Years ago, about 20 of them, I had what I called lucid dreams in which I was flying, and could control where I went. Psychological people said that I was trying to escape something. My then spouse got really mad at me when I told her about them. Now, I see that I was trying to escape from her abuse of me. We were married 38 years because I kept trying to make it work. In the latter years she was a "dry alcoholic", refusing to go to AA.

Having trouble finding inspiration for a 2024 New Year's Writing Contest Story? Or maybe, for your second competition story. (There's no limit to the number of times you can enter, although you can only win one prize.)

or more excuses for a late post!

It is already -15 C here, and the forecast says its going to get much colder, until we are going to have -30 C for a high on Thursday and a low close to -40 Thursday night, with wind chill to make it feel even colder.

wish us luck as we try to weather the weather!

until 2025!

or is it?

“If I have all the eloquence of men or of angels, but speak without love, I am simply a gong booming or a cymbal clashing. If I have the gift of prophecy, understanding all the mysteries there are, and knowing everything, and if I have faith in all its fullness, to move mountains, but without love, then I am nothing at all. If I give away all that I possess, piece by piece, and if I even let them take my body to burn it, but I am without love, it will do me no good whatever.

I was sitting on the couch in my living room this evening, just catching up on my e-Mail from the last several days, while my wife watched TV. We had been watching the news, and when it went off the show ET came on. It was a special broadcast about Celine Dion, so she left it there even though she usually doesn’t watch that show.

I need to apologise to anybody who got worried about my last post.

First a bit of an explanation. due to some passive-aggressive stuff by me, I ended up owing extra on my cable/internet bill, and could not pay it off this month.

I ended up rage-quitting with my provider, and then panicked that if I suddenly wasn't on for a while, people would worry about me.

instead, because all my manic energy turned into self-hate, my post was more likely to worry people.

I was already in the process of finding a new provider, so if there is a gap, it shouldn't be long.

As this is likely my last chance to post this side of the various religous festivals!

Well, it's been one of those un-fun weeks of dealing with Covid sweeping through everyone at work, and therefore also myself and those at home. Not a horrible case of it for me, fortunately, just mild fever for a couple days, sinus flooding before the rainbow when the clouds parted, and now slow recovery with instant exhaustion after doing anything.

Hello all, it's been quite a while since I have been on Big Closet regularly.

(I have maintained my hatbox membership though, because Big Closet needs to be here!)

The last time I posted any stories was in September of 2019.

Well it did mean i got a bit of writing done instead!

of Advent for any God botherers out there, a fortnight to party season for the rest of us!

so yesterday, my mom convinced me I needed a hair cut, as it was starting to go all over the place. Sadly, I just can't seem to have long hair, so I agreed, and got it done.

Since then, seeing my reflection has brought out my dysphoria, which only got added to today when my ex commented that I looked more like a man, more like the person I was before I started wearing women's clothes in public.

So I am really feeling ugly, and would appreciate any hugs anybody can spare.

Christmas.

Christmas has always been a goodish time for me, decent ones as a kid, quiet, riotous or drunken ones as an adult. I like the time of year. Not the stress, the crowds or the harrying but the festiveness leading into the turning of the year.

This last year I have been climbing out of a deep pit (life, the universe and other things) back into living, and it is good’ish.

Plans for the future are being made, small ones and big target (but achievable) set.

Okay so Mom and I went to get our laundry done today, despite still recovering from the flu.

We use a laundromat rather than the machines in our building, because they aren't all that good.

So we get there, get our loads started, and this gentlemen starts talking to my mom, because she mentioned living in the northern part of the province, and he apparently worked out there.

I swear, he was basically chatting her up, but I wasn't going to be a spoilsport and tell him to stop.

so yesterday, I got very sick, with the runs, vomiting, joint pain, and a fever.

I'm a little better now, but still not all the well.

huggles appreciated.

I'm sick. It appears to be a simple cold, but it's been with me for five days. I'm going to try to get in to see a doctor today or, at least, get a covid test.

Things may be delayed around here for a bit.

Hugs to all,
Erin

Reading a story here, that set me on trains of thought. The story had dark and light, but I identified with a bit I really do not like having identified with.

The idea of suicide by neglect. It rang true and hit home hard.

And a lot of the other issues about growing up and acceptance and self doubt etc.

So here is my story, not for enjoyment or sympathy but to see if I can put it into some semblance of order that makes sense to me. Some info will be relevant, some is just me hanging it into its place for me.

well, I have some good news.

I talked with the cable company, and got them to wave the 470$ fee for my cable box.

I feel a lot better . . .

A last post from oop North!