Autobiographical

Fires in SoCal

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The fires being reported in Southern California are not that near me. The closest is about 30 miles away on the other side of some mountains.

I have friends in those areas, but I checked on them just now, and they are okay.

Hugs,
Erin

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Brain Not Working Well

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It is becoming more obvious every day that my Brain is drying out like a prune. Not going to use any Medical terms. Don't know how bad it will get, how soon, or how long I can keep writing. So many of you have been such a blessing to me.

Thanks

Gwen Brown (Boucher)

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my daughter was worse today

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My daughter was worse today.

she could hardly walk, didn't talk at all, and needed her mother to tell her repeatedly to before she did things.

I am really scared something serious is gone wrong, and Sharon is blinded to it by her religion.

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I had a terrible nightmare last night

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I had a nightmare last night that I had been r*ped, and was trying to tell a female police officer about it while in a bathroom. In the dream I kept repeating "I want to die"

As you might expect, I am shaking.

hugs appreciated.

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Sam had a relapse today

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So we had Sam today, and it was clear she had some kind of relapse of her anxiety. To make it worse, she told my mom that she shouldn't have gone to a BBQ at her friend's house on Saturday, suggesting something happened there that has caused this.

I honestly don't know what to do.

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Can Someone Explain ?

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How did I get here? I am not Gay, never was. YET somehow I am a post operative MtF woman and enjoy living that way. At 75 years old, there will never be intercourse, of that I am completely sure. Lots of those who I know figure I am Gay. I was married to a woman until 2005 for 38 years. She was as messed up as me perhaps, very unaffectionate. We rescued each other from terrible abuse. I worked very hard to heal from its effects. She refused to acknowledge that it ever happened.

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Surgeries

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Just to let everybody know I'm doing fine since March I've started dialysis and I've had a double bypass surgery.
The Veterans Administration has upgraded me from 100% P&T to SMC -S. Aka 100% for kidneys and 100% for my heart. With a bunch of other rating 0% to 40%.

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Update: Thank You!

Hey everyone. This is an update and quick thank you (to be updated in the morning.).

As of right now we have met our immediate needs and that combine with a loan from a friend of BC will go a long way to some of us getting some needed sleep.

We aren’t 100% out of danger but we will likely be ok and have a better idea of what the immediate dilutive for BC looks like.

HuGs,
-Piper

There have been an awful lot of begging letters going out of late, and the most recent ones, I have to say, are solely my fault.

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For those who >can<, but have not yet ...

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This is only for those who >can<, but have not yet contributed.
---
Please think about what BCTS is worth to you.

When I sign into BCTS, the back of my mind whispers "checking up on friends".

Happy sniffles from well over half the stories that I/you read? (Me)

Will these ratty old shoes hold out till Social Security Pay Day? (Me)

A lot of us here have been reading for years or decades. (Me, only years.) And some have been writing for years to a decade-plus.

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Dammed if I do, dammed if I don't

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I am an addict.

I am addicted to imagination.

Fantasy, science fiction, comics, almost anything would do as long as it allowed me to not deal with the real world.

Nowadays I get my fix mostly online, including the ability to create a fake version of me so I never had to face my real self.

The result is I am an overgrown child, completely unable to handle the adult world.

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Just an update for folks (I'm still around!)

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Heya folks!

So, just wanted to let anyone who might be curious know I'm still around.

I haven't posted anything in a while... but that doesn't mean I haven't been working on stuff!

Believe it or not, I've got several stories in the works, a book on the way through Doppler when I come up in rotation, and I'm working on a few projects with a rather illustrious partner that y'all will eventually see the fruits of too!

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Life Is Sad At Times

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I had been friends with someone here for many years and she helped me through times when I was Suicidal. We used to PM and use SKYPE a lot. I even drove hundreds of miles to visit a couple times. Then she decided to get married and suddenly it was just off and completely so. When I asked questions, suddenly another member here felt obligated to be mean and blunt with me, treating me as if I am a idiot. She even asked if she needed to spell it out for me? Then another member with no knowledge of the situation from across the pond was similarly acting like a YOB.

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strange call from Sharon last night

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Something strange happened last night.

just as Mom and I were headed for bed, we got a call from Sharon. When Sharon is angry, her accent and speed of speech make her hard to understand, but from what I could gather, she had a "feeling from God" about some kind of evil coming into the house, and went to check on Sam, who was playing with her cell phone

Sharon asked to see what she was doing, and Sam refused, and Sharon lost it, and she had called us to take Sam for the night because Sharon couldn't have "a dark spirit" around.

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The Addictive Hum of the Teeming Sycophants

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“Do you miss working?”

It’s been four months since I sold my last business. During that time, my blood pressure has dropped from an average of 130/85 to 110/65. My weight has also dropped fifteen pounds -- with little change in eating or exercise. I have hope that I’ll soon fit into the dresses in storage bins marked an accusatory “too small.” As if it was somehow their fault that my waist had disappeared over the years, causing them to become too tight.

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Bleh

Hey everyone,

I was hoping to get back into a regular posting schedule by now. even if it was bi-weekly instead of weekly. That plan kinda went tits up with the new job keeping me so damn busy and catching a terrible cold twice in the last month . My immune system sucks, and while I have people making sure I'm taking care of myself and taking vitamins, I can't wait until I can get my medical stuff for Ontario sorted so I can see a doctor about my hormones and anxiety meds. Work has kind of been stressing me out and pushing my anxiety so it might be contributing to things.

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if life would stop beating me up, that would be great

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well, yesterday we managed to get the window on my car fixed, walking away 500$ poorer in the process.

Only to have that fix last less than 24 hours, thanks to my mom.

We were told to not put down the window for 24 hours when we picked up the car yesterday afternoon, but while doing a grocery run with her sister, my mom forgot and started to put the window down.

The glass didnt fall out, but its no longer in place.

So off we went back to the dealership today to get it fixed - again, but they haven't called us back, which means we are sans car for now.

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bad day today

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I have had a really tough day.

It started with mom blowing a fuse making breakfast, and it took about 10 hours to get power back.

Then when we went to our car, we found that someone had smashed in my driver's side window looking for valuables
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Mom is convinced they wanted our parking pass, as that is the only thing missing, and therefore its my fault for leaving it visible to people outside the car.

sighs . . .

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July has several anniversaries.

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The first is my anniversary of a change of lifestyle which occurred on July 14 1986 when I went into my office in a skirt for the first time.
I am still amazed that there weren't more challenges and now 36 years later no one seems to care.

Second, it is 7 or 8 years since my son took his own life. I try not to despise my daughter-in-law, but it's hard.

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FYI: Cyst On Brain

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Cleaning house, I stumbled upon some old records that show I have a Cyst on the right frontal lobe of my brain that was detected in 2012. I'm seeing my health care provider on Tuesday, and am mildly frightened. Do these things turn into something more serious? The internet is frightening the hell out of me.

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Still in the hospital,

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So I went to the hospital last June 31, I'm trying to get this infection in my leg well and truly gone. I am currently in a nursing home being pumped to the gills with an antibiotic IV, I recently got my laptop from a friend and am unable to look up my passwords for my zoom account or my e-mail for that matter. When I get better I will resume where I can. The big thing I am currently worried about is not being able to take care of my finances weirdly enough I was able to get on my bank account but not my credit card accounts. When I know more you all will know more.

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Something Has Happened to Me.

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A couple of days ago I looked at my reflection in a window and was shocked. I look nothing like a woman, and don't care. I used to work really hard to appear feminine, in leggings and skirt and nice top on my bike. I don't walk much because my knees are both awful, and doing research, at my age (75) knee work just doesn't seem to work out. I'll stop complaining.

Now, when I go out, it is long pants. I have naturally grown B cup breasts but can't wear a bra of any sort because my lymph nodes all up and down my ribs hurt awfully. The girls really stand up with no sag.

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Jaci is gonna laugh at this entry

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I surrendered to Jaci's girl germs, and put on a skirt for my birthday yesterday.

Despite the fact I look like a dude in a dress, nobody said anything negative.

in fact, I got complimented on my outfit while in Walmart

I was getting a few things, and this lady had a little one in her shopping cart, who couldn't keep her eyes off me. I waved at the little one, and that's when the mom complimented me on my outfit

I think I blushed hard enough to drown out the lights.

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Referral pt 2

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Please bear in mind that I'm writing about the UK. Your experience may vary!

I wrote to my GP on Monday, confirming my wish to be referred for a Gender Identity Clinic, adding that I would also like an Orchidectomy. As an elective procedure (and not being performed at the same time as GRS) there's likely to be a fairly long wait for an NHS date.

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