Autobiographical

Brizzle news

The hot news from sticky Brizzle is that i've managed to complete the next chapter of Book 28 in basically one sitting (save for food and drink). Its up on Patreon now and i'll be starting the next chapter probably on Sunday!

Off for a walk now, see you Sunday

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Confessional

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Confessional

I was a young man once; it seems
So long ago – a different place.
The landscape’s still familiar, though.
Familiar as that young man’s face.
I had a young man’s dreams, back then –
The race to run, the world to win –
But other dreams I had as well,
Because my Emma was within.

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Stockings and Shoes

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Wearing stockings, is there a good way to stop your feet from sliding around in your shoes? I don't usually wear any leg coverings because my whole body is almost completely hairless. Today I was playing and noticed that my feet were sliding round in my shoes.

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I survived the exterminator's visit

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So yesterday we had an exterminator in, trying to get rid of roaches.

So mom and I spent the day over at my aunt Terry's, and I got mauled (or at least nearly licked to death) by her dog.

Finally, we were allowed to come home, and we've spent since then returning stuff to their proper places.

So . . . yay?

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Rumors of my demise are greatly exaggerated

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I've just posted the 15th chapter of "Sisters Are Doin' It For Themselves." In this episode, our plucky heroine finds herself on the other side of the globe, Berlin, Germany to be precise, planning to spend three days shooting a music video with Trent Foster while he's on the first leg of his European concert tour. There's bound to be much singing, cavorting, sight-seeing, and moments of self-reflection. The cavorting might come as a bit of a surprise though. IJBOL. No, really. And spilled my coffee all over the table.

I hope my fan(s?) enjoy it.

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had a cute moment at the pool today

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So I went to the pool today, and while there I had a cute encounter with a small girl, maybe 2 years old.

She asked me about the skin tag I have on my forehead, and I told her it was just a little bump, and that I have a lot of them.

She asked about my bumps, so I showed her the skin tags I have under my arm, and she was so fascinated she had to come over and touch them.

I looked over at her mom, but she was on the phone and I don't know if she even noticed, but I thought I'd avoid trouble by waving goodbye and going elsewhere.

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Headaches

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Hey loyal readers,

I was really hoping to have a chapter of Apocalypse Dawn to post tonight but between fighting writer's block since Saturday, having extra shifts this week, and now having a colossal migraine that will not go away, it's just not happening. Hopefully I can shake it and the writer's block off before my one day off on Sunday so I can at least get Snow Angel out on schedule.

*big hugs*

Amethyst

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Life as a Male

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Over the last fortnight, I've been gathering my resources, buy men's clothing, and making all sorts of decisions in a very deliberate way. Life is really complicated and where possible I intend to live as a man as far as that is possible. I idea of living as a recluse in the deep woods keeps passing through my head. I have no idea what my life will look like in the future.

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I'm still paying for a mistake I made Wednesday

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On Wednesday, I made a terrible mistake, and I am still paying for it.

The elevators in my building were not working, and thanks to being in manic mode, I started to panic about not being able to pick up my brother or take out the garbage.

So I made the mistake of taking the stairs down.

Wednesday, I didn't really feel it, but by Thursday, I was in serious pain, and my left leg simply wouldn't work properly.

Since then the pain has gone down, but I am still struggling to stand, walk, or straighten my leg.

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I met with a four footed furry therapist today

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so today, I got to go over to my aunt's place and spend time with her puppy.

To say I needed a four footed furry therapist today is putting it mildly, so I'm glad he was taking appointments!

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Dreams

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Dreams can be fun. Dreams can be bothersome. I am very fortunate that I seldom have nightmares. I don’t think I have ever had a night terror. Most of my dreams start out of nowhere and fade into nowhere. Many involve my life in the military and the jobs I had. They are never unpleasant. I also have dreams that involve the work I have done since I retired from the military. I worked In loss control for insurance companies. It was interesting work, and I was good at it. I also dream about making love to wonderful women, including my wife of more than 50 years.

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Not Transgender

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I've not been writing or commenting little if any at all. I'm searching for a way for an old person to move away and become a recluse. I was checking out cars on line, perhaps a lease if they'll let me. I hope that the financers don't try to play games with me.

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MONES!

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Thank [insert deity of choice here] for California health insurance!

I had my doctor's appointment with Planned Parenthood this morning, and just got the call from them that my prescriptions for Spiro and estro patches have been called in to the pharmacy!

So, within the next couple days, yo' girl is gonna be on the girl juice! Woo!

And I got ANOTHER great piece of news too: my insurance *actually covers hair removal.* I'm not certain how much/where, but that's a HUGE relief.

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Referral pt 13 - The complaints

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It's been and up & down week, and it was only Thursday when I received the latest news from the local NHS complaints office:

"Your complaint and the response from the practice, together with your recent emails is currently undergoing an independent clinical review. We will of course let you know once this has been completed."

So all I can now do is wait.

I have asked, several times, for a change of GP but I've heard nothing about it as yet - that doesn't have to depend on the complaint(s) but I suspect they have linked the request with the original complaint.

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why am I doing this to myself?

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As most of you can tell, "Games without Frontiers" is pulling from the darkest part of my past, and then spinning it by imagining if I had been given support right away.

And writing it is stirring up my PTSD like crazy.

So why am I doing this to myself?

Because I think I have no choice.

This story is bubbling up every time I go to bed, so by the time I wake I either write or explode.

So the story will continue, and I will need all the support I can get.

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tough couple of days

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So I have had a tough time the last couple of days.

Been fighting PTSD, and dealing with depression at the same time.

And just for the sprinkle on top, I have also been dealing with gender dysphoria.

But I will not surrender, and the sun will shine again.

Until it does, I appreciate any huggles you guys want to sent.

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Referral pt 12 - New referral

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I've had an email today from the Tavistock & Portman NHS Trust to confirm that they have accepted a referral for me. I immediately responded, asking them for my effective referral date and who made the referral. The answers took 15 minutes (!): 26 July 2022 and my GP's team made the referral.

So it's in. Unfortunately the other piece of information from the Trust was that they are giving first appointments to patients with a referral date in July 2018! So if you felt tremors, it's not because I'm jumping up and down with joy.

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37 years and still counting

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It was on this date in 1986 that I went to work as me for the first time, goodness it was nerve-racking and looking back on it, it only seems a short while ago, but with a stroke and ageing plus diabetes, I have slowed up considerably, but I am still going and hope to be for a few more years yet.

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a very strange dream

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Okay so last night, I dreamed I was back in university, and for some reason I decided I was ready to come out as Dorothy.

I was told there was a building with a lot of clothes and other items being given away, so I went there, and after riding the most bizarre series of elevators ever (it was more like a ride at an amusement park) I found the place.

But looking at the clothes, they were apparently discards from the drama department, and I decided that was of little help to me, as I wanted to look as much like a regular female student as possible.

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