't like me I understood Justin not inviting me to the group but not the person on this site.

Well, Jaci is on her way to Montreal to have her surgery done. If you feel so inclined, could you spare a moment to say a prayer or send some positive vibes on her behalf?

A few weeks ago I posted a blog about my pussycat Madeline. I was almost doing it daily and didn't have the heart to keep on disappointing people day after day. For a month it looked like there was nothing left to do but to put her down. The medicine I was given didn't work and all she did was stay on the bed, immobile for hours on end unless I brought her to her food, which she barely touched.

The Family Girl Blogs (aka "The New Working Girl Blogs") Blog #59: Identity Theft! To see all of Bobbie's Family Girl Blogs, click on this link: http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/28818/family-girl-blogs

A little while ago (June 5, 10:58pm eastern) I got an e-mail from Laika. From out of the blue, actually.

Her e-mail was a little funny - it didn't have a subject-title, it was also sent to four other people that I didn't know (who is DALENEK1 anyway), and the e-mail's content was just a hotlink to an ad about a raspberry diet supplement.

And a few minutes after that, my iPad started asking me to re-confirm/re-enter the passowords for my other e-mail profiles. Hmmm... that's funny. Anyway, I didn't, and nothing bad happened when I didn't re-enter the passwords... Hmmm...

I cannot therefore help but think that Laika and I were being spoofed.

The last couple of days have given me a chance to practice my social skills, and that's a good thing. First, I went to see the new "Star Trek" movie with one of my co-workers and a friend of hers, and that went fine, and then today I got put in charge of the coffee pot for the little coffee-and-snack thing we do after service, and as we had a group of visitors, that was interesting. It also went very well, and doing well in these kinds of situations is great, especially since that before this, my tendencies would have been to either act like a buffoon, or retreat into a corner.

Good Evening All!!

I am hastily moving towards RLT. I've a house, two gay yardboys, and family in the area. Woo Hoo!!!

Well, I saw my endo doc yesterday, and things are going in the right direction. My testosterone levels have dropped from almost 20 to 10.5. Still got a ways to go, they want my levels down to normal female range, which is 2-3. So they have increased my estrogen to 5 pumps per day, and recommended that rather than putting it on one spot, I put each pump onto a different spot to help make sure it absorbs properly.

Still, I'm making progress, and that's a good thing.

Friends,

well, after church today, the Affirm group met to discuss the upcoming Pride week, and one of the things that will take place is a special lunch on Sunday after the service, followed by a guest speaker. During this conversasion, my poem "Dear God" got mentioned, and in the end they would like me to read it aloud at this lunch.

I cant remember the last time I spoke in front of people, so this could be interesting on that front, but I'm incredably humbled to be asked.

It will be on June 9th, and I'm hoping someone can film it so I can make a link afterward.

I got a package from the clinic where, God willing, I will be getting my SRS done. While I could spend my time wishing and dreaming about the day I'm post-op, I've decided to take another approach. I'm going to enjoy the now, be grateful for what I have, and try my best to keep looking on the bright side of things. I will probably slip once in a while, and sometimes, I will suffer from depression or PTSD attacks, but I'm really going to do my best to keep my head up.

Wish me luck, okay?

I'm sure that some non-trans woman reading this blog will sniff and say I'm getting my girl card punched way too easily. I mean, there are a few things cisgendered girls go through I will never deal with. The most obvious example is periods - I will never know the "joy" of bleeding, of feeling bloated, cramped, and so on that accompanies having a monthly cycle. I'm sure said woman can add other things as well, but before she gets too carried away with herself, there are a couple of things I have gone through most cisgendered women never would.

My name is Wendy Jean M. It was William (Bill) M, and in the eyes of the government it still is. This will be corrected soon enough. I am 56 years old, and am transitioning from male to female (MtF).

Those of you who know me are already aware of the killer depression (literally) I went through. If not for the love of family, whom I love more than myself, I would be gone now. I’ve beat the depression, though traces still remain.

Well, yesterday I mentioned that wearing a skirt felt so good I could feel my blood pressure drop, and it turns out that wasnt a figurative statement. I went to get my estrogen prescription refilled and used the blood pressure machine while I waited, and my blood pressure was 109/88 - a significant drop from before where I was hovering around the danger zone.

too bad I cant wear skirts all the time, but ah, well.

Sorry for my recent absence folks. It seems whenever things start to get better they get worse. 2 weeks ago my laptop finally decided to call it quits leaving me unable to do much writing or posting. Add to that another death of someone close to me and I've been in a bad way.

Where did she go? She's still here, just not on as much.

Remember in Men in Black when the guys are talking about where a space ship could be hidden and J is trying to get their attention, he Yells Old Guys. Since today is another birthday, how do I change my log in to something similar to Old Guy

After getting a letter from my psychiatrist last week I did a bigger step today:

As always, the "why" quest occupies a lot of my time. It is funner than suicide. :)

This morning I have been more calmly reading about certain diagnosisies, among them PTSD and BPD, because I have both. It is astonishing that while many of us think that it takes Military combat to get PTSD, the actual facts are that one can get it from a bad car accident, or an abusive traumatic childhood.

As far as BPD is concerned, this was a bitter pill to swallow, but it now seems much easier to deal with and I am now recognizing its effect in my life.

My church made me cry today. They said they were going to hand out a small present to all the WOMEN in attendance, and gave out carnations.

Guess who got one?

Me.

I wept.