Unplanned

So, here we are at Chemo Day 3. First the good news. Doctor is VERY pleased with my numbers. He's going to schedule me a PET scan after my next infusion (Chemo Day 4) instead of waiting for six months. Fingers crossed that news will be good! So far cold sensitivity has been my greatest side effect, if you don't count all the time of coming and going and hauling around the slow dose pump from now until Thursday.

Gotta take Patches (my calico) to the vet for her annual this afternoon, so I posted the third part of Masks 28 early.

The last time I posted, I think I might have rubbed some people the wrong way with what I said. At that point in time I hadn’t really been thinking about the whole picture with what I had said.

Since that last post I’ve done some heavy soul searching. And I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to apologize for how I came across in my last post.

I feel like I may have rushed that post into existence.

I am sort of flattered: I stumbled onto a Forced Fem story on You tube that is almost word for word my "Autobiography", and "You Did What To Me".

I messaged them but do not intend to ask You tube to take it down.

Some of you may be offended if their work is stolen like this.

I am not sure what to do.

Ahabidah, Gwen Brown.

Slowly but surely.

Checking into renewing my 16 year expired pass port and going to Israel.

If you ever look at a list of the most stressful things that can happen to you, moving is pretty high on the list.

And I should know, having moved a large number of times.

but stressful or not, I am moving again.

The only good thing is the place we are going to looks pretty darn good.

I would ask for hugs, but then I gotta pack them . . .

I'm disgustingly old, 77 1/2, and while there have not been any diagnoses of Dementia or Alzheimer's, I'm tired, so tired. The Doctors such as they are think I have MS. For now, I plan to keep writing as a relief to my severe Depression, I do not plan to publish any more whether under Ahabidah, or Gwen Brown. I'm hoping that I die in my sleep rather than rot away in a care center. I was going to leave my email but that will expose me to scammers, so perhaps I'll just check the site for PMs, if there are any. Should anyone want to, I am sure the Admins can contact me.

from GOC.

or is it fantasy?

So yesterday, mom and I got laundry and groceries done, and then we took Sam to a bookstore.

Unlike most places, they were allowing dogs to come in, probably because of the heat, so I was in heaven meeting several pups and giving them some petting.

Which made me one happy Dottie!

and I'm running a fever of 103F right now. Just took some tylenol. I have more than a few of the markers for being at higher risk from covid, so keep me in your thoughts, please. I'll let you all know how things go over the next few days.

I have been trying to set up my new computer, and for the most part I am happy with it, but I do have some minor issues I have not been able to fix. its mostly the keyboard, as somehow when I try the key for the apostrophe and the quotation marks, I get this instead: è È.

I have tried to reconfigure the keyboard, but so far, no luck.

It is not a major thing, I can live without them, but it is kind of annoying, and it has slowed my writing.

Ah, well,

Power just returned after a couple days. Now might be a good idea to get new batteries for a couple of my UPSs. I may be able to return my worn-out UPS batteries by UPS.

So, day one of chemo.

Got to say, I'm having second thoughts about it after the lecture and Environmental Protection Suit I was given to clean up spills, if any. To include, if more than a small amount gets on your cloths, put them in the bio-hazard bag and bring to us for DESTRUCTION. And this is stuff I'm putting INTO my body intravenously! I mean, I get where Paracelsus was going when he said, "All things are poisons, for there is nothing without poisonous qualities. It is only the dose which makes a thing poison,” but still!

It was still about 95 Degrees F (35 c) at 1:00 am this morning and though my apartment was 76 F or so, I woke up with cabin fever and stepped outside to get away from the noise of the chiller. As I sat there, I could hear a woman on the street screaming hysterically. She sounded close enough that I decided to see if calling the Police was in order. She was actually about 2 blocks away, so walking as fast as I could it took less than 5 minutes to get to her.

Well for now at least.

Next year will be 20 years since I came out, 18 years since I had mtf surgery. Now I have questions. You old timers know who I am, and the problem logging in with my old user name. (Gwen Brown)

so unfortunately, I have had a setback with my dentures.

I started having pain, but I'd promised my aunt I'd drive her to her doctors, and so went without them,

When I got home, I discovered the reason why - I have a couple of bones making their way from under the surface of my gums.

I will have to go see the dentist, and see if they can do anything, and because of the long weekend, I'll be making the call on my birthday.

Sighs, hugs please?

So, saw the Oncologist this week and we went over the results of my PET scan.

First the good news. All of my organs are cancer free, lungs, liver, kidneys, the whole smash. That's the good news. The bad news I am Stage IV. The PET Scan showed:

There are several small left sided peritoneal nodules measuring less than 1 cm in short axis diameter, image #240-254. There are a few small sub-5 mm right-sided peritoneal nodules which show no significant hypermetabolism, image #249-253.

yesterday, we went to a graduation party for my daughter's friend Jason.

And while there, I was introduced to a 4 year old girl who apparently decided I needed a hat to complete my look, and gave me hers.

We traded the hat back and forth, and then she upped the ante by giving me not only the hat but a small suitcase filled with her toys.

The whole thing almost made up for being called "Todd" the whole night.

Almost.

True Story. TODAY