Quite busy actually the latter part of the week.

Okay so I took a self-care day today.

First, I shaved my face, a task which can be difficult for me, as I get caught in a catch 22 - I hate shaving, but I hate the facial hair too.

Then I went to a local pool and swam for about an hour and a half.

Then mom and I went out for brunch, and after brunch I got my hair cut.

Its shorter, but I think it still looks feminine and kind of cute, actually.

So that was my self-care day.

is upon us! Well a lot of my friends etc have birthdays this month, certainly more than through the rest of the year. Of course its still a couple of weeks to my own, is it really 10 years since the last significant one?

yay I hope it had less trauma for you than it did for me!

Don't worry, nothing to be excited about. I am as surprised as anyone, perhaps more. I had a huge attack of very painful Lymphoma over the weekend that almost drove me to the Doctor. Saturday, I went to the Barber and got a buzz cut. I don't even recognize myself now. I'm wearing Cargo Pants and a man's T shirt.

Not sure what's wrong. I'll let you know/

I should drop by more often, but life is doing its best to consume all available hours of the day.

Apologies for my long silence. I *am* healthy, and I haven't given up trying to write, but as noted - it's gonna be a while before anything new is posted.

My apologies, and best wishes in this new year for all. In particular my friends who are near and dear to my heart.

With Love

Nicole (Itinerant/"Hey You!")

which means i'm at bit at two's and three's!

la, la, la, la..

So, the other day, my brother-in-law politely asked me to leave his house.

So, I took a big step, personal-wise, a few days ago and met with a therapist to discuss and hopefully unravel the convoluted mess that is me.

I had been to see a therapist a couple of times many, many moons ago, when I first started trying to figure out where I truly belonged on the gender spectrum (if anywhere). Unfortunately, that particular provider was the sort who was all about jumping into the deep end of the pool.

So I've come out to my lil sister and friends as trans they support me

Now my grandmother on the other opinion is the complete opposite

I am struggling to hold in my anger about what's going on in Oklahoma.

(If you haven't heard, they want to band trans affirming care to anyone under 25).

How can people hate trans people like me this much?

Okay so the last couple of days I have really been struggling with depression and also having stomach issues, and it was getting to be a bit much.

Then today we went over to my aunt Terry's house, and met her new dog, a retriever mix named Rocky.

And he turned my day around.

gave lots of kisses, wanted to be petted often, just the thing I needed.

I am grateful for these moments.

Haven't seen a book in a longer while than is DD's norm, kind of worried.

ed

so I got some great news, as the Alberta disability support department has agreed to pay for me to get a new CPAP machine.

so months of stress, finally I am going to not worry anymore.

Wanted to share.

lets hope its a good one, with plenty of cheer (to paraphrase Noddy Holder)

well i thought i'd get in early!

I have a tummy upset and so far I've had to rush off to the loo 3 times while I've been trying to write. I just can't concentrate tonight so if I have time tomorrow I may try and finish then. I'm sorry, but I really don't feel well. Merry Christmas to you all.

It might be a bit chilly for fancin' naked around the stanes but it is December after all!

So I just got off the phone with the CPAP place, and they found a machine for me.

I am going to be literally breathing easier . . .

so I have been using a CPAP machine for a while, and it had done wonders for my sleep apnea.

Unfortunately, it was only a loaner, and I have to return it Friday.

And because of mistakes I made trying to get Alberta Disabled support to cover me for one, I am going to be without one for the foreseeable

There have been a lot of times, I've made massive errors, and somehow avoided consequences, so if this time I am going to pay for my mistakes, so I can't kick too hard.

Still, its gonna suck not having the machine considering how bad my apnea is.

Okay so today I was doing a little taxi service for Sharon and Sam, and while they were out shopping in a mall Mom and I went to the food court and got supper.

On our way back to the car, a little boy, maybe about 3 or 4, came up to me and proudly showed off the candy cane he had.

I told him "wow", the kid's dad grinned and kind of blushed, and mom and I went on our way.

Every once in a while, God throughs a little goodness my way, to remind me its not all darkness in the world, and today I really needed it.