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Three Girls
Book One Chapter Five Sacrifices and Sonatas by Andrea Lena DiMaggio |
Three girls find they have a lot more in common than their music...
yuki's wish - playing, freedom, music...all for what if not to be the girl i am
Previously...at the Perth Amboy Panther's baseball practice...
“Meet the newest member of the Perth Amboy Panthers, Yuki Takahashi.” Danny’s voice was clear, and he smiled warmly at Yuki, inviting his charges to greet the girl.
“What the fuck?” Billy called out, but his tone was still somewhat jocular.
“Son of a fucking bitch.” Jackie Davidson shouted. “I’m not playing with no fucking girl.” Jackie had show reserve and calm and a bit of intelligence in the midst of his rude comment in that while he was unwilling to play with Yuki, at least he had accepted that she was a girl; thus showing himself to be a misogynist even if he wasn’t a homophobe.
Teddy had already left the group and was sitting by himself on a folding chair in the corner. He was shaking his head; everything he knew about his best friend had changed, and maybe everything he knew about himself as well.
“No fucking way, man. You guys are kidding.” Kenny Fitzsimmons stared at the girl in front of him. He stepped up to Yuki and tilted his head, much like a puppy might after seeing a moth or a bird for the first time. A second later he shrugged his shoulders before sticking his hand out to greet his new teammate.
A few boys stood off to the side…the ones that Danny had said might be reluctant but would support their teammate even if they didn’t understand. Two boys walked out altogether. Tommy Avila and Juan Ortiz came back after realizing their baseball scholarship opportunities would diminish severely if they didn’t play baseball.
“Wow,” Pat Kelly said, shaking his head in disbelief before saying with a surprised smile, “Cool!”
In total, out of twenty-eight players, not including Yuki, seven quit the team, with the aforementioned two teammates returning, so the damage was minimal if painful.
“You…you’re serious about this, huh?” Pat Kelly asked his battery mate.
“Ye…yes…” Yuki bit her lip. She really wasn’t more emotional than usual; he cried when they lost the championship game the year before. This, however, was a different context; the moment was highly stressful, and she began to tear up. While most boys would have backed away, Pat put his hand on Yuki’s shoulder, almost as if they were standing on the mound discussing what pitch to throw South Amboy’s power hitter.
“Hey…Luke…don’t worry…I got your back.” He leaned in and hugged his buddy without thinking of the implications. Yuki shied away uncomfortably, making it even more awkward. Pat refused to let go and patted her on the back — teammate to teammate.
“Hey…look at the fucking fags…” Benny Trajillo pointed at the two. He turned just in time for Teddy Dudek to punch him in the chest; not hard, but hard enough to send him flying into the dirty towel hamper. Teddy walked up to Yuki and shook his head.
“I hope you’re fucking satisfied. You just took away the two things I value the most.” He walked off. No one but Coach King saw that the boys face was grief-stricken.
And everyone in the field house noticed that their newest teammate had burst into tears. Several of them came up and patted her on the back; albeit awkwardly and with a lot of wonder. Billy Calabrese leaned close and whispered,
“It’s bases loaded…we’re ahead by one and there are two outs.” He smiled and the girl stared at him in confusion until he said softly,
“Put the ball over the plate, Taki…we’ve got your back.”
The following day, just before practice...
“Hey, Dudek, got a sec?” Pat Kelly called around to Teddy, who sat staring at his locker on the other side. Teddy offered no objection, so Pat walked around and leaned against the bank of lockers.
“What’s with you and Taki?” His tone was more than insistent, and Teddy lifted his head long enough to comment,
“Fuck you, Kelly, mind your own fucking business.”
“As co-captain with you, you fucker, this is my business. What the fuck is going on?” Pat folded his arms and glared.
“You wouldn’t understand, Kelly…so just let it the fuck go!” Teddy turned his head away and sighed.
“I don’t, you dickhead…that’s why I’m asking! You and Taki and me go back a long way…what the fuck is going on. He’s been your friend like…forever…don’t you fucking care?”
“Who the fuck are you to ask me that?” Teddy stood up and stepped toward Pat who just shrugged and smiled.
“After Luke, I’m your best fucking friend. What’s going on. Talk to me, bro.”
“Things change, BRO. Things have changed and it sucks big time.” Teddy looked around and noticed that several of his teammates had gathered around the locker waiting for confrontation. He waved his hands at Pat in dismissal before walking out of the locker room.
That evening at Caryn's...
“What does Dr. Brennan say?” Caryn asked.
“Take it slow? Why do I have to take it slow?” Yuki frowned.
“I don’t think she means have to…what did she say, exactly? 'What would hurt if you slowed down?' It’s a suggestion, don’t you think?”
“Okay…”
“What do you think,” Caryn wanted Yuki to draw her own conclusions.
“Maybe…because I haven’t…this is new?” Yuki raised her eyebrows in question.
“What do you have going on right now?” Caryn probed and poked most of the time, but after recent events, Yuki was sensitive to a few things, even if some of them involved the two loves of her life; baseball and piano.
“I have a recital in Newark next month…and I start the season for the team on Thursday.” She smiled, but her smiled quickly turned to a frown.
“It’s the other ‘thing’ that has you doubting yourself, right?” Caryn handed Yuki a box of tissues as the girl began to tear up.
“I thought…if I came out…that…” She began to weep softly.
“That he’d see the real you?” The girl nodded and Caryn followed up with,
“That he’d like Yuki…that his friendship for Luke might become something more, right?” Yuki nodded once before picking up a throw pillow and burying her face in it.
“He doesn’t see Yuki, does he…he doesn’t like Yuki at all.”
“Yeaahes…” the girl sobbed.
“BBbbuttt…..”
“But what?” Caryn knew where this was going. She patted the girl on the knee and pointed to the box of tissues. Yuki took some tissue and wiped her face.
“I can’t go back…I can’t….” Her voice trailed off, only to be replaced with new sobs.
“To the way it was…when you were still only friends, right?”
“Yessshhsss. When he didn’t hate me.”
“Do you want to go back…to be Luke again?”
“Nnnohooo?”
“Well, then, what are we to do?” Caryn include herself in the mix, not to answer Yuki’s questions so much as to give her hope.
“I dddon’t know….Caryn…this hurts mmmore….than anything.”
“It hurts….you think you ruined things….right?”
“Yehhhhessss….mmmmyyyy faawwwlt.”
“Your choice, but not your fault, Yuki. You chose to be yourself…finally…after all these years, right?”
“Yeeehhhsss….”
“So it hurts…but it’s still….a good thing?” Caryn smiled and Yuki half-frowned before replying finally,
“Yes…it hurts…but yes.”
"Yes, what?"
"Yes...it's a good thing."
Perth Amboy High School baseball field...that Thursday...
“Ball three!” The umpire shouted. Pat turned back to him and shot him a glare before throwing the ball back to Yuki. She pounded her glove with the ball as she turned her back to the plate.
“Time!” Coach King walked slowly to the mound, joined by Pat and Terry Arguillo, the third baseman. Danny was angry, but he wasn’t going to give the umpire the satisfaction of knowing it.
“Listen, Yuki, he’s not giving you the outside part of the plate. Just throw it over and we’ll deal with it; trust your teammates.” He put his hand on Terry’s shoulder and glanced at Pat before walking back to the dugout. A moment later he heard the dreaded words,
“Ball four, take your base.” The umpire practically laughed.
“What the fuck?” A familiar voice shouted loud enough for the entire infield to hear. Teddy Dudek walked over to Yuki and motioned for Pat to join him.
“Throw the ball over the plate, Luke…he’s not gonna give you anything. We can’t defend against a walk, okay?” He almost seemed angry at the girl, prompting a mean stare from Pat until he added.
“We got your back.”
With runners on first and second, the next batter took the count to three and one before lining a soft single to right. One run scored, but Billy Calabrese took the throw from the right fielder and gunned down the runner trying to go from first to third to end the inning. That put South Amboy up two nothing in the fourth.
As South Amboy took the field, their coach walked up to the umpire, as if to clarify a ground rule.
“Hey, Belasco…” He called the umpire away from the plate.
“I know what the fuck you’re doing, and you better stop it right now.” The umpire frowned as if his feelings were hurt.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Listen, you fucker, this kid may not be everyone’s favorite, but she’s here to stay, whether you like it or not. We’re gonna win this game on our own; we don’t need any help from you. And if you keep this shit up, I’ll report you to the Board of Ed and the league!” He whispered only loud enough for the umpire to hear; all the while smiling as if they were discussing the weather.
In the end, Yuki only gave up the two runs and pitched into the seventh inning before Terry Arguillo’s twin brother Tommy came in for the final out. But the two runs held up as the South Amboy starter pitched a shutout. The team gathered on the mound after the final out.
“I’m proud of all of you…you hung in there and if we hadn’t run up against the best pitcher in the conference, we might have won this one.
“Nice job, Takihashi!” Terry said and his teammates nodded and patted Yuki. All except one. Teddy Dudek stood off to the side and tried to look disinterested. As the team slowly walked away, Teddy walked up to Yuki and half-smiled.
“Yeah…nice job…Yuki!” His face turned red and he put his head down.
“Teddy…ah…um….nice play on the liner…you know…the left fielder…???” She put her head down as well.
“Listen…I gotta go…I just want…uh….can I…can we still be friends?”
“Oh…yes…yes.” She took it the wrong way…way wrong, and grabbed his arm.
“Oh..shit…no…not that way…just friends…like we were…you know...friends.”
“Oh…yeah….sure….Oh…yeah…that’s great…that’s great, Teddy. Yeah.” Yuki flashed the most convincing smile she could.
“Great, Lu…Great Yuki…Well…I’ll see you at practice, okay?”
“Yeah…practice,” She muttered as Teddy walked toward the field house.
“Yeah…practice,” she said once again, trying without success to hold back the most painful tears she had ever shed.
Practice makes perfect sense...
She attacked the music, as focused and connected as she had ever been with a piece; Prokofiev’s sixth. She was angry, but it wasn’t with Teddy. She was angry with herself; maybe she had moved too fast. The keyboard seemed to shout back at her, but it wasn’t to shame her or accuse her. “Live like you play! Play to live!” The tears streamed down her cheeks as she listened to the words reverberate in her head.
“Life is more than notes…the feeling…the investment…the care…the love of the piece…play and live!”
Two people had sat down to play but only one finished the piece as Luke and Yuki came together, forever one and at peace, no matter what storms they would face. No matter what hurts or disappointments, they would be one person, a vivacious talented young lady, capable, filled with talent and with life…and pitching the game after next against the Metuchen High School Bulldogs.
Next: Stravinsky and Surprises
Symphony No. 6 in E-flat minor (Op. 111
by Sergei Prokofiev
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMqXTGNM1FQ
Comments
Just Another Lovely Story
'Drea,
You have warmed my heart again. If Yuki starts taking androgen blockers, she will probably lose strength. I'm glad to see her friends are starting to come around.
Portia
Portia
Poor Yuki,
ALISON
'at least she has her music to fall back on. She does give the impression that she expects everything to happen overnight,
but with such feeling and empathy from you 'Drea,I'm sure it will work out.
ALISON
Hope?
It appears Teddy might be trying to find his way back to friendship with Yuki, even if its slow and a lot awkward right now. I really hope those two can get rebuild that friendship back to where it was.
It was also heartwarming to see the other sides coach stand up for winning fair. That's what the true ethos of sport should be, not winning at all costs.
I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."
Hey, Drea,
Another excellent story; thank you.
I've hesitated in commenting, trying to figure the story out for myself, and helped by the other commenters. I guess you had Yuki start her RLT in the spring of her senior yr in order to bring up various situations of acceptance, ambiguity and rejection, mainly by her teammates.
I didn't notice anyone bringing this up, but my brain's not working all that great...
IMHO, she would want and all her supporters would strongly advise for her to go on HRT, but not to go full time until after she graduates. She could dress properly all the time outside of school. That would just spare everyone a lot of grief. Possibly she could start her RLT the day of or the day before graduation, if the HS staff were unwilling to "give her a deal" and put the correct name on her diploma. She could even get a legal name change, tell the principle and er staff, but keep it secret from the rest of the school. She still might want to change for baseball in a separate area, but not tell her teammates why or give out a bogus reason.
Hugs and Bright Blessings,
Renee
Ready for work, 1992.
Hugs and Bright Blessings,
Renee
Hey Renee
Yes that spares everyone a lot of grief except for Yuki!! Some of my happest times were just
after I went full-time and was finally able to just be myself not what someone else wanted!!
There is always some turmoil involved in a transition and I think it is best to get through
it as soon as possible!! Then you can get on with your life!! I am not living my life for others!!
Pamela
Its a good thing
'“It hurts….you think you ruined things….right?â€
“Yehhhhessss….mmmmyyyy faawwwlt.â€
“Your choice, but not your fault, Yuki. You chose to be yourself…finally…after all these years, right?â€
“Yeeehhhsss….â€
“So it hurts…but it’s still….a good thing?†Caryn smiled and Yuki half-frowned before replying finally,
“Yes…it hurts…but yes.â€
"Yes, what?"
"Yes...it's a good thing."'
I am glad that Yuki isnt going to let the hurt stop her. I have a feeling there is something going on with Teddy that nobody knows about yet...
"Treat everyone you meet as though they had a sign on them that said "Fragile, under construction"
dorothycolleen
Three Girls - Chapter 5
Go, Yuki, Go!
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine