Autobiographical

Computer woes

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I was just about to work on a new story, at 3 am PDT (USA), I think about 11 am GMT. Suddenly the computer went dead. At first I thought it was my wireless mouse, but after I mucked about for nearly an hour, I found that unplugging it all, letting it sit, and re starting everything, it is all fine.

I did order a new mouse since the led in my present one no longer works.

Ahabidah, Gwen Brown

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Unspecified Blood Infection

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I simply can not say how this happened. All the Medical Provider will indicate to me is that I have a Blood infection of of unspecified origin. What with all the different strains of Covid mucking around it is not surprising. For years doomsayers have been preaching the end of Earth through various means.

This isn't surprising to me. There are three major hospitals near to me and a half dozen others.

It's gotten to the point that any time I go out, I wear a mask. Thankfully, I found some pretty flowery masks that do not look quite as awful as most.

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Deep thoughts at the swimming pool.

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So I went swimming today, and while in the pool, I found myself thinking about 2 moments from my childhood.

The first involved a time when I was high school, I was curious about the name for the pants worn by Madonna (they were Capri pants, in case you were wondering) and had asked a gaggle of girls, when one growled at me and asked if I wanted to know so I could buy a pair to wear.

I was taken aback by her anger, because I didnt know why at the time.

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I am sorry everybody

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I was really hoping to have an entry for the Halloween contest, but my brain has decided to douse me in depression, which has cut off my writing spoons.

maybe I will get lucky and it will lift in time for me to finish the story, but I just dont know.

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making choices

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I want to talk about choices for a moment.

See, I dont really trust myself, so when faced with decisions, I tend to turtle and try and avoid the situation. Of course, not choosing is in fact making a choice, and can have consequences.

But there is a more subtle way this works for me, and that happens if someone is offering me advice on the choice.

I find myself wanting to just hand the choice over to them, so I dont have to deal with it.

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shopping

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Gods, my closet is full of jeans and shorts. Looking for brick and mortar plus size dress shops and some new shoes that are trans friendly getting tired of online buy, try, return, routine, because of bad fit. Clothes are something you need to try on in person. Seems like covid-19 decimated the in-person shopping. in the Midwest area, guess it's Kohls and J C Penny's, sighs Dora

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revisiting old haunts

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Really getting tired of just surviving; life is there, but I am wondering if health issues are a result of early life HRT use. Maybe, it's just a phase, trying to declutter my life and wondering why I'm not social. Most of the people at work are counting the months till retirement while finding terminal issues that won't let them retire. Sorry just dealing with end of summer duldrums, finding sleep patterns that are not resetting and really thinking taking the second shift was a mistake.

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saw my doctor today

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So I finally got to see my doctor about the x-rays I had done on my legs.

The verdict was that my arthritis has gotten worse in my hips and knees, and I now have arthritis in my ankle. I also have several damaged tendons in my right foot.

My doc gave me a subscription for some physio, but beyond that there isnt anything they can do.

Ah, well.

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a radically different dream

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So last night, I had a radically different dream.

After having some adventures driving down a steep hill and then trying to find a way back up, I found myself outside a school. One of the teachers came and took me to the office, saying they needed to enroll me.

Now here was the really interesting part.

I told them I did not belong to that reality, so I could not be enrolled.

The office had a large computer, and at first agreed I did not belong in that reality, but then it glitched, and said that I now belonged there, so the teachers enrolled me.

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Hormone Therapy risky

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I hate to say this. I feel betrayed. I'm post operative MTF and thought I was sailing along just fine.

I had wondered why my Doctor had not renewed my prescription of Estradiol .1 patches. She is unwilling to discuss the matter with me, or it seems that way.

In the last months I've had Edema in both legs, odd spots on my skin. Now I am scheduled to have a heart image procedure with dye. They seem to be very concerned with tumors on my spine and brain and Stroking out.

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I may have a new fan

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So yesterday, we went to get groceries, and during our check out, I mentioned that I was a writer to the cashier, she asked me what I had written, and I mentioned my novel Quest for the Silver Cleric, which is available on Amazon Kindle.

She wrote the name down, and promised she would look for it.

So who knows, I might end up with a new fan!

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Chemo Day 5

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Praised be God, and not our strength, for it!

Henry V, Act 4 Scene 7

So, I'm a bit late with this update as I wanted to be certain of what I would say and had to verify with the Doc before I did so. Last week, after my normal infusion the Doc had moved up my six month screen to technically three months. So, off I went to the imaging center, I get pumped full of IV Contrast and I get to suck up some more of those sweet, sweet radiation rays.

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Jeremy Chandler

Does anyone know how to get a hold of Jeremy Chandler. I see he posted here in February this year. I have an email address for him, but just now I sent an email to it and it bounced before I could even look at my next email.

I talked with him a couple of years ago about the possibility of contributing a chapter or two to "My Summer in Pantyhose" when he was having trouble moving on with the story, but at that time, I couldn't wrap my head around the storyline well enough to do so.

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further repercussions of the Move that Wasn't

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So apparently, we are not done with repercussions for the Move that Wasn't.

See, back when we were sure we were moving, my mom put a stop on automatic withdrawals from our current landlord, which was supposed to start at the end of September.

Then we didn't move and asked the bank to restart the automatic withdrawals again.

But then, our landlord called us and said they were unable to withdraw September's rent.

So we went to the bank, and discovered that not only had the stop had been applied to September, the restart we had asked for had not happened.

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looking for positives

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I have been looking for positives about The Move That Wasn't, and I think I found one.

See, for years, one of the shelves on my bookcase was not right, because it was missing a support piece in one corner. I always meant to get around to fixing it, but never did, mostly because I didn't know where I would put the books.

Well, once I had boxed all my books for the move, I finally fixed it, finding a replacement for the supporting piece.

So, I guess that is a positive, right?

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I broke my bed

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So I managed to snap a support strut on my bed. You add a broken computer chair, a broken recliner, and a car that needs an overhaul, I could use to win a lottery.

If the universe would stop beating me up for a bit, that would be great.

Huggles appreciated, as always.

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I Need Advice

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I need advice. A couple of you know my real name and who I am, where I live and all that. I'm not rich but due to my thrifty lifestyle and God, live comfortably. I am free of the blood sucking effects of automobile ownership. I'm bored and at times get depressed. I have to be careful not to make too much money because of the tender mercies of the American Tax folk. Of course, I may be so old that I don't have to pay taxes.

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Declining Health and Fortunes

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The last fortnight in August, 2024 has been awful, with several painful, but undiagnosed illnesses. The Doctors seem stumped or just plain don't care.

On a positive note, I have discovered that not using a cane or a walker stops or greatly diminishes the pain in my body. Part of this may be due to my scoliosis. I used to wear very firm back braces, but not recently. Somehow these mobility devices seem to aggravate all that. For now I am just going to enjoy it all. I do not have an automobile sucking my blood.

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Week off

Hey there, everyone.

I've got a busy week ahead and probably won't have much if any time to write or post, and since my birthday is on Thursday and the long weekend is ahead as well, I'm going to just take the week off and try to reconnect with my muse and recharge my batteries. I will return to my usual posting/writing schedule after Labour Day.

*big hugs*

Amethyst

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Chemo: Day 4

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So, I've decided to name this pump I have to haul around twice a month Kuato, cause it's joined to me at the hip. (Bonus points if you get the reference.) So, the most serious side effect I've had so far is my blood pressure, which had gotten normal was quite elevated today. Almost to the point where they didn't want to treat. My Oncologist wants to me to schedule with my Primary care to have my Lisinopril I take daily doubled from 5mg to 10mg.

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NOT A SUICIDE NOTE

I have been told by non family members that I am super strong and it is amazing that I survived, even excelled at times. My own family has "Ghosted" me, and despite that I fire back at them that after due consideration they were not "worth" it. Nearing the end of my life at times I wish that I had done other things with it. To my children: I'd like my seed back. They have misused it.

It often wonder how the population of BCTS got so strong and how I came to be even grudgingly accepted here. I know that what I write is pure excrement...I'm trying as hard as I can.

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high stress day

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So today was a high stress day. First, we had to get up early so we could take my aunt shopping, and then Sharon called, and asked us to help her get her laundry done as her machine is broken,

We got through that, despite the heat, then Sharon wanted to go to a restaurant on the other side of town, so we made our way there, only for Sharon to cause an issue with our server. so we left without getting food. So back across town to get her and Sam some food, drop them off at home, and finally head home ourselves.

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I am probably going to have to see my doctor

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As if packing wasn't stressful enough, I think I am going to have to make time for a doctor's visit because of my right foot. I found out today I can't handle being in any kind of shoe that doesn't have some support, so my open toed sandals are a no.

Sighs . . .

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Another white knight

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Oregon has this really screwy law regarding grocery bags. While I'm not totally on board with banning single use plastic grocery bags, I can see the logic and I'm willing to admit that throw-away plastic has become a global problem.

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Well here i am

sat typing this at eight in the morning on an overcast but still warmish morning in my hometown of Sheffield

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Songs For My Wife

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Here are two songs that I should have played to my wife many more times:

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=uSrKff0w6CU&si=Cu4

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=7UDhpW0YjDw&si=m

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Chemo: Day 3

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So, here we are at Chemo Day 3. First the good news. Doctor is VERY pleased with my numbers. He's going to schedule me a PET scan after my next infusion (Chemo Day 4) instead of waiting for six months. Fingers crossed that news will be good! So far cold sensitivity has been my greatest side effect, if you don't count all the time of coming and going and hauling around the slow dose pump from now until Thursday.

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problems with my walk

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So I have been having more issues with my walk.

Now, I have always walked weird, because my knees are slightly pointing away from each other, making me walk like I was moseying into town after a week of riding a fat horse. But lately, it seems like it has gotten worse, as my right foot is not only pointing further away from straight, I am now walking on the side of my foot.

The other leg is a little straighter, but it's also the one with more issues with arthritis, which causes problems on that side as well.

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